EPOV
"There is no need to go anywhere..." I said.
We were in a stunned silence for the last few minutes.
We both were lying side by side on the bed, lost in thoughts, without saying anything.
Suddenly I saw her getting up, and moving towards the door.
"Girls are back from dinner. I'm just going to go and check on them," she said.
Aah, okay!
"Cool." I said.
What the fuck was I doing!
Was there any point in being mad at her?
What exactly was I even going to achieve by being mad at her?
But... The way she had treated me, it was just...
But maybe she did that because I fucking told her myself that I had cheated on her!
God! Why was I such an idiot!
Why didn't I even think for once that Angela could possibly be lying!
Why didn't I fucking think about that?
And... Why the fuck would she do that!
What did she achieve by spoiling our lives!
And I literally hadn't done anything to her!
How the hell was I responsible if her life was a fucking mess!
And Bella! She fucking treated me like a dog for the last seven years, and I allowed her to do so!
If she couldn't forgive me, she could have moved on!
What was the point in hurting me like that!
What was the point in dragging this marriage for so long!
Well, if I was honest to myself, I could have done that too, right? If it was so problematic, I could have ended this marriage, but I didn't!
What was the point in being mad at her? I asked myself again.
I guess my fucking thoughts were certainly heading in a wrong direction!
We had wasted seven fucking years!
Like, seven fucking years!
The right thing would be to forget everything as a nightmare and move on instead of wasting time on being mad at her!
It was time to focus back on 'us'!
But... It was easier said than done.
I was the biggest victim in my eyes at the moment!
At this moment, it seemed to be impossible for me to forget everything and move on!
So, what really was my plan exactly?
Did I want to drag this on for another seven years?
Well, considering my current state of mind, I wouldn't totally discard that possibility!
I sighed and closed my eyes. I tried to calm myself down, but didn't succeed.
In fact, thinking more about it, I realized that the right thing indeed was to move on!
But... Moving on from each other!
Maybe we didn't really realize it, but we were actually stuck in a toxic marriage!
It was not healthy for either of us!
Both of us had suffered more than enough in these seven years.
It was time to put a stop to that!
But would I really be able to live without her?
Well, I'd learn that!
She was right when she told me three days back that the major reason we had stayed in this marriage was our daughters. And she was right about the fact that the girls were grown up now to understand everything. And yes, they would move out for their further education in a few years. What would we do after that?
Would we still want to love with each other.
Yes, we had our happy moments in these last seven years.
Yes, we loved each other.
But was that really a 'love'? Or was it just that... We were so used to having each other in our lives that we couldn't even imagine a life without each other!
Maybe we were each other's comfort zone, and none of us really knew how it would be to leave this comfort zone!
Yeah... Maybe that's the reason none of us really left!
But whatever the fuck we had... Was that really going to be enough for us to spend the rest of our lives together?
I didn't know!
I fucking didn't know anything!
But I knew it was really a high time to think about what the fuck we were going to do with our lives!