EPOV
"Somehow you have this perception in your mind that I was crazily in love with her, and it was some epic sort of love! It was not!" I said.
I decided to talk to her in the afternoon.
Even if I had told her the same thing a hundred times already, I was going to try one more time.
I was going to try everything I could.
"I was over her soon after I broke up with her. I honestly didn't care. Maybe I didn't love her enough. Or maybe what I thought to be love wasn't really love!"
"I'm really not interested in hearing this..." she said.
"You need to hear me. Please!" I said. "Please give me one final chance to explain everything even if I have already told you this before."
"Alright, go ahead, and get it done." She folded her arms across her chest.
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.
"I don't have a single memory from my relationship with her right now. And not a single memory or feeling had resurfaced when I saw her at James' party. She just didn't matter to me!" I said.
"She didn't matter to you, and yet you didn't talk to Esme because of that for months! 'Didn't care'? Yeah, right!" She rolled her eyes.
"Because what Mom did was absurd. Don't you think that?" I said, "I'd have done the same thing if she had done that kind of blackmailing to any of my friends... or even to a stranger for that matter. I swear, I would have reacted the same way. You should know that about me by now!"
She didn't say anything, so I proceeded.
"So... I saw her being lost near the elevator and I was just trying to help her to get to her room, and then she started crying after we reached her room... She kissed me..."
I saw her expressions changing immediately as I mentioned that. I knew this was going to hurt her, but she needed to hear it!
"I don't want to hear that." she said.
"You need to hear it, please!" I said, "I stopped her. Then she started crying harder about how life had been unfair to her. She was going through a divorce at that time. She had an abusive husband..."
"And that melted your heart," she said.
"No!" I said, "I wanted to leave her room, but I thought I should wait till she stopped crying. I thought it'd be an asshole move to leave when she was crying like that... So I waited there, and she kept talking about her life... And then I don't remember anything! I remember she had tried to come closer to me, but I had stopped her. I remember I had pushed her away, but... I don't remember anything else... When I woke up, I was naked in the bed and..."
"Just stop it." she shouted and closed her eyes.
"Bella... I know I've hurt you... But how can I explain to you that you're the only woman I have loved ever since you entered my life. You're the only woman who matters to me. Whatever happened that night... It was just physical... I..."
"Physical cheating is still cheating." she said.
"I know that... I didn't mean it that way. What I meant was..."
"Are you done?" she asked. Her eyes were stone cold. It's like nothing was going to make her change her mind.
"Bella, please..." I said, "They will... They will hate me."
I felt like crying.
I had cried seven years ago when I had begged her to stay.
I was feeling the same way today.
It was too real.
She was going to leave me.
And I wouldn't be able to stop her this time.
"Every action has consequences. You should have thought about them before... ummm... making love to your... ex-fiancee." she said.
Ex-fiancee and making love!
It's like my words didn't matter at all! Nothing was ever going to change her perception!
"We are going to tell them once we reach back home. I'm not going to change my mind this time." she said.