EPOV
"I just got to know about what Mom did... And I'm really sorry!" I said to Angela on the call, "I'm extremely ashamed of what she did."
"That's... That's okay," she said.
I sighed.
"How is your Mom doing now?" I asked.
"Not good." she said.
I was feeling really extremely bad right now.
How could Mom be so heartless?
How could she take advantage of someone like this?
"Umm... Let me know if you need any kind of help." I said.
I wanted to do something to make up for what she did.
"No... It's... Your Mom's money is already a lot of help to us..." she said.
I wanted to punch something!
Mom was just... horrible!
I was ashamed to call her my mother.
"But I'll let you know if I need any help. Thank you." she said.
"Once again, I'm extremely sorry..." I said, "I'd be happy if I could be of any help to your Mom."
Then we talked for about ten minutes talking about her Mom's condition.
"Ummm... Edward?" She said when I was about to hang up, "Congratulations on your engagement."
"Thanks." I said.
"I'm sorry about last night." Angela said to me.
She was just wearing her... t-shirt!
"It shouldn't have happened, but... I was really feeling lonely, and I... I'm sorry!" she said.
What?
My head was spinning!
Did I have drunken sex?
I thought I had tried to stop her?
But I wasn't actually able to stop myself?
I couldn't recall anything!
How could I do that?
How would I face Bella?
How would I face myself?
No!
No!
No!
"Edward... It's just we had an unfinished business... and... The old memories..."
Unfinished business?
"No... No... It was nothing like that... I don't know how that happened... But we don't have any unfinished business!"I said.
"Edward..." She had tears in her eyes.
"This... was a mistake! I love my wife! This shouldn't have happened... I don't know why I even came to this room last night... I don't know why didn't I just left..." I said.
"Edward... But we would have been together if..."
"Angela... Look! I know you're going through a rough patch... But... No! We don't have any fucking unfinished business! Is that clear?" I said.
"You're late." Bella said as she shook her head, "She was really upset not to have you here."
I was late for Carlie's football match. I was already feeling bad, and she wasn't making it any better.
"Bella... Something really critical came up and I couldn't leave the meeting, and I didn't realize the traffic would be so bad!" I said, "I'm sorry! I didn't do it on purpose."
"God! I don't even know why I am stuck in this marriage. I honestly thought you're a good Dad... But no! You're neither a good husband nor a good father!"
Really?
Did she really want to go there right now?
"Bella... I didn't do this on purpose. And I will be careful next time." I said, "I'm really sorry!"
"Sure... You and your apologies!" She rolled her eyes, "Let's just focus on the match for now..."
"I don't want to continue this counseling," Bella said to me after the first session, "It is just bullshit."
"I know it's bullshit... But you said it might help and that's why we decided to give it to a try, right?" I said, "Do you want to try a few more sessions?"
"No." she said.
"Do you want to try something else?" I said.
"No." she said.
"Bella... Please, please give me a chance to make this right... Please!" I pleaded, "I will do whatever you say."
"Edward... Just leave me alone." she said.
"I love you." I said as I kissed her again.
"Are we done?" she said.
Are we done?
"Bella... What..."
She rolled over and got up from the bed.
"I'm tired. I want to sleep now. So please... don't disturb me." she said as she went to the bathroom.
"You could have said a No!" I said.
"What?" she said, "We're still married. This is my... job as a wife!"
"No! It doesn't have to be like that!" I said with disbelief, "I know you're mad, but you could have said No! I thought you wanted this, too..."
"Yes, I could have..." she said, "And yeah, you have got other options, but..."
"Just... Get lost." I said angrily.
I finally stopped when I felt tired of walking aimlessly.
I sat on the bench and closed my eyes.
My mind was racing, but I wasn't having any coherent thoughts.
My whole life was looking like a joke to me at the moment.
How could Angela do this to me?
Why couldn't I see it?
How could I just believe her?
Why didn't I see that my mother had been interfering in my life to begin with?
Why did I keep trying to make Bella understand my side even if I always knew my efforts were never going to be enough and she was never going to believe me?
Why did I constantly live in fear of losing everything?
Why didn't I realize that I was losing myself while I was trying to keep proving my truth to her?
How could I be such an idiot?
Didn't I have any self-respect?
How could I let that bullshit go on for seven fucking years?
"I swear... The day I learn to love myself... I will leave."
Didn't she keep saying this to me?
I wanted to ask a question to myself now.
Why didn't I have any self-love?
Why didn't I just... leave?