A/N (at time of original posting):
Its pretty late right now, short little chapter, fitting in size for my little gumbloons (you)
It was Monday, November 29. Sirius had a weird dream about Remus and was off the whole morning.
When James came to the dumpsters and Sirius curled up and stared into the distance instead of talking to him, he was far too embarrassed to tell him why. Fortunately, Sirius did this a lot. James just rolled his eyes and went on about how he'd seen Lily Evans in front of the school wearing her hair in a clip or something.
Sirius only remembered slivers of the dream when he woke up, which disappeared throughout the day. He'd been the genius star waiter at a fancy restaurant about to get some sort of commendation from the waiter community, but then all of a sudden he was back on Jenny's couch – instead of Jenny, though, it was Remus sitting next to him. There was pretence, no coquettish hand lying between them. He spoke softly beside Sirius's ear. His breath was so hot and his voice trickled thick and deep as molasses. Everything he said was dream nonsense, like nothing that made sense once he was awake, and all that. There wasn't even anything dirty about it, except part of his tongue near the end.
Sirius had woken up hard. He hadn't cum in his sleep or anything. He just sat up and it was there.
It was literally the mildest and most innocent wet dream there'd ever been, but he still felt horrible.
Class with Jenny that day was very awkward. She wasn't bothering him, but whenever he looked over at her, her big fucking brown eyes were right in his face— why were they the only parts of her that made him flush?!
"Do you wanna come over tomorrow?" she asked hurriedly at the end of class while Sirius was trapped packing up his bag.
Sirius bit his lip. The rest of the class was leaving. He waved to a couple of boys who made kissy faces and rude gestures toward Jenny.
Sirius tore his eyes away from them, his face gone cold with guilt. Jenny smiled obliviously at him. "I'd love to," he said. "I'll be there. What time?"
"Four?"
"Ah, can't." He had to change and brush his teeth again and— "Five?"
"Okay!" she agreed, bouncing on her toes and smiling. Her face was alight with such genuine excitement that Sirius got frustrated with himself. "I have to leave for my friend's slumber party at 9, so we'll only have that long, alright? 5-9?"
"Alright." He stuffed the last handful of note paper into the bottom of his bag, zipped it up, then got up and slung it around his shoulder. Pretty much everyone else had left.
There was just the slim bit of space between their askew chairs and the line of counters against the back wall, so he shuffled up close to Jenny. She was little. Her fluffy blonde bangs only came up to his nose, and she looked up at him shyly through her eyelashes. "Excuse me," he said. "I'll just…"
Jenny launched herself forward and kissed him.
"Um!" Sirius squawked. Their lips pressed together briefly—it was mushy and warm—and Sirius reeled back and flapped his arms. The back of his hand cracked into something hard and cold.
Jenny stumbled away, looking completely terrified, but they could only look at each other for a second before the glass beaker that Sirius had slapped off of the counter smashed into the corner of a desk and exploded with an echoing shatter. Everyone left in the room jumped.
"Oh, fuck!" Jenny cried. They'd both on instinct scattered into opposite corners and looked at each other then, pink-faced and shocked.
Sirius couldn't say anything, he just gawked.
That was their first kiss?
"Are—are you okay?" Jenny stammered. She glowed red. "Sorry! I'm so fucking sorry, I don't know what I was thinking!"
"Um," Sirius said again. "I—I have to get to calculus."
He got up onto the table and slid over instead of walking through the glass and walked the aisle very quickly. The few people who'd still been packing their bags were now watching them both.
He was flustered. He was angry at how flustered he was.
"S-Sirius!" shouted Ms Mhyre belatedly. "You need to get–"
He only gave her a sneer over his shoulder before he left the room and slammed the door behind him.
James pulled his lips off the cigarette. "So was it good?" he asked, amused.
Sirius kicked his heels against the wall. He watched the white scuffs on his shoes grow with each thud.
He'd run to James right after biology because he was predictable like that. The first thing he'd said was 'Let's get pissed' because he was predictable like that as well, but neither of them had money, liked alcohol, or had a currently operable car, so, instead, they just did what they always did and sat on the Wall and chatted.
"I couldn't tell," Sirius responded after a moment of contemplation.
He thought about her mushy lips and the tip of her tongue, as it had brushed his bottom lip as she was yelling, and about how it made him feel. He looked at his crotch and waited for a second.
Oh? Something happened.
Oh, no. He just shivered because Prongs had his jacket. No, his prick was soft.
"I guess not really," Sirius went on.
"You know what?" Prongs led, setting the cigarette to balance on his knee. The cherry glowed over the spatter of old black spots and sealed-in tobacco ash on his jeans.
Sirius watched it wobble a little in the breeze, the cherry glowing. "You're gonna light yourself on fire."
"No, it's fine," he waved off. "But you know what? You should just break up with her now."
Sirius's mouth twisted.
"Like," James started, plucking the cigarette off of the brand-new black spot it made on his jeans. He took a short drag then went on, "Since she's now actually done something embarrassing, when you're like 'Oh, I don't really think that we're a good couple and I just wanna be friends,' she'll see that you actually have a reason. She might even agree, but either way, you'll split up amicably."
Amicably. Sirius blew air from his mouth. "It's fine. I already said yes to another date."
James's nose wrinkled. "Padfoot, what the hell is wrong with you?"
"She keeps surprising me!" Although he hadn't been all that surprised when she asked him on the date—she'd been staring pretty hard all class. She gave herself away a little bit.
"Your knee-jerk reaction to being surprised is to agree to anything being asked of you?" James asked, bewildered. Sirius flushed and hunched his shoulders.
"Give me my coat back," Sirius grumbled. James rolled his eyes.
"Seriously?"
"I'm cold."
James groaned loudly but he slipped out of the coat and tossed it at Sirius (even though they had agreed long ago to not throw stuff on the wall, because of one certain Sirius's phone incident). Sirius slipped his arms back into the coat—the clouds were thickening and he had a bad tolerance, so he actually was a bit shivery.
Now the wool was cosily warm and smelled like James. He sunk into it and buttoned it up.
They bickered about Jenny for a little while longer, but then James said he was gonna catch Marlene to tell her congratulations on getting her licence (and he'd pass Sirius's wishes on as well) and try to walk Lily to her next class, so they hugged goodbye.
Sirius sat by himself, tried a drag off of James's half-smoked cigarette, and watched a few year-12s play football on the pitch down the hill. They were awful.
He thought about Jenny for a while.
The truth was that Sirius had already thought of what Prongs had suggested. He knew that he could end the charade with no consequences as soon as he left the classroom still feeling her on his mouth, and then he decided he should. It'd hurt everyone less in the end.
However, there was a still greater truth that Sirius was less willing to come to terms with. That was the one he thought about while he kicked the dumpster and watched the flies scramble.
When Jenny asked him to come over again, he hadn't even considered saying no.
He'd taken a breath, thought of how Remus's knuckles brushed his back, and the only word he could recall was Yes.
He took another drag from the cigarette, even though he hated the feeling of the smoke burning in his lungs. Then he let it slip between his fingers onto the wet asphalt below.
He wasn't going to break up with Jenny.
A/N (at time of original writing):
I actually have like what 10k more words of this that im pretty pleased with, so I'll stagger the releases for those a little bit but also i might not remember because I like to be a little stupid like that sometimes & its finals week
I'm also working on a different project - BUT IM STILL TRYING TO FIND A COMFORTABLE WRITING VOICE! Rn is my fuck around era and i am seeing the glorious first tendrils of the find out era, but its still a long time coming. At least i hope it is. I dont really want to reach a point of maturity just yet, im just now forming a little bit of affection for my muggy, confused groping-around-for-answers whole schtick
Seriously, if anyone wants to beta for either this story, the other one about whatever like msg me and ill share it w you cuz what are you gonna do STEAL IT? You wouldn't do that don't kid around like that
But anyways happy holidays everyone! Merriest of christmases and newest of years to my little gabamloonies (you)