Hyouka – The AfterStory
Project Collaboration by Commander Cody & Maria
EPISODE 14
Valentine's Day…
Houtarou entered into the kitchen. He found Eru downstairs using the sink to fill a cooking pot before opening the refrigerator.
Immediately Eru took notice on him.
"Ano…Houtarou-kun…gomen," she murmured.
Houtarou eyed the table. There was some vegetables and leftover slow-cooked meet. Houtarou figured that perhaps Eru was going to prepare a bento for her husband to take to work. By her words, he knew that Eru was too exhausted to prepare it. And Eru seemed exhausted, like she was never to get any sleep. Houtarou hardly needed to say anything; he saw it himself.
"Aiko -chan kept me awake all night," said Eru drowsily. "I…I…"
"Daijoubou," Houtarou assured his wife. "I can prepare the bento."
Eru made a drowsy nod. "There is some leftover onigiri in the fridge," she told him. "It needs some cooking oil. We…we have leftover meat and yakisoba."
"I…I'll take care of it," said Houtarou. "Oh…and by the way…Happy Valentine's Day."
Eru looked at him as she leaned from the table. She beamed, even in spite of feeling so sleep-deprived; though she made a faint smile. Houtarou gave his wife a kiss before she went back to the bedroom; a token of affection that carried much meaning.
Though his wife was exhausted, but Houtarou was still awake and still in a relatively good mood. He was at least fortunate to get home early and get enough rest.
Houtarou opened the fridge and brought out the onigiri. He brought the cooking all out of the pantry and poured the oil into the frying pan. He let the pan simmer for a little before he dumped the onigiri into the frying pan.
As the onigiri began frying, he sorted the meat and fried noodles in the red plastic container, using the walls as separators.
Meanwhile, Eru was preparing to go back to sleep. However, something woke her. A smell that almost felt like it was coming from something burning. Her sense of smell was quite good.
Eru emerged into the kitchen.
With great urgency she looked into the frying pan. The onigiri had been charred. Houtarou had burned the onigiri.
Poor Eru shook her head in despair. "Houtarou-kun, you were supposed to stir it…"
Houtarou was forced to behold his own handiwork. It was a disaster; he just wasn't…ready to face harsh criticism over what he had done to his own leftover food.
"Gomen…gomen ne…" Houtarou murmured in an apologetic way.
But even his apology could not calm Eru, who at this point was just upset, and even cross with her husband. "It's inedible," she scolded her husband with an angry sigh. "You can't eat this stuff. I have to throw it all way and start over."
Frustrated, Houtarou began to demand: "Eru…just teach me how and when to stir the damn pot…"
"Iie…" Eru snapped. "You're just going to let it become another disaster. You just get ready for work."
Houtarou knew it was fruitless to argue with his wife on this matter, so he resigned to his wife's decisions. He took accusations of incompetence personally. Perhaps more, he felt so bad to see his wife frustrated. Yet there was nothing he could do. Maybe Eru could feel all the more better for doing the cooking herself; and at the same time, he felt bad that he could not help her. Not that he preferred to do the task himself.
Why did he feel that way? Houtarou was perfectly content to let people do work he felt was a waste of energy. But he remembered how Eru told him about bettering himself. And yet…when he tried to do that, he was scolded for attempting to be better. Just what was the problem?
Maybe it was better if he didn't bother to do the cooking at all.
But then perhaps Houtarou realized at this point that he was not himself, and he verbally said it out loud, mostly to himself.
He could hardly brood over this matter. He had to get his briefcase ready, as he would have to leave for Library work soon.
A cry could be heard from the bedroom.
"Aiko-chan's probably hungry again…" Eru murmured.
"I'll bring her," said Houtarou, suddenly forgetting his own sullen behavior he had felt over screwing up the cooking. Eru needed help now, and here was his opportunity; a routine he probably would have to acquaint himself with, if he was going to be the father of his own children.
He went to the bedroom and picked up baby Aiko from the crib, who at this point was letting her wails known throughout the house.
Eru went back to the bedroom, and Houtarou gave baby Aiko to his wife. Having the baby in hand, Eru sat down on her armchair, and gave her breast to the hungry infant.
Babies sure are a lot of work, Houtarou thought to himself. No one could blame him for thinking that; it was his first time.
"Houtarou-kun…I'm so sorry for scolding you…" Eru murmured. "It's just…"
"You were exhausted," Houtarou said simply.
"Hai," Eru agreed.
After even feeling a bit relieved over settling the awful matter, Houtarou, on habit, checked his watch. It was eight in the morning. He had to be at the Kamiyama Library by eight-thirty. "I'm going to be late!" cried Houtarou.
"Oh…"
Houtarou kissed his wife and child before leaving in a hurry. He grabbed his briefcase and his coat and headed out the door.
He got on his bicycle and headed to Kamiyama Library.
Houtarou begins the application for Kobe University's Graduate Program. In his spare time, he decides to resume Kobe University's Graduate application.
Houtarou's phone rang. After some greetings, he knew that Eru was on the phone.
"I have some news," his wife announced. "It's about Maya-chan."
Ibara-san, thought Houtarou. "Good or bad?" he asked.
"Well, it depends," said eru. "Maya-chan was feeling a bit disappointed about the manga industry in Tokyo…where she was working."
"Doushite?" asked Houtarou curiously.
"Maya-chan is a passionate young woman, Houtarou-kun, but her passion for manga only goes so far as she is allowed to come up with her own stories, and nobody demands that she change certain things she wants to keep," Eru elaborated about Mayaka's work situation. "It's frustrating for her. And it doesn't help she gets the same low rate as her co-workers to give her any incentive to put up with having many of her story proposals ignored."
"That sucks," Houtarou remarked in a strong way.
"I know, right?" said Eru. "Anyway, from what Maya-chan told me, she was looking for manga studios to work in at Kamiyama, and she found one. It's not that glamorous, but…"
"Won't Ibara-san end up in roughly the same environment as she did in Tokyo?" asked Houtarou.
"According to what Maya-chan says, that will hardly be the case," said Eru. "The rates are about the same, but she will have the benefit of…more free time. For Maya-chan, the free time will be a boon, because at least she can devote her time to come up with her own manga. Maya-chan tells me that she would eventually like to establish her own manga studio where she can train children how to draw manga."
Houtarou struggled to comprehend Eru's news about Mayaka. "That sounds…interesting," he remarked, albeit a bit cautiously. "I hope she can pull those things off."
"Well…with a little more freedom, she sees her own career path as something she could pursue…with a bit more time," said Eru.
"Demo…why Kamiyama, though?" Houtarou inquired further.
"Maya-chan still misses Kamiyama," Eru answered. "She figures city life is a bit too hectic for her creative mind."
"I guess the mind can only tolerate so much city distraction."
"I guess."
Houtarou looked at his computer, and saw that he still had more to do with his graduate application. "I have to continue on my Kobe application," he told Eru.
"Oh. By all means."
Then, before Houtarou could conclude the conversation, Eru interjected with one more piece of news. "Ano, by the way, Fukube-san is also visiting Kamiyama to visit Maya-chan," she added.
Satoshi…Houtarou thought. "He's taking leave just to visit Ibara-san?" he asked curiously, thinking how unusual it would be for his friend to take time off work just to see Mayaka.
"Maya-chan said she was still coping from overwork," Eru told Houtarou. "The extra time, she says, will help her recover. Ano…I just hope Mayaka will not be discouraged in life. It's not helping her, though, that Fukube-san is not returning her affections, though."
Houtarou heaved a sigh. "Eru…I'm afraid there's only so much that can be done to persuade Satoshi that Ibara-san is still his best girl," he said. "Maybe Satoshi is still trying to…'find himself'; whatever that means."
Evening…
On request from his wife to get more cooking ingredients, Houtarou paid a visit the local grocer's shop.
"Yo, Houtarou!"
Houtarou looks up. Satoshi was in the store, and Houtarou was hardly aware of his friend's presence. Now Houtarou became surprised, as that he had seen his friend.
"Satoshi…what brings you here to Kamiyama City?" Houtarou inquired his friend.
Satoshi, on impulse, began scratching his head. "I needed to check up on Mayaka," he said. "Friend to friend, you see. Mayaka was suffering a bit from overwork."
"And…unrequited feelings, I might add," Houtarou remarked further.
Satoshi made a nervous laugh. "Ano…You could say that," he said with a bit of a stammer.
"It's not karooshi, I hope?" asked Houtarou, afraid that her level of overwork could be severe to the point that her health was in danger of deterioration.
"Well…it's not that severe, from what I am learning from Mayaka," said Satoshi. "Mayaka, for the most part, is fed up and exhausted, and that she needs some down time."
Houtarou heaved a sigh of relief. At the very least, Mayaka would not have to suffer great lengths to recuperate from overwork.
"On another note…you do realize today is Valentine's Day, right?" Houtarou asked his friend. "Have you thought of giving Ibara-san honmei choco?"
"Initially, yes," Satoshi replied. "But I held back. I wasn't sure if…well…I wanted to get serious about this relationship."
"Satoshi, don't tell me you're thinking of just simply sending her giri choco!" said Houtarou, feeling indignant over the way his friend was treating Mayaka. "You're bound to lose Ibara-san…forever!"
"Now, now, Houtarou, don't push me," Satoshi protested, making a nervous gesture of his hands outstretched. "I'm still thinking about it."
"You're going to run out of opportunities soon enough, if you keep procrastinating," Houtarou warned Satoshi. Then Houtarou beheld his basket of items he had not yet paid for. "Hmm…speaking of time…I have to have my purchases rung up by the cashier. My wife is dying to have cooking ingredients."
"Of course," Satoshi agreed, as he neared the door. "I'll catch you later…perhaps." With that, he walked out of the store, his groceries in hand.
Houtarou brought his basket of goods for the cashier to ring up. Eru was right about the reason for Satoshi's visit, thought Houtarou. I hope Satoshi and Ibara-san will resolve their little lovers' spat. Satoshi is willing to take some leave to visit Ibara-san, and at the same time, he is hesitant about taking his relationship with Ibara-san seriously. What the hell is going on? Is Satoshi just so damn indecisive? Did he just want a pretext to visit Ibara-san and toy with her feelings?
All these things will be so damn hard for Ibara-san…
Houtarou paid for the cooking ingredients and other foods in cash. So…Ibara-san is looking into the possibility of setting up a manga studio at Kamiyama, he concluded. Perhaps the Manga Research Society at Kamiyama High must be looking for a manga research advisor.
He stepped outside.
He took sight of Satoshi and Mayaka, and from the looks of it, they seemed to be in the middle of another argument. From what Houtarou could hear and observe, it seemed to be a heated argument, with Satoshi cornered by Mayaka like a defendant on trial put down constantly by a prosecutor.
"You know, Fuku-chan, you think I'm just going to stick around until you make up your mind, but that will not always be the case! You can't just expect me to be there for you whenever you want!"
Satoshi, feeling intimidated, said nothing. Mayaka left the place, huffing.
Houtarou approached his friend. "Satoshi…nande desu ka?" After noting Mayaka's departure, he sighed, displeased over his friend's attitude toward the young woman. "It's about Ibara-san, isn't it? Does it always take another argument to make up your mind when it comes to her?"
Feeling nervous over the question, Satoshi rubbed the back of his neck. "Ah…Houtarou," he said. "I didn't expect to see you again so soon. Anyway…you must have noticed. This has been the third heated argument we had."
Houtarou remembered the arguments Satoshi had with Mayaka at the Chitanda house. "And the one you had with Mayaka when we were at Eru's house…was your second?" asked Houtarou.
Satoshi shrugged his shoulders. "I guess so," he replied.
"You took some leave just to check up on Ibara-san?" asked Houtarou in a curious way.
"More than that," Satoshi pointed out. "Mayaka was telling me she was a bit ill from…overwork."
Damn… thought Houtarou. Satoshi was on his way home. Houtarou tried to keep up with him.
"Satoshi…that place that Ibara-san said had bad memories for her…something happened that involved you being rejected by her. What had gone on between you and her?"
Satoshi tells a story that involved him and Mayaka before they left for university.
Mayaka, dressed in an elegant but modest maid outfit with a headband with frills, was in the middle of her shift at the Golden Time Café, the restaurant she worked in during her university years; a secondary job in the middle of making ends meet as a manga writer's assistant. In the meantime, Satoshi was there at the restaurant and sees some guys hitting on her, trying to get her to go out with them. Satoshi gets angry, grabbed Mayaka's hand.
"You should be more careful around guys," he warned her.
Mayaka pulled her hand away, much to Satoshi's surprise. "I can handle myself," she retorted to him in such a sharp tone, much to Satoshi's astonishment.
"Mayaka?" he asked.
"Don't act like you care," she scolded him. Her voice became cold. "You don't think I can handle a few guys asking me for a date? As I recall, you were in their position not too long ago. And why do you care, anyway!" She says, her voice rising and tears coming to her eyes.
Satoshi became stunned. As he was about to touch her face, she pulled away. Feeling overwhelmed, he kissed her, in his way of showing her finally how he cared about her, if at all. But Mayaka shoved him away.
"It's too late for that, Satoshi," she says. "I'm not there for you whenever you want me."
She goes back inside to the restaurant, and Satoshi stayed outside the window, watching her go back to the cheerful maid, and even making a convincing attempt to smile at the young men, even if she never felt like doing it.
"I had just finished my undergraduate's in business marketing at Keio University," said Satoshi. "I went back to Kamiyama seeking for prospective employment," said Satoshi. "A week later…I encountered her. That's when I emerged back into her life. Later on after that…Mayaka always seemed to develop…"
"Omoide…" Houtarou uttered, finishing for Satoshi. Feelings.
"But she wavered back and forth…as if she wanted to move on, but…for some reason, found it difficult…" Satoshi mentioned.
Mayaka came back to her apartment. After turning on her lights, she went to her room, which combined a living room and a bedroom.
Her shelf held stacks of manga books, often arranged in such untidy ways; Mayaka seemed to have less motivation to arrange her shelf in a neat manner. Her bed was made, but not neatly. All these slovenly habits were originally not part of Mayaka during her high school years.
Her mind drifted to thoughts about Satoshi, after her shift at the Golden Time Café.
"Don't act like you care," she scolded him. Her voice became cold. "You don't think I can handle a few guys asking me for a date? As I recall, you were in their position not too long ago. And why do you care, anyway!" She says, her voice rising and tears coming to her eyes.
Satoshi became stunned. As he was about to touch her face, she pulled away. Feeling overwhelmed, he kissed her, in his way of showing her finally how he cared about her, if at all. But Mayaka shoved him away.
"It's too late for that, Satoshi," she says. "I'm not there for you whenever you want me."
Mayaka had gone back to being the cheerful maid, but deep down, this disposition was only a façade. What she had done that day mostly a way to generate a rude awakening in Satoshi's conscience.
Soon, when her shift was over, Mayaka could feel tears in her eyes. It came to the point that she broke down, crying; wondering whether she really meant what she had said to him.
The Present Time…
Mayaka burst into tears, muffling her sobs with her hands. She had a picture of Satoshi that she was about to cry. She held back, for a moment, but it eventually came to the point where she could hold it back no longer.
At this point, Satoshi has not formally confessed to Mayaka; a bitter realization that made her so frustrated about Satoshi himself. Mayaka thought the tension between her and Satoshi was resolved after Valentine's Day. Or so she thought. And Satoshi's behavior around her was only confirming this possibility more and more.
Satoshi was treating Mayaka merely like a friend. Mayaka was hoping for something more intimate beyond the friendship level. Perhaps Satoshi did not see that Mayaka has this longing. Or maybe he did not want to initiate any kind of relationship. Or maybe he was just too damn afraid. Doesn't he have any guts to confess to me at all? Maybe Mayaka has been focusing too much on Satoshi that she feels a bit…isolated.
The frustration became more compounded by her feeling more overwhelmed with writer's block. Mayaka was in the middle of writing a romance story, and just the very subject was causing Mayaka much heartache. Was it a bad idea to move back to Kamiyama, where she would encounter her most awful memories about her and Satoshi?
She got out her phone. Through tears she dialed a number. But her call was not going to Satoshi.
Instead, her call was going to Eru.
Eru's mother came in with a cordless phone. "Eru-chan," she said. "Someone on the phone. Ibara-san desu."
Eru took the phone. After conveying gratitude to her mother, she put the cordless phone to her ear.
"Maya-chan?" she asked.
"Eru-chan…are you in the mood for talking?" Mayaka asked over the phone.
"Well…I haven't been getting much rest, lately," said Eru. "But other than that…"
"Sou desu ne," Mayaka concluded.
Eru became apprehensive over her friend's circumstance. Mayaka's tone was such that it seemed she was distracted. "Nande desu ka?" she asked. "What can I do for you?"
"Eru-chan…I'm so confused," said Mayaka. "I've been holding onto this hope with Fuku-chan for all these years. Do you think…do you think it's time I…let go?"
Eru pulled back in surprise, and her mouth tightened. "Maya-chan…I think you're just overwhelmed," she said.
"Hai…" Mayaka agreed with an exhausted sigh. "Demo…Fuku-chan still remains on my mind. And…well…I guess I'm suffering from writer's block…a bit. But writing about romance when I myself am experiencing a problem that I see little hope of being resolved…"
"Maya-chan, don't give up just yet," Eru exhorted her friend. "Let me think of a solution first to bring you and Satoshi together."
Houtarou checked on baby Aiko, who was still fast asleep, her tiny mouth open like a yawn as she soundly snored.
Houtarou emerged into the kitchen, where Eru is washing the dishes by hand.
"How's Aiko-chan?" Eru asked.
"Ano…She's all right," said Houtarou simply.
Eru breathed a sigh of relief. "She was quite fussy today, you know," she said.
"I can only imagine," said Houtarou. But deep down, he figured his wife should let him know the hardships of handling baby Aiko. Perhaps Eru needed to say these words for Houtarou to listen; a burden that Eru should not have to carry alone at home.
"There's something I need to tell you," said Eru, as she put a large dish on the side of the sink to dry.
"Is it about Ibara-san?" asked Houtarou, as he dropped a teabag into a mug of hot water.
"Hai," said Eru.
"Hmm," Houtarou mused. "Come to think of it, you told me Ibara-san is now residing at Kamiyama City. As for Satoshi…"
"There's more to their situation," said Eru. "From what Maya-chan tells me, Fukube-san has not formally confessed to her. And…it seems that Fukube-san is sending signals to her that says he is interested…when he is saying otherwise."
Houtarou heaved a sigh, after taking a sip of tea. "That's…problematic," he said.
Suddenly, Eru became animated with much worry. "It is!" she cried. "Maya-chan can't take it anymore! She is on the verge of letting Fukube-san go."
I figured there was something strange about Satoshi when I saw him at the grocer's shop, thought Houtarou.
"Maya-chan is upset," said a worried Eru, using kanashi, a word denoting profound grief.
"Ibara-san?" asked Houtarou curiously.
"She asked me if she should…let go of Fukube-san. But from what it sounds like…she's trying to do that…already."
Houtarou heaved a sigh. He hated the idea of Satoshi being wishy-washy about Mayaka's desire for his intimate company. But as far as he was concerned, the ball was, metaphorically, in Satoshi's court. Only Satoshi could change his own mind. If Houtarou ever brought up the question, Satoshi would try to dodge around it. He remembered how evasive Satoshi had gotten when Houtarou had noticed him arguing with Mayaka.
"Houtarou-kun…if you can…convince Satoshi to change his mind," Eru exhorted her husband. "Don't…don't let him lose her; losing a girl…like Maya-chan…would be one of the biggest mistakes of his life. And it would…it would make her upset, too!"
Houtarou, at this point, became stoned. He remembered what Satoshi had said to him about his obsession to not become obsessed about anything, Mayaka included. All in the course of one Valentine's Day during their high school years; that day when Satoshi broke the chocolate heart that Mayaka had worked so hard to prepare for him. The only thing that prevented Houtarou from giving his friend a well-deserved decking was his complicated situation: an obsession with avoiding anything that could stir up an obsession in Satoshi.
"Houtarou-kun…you're pensive again," Eru cried.
"Oh…" Houtarou's eyes drifted back to his wife. "Something Satoshi said about…being obsessed…"
"He…he bring himself to tell Maya-chan?" asked Eru, stunned. "On account of…obsession?"
"He's afraid he might be obsessed with her," said Houtarou.
Eru felt the throes of despair gripping her. "How…how can that be? Fukube-san's condition can't be this bad." Something made her more determined. "He's making excuses. I just know it."
"Eru," Houtarou tried to calm his agitated wife. "Satoshi's obsession could be serious. I'm not sure if…"
"You have to try!" cried Eru. "Tell Fukube-san to come back to his senses and take Maya-chan's hand!"
"Eru…" said Houtarou. "I…I have no guarantees…"
"I insist!" cried Eru. This time, her foot was down. "At least try. If not…oh…poor Maya-chan…if such a reunion is impossible…at least Maya-chan will have closure beyond all doubt…and so will I."
She looked down, thinking of what to say. Houtarou had to do it for Eru's sake, since Mayaka is Eru's friend, and for Satoshi's sake. It was high time they brought this lingering matter to a final close, with the hope that affairs will turn in Mayaka's favor.
She faced her husband again. "Onegai desu," she said, as she exhorted him to do his best. "Ganbatte ne…Houtarou-kun."
Evening…
Houtarou biked the rest of the way to Satoshi's apartment. Thoughts over the Valentine's Day exchange still lingered in Houtarou's mind. Back when Satoshi was just a young lad, he became obsessed over winning; an obsession that sent him into a rage whenever he lost over a game. Satoshi tried to avoid this obsession again, and in doing so, he lived a relatively happy life.
But when Mayaka entered his life, Satoshi was unsure about his ability to reign in his obsession over the young girl. The culmination of his attempt to avoid obsession came when he pretended that the chocolate hear that Mayaka gave him was stolen. Stolen…by who? Why, Satoshi, of course. But it was worse. He broke the chocolate heart; a downright inconsiderate deed that would break Mayaka's poor heart.
Seven Years Ago, one snowy Valentine's Day…
Standing over the bridge crossing a river, Houtarou was about to give Satoshi a well-deserved decking, for the sake of Eru and Mayaka. But he held back. He figured there was more to Satoshi's story about the broken honmei chocolate that Mayaka had made, exclusively for Satoshi, so he gave his friend a chance to explain his reasons, which, of course, Satoshi began, after exhaling warm air out of his body.
"Houtarou, do you think I'm the obsessive type?" Satoshi asked his friend.
"I would call you a hobbyist," Houtarou said in a presumptive manner.
"That's not quite right," said Satoshi, correcting his friend. "A hobbyist devotes himself to one specific area with the intent of being better than anyone else."
"And you're different?" asked Houtarou.
"Yeah," said Satoshi, looking over the bridge. "I won't ever be the best at anything. Or rather, you might say…I've stopped trying to be."
Satoshi elaborated about his behavior in the arcade games as he made a snowball out of the accumulated snow over the bridge's rails. If he lost a game, he vented out his frustration. Conscious that his behavior would become a problem as he grew older, Satoshi stopped his obsession over being the best at winning a game.
But it was worse; Satoshi would stop trying to be the best in anything at all.
Pushing his snowball over the rails and watching it splash into the icy-cold water, Satoshi brought up his own disturbing revelation about his obsessive habits and his struggle to keep them under control.
"I became obsessed with not being obsessed about anything," Satoshi concluded. "And since then, my life has been really enjoyable. Every day is a happy day," he finished, spreading out his arms.
"But there was one problem," he continued. "Mayaka. She is a great girl, really. There is no one else like her. For her to love me is like a dream come true."
"Then…" a stoned Houtarou was about to interject when Satoshi interrupted him.
"However," Satoshi continued, "Can I really let myself get obsessed with her? I want to be with Mayaka, no question about it. But I do not want to obsess over her." He mused for a bit. "I guess I am just being selfish. I am not even thinking about how she feels. So egotistical…right? It's not like I want to make light of her feelings." He hung his head in despondency. "But if I leave my comfort bubble and accept Mayaka, I might go back to the way I used to be. And that scares me."
"That's why you did not accept it?" asked Houtarou, referring to Mayaka's Valentine's Day gift of the honmei chocolate to Satoshi; an implicit request for a Valentine's Day answer to be expected from Satoshi himself.
"Yes," said Satoshi. "And so, we reach today. I still haven't found my answer. I could not think of any other way to not accept the chocolate that I could not accept.
The memory still lingered in Houtarou's mind; and even then, at that time, the question of Satoshi accepting Mayaka was left unresolved. How could something appearing so trivial carry so much disturbing backstory over a hesitancy to give words of acceptance to a girl longing to be together with a boy? The whole thing seemed strange, and perhaps absurd to Houtarou's mind. Inside that honmei chocolate heart was Mayaka's implicit request for a response from Satoshi, which, of course, Satoshi never gave.
But Satoshi had seen Mayaka together, and, to all appearances, the two seemed to resolve their own little problem.
Or was the problem really resolved? Appearances could be deceptive, he figured. If that was the case, why was Satoshi getting into arguments with Mayaka? Why was Satoshi doing things that were hurting Mayaka's feelings?
Maybe Satoshi let his fear of obsession grip his mind…again.
Damn you, Satoshi, he thought in frustration, a frown manifesting in his face. What the hell is wrong with you now?
Houtarou had to stop and consider the ethics of what he was doing. If Satoshi's obsessive behavior went too far beyond control, he could not encourage him to seek a reunion with Mayaka. That being said, he would not hesitate to give his wife the news of an unsuccessful attempt, even if the news would make his wife upset for Mayaka's sake.
He stopped by Satoshi's house, in another suburban area of Kamiyama City.
He knocked on the door.
Satoshi opened the door. "Ah, Houtarou," he greeted his friend. He made way, and Houtarou, taking it as a cue that he was invited into his friend's house, stepped inside.
Satoshi's apartment was relatively modest, almost resembling the size of Houtarou's former apartment; the one that his sister still maintained residence. The middle part of the living room remained uncluttered. There was a kotatsu that resembled a small coffee table.
"It takes a little getting used to," Satoshi remarked. "My apartment in downtown Tokyo is a little more…expansive. And a little…sophisticated. Usually I have a square table in the kitchen."
To Houtarou, it seemed that Satoshi was becoming more acquainted with Western ways.
"It is quite spacious…I think," said Houtarou, trying to compliment his friend, it seemed, for taking the trouble to at least visit Mayaka. "It will be fine."
Satoshi proceeded to make some tea for Houtarou.
"Satoshi…I'm going to be frank with you," said Houtarou, after settling down on the dinner table. "From one friend to another. Are you fond of Ibara-san…in a big way?"
"Fond of?" asked Satoshi. Houtarou had used the word daisuki; a word conveying a sense of great fondness for someone else. "Why, yes," he answered.
"What about in a romantic way?" asked Houtarou.
"You mean with koi?" asked Satoshi. "Maybe…I guess…"
"Satoshi…" Houtarou was serious this time. "With Ibara-san, koi desu. With Ibara-san, she's trying to tell you, Koishiteru."
In that instance, Satoshi became more attentive. From what Houtarou was telling him, Mayaka was seeing her relationship with Satoshi as one involving a longing for intimate companionship.
"Houtarou…I think I have an idea where this conversation is going. But aren't you being a little too direct with me? You seem to take for a clueless idiot."
"I have little choice, Satoshi. If I was never direct with you, you would always keep Ibara-san guessing."
"Well," said a nervous Satoshi, scratching the back of his head. "I was never exactly sure if…"
"Satoshi. You've been playing with her feelings for a long time. It has to stop," Houtarou admonished him. "Make up your mind to tell her whether you want to propose to her…or…"
"Or what, Houtarou?" Satoshi asked.
It was not a challenge, but rather a curious question of what Houtarou was trying to finish. Houtarou found the last clause difficult, because Eru was hoping he could resolve affairs in Mayaka's favor. But he told Eru he could make no guarantees.
"Or tell her you don't want to spend the rest of your life with her," said Houtarou, his voice rising. "But make up your damn mind!"
"You're right, Houtarou," Satoshi seemed to agree with his friend. "I was wavering. I guess I could tell her I just want to be her friend…and leave it at that…"
Satoshi's face reflected a foreboding of regret; a feeling that had been interrupted when he noticed the tea was done. He poured some tea for himself and for his friend, and set the mugs on the coffee table.
"But deep down, you want to be with her," Houtarou told him, as he took his mug of tea. These words made it seem that he was manipulating his friend.
"Hai…I think I may have told you before…a long time ago…but spending the rest of my life with Mayaka…would be a dream come true," said Satoshi.
"Satoshi, face the reality in front of you," Houtarou admonished his friend. "You have a young woman like Ibara-san who is devoted to you. It would be a great mistake in your life if you lost her…forever…because you were too stupid to see what her actions were telling you. You keep treating her like a shoujo in high school who is constantly anxious over whether you will return her affections, but keep her guessing all the time, making promises or guarantees of suki or koi but never keeping your damn word!"
Satoshi remained silent. The bitter realization of his actions to Mayaka were arising in his memory, rearing its ugly head. Against such accusations he could make no reply or retort to Houtarou.
"If you lose Ibara-san…you will regret it for the rest of your life," Houtarou warned his wavering friend in a forceful way. "A regret…that you can never bury even with your own smiling face of optimism."
Satoshi's smile was a mask behind his endeavors at avoiding an obsession with anything. He would be a tortured man visited by the lingering possibility that he would fall back on an obsession with, well, just about anything.
"I wonder if that was what went on when you were away on your business trip," Houtarou wondered aloud. His words were deliberate; said aloud to get Satoshi thinking; to wake him up from his complacency over the sorry state of his relationship with Mayaka.
And Houtarou even remembered what his wife told him about Mayaka being upset.
Satoshi brought himself to the past several months before Mayaka joined Houtarou and Eru at Zaizen Village.
"I was conflicted," said Satoshi. "Mayaka was looking forward to visiting Zaizen Village during your honeymoon. I…I could not bring myself to tell her…the disappointing news.
"I thought Mayaka was fine about it; but thinking about it, I think she felt…disappointed," Satoshi admitted, feeling guilty over what he did to her. "There was little I could do, though."
"'Disappointed' would be an understatement for what Mayaka feels," said Houtarou.
Re-negotiating a business schedule would have been more than just a mere hassle; even such an attempt would have been difficult for Satoshi. For him, this business trip must have been a very important one. But For him, this "three-day excursion" was his way of suppressing his worries about what he was doing to Mayaka, because he had a desire to spend the rest of his life with her, but also his fear of becoming too obsessed with her, which seemed to be his lifelong fear.
"And as for the Golden Time Café," said Houtarou. "The place where Ibara-san rejected you."
"Where are we going?" asked Mayaka.
"To the Golden Time Café," said Satoshi.
Mayaka made a face. "That one?" she asked.
"What's wrong?" asked Houtarou.
"It has bad memories for Ibara-san," said Satoshi. "I was rejected by her."
Out of curiousity, Houtarou noted how Satoshi said the last part in the passive voice; a reflection of wavering confidence in his admittance of a rejection from Mayaka.
"You sure seem proud about that," said Mayaka.
"I get over it sometimes," said Satoshi. It seemed like a tactless remark, especially in front of Mayaka. But when Houtarou observed his face, it regressed to a sigh of despair.
Satoshi felt he had taken a bitter trip down memory lane. The time when Mayaka scolded him, it was coming back to him, it seemed.
"Satoshi…Ibara-san just wants closure," said Houtarou. "When the young ladies never have any kind of closure…they will constantly keep guessing…and perhaps jump to conclusions that you may never intend just so that they can relieve themselves of this torture. Ibara-san is on the verge of giving up on you."
Satoshi took a deep breath, having been sobered by his friend's words. "You seem to have a keen insight into a woman's mind," he remarked.
"I had to learn it…the hard way," said Houtarou, remembering how he reacted against Eru's confession of love, and how he had to smooth over Eru's anxiety, by affirming what he felt, deep inside, in spite of his fear of giving up his grey life in exchange for a rose-colored life of optimism that Eru was pushing upon him.
"And in the end…you're left with two choices: take the initiative…or let it slip past your fingers," Houtaoru finished.
"What was it generally like for you, Houtarou, when you decided to propose to your future wife?" asked Satoshi.
Houtarou's mind went back to the day he proposed to Eru. A day that many would remember as one filled with beautiful memories was, for Houtarou, one that was filled with tension and uncertainty. In his choice to take Eru as his wife he had to leave behind one life, the gray life, and enter into another life: one filled with many family responsibilities to come, but one that would result in greater fulfillment beyond what he would imagine if simply remained the way he was. Perhaps if he said "No" to Eru, he would regret his decision, too.
"For me, it was a personal battle…when it came to choosing between living alone…and living with Eru," said Houtarou.
"And…that led to your decision?" asked Satoshi.
Houtarou beheld his wedding band, remembering the feeling of uncertainty and yet genuine love he felt for Eru when he had to decide whether to affirm or deny his affections for her.
"I loved her," Houtarou said. "So much that it would have been painful never to fulfill her greatest longing".
"Demo…Was it not out of duty?" asked Satoshi.
"In part," said Houtarou. "But when you love someone…so much…"
He remembered the times when he had to overcome his own reservations and emerge from the shell that he had made around himself; the time when Eru became deathly ill that he feared he would lose her.
"What about you, Satoshi?" he asked.
"I do love her," said Satoshi, straightforward as he could be, using the word koi. "But I'm afraid…"
"You'll be obsessed with her?"
Satoshi nodded.
"Ibara-san is independently-minded," said Houtarou. "Not some bishoujo under an otaku's control. If obsession is your concern…"
Satoshi shook his head. Now he was being reminded of the obsession he tried to avoid.
"Then look at her as a human being!" Houtarou finished.
"I do!" Satoshi protested. "Demo…it may hardly work…"
"She will know where to draw the line," said Houtarou. "If you find yourself in that circumstance…she will tell you. But Satoshi…she'll do even more than that."
"What's that?" asked Satoshi.
"Ibara-san will help you become a better person," Houtarou said.
"A better person," Satoshi repeated thoughtfully.
"Why not give her a chance to change your life?" asked Houtarou.
"Now, Houtarou, your exhortation becomes questionable in that regard," Satoshi warned his friend with the wagging of his finger. "Any woman who entered into a relationship…married relationship with a man of questionable character would end up suffering the most because either the man remains obstinate in his ways…or the man has an addiction he feels he cannot overcome."
Houtarou thought his friend was trying to pit him in an intellectual sparring contest. But if that was the case for Satoshi, then Satoshi would have to keep away from Mayaka, for her own good. "Then it's your loss," he said simply.
"Houtarou, I was genuinely trying to get an answer from you," protested Satoshi. "I'm lost here, you know."
For Houtarou, it seemed that he was facing a man who could hardly understand what he was going through. Satoshi's case of obsession seemed to be one where he thought he could not be the best at anything, so he stopped trying to be the best at something.
But if that was the case, how did he manage to thrive quite well at University at all?
"You know, Satoshi, you managed to get through University with your bachelors' and your masters'," said Houtarou. "You can't possibly tell me you were completely unmotivated to do your best."
"For study, I was. Keio University was pretty demanding, you know. It's a prestigious international school in Tokyo City. I had to be obsessed with doing well; otherwise, I would have flunked."
"Sou desu ne," said Houtarou. "But you're afraid you'll become even more obsessed with Ibara-san if you interact with her too much?"
Satoshi scratched his head, feeling nervous. "It seems…" he said.
By the tone of Satoshi's words, it seemed there was a part left unsaid. That sentence sounds incomplete, thought Houtarou. He must mean to say something, but never wanted to say it at all.
Houtarou, however, still had another card up his sleeve. I'll prod him more.
"Let me ask you an honest question, then," said Houtarou. "Do you desire the best for her?"
"Hai," said Satoshi. "But even that question could be resolved with simply refusing her affections…if my obsession became a serious problem."
"How serious is your obsession then?" asked Houtarou. If it was so serious, he could not, in his conscience, compromise Mayaka's well-being by pushing Satoshi to seek a relationship with her.
"With me…it's mainly a matter of self-control," said Satoshi.
"What happens if you're obsessive with her?" asked Houtarou. It was more of a sincere attempt to find out what Satoshi would do if Mayaka were around.
"I…well…just like Mayaka…I would become clingy around her," said Satoshi. "I would end up wanting her…whenever I wanted it."
Houtarou heaved a sigh. Somehow he would have to figure out how to change Satoshi's obsession of the self to one that put first the well-being of those he loved. But he had to do it without having Satoshi reject her.
"You would know Ibara-san," said Houtarou. "If she has to change you…she will do it. But if you really want her…then it's up to you to change."
Houtarou came close to his friend, and looked him in the eye. "It's not too late, you know…Satoshi. If there was one thing, one thing in this world where you have to be the best, it is in your relationship with Ibara-san. That's the thing, Satoshi. Invest in your relationship with her. Work on your relationship with Ibara-san, Satoshi. I promise you…when you do invest in your relationship with her, your relationship will grow and flourish."
Satoshi took a deep breath. The conviction within Houtarou was overwhelming, and unexpected. "Your confidence in me is overwhelming," said Satoshi.
"It is what I have to do in the family that I have now," said Houtarou.
Strong, confident words, thought Satoshi. I wish I could believe them. But I have to believe them. And live by that advice.
Satoshi could not beat around the bush with Houtarou's exhortations to better himself. Houtarou seemed to notice a semblance in his friend a sense of attachment to one's old ways. Like Houtarou, Satoshi felt it would be difficult to change his ways. But Satoshi had to turn over a new leaf. If he did not turn over a new leaf, he would be faced with great regret from his actions.
But something seemed to hold Satoshi back. "I may need some time to sleep on it," he said.
"Hardly," said Houtarou."Time is of the essence. Ibara-san is on the verge of giving up on you."
"Houtarou…you can't put that kind of pressure on me," Satoshi protested. "Would you have liked it if the same was done to you?"
Houtarou considers Satoshi's words. Yes, he did need another day to think about his proposal to Eru. Why not extend Satoshi the same courtesy? Unless Ibara-san was one young woman who could never get over Satoshi completely.
"Your situation is different, Satoshi," said Houtarou. "You regard spending the rest of your life with Ibara-san as your dream. She still wants you…but there will be a time when she will have to move on. Do you really think Ibara-san will stick around forever, hoping you'll eventually propose to her?"
Satoshi said nothing.
"Why not take advantage of the opportunity while it's still there?" asked Houtarou, trying to appeal to his deep desire.
"That does not sound like the Houtarou I used to listen to," said Satoshi with a laugh. But even with his laugh, Houtarou could almost perceive as a mask to hide whatever fears or hesitancies he had.
"The Houtarou standing in front of you hasn't changed much," said Houtarou. "Satoshi…it's up to you to take the initiative," said Houtarou. "You know women here; if they have to do it themselves, it makes them seem clingy in the eyes of many…in a terribly un-ladylike way."
Satoshi heaved a sigh. Before him lay the possibility of Mayaka breaking up with him. He would have to make amends, for what seemed to be almost the second significant time since he last called her after breaking her gift of a St. Valentine's chocolate heart; a circumstance reminiscent of Mayaka's heart on the verge of breaking.
"Would you be able to accompany me?" he pleaded with him.
Houtarou raced his brows. It seemed like a strange request to his friend. It sounded as if Satoshi could hardly face Mayaka alone.
"You were insistent on me proposing to Mayaka," said Satoshi. "You owe me a favor, after all."
I don't, thought Houtarou. All this is for your benefit. Still, he figured it was the least he could do for his friend. If granting this small favor to Satoshi would help in reuniting him with Mayaka, then he would take the time and trouble.
Houtarou and Satoshi had arrived at Mayaka's apartment by bicycle.
"Satoshi…a thought came to me," said Houtarou. "Do you remember what I told you about Ibara-san's work on a romance?"
"Hmm…I remember you did," Satoshi answered thoughtfully. "It has been quite a while since you last told me about Mayaka's romantic work…ah, I remember now. You told me before…about how a girl falls in love with a boy…but a boy is too wishy washy…"
"And that the girl's situation paralleled Ibara-san's situation," Houtarou added.
"Hai…now I remember," said Satoshi. "Fascinating…isn't it? I wonder how it will end…"
"Hopefully in the same way that you and Ibara-san are reunited with each other, fully reconciled," said Houtarou in a wistful way. "Ibara-san should not face that much unhappiness in her life."
The two men had reached Mayaka's apartment, which stood at the second floor, so the two men had to climb a flight of stairs. Upon reaching the right address that Eru gave to him, Houtarou stayed from a distance while Satoshi knocked on the door.
After a series of knockings, Mayaka opened the door.
"Mayaka," said Satoshi. "I'm going to be straightforward here. You've already made it pretty obvious you loved me since…well…high school…and probably earlier. I didn't tell you this before…because I didn't know how to deal with it, but I feel the same way."
Mayaka felt through with Satoshi, or at least, after having to go through many periods of his perceived indecisiveness, she was unwilling to deal with the dilemma anymore. She almost closed the door on him, but the young man pushed it open, holding it in one last desperate effort to win back the young woman he was on the verge of losing.
"What I'm trying to say is…I'm trying to ask you to marry me!" he cried.
There. Finally. He had spat out the whole thing. Houtarou heaved a sigh; though deep down, he was at least relieved that Satoshi had finally, just finally admitted that he loved her, and wanted to marry her.
Mayaka became very stunned. Suddenly Satoshi was being forthright with her; far from being the indecisive young man he was, at least when it came to his decision to marry her, much less press on with even an engagement. But stunned reactions gave way to disbelief. It seemed too good to be true.
"W-What?" she stammered. "Don't play around! This has gone too far!" she bit her lip, holding back tears.
"I'm serious!" He said, straining at the door. "Will you marry me?" he repeated.
"F-Fuku-chan…" a stunned Mayaka said. "You….seriously?"
"That's what I just said," he let go on the door, looking deeply and apologetically. "Ever since we were in school…you were always the one girl I could think about."
Mayaka looked at him for a long time, her eyes still glassy and wide. "F-F-Fuku-chan…" she fell into his arms. "You're such an idiot, sometimes; you know that?"
"Databases don't have brains," Satoshi was keen to say his catchphrase so casually.
Outstretching their arms, in total surrender of self-gift, Satoshi and Mayaka wrapped themselves in each other's arms, as tight as they possibly could, embracing each other as they had never embraced before. Mayaka's long period of uncertainty was over now, and her longing for love finally met. Unable to handle the intensity of such joy in her finally resolved union, she burst into tears, letting out her tearful sobbing.
Watching Mayaka's tearful reunion, Houtarou had every inclination to regard the young woman as a child, if it were not for his consideration that poor Mayaka had lived in great uncertainty around Satoshi's wavering behavior for far too long.
Mayaka noticed Houtarou standing from the distance. "You were watching that?" she asked him, as she wiped her eyes. "I suppose you're the one that convinced him." she said, looking at him skeptically, but then her face softened.
"You all had better come in," said Mayaka, not sure what to do and still shaky with emotion.
"Ano…I would like to…Demo…" said Houtarou. His reply was an indirect refusal; he knew that the best thing was to leave the two to sort out themselves and their love. "Eru is waiting for me at home."
Houtarou walked back the rest of the way to the Chitanda house. Mission accomplished. For Satoshi, Houtarou had forced his friend to make a decision. No longer would Satoshi dance around his decision to take Mayaka's hand in marriage.
"Well…how did it go?" asked Eru, anxious over the outcome of her husband's endeavors.
"I did it," he said simply. "I had finally convinced Satoshi to let go of his indecisiveness and…take a leap of faith."
Eru smiled. It was a smile indicative of someone who seemed to have undergone a change of heart. "That hardly sounds like you," she said, out of mischief. Usually Houtarou had been used to a frequent rationalistic overemphasis of reason and logic, to the point where he suffered an inability to exercise his emotions the way Eru would.
"I had to do the same thing, you know," said Houtarou.
"Hai," Eru agreed. "But you noticed that Fukube-san's case was different. Mayaka had been complaining about her boyfriend's wavering."
A warm feeling of relief came to Eru. The long tension between Satoshi and Mayaka was now resolved…at last. Eru wrapped Houtarou in her tight embrace; an embrace that felt like a mother's embrace, relieved at last, in profound gratitude, and they cradle Aiko between them.
"Houtarou-kun…arigatou," Eru said to him in gratitude. "I hope they can be happy as we are." She says.
Houtarou heaved a sigh. "I just hope Satoshi and Ibara-san don't run into that same problem again," he could only say.
As Houtarou embraced his wife and child and runs his hand through her hair, he actually agrees with her. He would not desire a rose-colored life for anyone if that person never wanted for such a life for want of energy conservation, but he thought in that moment as he and his wife stood together in their home, he figured that what he had was so wonderful, so wonderful that all the energy conservation could not make up for that joyful moment on earth.
END OF EPISODE
Vocabulary Translations from the Japanese Language:
Hai - Yes
Iie - No
Ano... - Umm... (Filler Word)
Yakisoba – fried noodles
Nande desu ka? – What is (this) up?
Onegai desu – It is my wish
Ganbatte ne…Houtarou-kun – Do your best…Houtarou-kun (informal version of ganbatte)
(Japanese society is largely community-oriented, I think. A person would care about his or her community to do one's best for that community.)
Koi desu. – It is love. (Romantic love)
Koishiteru – I love you. (In a romantic way)
Shoujo – a young woman, usually younger than 18 years of age
Bishoujo – a young woman, usually in her early teen years, about 14 years of age