Chapter 1 - Something Cliché in the Air
Author's Note and Basic Settings
This is a crack and satirical fanfiction. Some contents are obvious tribute or parody to other games, movies, videos, books and memes. There will be some original characters and new world settings for Remnant in this fanfiction. To avoid cliché teenage drama and make the tone more realistic/mature, all character's ages have been scaled up. Beacon Academy's "minimum" enrollment age is 18. All canon RWBY Beacon student characters will be in their 4th/final year. Ruby Rose entered Beacon at the age of 17 and is now 21 years old while other Beacon student characters will be at least 22. Some major canon plots like the Beacon Dance, Vytal Tournament and Battle of Beacon will all be postponed as their final year event with rearranged time slots. Ruby Rose and Jaune Arc will be in their Atlas outfit/appearances from Volume 7 and onwards, while all other characters will remain as their canon Volume 1 designs. The character of Jaune Arc, his family and Pyrrha Nikos will have a complete overhaul. Saphron Cotta-Arc does NOT exist in this fanfiction. Faunus are not the typical innocent "oppressed minorities" in this story. They are violent, brutal, racist and extremely hostile against Humanity. Faunus are also unable to procreate with any Human variants.
Catepanate Of Broken Crescent is the golden child of this fanfiction. This mysterious faction is located on the Shattered Moon. She is so well hidden that not even Salem and Ozma know of her existence. The faction is based on High Medieval Italy, including the northern commune city states, central Papal States, southern Byzantine Catepanate of Italy and Italo-Norman Kingdom of Sicily. The faction's aesthetics is based on the Norman–Arab–Byzantine culture. The original First Humanity are Remnantia-Maiorians who look like Mediterranean people and all have access to Magic since birth. Magical abilities are linked to each individual's stamina, physical endurance, willpower and sanity. Talented personnel can further enhance their Magical power through hardened education. Remnantia-Maiorians also have a longer average life expectancy of 150 years, slower aging process, far stronger physical capabilities and endurance. They view the Second Humanity as their "lost younger brothers" and address them as Remnantia-Minorians. Their Aura and Semblance are actually the bastardisation of original Magic, the former is a protection spell while the latter is a particular Magic proficiency. Both Humanity can reproduce with each other and their descendants are Remnantia-Ultimas - a race of transhuman/superhuman with access to all the aforementioned traits of both Human variants. The "bastardised Magic" of Aura and Semblance will thus be "upgraded" as standard Magic with extra mastery. Due to very small population base and millennia of slow interracial assimilation with Second Humanity, all Remnantia-Maiorians are now evolved as Remnantia-Ultimas.
The people of Catepanate Of Broken Crescent speak English but mixed with many Latin vocabulary and accents of various mediterranean nations. They write in a mixture of Classic Roman Latin script, Beneventan script and Lombardic capitals. Characters of this faction will also have Latin or Latinised names. The state religion is Lunarianism which is the worship of Lunar God under the spiritual authority of the state Lunarian Church. Their followers are called Lunarians. They are renowned for their religious zeal and fanatical anthropocentric nationalism. The Lunar God is based on the mythological Titan Prometheus while the Church aesthetics, structures, rituals, art and scriptures are all based on Roman Catholicism. To be a Remnantia-Ultimas (or historically Remnantia-Maiorian), one MUST be a Lunarian first, both identities are forever bonded inseparably and thus interchangeable when addressing the identity of the Catepanate's citizens. Lunarians aim to reunite with the remaining independent Remnantia-Minorians through interracial integration and political annexation. The Catepanate Of Broken Crescent 's military is directly inspired by the wonderful books "Armies of the Medieval Italian Wars 1125–1325" and "The Normans in Italy 1016–1194" by Osprey Publishing. The only difference is that they use "Dust Fusion" armaments, including biomechanical machine horses, real life weaponry and military vehicles. The latter 2 are similar to Strangereal of the Ace Combat series.
Beacon Ballroom
Beacon Academy
31st December, 1988
11:30 pm
The 22 years old "Jaune Arc" was in full black suit and stood by the Beacon Ballroom balcony, with a cup of champagne on his left hand. This year's Beacon Dance was merged with the New Year's Eve celebration. While others are enjoying dancing or chatting with their friends, Jaune would like to have some quiet moment for himself. Taking a sip of his champagne, Jaune could not help but think about his parents and sisters. He blocked and no longer contacted them after he ran away from home to attend Beacon Academy. He even took the alias "Jaune Arc" to avoid being searched and forcefully taken back home by his overprotective family. Jaune's real name is actually Iohannes Arcensis. "Jaune" was just a nickname given by a girl when they were still children. Iohannes could not remember who this girl was and what she looked like, or even the reason why he got this nickname. All he knew was that he liked it very much. On the other hand, the fake surname "Arc" was just a shortened version of "Arcensis". The Arcensis family was huge, close, wholesome and happy. His father Ludovicus Arcensis was 46 years old former Huntsman and the owner of the Arcensis Vineyard. His wife and Jaune's mother was the 45 years old Ermengarda Gundobadus-Arcensis. She was also a former Huntress and now the wholesaler and advertiser of the Vineyard's products. Iohannes "Jaune Arc" Arcensis was their eldest child and the only male heir. The rest were the 7 Arcensis sisters: Ioanna Arcensis - Jaune's twin and hardcore historophile; the 20 years old Desiderata Arcensis -author of the extremely controversial and disturbing erotic-gore grimdark fantasy novel "Ninjas of Love" series despite still being a virgin; the 18 years old Hildegarda Arcensis - master hacker; the 15 years old Fastrada Arcensis - household artist and painter; the 13 years old Liutgarda Arcensis - family musician and singer; the 10 years old Teoderada Arcensis - natural born gardener; and lastly the 6 year old Riccarda Arcensis - prodigious dollmaker. Jaune truly missed all of them.
Jaune loved his family very much, so as they loved him unconditionally. Yet, he was very perplexed with their goals. Jaune never understood why his parents refused to let him chase his dream as a Huntsman despite unlocking his Aura when he first started walking. They trained him how to fight not as a Huntsman but as a commander who issued orders and only fight when necessary. Even though he eventually unlocked his Semblance of "Aura Amp" at the age of 12, his parents refused to let him enter any Combat School but forced him into Royal Memorial Secondary School of Vale - one of the oldest, hardest, elitist and aristocratic private boys' schools in the Sanus Continent. Jaune had no idea how his parents could afford the insane tuition fee. During his 6 years of study, he showed excellent leadership skills and his natural born charisma quickly made him one of the most popular guys in the boys' school. Jaune was also extremely intelligent in studying and eventually graduated as one of the top scorers in the entire Kingdom of Vale. He thus received countless unconditional offers and scholarships from different top tier universities all around the world. According to his parent's plan, Jaune was supposed to apply the "Public Policy and Political Administration" major of Royal Atlesian University of Holy Wisdom - the most famous institute in the entire Remnant. Jaune's future was very promising. Surely he would enter the university, finish his education, return to Vale, eventually become a very high ranking Administrative Officer and politician… Right?
Of course the dumbass had to chase his foolish dream as a Huntsman. During the late application period of Beacon Academy, Jaune gathered all his savings and ran away from the huge Arc household villa. He arrived in the city of Vale, only to find that he could not even complete the enrollment form since it required a Combat School diploma. Jaune thus spent most of his savings to a man called Hei Xiong Jr to help forge him a transcript. Junior was a criminal and it was not the first time he provided forged Huntsman transcripts. Yet, this was the first time he nearly suffered a stroke when he read Jaune's education background.
"What the fuck!? Kid! You are the principal graduate of Royal Memorial Secondary School of Vale. The best of the best! Why the fuck do you refuse the offer from the best university of Remnant and… and try to apply a Huntsman academy? A school of horny, undisciplined and rowdy kids? Are you out of your fucking mind!"
"I just want to help people. Being a Huntsman is my dream."
"Dream my ass! Look kid… I am not a good person but… I still feel obligated to tell you this… Being a Huntsman may sound like an exciting ride but the career is short and dangerous. Are you sure you enjoy PTSD and injuries that lead to early retirement instead of a safe, well paid, comfortable and high ranking government career?"
"YES."
"Fine… If you want to waste your parents' money, your potential and future, be my guest. You sound literally the same as those cliché anime 'chase my dreams' teenage drama bullshit. Just don't regret your choice."
Currently in the final year, Jaune could fully confirm that he has no regrets for his decision. He met many wonderful friends like Ruby Rose, Weiss Schnee, Blake Belladonna, Yang Xiao Long, Lie Ren, Nora Valkyrie, Pyrrha Nikos and many others. He experienced many exciting adventures and was able to help people like a true hero. Jaune was always the highest scorer in academic studies and written exams who completely obliterated the once proud heiress Weiss Schnee, to the point she suffered a temporary mental breakdown every single time due to huge mark gaps. However, the situation became very interesting when it came to practical combat exams. In single combat, Jaune was by far one of the worst students who had a shameful 95% losing rate even with Pyrrha's help. However, Jaune's superiority instantly kicked in once assigned to team combat. He seldom attacked during the whole process. Instead, he mostly stayed at the edge of the arena and issued commands to his fellow teammates, only entering the fray unless it was necessary. This left Ren, Nora and Pyrrha doing 99% of the fighting and basically in a 3 vs 4 situation. However, the number disadvantage did not matter as Jaune's orders forever guaranteed successful outranking maneuvers, surprise attacks, breakthrough and encirclement tactics. He could easily predict enemy movement and formed up precise counter measures in split nanoseconds. Team JNPR was thus able to achieve an insane 100% winning rate under his command. It was the first ever Team among all 4 Huntsman Academy on Remnant in record jistory to achieve such impossibility. Ozpin and Glynda at first thought that it was only the chemistry of Team JNPR so they put Jaune incharge of commanding Team CRDL against RWBY to test their theory. However, Jaune was able to achieve the impossible again. Average bullies like Cardin Winchester, Russel Thrush, Dove Bronzewing and Sky Lark could somehow defeat the "Beacon Dream" Team RWBY clean. This shocked Ozpin and Glynda who then repeated the same experiment over and over with different teams. They also slowly increase the scale from 4 vs 4 to 30 vs 30. Yet, the results were all the same: whoever team had Jaune as commander, it absolutely dominated the battlefield. Despite never engaging in direct combat and only issued verbal orders, Jaune's charisma, leadership, strategic and tactical thinking could make even the worst team invincible. He was born to lead and command subordinates like a high ranking commissioned officer, not a grunt in the firing line. While he could temporarily take care of himself in direct combat, he would not last long and require protection from bodyguards.
While Jaune did not regret joining Beacon, he was quite dissatisfied about the current education environment of the Academy. Rumor said that the Beacon Dance was forced to merge with the New Year's Eve celebration due to the destruction caused by Team RWBY in the dock and mech fight a few months ago. They caused so much colloidal damage to public infrastructures and private properties that Beacon Academy had to pay huge compensation to both government and private shareholders as an apology. Valean Council also cut their funding to Beacon for 6 months as an official warning/punishment that the Academy had the obligation to forbit huntsman in training conducting unauthorised operations and controlling them from destroying innocuous infrastructures/properties. It temporarily crippled Beacon's financial reserves and Ozpin had to cut school budgets by merging 2 events together. While nothing was confirmed, Jaune still believed that Team RWBY must take some responsibility, so did his Team JNPR since they are unable to contain effective damage control. Being a hero meant that you must take absolute responsibility for your actions. Yet, Team RWBY did not even seem to care, so as Beacon Academy's education system. From what he heard, Glynda planned to punish Team RWBY by community service order but was stopped by Ozpin. He was too indulgent to his students. A Huntsman school was supposed to be a place for learning combat skills, related academics and self improvement. It was all serious stuff but Beacon Academy was just too… lighthearted. Jaune was also quite disappointed with Beacon's teaching staff and lessons. Professor Peter Port's class was pure dogshit as he taught nothing but only self bragging. Doctor Bartholomew Oobleck's class was an absolute mess as he spoke so fast like a race car that no one could understand. Professor Peach was the master of absence without leave who never appeared in class. They were what Jaune would describe as "government fund-nibbling education failure". Jaune basically achieved academic success only by self learning. The only teacher that Jaune truly respected was Glynda Goodwitch. She may be harsh but she actually ACTED like a teacher with authority who tried her best to install order in the academy, as well as assisting her substandard colleagues. All of Glynda's classes were very informative and educational. Under the mask of a strict discipline master and Vice Headmistress, Glynda was a true good teacher who deeply cared and concerned about the whole person development of a good Huntsman.
Lastly, the student quality of Beacon was very questionable. Jaune knew that he sounded like a shameless hypocrite since he was a fraud who only entered Beacon by forged transcript. However, he was at least very hardworking and able to achieve very favourable academic results. Even though his combat class performances were pure dogshit, he was still one of the top and most respected students in Beacon Academy. Many students just came for fun and the thrill of combat with no intention of learning seriously. Team CRDL was the worst example. They just slept or played Scrolls during lessons, submitted assignments late and failed exams with no regards to their cumulative GPA. They also had clear personality disorders. Team CRDL was not racist because they hated everyone equally with no regards of race, ethnicity, age, gender and species. They achieved true equality by beating up the weak and messing with the strong. Jaune hated to admit this but Team CRDL were the undisputed PhD of professional bullying. After nearly getting kicked out by shoving people in rocket lockers in the first year, they implemented the ancient art of "sniper bullying". It was a very complex task that required distressing other individuals:
Step 1 - Found some kiss-ass who wanted to "roll with the big boys", befriended and made them the golden child of the group.
Step 2 - Recruited an even bigger kiss-ass, treated him well but not as special as the first one. They would try their best to get on the good side of the first kiss-ass in hope of promoting to the Inner Circle of Team CRDL. This created a hierarchy pyramid and functional command structure.
Step 3 - Repeated the process for several time, creating multiple layers of human proxies
Step 4 - Told the first kiss-ass to order the second kiss-ass who commanded further layers of proxies to issue bullying orders on a specific victim and so forth.
This strategy was originally supposed to be a joke made by the ancient dark humor master Filthy Frank in his deleted all time classic "HIGH SCHOOL SURVIVAL GUIDE (BACK TO SCHOOL SPECIAL)". Yet, Team CRDL took it very seriously. They mastered it for real and somehow proved it to be extremely successful. Even if the victims reported the bullying to the teacher, there was no direct proof of Team CRDL being the true bully as all the evidence directly pointed at the proxies. The more layers of proxies, the harder it was for the teachers to reach Team CRDL. In order to raise competitiveness, they even provoked civil wars within the proxies by ordering different kiss-asses to bully each other in order to gain more favouritism from the Inner Circle. By using this strategy, Team CRDL were able to stole Ruby's precious cookie jar, abused Zwei by hunger, cut Yang's hair short, exposed Blake's Faunus cat ears in the streets of Vale City in broad daylight, stole Weiss's credit card, putting laxative in Ozpin's coffee machine, pouring itching powder into Port's underwear and many other insane achievements. 13 students were expelled in the second year due to bullying yet none could successfully testify against Team CRDL despite being the obvious instigator. Of course, the teachers were no idiots and retaliated by banishing them into Emerald Forest to live a feral life until graduation. They were just evil for the sake of being evil. Luckily, Jaune was never targeted during the second year "Bullying Apocalypse" because JNPR always stuck very close together and never acted alone so the bullies had no chance to mess with them. Jaune could not imagine what would happen if Team CRDL discovered his forged transcript. The idea of being blackmailed just made Jaune sick to his stomach. He thus never told the truth to his team. Seriously, who in their right mind would expose themselves so easily? Lie Ren, Nora Valkyrie and Pyrrha Nikos were his dearest friends. While they would very likely just forgive him and never spill the beans, Jaune could not take any risk. Three may keep a secret, if two of them were dead. The truth would absolutely destroy his reputation as the invincible "Cumulative GPA Harvester".
To outsiders, Beacon Academy was not only to train Huntsman and Huntress, it was also a place for finding romantic partners. This statement was absolutely TRUE. Throughout the 4 years of studies, countless love birds are born: Weiss Schnee and Neptune Vasilias; Blake Belladonna and Sun Wukong; Nora Valkyrie and Lie Ren and many other pairs. The most unlikely pairing was not among the students but the veterans, Ruby's drunkard uncle Qrow Branwen somehow married the ice cold Winter Schnee and the loving couple now had a pair of adorable twins together. The only "star" students who still stayed single were Iohannes "Jaune Arc" Arcensis, Ruby Rose, Yang Xiao Long and Pyrrha Nikos. Jaune never thought of finding a girlfriend in Beacon Academy nor even had a crush at all because he wanted to prioritise study and huntsman duty above all else. Another embarrassing reason was Jaune being very awkward when talking to girls. Spending his entire primary and secondary school career in boys only school made Jaune having little to none social skills when it comes to women, except his overprotective mother, sisters, other female relatives and the unknown girl he encountered during childhood. Believe it or not, Jaune's first female friend was actually Ruby, then it was Yang, Pyrrha and Nora. While he still considered Weiss and Blake as friends, they were never as close as the aforementioned quadro.
As bone chilling wind blew towards Jaune, he took another sip of his champagne and looked at the Shattered Moon which his family preferred calling it the "Broken Crescent". Tonight, it looked extra huge like it covered half of the night sky. The entire Beacon Academy was bathed in the light of the Broken Crescent. It was splendid and breathtaking. Whenever Jaune enjoyed the view of this natural wonder, he could not help but instantly recall his father's uncanny description about it:
Have you ever found yourself looking at the night sky? Staring at the magnificent but angst Broken Crescent shining over the black void of space. As you keep looking, its vastness grows and invades your mind. Making you realise there are hidden entities in the dark corners of the fragmentation. Filling you with a dreadful emotion that can be hard to describe. You want to know it. As if you inadvertently peaked at the hidden but righteous truth of the universe…
"Beautiful Moon illusion, isn't it?"
A sudden female voice appeared out of nowhere and interrupted Jaune's deep thought. The accent was very thick and exotic yet somewhat familiar. It was sincere, warm, welcoming, comforting but somehow also powerful, stern, upright and courageous. It was the voice of a natural born charismatic ruler. Jaune slowly turned around according to the direction of the voice source. He was met with the most gorgeous woman that he had ever seen in his life. She was in her early 20s like Jaune and stood at about 174 cm with a muscular hourglass build. She had a pair of big, bright and beautiful silver eyes with charmingly thick and long natural eyelashes. Her stalwart gaze was so powerful that no corruption, lies and injustice could ever escape her virtuous judgment. Despite not wearing any makeup, the woman's face was so stunning which easily put the entire Beacon Academy's Huntress to shame. Her skin was pale white like snow. The chest length pitch black hair was barbered in a wavy cut with curtain bangs. She wore a golden necklace with a huge platinum Broken Crescent pendant and a pair of crotalia earrings with similar colour design. She wore a field grey suit - white shirt, grey tie, jacket, trousers and black shoes. The woman's appearance was the ultimate combination of Ruby Rose, Weiss Schnee, Blake Belladonna and Yang Xiao Long. Yet, her aura screamed the polar opposite of any ordinary Huntress. Unlike Ruby's naive view of justice and only cared about her friends; the woman respected the law, authority and deeply cared about the well being of all personnel equally. Unlike Weiss's arrogance, the woman was humble and earnest despite having a strong sense of self-worth. Unlike Blake's cowardice, the woman faced her wrongdoings bravely and acted according to logic without running away. Unlike Yang's anger issue and hedonistic party lifestyle, the woman was stoic and incorruptible with a vigorous sense of self control. She also never sexualised herself to maintain chastity, solemnity and self-respect. This woman was the peak of Human golden ratio, intelligence, logic and reasoning. She felt like a complete outsider of the Beacon Dance as she was utterly indifferent to the students' euphoric party mood. It somehow reminded Jaune a lot about a heroic video game character named Pax Payne in the missions "Something Rotten in the Air" and "Nothing But The Second Best" in the game Pax Payne 3.
Jaune thought about the woman's rhetorical question. It was plain obvious that she came here for a conversation but what would Jaune respond? Maybe something about literature? It would be a good impression of him being a Renaissance man. "Definitely. The normal Broken Crescent is already very beautiful but enjoying it during the Moon illusion is a whole different experience. The more you look at it, the more you like it is going to suck you in. Something feels wrong yet you want to discover its secret. It almost feels like Lovecraftian cosmic horror."
The woman slightly frowned and responded, "Huh… a very interesting description but flawed. Instead of labeling it Lovecraftian cosmic horror, you should call it the Biblical Truth. As the Lunar God once said in Evangelium Secundum Ioannem 8:32 - 'You will know the truth, and the truth will make you free.'. The Broken Crescent blesses you with truth and freedom, not your heathenish claims."
"Err… I beg your pardon? I mean no offense but I have never heard about the Lunar God. Is it some kind of New religious movement?"
The gorgeous woman did not look offended. Instead, she looked beyond devastated like a loving mother caught her dear underage daughter doing onlyfans in their house. The lady took a long sigh and spoke with concern, "I sincerely hope that you are joking. If not, I will be truly disappointed at how Ludovicus Arcensis and Ermengarda Gundobadus-Arcensis teaches you in all these years."
Jaune was shocked to his core upon hearing it as he never told anyone his parent's true names. It was supposed to be the biggest secret in Beacon Academy. He instantly shouted, "Wait! How do you know those names?"
The woman only asked in a confused tone, "What are you talking about Iohannes Arcensis? Is it really that strange for me to know your parents' names?"
"How… No, they are not my parents. I am not Iohannes Arcensis. You have mistaken me as the wrong person. My name is Jaune Arc, sweet short roll off the tongue, ladies love it. Now, If you excuse me."
I don't want to lie but this is getting too far. Szégyen a futás, de hasznos!
Remembering the useful Hungarian proverb "running away is shameful but useful", Jaune was ready to leave but the woman's next revelation stopped him, "Oh Iohannes, I know your fake transcripts, the truth of why your parents never allow you to join any Combat School or Beacon Academy, as well as the origin of your 'Jaune' nickname. If you want to keep your secrets. You may want to listen to me."
"Fine… you got me... Who are you and what do you want from me?"
The woman smiled politely and was very satisfied with Jaune's response, "Very well. Since we don't have much time, I will make it brief. My name is Sichelgaita Romanus - long, bitter, twist off the tongue, pagans hate it. I mean you no harm as our families have an ancient alliance that is essential to the future of Remnant. You and I are the key to its success. I am thus just here to check on you and deliver an invitation of revelation."
Sichelgaita visibly cringed at her self introduction with the regretful "why am I saying this?" facial expression. She then instantly regained her gesture and handed Jaune a platinum high class restaurant card. As he took a brief look, his jaw instantly fell off, "Coamceuvensis Triumphans!? That is the most expensive restaurant in the entire Remnant!"
"YES. Meet me in this restaurant tomorrow night at 6:30, your parents and twin sister Ioanna will also join us. Wear formal dressing like you do now. You don't need to bring any money since we actually own the place. When you arrive, show the staff this card and tell them your real name. Then prepare for an overly warm welcome from your family and make sure you are free from your friends during the rest of your New Year Holiday. We will have quite some important events afterwards."
"Well… It feels more like a demand than an invitation."
"Feel free to decline if you want to piss off your entire family again and have your fake transcript exposed right here, right now."
"Alright, I am more than delighted to accept your invitation and whatever event that is waiting for me."
"Good. Oh! One more thing Jaune. Please make sure none of your friends are following you tomorrow night like some kind of cliché anime or fanfiction plot. It is going to be a very serious family meeting and I want no uninvited troublemakers. Treat the event with utmost respect like you treat your Huntsman dream. Can you do that?"
"YES, I promise. An Arcensis never goes back on his word."
"Excellent! Sadly, it is time for me to leave. I look forward to talking with you tomorrow night. See you later!". Sichelgaita said happily and did a small but sincere curtsy to Jaune. The young man had never seen a woman do such royal social etiquette to him so he just awkwardly waved Sichelgaita farewell and replied, "Bye! Enjoy your night!"
With that said, Sichelgaita slowly left his sight from the balcony and walked towards the lift of the Beacon Ballroom entrance. Jaune could not help but keep thinking about Sichelgaita. Her name, voice, body figure, appearance, gesture, expression and aura just sucked him in like a magnet. Jaune took another sip of his champagne and sighed, "Sichelgaita Romanus… And I think that perfect girl doesn't exist..."