Hyouka – The AfterStory

Project Collaboration by Commander Cody & Maria

Love Story Arc

Houtarou x Eru

EPISODE 08

The Next Week…

Today was Sunday, which, for many, would have been regarded as a day to seek relief from a boring, if sometimes intense, mundane workday. For Houtarou, it was a relief from all activity; particularly strenuous activity.

During the evening he had planned to see Eru's father to discuss his newfound plan of life that he was comfortable confiding to Eru herself. An appropriate choice, given that Chitanda Tetsugo had a hand in guiding Houtarou in the search for part-time employment during his university years.

"Konbanwa, Oreki-san," Chitanda Hiromi greeted him when bowing. Houtarou bowed in turn after greeting the woman in turn.

"I'm here to see Chitanda Tetsugo-san," he said.

"Of course," said Hiromi. "Please come in."

After saying some words of gratitude, Houtarou stepped into the house.

"Would you like some tea?" asked Hiromi.

Houtarou said he would, and conveyed his gratitude.

"Tetsugo and Eru-chan are in the middle of work, but give him some time," said Hiromi. "He'll be with you in just a while."

Houtarou decided to wait.

When Tetsugo san had finished with business for the day, he decided to admit Houtarou into his office. For Houtarou, the encounter with Tetsugo reminded the young man of encountering his boss, Yamada, the Kamiyama Library head; except for the fact that he found Eru's presence a bit consoling, as she was in her father's office.

"Houtarou-kun!" she exclaimed with great ecstasy, and being light of heart, she gave Houtarou a warm embrace. But Houtarou, feeling awkward, only embraced the young woman in a partial way. Tetsugo gave his daughter some time, for her sake.

But when Eru let go of Houtarou, her face became filled with worry. To her, Houtarou was not returning the affections Eru was giving him.

Chitanda Hiromi had come into the office to serve both her husband and the young man some oolong tea, before she left the room, and Eru followed her mother in turn, at her mother's command.

"So…Oreki-san…Eru had told me you planned to…turn over a new leaf, by the looks of it."

"Well…not exactly," said Houtarou. Could Eru have had a way with words? "More like…expand my career options from where I'm starting."

Chitanda Tetsugo made a light chuckle. "Ah…"

"I would like to teach at Kamiyama High," said Houtarou.

"Hmm…" said Chitanda Tetsugo. "What about your job at Kamiyama Library?"

"The salary is modest," said Houtarou. "But…" It may not be enough…in the future…Houtarou thought to himself.

"I see," said Tetsugo. Houtarou felt little need to spell it out, as scheduling conflicts with his library work and his plan to take a full-time schedule were inevitable. "You would also have to apply for a licensure to teach, as well," he added.

""It wouldn't hurt to try," said Houtarou.

"Well…what if Kamiyama High's positions are filled by the time you finish the program?" asked Chitanda Tetsugo.

"I'm not sure," said Houtarou. "I suppose…I could probably try Kabuyara, or any high school in the Gifu Prefecture…or outside. But…Kamiyama and Kabuyara would by my first choices, because I would like to be with Chitanda Eru. Also…Kabuyara was where I spent my middle school days."

Chitanda Tetsugo thought for a moment. "Oreki-san, you may want to see if there are part-time options," he said. "Are you familiar with someone named Tougaitou-san?"

Houtarou had some vague remembrance of that name. Most likely he would have graduated from Kamiyama High.

"I think I remember him…somewhat," said Houtarou. "It's been quite a while."

"He is the son of the clan with the most influence in the educational administration of Kamiyama," Tetsugo elaborated. "I have good connections with his father. Get in touch with his family when you can," Tetsugo advised the young man. "From what he's told me in my inquiries, there is a university near Kamiyama City that offers a part-time program. He's studying there for his licensure. In the meantime…I'll see what else I can do."

"Okaasan…I'm concerned that Houtarou-kun…"

Eru felt unable to say more, as she looked up from a bento that she already prepared; one that she intended to give to Houtarou. She felt afraid of learning any possibility that Houtarou, at heart, would hardly be interested in her at all; that he would probably regard her as just a good friend.

A good friend, she mused. Is this possibility to be viewed with much ingratitude? Better to have a good friend than an intolerable adversary; but when it comes to intimate companionship…oh, how painful it can be for a young woman to be ignored by a young man who is a friend, but deep down he does not have the courage to say that he loves her, in his words and actions!

"What is it, Eru-chan?" asked her mother, who was busy with preparing dinner in the kitchen.

"Ano…When I embraced him, he seemed unwilling to return my affections."

Hiromi came to her daughter, putting her arm around Eru. "Eru-chan…Perhaps Oreki-san is not ready for sentimental treatment. He just feels a bit awkward. Give him some time, but just be sure to keep in touch with him."

Maybe…thought Eru with great desperation. Maybe…if I could just tell him outright…

It was some time before Houtarou emerged from Tetsugo's office. He was about to take his leave when Chitanda Hiromi said, "Oreki-san, Eru-chan has something to give you."

It was a bit unusual to hear something like that, especially from Eru's mother and father. Long ago, Eru had told him that her family never gave Valentine's Day gifts to people who were close to them. Houtarou could barely figure out why.

But for some reason, the Chitanda family was making an exception. Did the rule apply only to Valentine's Day gifts? Or perhaps the Chitanda family was mellowing in Houtarou's presence?

Houtarou went into the kitchen, following Hiromi.

Eru looked up from her work. "Oh…Houtarou-kun, I made this," she said, beaming. "For you."

Houtarou observed Eru's meticulously arranged bento.The bento was a meticulously arranged, with rice cakes, meat, and vegetables segregated in the container that it could almost be considered as a work of art. Houtarou did not know how to take Eru's gift-giving at first.

"Consider it a gift," said Eru. "For all that you've done for us."

Houtarou began to warm to the idea. "Arigatou," he said. And Eru gave a smile; it was an informal word of gratitude; a reflection of something bringing Houtarou close to her. Somehow, Eru had found the courage to do so.

"Well," said Houtarou. "Ja ne."

Houtarou went out the door. Eru left the kitchen. Under impulse, she grabbed his hand.

"Houtarou-kun…"

Houtarou looked at her, almost like a frightened animal scared out of his wits. Eru's eyes twitched; they were wide with fear and longing.

"Houtarou-kun…watashi wa anata ga daisuki," she said.

"Well..." Houtarou was about to say.

"It's more than that!" Eru exclaimed. "Aishiteru!" she cried. Then she lowered her voice. "Aishiteru…" It was Eru's small moment of personal courage; a word that she had held back for so long, and had just let it burst forth from her like a gushing torrent of water long held by the walls of a dam; an expression of love bottled within herself for so long that to say it out loud brought relief, if only for a moment.

But Houtarou widened his eyes in fright, stunned, unable to cope. (For the first time in his life), He felt an urge to run, but Eru made her grip even firm.

"Houtarou-kun," she said. "chotto matte…."

Houtarou attempts to deduce Eru's intentions. "Is your love…that strong?" he asks.

Eru nods. "Hai," she said.

Houtarou felt like a small animal cornered by a stalking predator ready to devour it. Somehow Houtarou felt as if he would be devoured by Eru's monstrous, obsessive determination to have him "I'm…I'm not sure how to take it," he said.

"Demo…demo…" Eru interjects.

Houtarou forced himself away from Eru's hands. Acting on instinct alone, he backed off. Eru had just used a strong expression rarely used among lovers. It was too much for him to take. He ran out of the front door and into the courtyard.

…I'm not ready for this…I'm not ready for this…

He stood, confused, outside the door.

Eru stood at the doorway, left with the frightening prospect that he had driven Houtarou away, perhaps forever. She stood there still, stunned.

Then tears welled in her eyes. Unable to hold it in anymore, she broke down, crying, muffling her anguished sobs. It was her fault; that was the worst part. Houtarou would come back; maybe? But it was uncertain; maybe he would not return the affections she gave.

"Eru?" her mother asked. She helped her heartbroken daughter to her feet. Eru fought her mother treating her like a little girl, but was so heartbroken she didn't resist.

"Eru? Goodness! You a young lady…and…"

"Oh, dear," said her mother. "What happened?"

Eru didn't say anything, and her mother looked around.

"Where's Oreki-san?" asked her mother.

"I'm…I'm not sure," said Eru. "He left." Her face became very said. "He left…because of me."

They both walked across the hall. "What did you do…exactly…that made Oreki-san go?" her mother asked.

"I told him I loved him," said Eru through sobs.

"A girl to a guy? You know that's not very proper… " said her mother, shaking her head. In her family it was not proper for the girl to be the one declaring feelings, and even Eru's mother and father stressed it throughout her childhood. Yet the young woman's woes were just too much for a lecture on propriety; Eru had to learn the outcome of her actions the hard way.

"Well, how exactly did you say it? Was it just…daisuki desu, or something like that?"

"Okaasan…" Eru said, curling up on the porch, not ready to admit she could ever be so foolish.

"Tell me," said her mother.

"Aishiteru."

Her mother became very silent, horrified at such a serious breach of propriety. But she just brought her daughter close to her in a tender embrace, as she felt that Eru had already gone through enough. There was no point in giving her a lecture, Eru was old enough to handle herself now. "Well, I don't know what you were expecting, though. I can't believe you…After all I taught you!"

"I know!" Eru wailed.

Chitanda Tetsugo observed mother and daughter. "Hiromi? Is Eru all right?"

"Not quite," said his wife. But knowing that this was a delicate situation between mother and daughter, she added, "But I will handle it."

Tetsugo sensed that affairs were going badly for his daughter, but decided to let his wife handle it, at least for a while.

A week had passed as Houtarou coped with a schedule of working in the daytime and studying in the evening. He had gotten pretty used to his life routine. The sundry tasks, which he faithfully discharged, of rendering research assistance to library patrons searching for substantive material, the consultation work related to archiving varied tomes, had the desired effect of pushing to the back of his mind any residue of painful thoughts related to him walking out on Eru; a most painful memory, indeed. The young man could feel the pain in a more acute manner after his animalistic fear of Eru's unusual, forward words subsided with the passage of time.

The time spent at the library allows him to dwell on his thoughts. He hadn't talked to Eru since then. For his first impression of the result of his deed, he thought that Eru, being so upset, would not want to speak to him again. No; such a thought was unlikely. A girl like Eru who was head-over-heels with a young man like Houtarou would keep an open communication line, in case he changed his mind.

With that thought in mind, the conflict became one sided; Eru still pined and yearned for Houtarou, but Houtarou was reluctant to return Eru's affections. He still loved her…as a friend, mostly, at least that was what Houtarou told himself. For all of what his mind was telling him, his heart exhorted him not to sever all contact with Eru and her family. But the idea that he could be so enthusiastic about going along with Eru's implicit proposal for a committed marital relationship with her…

The whole affair drove him crazy. Eru's optimism over a rose-colored life was still at odds with his view of a grey life. Could he possibly spend the entirety of his life with a girl who sought too much the good and the beautiful, the optimism of things he regarded as flawed and therefore not worth the effort of redeeming?

Eru had warned him before about taking a jaded view of life; about his unwillingness to seek a silver lining in a hopeless situation.

Maybe he needed a balance; one that could be found only in a girl like Eru.

Houtarou resumed his regular sundry routine in the Kamiyama Library. He was in the middle of writing an archiving document when his phone rang. After the third ring, he picked up the receiver.

"Oreki Houtarou desu," he said.

"Oreki-san? Ah…Sunohara here. Someone requested your presence at the main lounge."

"Who?" asked Houtarou.

"Someone named Chitanda Tetsugo-san."

Houtarou felt tense. The only reason why Eru's father would make a personal visit would be to resolve a serious family problem.

"Hai," Houtarou acknowledged. "I'll take it from here. Arigatou arimasen."

"Take care, Oreki-san. Ja ne."

Houtarou hung up the phone.

Houtarou arranged his personal effects to meet Eru's father. He figured that the girls' father would bring up the matter of him walking out on Eru, which contributed to her anguish.

He proceeded downstairs to the employee lounge, where Chitanda Tetsugo remained seated, his hands together, in the middle of contemplation. Maybe he, too, was trying to figure out what to say to Houtarou himself.

Quietly, Houtarou approached Tetsugo. "Ano…Chitanda-san?" he called.

Chitanda Tetsugo looked up. "Oreki-san," he greeted him.

"What brings you here?" asked Houtarou.

"My daughter," said Chitanda Tetsugo.

Houtarou sat down.

"Sou desu ne," he said. "Eru…all I can say is that I felt apprehensive around her. But…perhaps I wasn't considering how she felt."

Chitanda Tetsugo heaved a heavy sigh. "Oreki-san, what did you do?" he asked. His question was frank.

"She told me…how she felt," he answered. He winced, seeing that this expression was not bandied about casually. "I…well, I'm not sure how to take it."

Houtarou wanted to spare Eru from her father knowing the entirety of the embarrassing situation that transpired after he, in his panicky behavior, ran away. Chitanda Tetsugo seemed to have some idea it was related to a love confession his daughter made. Respecting his daughter's privacy, and that of Houtarou, he felt compelled not to press the matter further. But he needed to give his perspective on his daughter, in order that Houtarou would not take Eru's behavior in a way that would drive him away from her.

"Oreki-san," said Chitanda Tetsugo. "Eru…well, she was never the best at telling people what she felt…deep down. And I know a lot of young girls at school seem to be taking the initiative, but Eru…she…we had been teaching her propriety. I don't know what happened between you two…but I want you to know that if she said something, it probably didn't come out the way she wanted. She's not used to it. Don't take it the wrong way."

"Iie, I wasn't embarrassed," he lied. It was a lie, and he knew it, given his reaction to such a strong expression of love through an instinct of flight. But he wanted to keep it that way, in order that he could keep Eru's options open.

"How is Eru?" he inquired.

"From what I could tell, she seemed to be in mourning," Tetsugo answered.

Houtarou began to become aware, so painfully aware, that if he were to make an outright rejection of Eru's affections for him, Eru would not necessarily feel angry, but she would be more sad and despondent. From what Houtarou could tell, Eru had, in an emotional sense, invested much of herself into him; a fact reflected by the correspondence and the time she and he spent together. Perhaps as a friend, he felt some kind of attachment to Eru; but at the same time, for him, he was not sure if he could return them.

"Can I think about it?" he asked. "I want to make amends…but I'm not sure how to approach it."

"Oreki-san," said Tetsugo. "This isn't exactly a proposal we're talking about here."

"I know," said Houtarou. "Just…I'm just confused."

"All right," said Tetsugo.

"Let me…let me go home and think about it. I'll give Eru an answer when I visit the house tomorrow evening. I promise."

Chitanda Tetsugo made a nod. "You know, Oreki-san, it took a long time for Eru to have the courage to make this kind of a confession. Just some food for thought…when you consider."

The evening came as Houtarou comes back to his apartment.

"Tadaima," he said, with a great lack of greeted Tomoe with an unenthusiastic "good evening", which prompts Tomoe to ask him:

"Houtarou…is something wrong?" asked Tomoe.

"Iie." he said, in a curt manner. This wasn't exactly material he wanted to discuss with anybody.

Eru lay curled up on her bed, distraught. Through her own stupidity and desperation, Eru had completely compromised any chance of speaking to Houtarou again. In a sense, she was afraid that she had driven him away from her life. A terrifying thought. One misunderstanding had thrown a wrench into the works of her aspirations she had with spending time with Houtarou.

After four years of corresponding with the young man, Eru had thought that he and she would grow close together. After all those years. And Houtarou was holding back. Why, Houtarou-kun? Why are you holding back your affirmation of commitment?

Would Houtarou be completely repulsed by the girl's character, that if given the choice, the young man would flatly reject even the very idea of falling in love with Eru…at all? What manners have I, she asked. Okaasan was right; I was foolish; foolish about how to speak about it. Desperation drove me. How could I let it do that?

There was a knock on the door. The door opened; it was her father and mother.

That evening, Houtarou decided to visit Eru. He would make amends with Eru, and see where his endeavors would take him.

Chitana Hiromi led Houtarou down the hall until they arrived at the guest room. Aside from Eru, there was also Ibara Mayaka. From the conversation, it seemed that Mayaka had heard Eru's side of the story, soon to be followed by a look of horror and a scowl.

"You did what?!" asked Mayaka, scandalized over hearing her friend use an expression rarely used among lovers. "You weren't thinking, were you?"

Eru shook her head. "I was so overcome…I thought…"

"This isn't like you, Chii-chan," said Mayaka. "Most people would say to each other, 'daisuki', 'suki dayo', or something like that." She shook her head in dismay. "No wonder…"

"Maya-chan, sometimes you act a little impulsively, too." Eru said it less as a criticism and more as a gentle pointer.

Mayaka frowned at Eru, though deep down she knew it was true. "Sometimes," she added. "But not like the way you did!" she was quick to criticize her friend. "Even I would never imagine saying something like that to Fuku-chan! Unless…unless…"

Houtarou could notice that Mayaka felt less sure of herself if she came up with a situation similar to her friend. Eru and Mayaka continued talking until Mayaka took notice of Houtarou.

"Oreki," she said in such a frank manner. "You weren't listening in, were you?"

"I had no intention," said Houtarou. "I just happened to be here."

"You totally did," Mayaka was quick to conclude. And Houtarou raised his brows; Mayaka could almost sound like Houtarou whenever he rebuked Satoshi.

"I do know that there had been a misunderstanding," Houtarou said before Mayaka could say anything else. "Which I want to clear up."

Mayaka shot back at her friend. "Oreki-san is generous of heart today," she said.

And Eru made a smile; a smile of relief. "Shall we go outside, Houtarou-kun?" she asked.

Houtarou nodded. Eru got up from her seat in a graceful manner. She beckoned Houtarou to the outside porch outside the gathering room.

"Houtarou-kun…Gomen ne," she said.

It was an informal apology; and as such, reflected how much she seemed to be getting close to him, and how much she wanted to get close to him. Eru was about to grab Houtarou's arm, but stopped herself, remembering what happened what felt like so long ago.

"Eru…" Houtarou began. He took a deep breath. "I…I shouldn't have said anything. I shouldn't have ruined what we had between us."

If there was something between me and Eru, and I was too stupid to realize it, Houtarou said in his mind. That, or I chose to ignore this something…which almost makes me a callous human being.

Eru relaxed herself, putting her hand on her chest. What Houtarou had said to her was a relief, at least for a time. "Some words can be scary," she remarked, but it was almost to herself. "I was…so desperate…"

Houtarou made a gesture. "Daijoubou, daijoubou," he said, trying to calm Eru's nerves.

"Really?" asked Eru, clasping her hand near her chest; it was what she did whenever she felt nervous.

"Hai," admitted Houtarou in a frank manner. "About what you said…I thought about it."

"The way I'm seeing it," said Houtarou, "You told me an expression of love…which people in love don't use often."

"Hai," said Eru.

"Is that…how much you really…care for me?"

Eru nodded. Houtarou sat down. It was left to him to take the initiative. Metaphorically, the ball was in his court now.

Cautiously he extended both his hands until they were near Eru's face.

He stopped. "So all that's left is for me to show you…what I'm thinking right now." he said, looking at her. It was more of what he felt, but Houtarou seemed hardly the sentimental type.

He planned to touch her cheeks; let her know that his feelings for her, if he had them, were conveyed to her. Even without the girl forcing herself upon him, the young man felt an urge, a primal emotional urge to reciprocate such affections the girl had. But why? Well, to Houtarou, there was no other girl ready to give herself to him; no other of whom such a sweet, cheerful and caring disposition would match that of Eru, particularly one who, in spite of Houtarou's failings, would still love him.

Suddenly Houtarou could not help comparing his own faults to hers; where hers would be a tendency to intrude, and have a mindset of naivety, his was a tendency to see the rational, but gloomy side of life; to prize cold, calculated reasoning over warm, fuzzy sentimental feelings. Here he could see that between him and Eru they were opposites, yet their relationship had the potential to help each other grow…if only he would open himself more…

And more…

And more.

But even just this physical affirmation of affection would change his life; it would overwrite his grey life with a life that was rose-colored.

He closed his eyes, and heaved a sigh. Houtarou figured he would need a much-needed balance in his life to offset the rational and the gloomy. Eru took both his hands, which surprised Houtarou. Eru's eyes sparkled; Houtarou found himself locking eyes on Eru. Energy conservation, a way of life he had followed for so many years; but her face, her beauty…

Chitanda Hiromi, who was carrying tea, upon seeing Eru and Houtarou together, stopped herself, trying not to let out a loud gasp. From a distance, she watched, seeing how Eru would handle the matter. Mayaka was next to observe both of them.

"Chitanda-san?" asked Mayaka.

"Shh!" signaled Hiromi. Any presence of her would interrupt Eru and Houtarou's attempt to make amends, and drive them away from each other forever. Mayaka was beginning to find herself surprised. Would Houtarou and Eru really do it? Houtarou was not known for stating how he felt; more about what he thought. Will he pop the question? She asked in wonder.

"Eru…" said Houtarou. He struggled to find the right words. To hell with thinking of the right words. He might as well break the painful logjam that existed between him and Eru. He leaned in closer to her, and touched her face. They both held their breath and closed the distance between them, a gentle kiss.

But breaking this painful logjam that lasted for what seemed to be an eternity meant that he would have to bid farewell to his grey life, and embracing a rose-colored life with a young woman who would be the most important person in his walk of life.

"Eru…what do you of the idea of me…proposing to you?" he asked.

"Proposing?" asked Eru. "Um…" Her ears heard right, but even she found herself confused over how to take it.

There was still one chance to deny it; a chance to say to Eru, "Oh, nothing"; just as he had said the last time he and Eru watched the cherry blossoms during their first year of high school.

But no longer; Houtarou thought to himself. Eru had suffered enough uncertainty; enough painful longing. What he was doing he felt was a duty; but even he was beginning to find himself manifesting a love for her. To do what he was about to do was to bring closure in Eru's favor.

"Hai," said Houtarou. "If I asked you to marry me…would you do it?"

"Ah…Hai?" Eru asked, still uncertain, wondering whether what Houtarou was saying to her was not a dream.

"Eru," Houtarou addressed her, perceiving Eru's uncertainty. "You're probably thinking that all this is a dream. This is real. You've been waiting for an answer in your favor for a long time. Eru?"

Eru broke herself from her trance. "Houtarou-kun, I'm awake! I'm awake!" she frantically exclaimed.

Houtarou breathed a sigh of relief, as Eru composed herself, alert this time for any clear indication of Houtarou either to affirm his love…

…And take her hand in marriage.

"Eru…" Houtarou said, now serious. "Will you marry me?"

Eru took in Houtarou's words. "Yes," she answered, all with a warm smile, all manner of gladness radiating from her. "Yes, of course."

The girl wrapped her arms around Houtarou with a tight embrace. Houtarou became surprised, but this time, he embraced her in return, never holding back.

END OF EPISODE

NOTES:

There are three levels of expressing love: suki, daisuki, and aishiteru.

Daisuki – context of "I am fond of you; I like you, I love you" (in a big way); dai = big; suki = like/love/fond of. Form used in casual expression of love or fondness

Aishiteru – context of "I love you" in a strong way; expression never often used. Said to be an expression of selfless love.

Houtarou-kun, watashi wa anata ga daisuki – Houtarou-kun, I love you (in a big way)

Eru uses this phrase to express how much she loves Houtarou; but she uses Aishiteru, feeling overcome with Houtarou; she expresses to him that her love is more than just mere fondness or infatuation. Houtarou becomes taken aback and afraid.

Vocabulary Translations from the Japanese Language:

Hai - Yes

Iie - No

Ano... - Umm... (Filler Word)