A/N: This takes place in season 24, between episode 6 and 9, before the wedding.
Amanda Rollins looked at the pregnancy test in her hand. Negative. Negative is good. Negative is probably the best outcome. But why does she feel so bad?
She walked out of the bathroom, maintaining a neutral expression, prepared to deliver the news to her boyfriend. He had been pacing the room, waiting for her to come out with the result. He didn't want to interrupt or bother her with his anxiety, even though ten minutes had passed since she took the test. As he saw her emerge, Carisi stopped abruptly and waited for her to speak first. He maintained the composure he had learned in the courtroom, although he was dying to take the test that her fingers held loosely.
"Negative," she said, immediately turning back to throw the test in the trash. She washed her hands and walked out again. Carisi remained in the same spot.
"Good. That's fine" he approached to kiss her forehead and gently embrace her. "Right? Are you okay?"
"I am," she paused. "Yes. No. I just... it was just an irrational suspicion, really."
Both sat on the bed, still in each other's arms.
"You've been through a lot these past few weeks -between your new job offer and this case. It's normal for stress to affect your cycle. It was a legitimate doubt, we've ruled it out. Okay?"
Sonny tried to be rational and convey some reassurance. Though a hint of sadness over the results invaded his inner self, he refused to let his mind dwell on that feeling. He knew Amanda wasn't in the best place for a child right now; he had to focus on that, on her.
"I feel so stupid. I'm just all over the place. Look how I scared the girls by coming in that way that night. Imagine if we added another child to the equation. I would be a walking disaster. This is for the best."
She gave her speech with a confident voice, but a tear betrayed her of certainty.
"Are those tears of relief, then?" he asked.
"It's for the best, right? Are you relieved? I mean, you must be. No one would want to bring a child into the world with a mother who's at her worst."
He didn't answer immedately.
"I... I... I just want to see you well, the girls to be well, I don't need anything else. Now, if that test had turned out differently, I couldn't be happier because I would have it with the woman I love the most in the world and the best mother I could wish for. I was ready, I am ready for whatever comes ."
"I was ready too. I know it may not seem like it, I know it's not the best time, but I would have been ready, you know?"
"Of course, I know. Amanda, you gave birth to two beautiful girls on your own and raised them so well. Don't you dare think you're a bad mother just because you're facing a tough situation. Got it?"
"I didn't raise them alone, I always had you."
"You'll always have me," Carisi kissed her sweetly on the lips, but she deepened the kiss until they both ended up lying on the bed, with her on top.
"Wait," he broke the kiss and looked into her eyes. "Did we just agree... did you just say you want to have another child... with me? Because if I completely misunderstood, that's okay, I just want to know if we're on the same page."
"I think so. Yes. Unless you..."
"Yes," Carisi interrupted, unable to hide the excitement in his voice. "Yes," he placed another kiss on the lips of the woman he loved and then another, and another.
Amanda and Sonny continued kissing, their lips meeting again and again. They lost themselves in each other under the sheets. Amanda forgot all her doubts; her long-contained anguish for so long seemed to diminish in the face of the possibility of a future with this man. His heart glowed with hope and happiness. Everything he ever wanted, what he always dreamed of—a family, her—something that seemed unattainable now lay in his hands. Both of them knew that their paths could be interrupted by problems, doubts, and pain, but as long as they had each other, there would always be a reason to hold onto hope.
If you catch some grammar mistakes, please tell me. I tried my best in the translation.
I'm thinking about writting some others one-shots based on season 24 so if you have any special request you know what to do.
I hope you liked it and please RR!