Prompt #41: Elliot is around during the time Liv finds, fosters, and adopts Noah
Until Noah
~oOo~
She invited him on a whim.
Call it desperation. Call it sentimentality. Call it she just plain missed her best friend.
Olivia did this often — gazed at Noah while he slept. Sometimes, in awe — she couldn't believe he was there, hers, this precious, perfect bundle. Sometimes, in sheer panic — when he was sick, or she had a horrific case, and she needed reassurance that he was okay. Safe.
Sometimes, like tonight, in reflection. Thinking about where she came from and where she is now. Thinking about Serena and her fractured childhood. Thinking about lost loves, gained friendships, and her broken, healed heart.
She's had his new number for weeks. Used her connections and tracked him down the way she should have back when she was terrorized and traumatized and wanted him more than anyone. It took her a while to reconcile his absence, to learn that he was remote and overseas for most of their time apart and probably had no clue what happened to her. It hurt to think of him so separate from them: the job, their partnership, what they once were to each other. It felt strange and devastating to move on from the only real relationship she ever had, and she promised herself she'd never get attached to anyone that completely ever again.
Until Noah.
Noah changed everything. Her jaded perspective on life, love, and family disintegrated the second she scooped him from that drawer. He filled in her pieces, shattered beyond repair, and smoothed them with gold flecks and stardust. It still amazes her how so much light reflects from tragedy, how even the worst circumstances carry a lesson.
Her life was full now. She had this precious boy and a family built on strong bonds of friendship. And yet, she still felt an ache and emptiness for the one person that should be here celebrating all of this with her.
Watching Noah sleep, staring at his pudgy hands and fluttering eyelashes, his rosy cheeks and thin wisps of light brown hair that were beginning to curl into ringlets, she decided on a whim. She opened her phone and scrolled to his name. Texted him the date, time, address, and one simple sentence: I need you there. — Liv
~oOo~
He's early.
To say his life was in shambles was an understatement. To say he missed Olivia was an understatement. To say he'd been spending months, years, trying to figure out how to come back to her, how to apologize, how to start over, was an understatement.
And then he got her text. A surprise text, to his new number, with a date, a time, and an address. A church.
Shit.
He's heartsick because he knows what this means. But Liv said she needed him, and it's the crack in the mosaic he's been looking for, a way back into her life. It's not what he'd pictured or longed for, but he'll take it. He just needs to see her.
He never replied to her text. He should have acknowledged her in some way, God knows she deserves it and so much more from him, but he froze. A church. A life, her life, an event, something important she wanted him to see. And he froze. He waited too long, rehashed the past in his head for too long, and now she was gone, forever. Moved on and found real happiness, the life he couldn't give her before.
At least he could have this moment — a chance to see her, wish her well, grit his teeth into a smile as he meets the man she deserves.
He's early, and the church is quiet, so he chooses one of the empty pews toward the front and sits. There aren't kneelers here, but he leans forward anyway, clasping his hands in ritualistic prayer. The church is beautiful and peaceful. If Liv had to pick a church to get married in, he can see why she chose this one. He notices the lack of decoration, no overdone floral arrangements or kitschy ribbons hanging from the rafters. No pew bows or aisle runners. It's simple, elegant, enough. It's all he ever wanted with her but was too scared to admit.
He can admit it now, scream from the rooftops how in love he is with Olivia Benson, but it's too late. Their timing was always awful, and running away was her specialty before he adopted it as his own. He ran too far, for too long, and he missed her, forever.
A baby's squeal from the back of the church breaks through his litany of regrets.
~oOo~
She sees him, and everything stops.
Olivia hoped, expected, and wondered, but armed herself with disappointment just in case.
She had a moment to see him before he saw her, to lay eyes on his stoic form, bowed in prayer, solemn and solid. To remember all the best parts of him, and the worst, and love him all the same. To smile, ache, forgive, swallow down impossible dreams, and put on a brave face.
Noah shrieks, his boisterous baby laugh echoing throughout the empty room, and Elliot turns.
He sees her, and everything stops.
Elliot stares, confused, absorbing the scene at the back of the church. Olivia is a vision, as always, and his entire body trembles with relief, the realization of seeing her for the first time in years washing over him. She's wearing a dress, but it's not white lace as he imagined. She's holding a baby, an adorable little guy in an adorable little outfit, and he melts in realization.
She has a baby, a son.
He approaches her, and they share identical hesitant expressions that reveal a mixture of comfort, fear, and love. They are a few feet apart now, mutual eyes glistened over with happy, longing tears. He opens his mouth to say something — anything — to apologize, grovel, and profess his love, but the boy on Olivia's hip has other plans as he grunts and shyly buries his face into Olivia's shoulder. They both let out damp chuckles as she slowly rocks, patting the baby's back.
"This is Noah, my foster son. Can you believe it, El?"
Elliot meets the man that Olivia deserves: a bashful, giggly, drooling, blue-eyed stunner. There's no grimace in his handshake or a painted-on smile; he's downright smitten by the new love of Olivia Benson's life.
His tears fall then, marveling at the most beautiful sight in the world — Olivia as a mother.
"He's perfect, Liv. I told you they were wrong."
She beams, and it's the smile in his dreams, the one he's ached for, memorized, traced with careful fingers over the picture in his wallet. He grins back, letting out a gentle, relieved laugh, and her expression changes, an unspoken What? in her eyes.
"So, to clarify, you aren't getting married today?"
"What?!"
He shows her the text she sent, and she bursts into laughter. "Oops. Jesus, Elliot, you haven't changed a bit."
~oOo~
She still can't believe he's here.
Elliot's here, and they've cried and hugged. He kissed her cheek like it was something they'd done countless times. He played peekaboo with Noah during the dedication ceremony, and stood confidently with her new squad, her own adopted family, as the priest prayed over her son.
He's here, at her apartment, for the little after-party she threw together. He's held her hand twice like it was something else they'd done countless times. He only winced slightly when she introduced him to Nick, and he managed to charm Amanda, who had given him dagger eyes for most of the afternoon.
He's not wearing his wedding band — she'll have to address that curiosity later. He also doesn't seem like he has any intention of leaving anytime soon, and she's pretty sure if she asked him to stay forever, he'd say yes.
She'd say yes, too.
Fin won't stop grinning, and if Munch and Cragen were in town, she's pretty sure she'd see money deposited into Fin's outstretched hands. Instead, he wraps those hands around hers, whispers that he'll kick Elliot's ass if she wants, and implores her to chase happiness, however complicated it seems.
Four years is too long without your soulmate.
~oOo~
He is so proud of her.
A mom. A sergeant now, running SVU. Accomplishing her dreams and fulfilling her destiny.
Elliot still has so much to tell her, and he knows she has stories of her own, stories he'll never push her to share. He can only dream that one day, she might forgive him of his trespasses and let him be a part of her life, a part of Noah's life. He's madly in love with both of them.
Everyone else has left, and he's grateful she hasn't kicked him out yet, instead asking him to join her while she did Noah's bath and bedtime routines. He watched her, awestruck, snapping out of his reverie to hand her bath toys and retrieve his favorite stuffed animal from the living room. He watched as Noah snuggled into his crib, exhausted and content, and they tiptoed into the kitchen.
Anxiety began to settle deep within him, the idea of finally being alone with her with so much to confess, but Liv smiled, deep and sincere, and he nodded in understanding. After all this time, he could still read her expressions and silence. She poured a hefty glass of brandy, flipped the lights, grabbed his hand, and led him to the couch.
~oOo~
For now, she wants to be.
That's what she tells him. Be in the moment, be in the quiet. Forget that the outside world exists for a while.
No heavy stuff tonight.
It was a wonderful day, the happiest she's been since Judge Linden took a chance on her and made her an instant mother. She wants to bask in this — this extraordinary, beautiful, love-filled day.
They sit in amiable silence, the only sounds the occasional clinks of ice cubes as they pass the brandy glass back and forth. He hasn't let go of her hand. Or maybe, she hasn't let go of him. Threads stitched back together.
She can tell something is on his mind, something he needs to get out tonight. She hands him the glass, meeting his eyes expectantly as he takes a deep breath.
"Liv? Can I tell you one thing?"
"Sure."
"I'm divorced."
She nods, brows furrowed in immediate concern. "I'm sorry."
"I'm not."
His words are quick and absolute, and his eyes burn through her core. This is a part of the heaviness she expected and didn't want to visit, but it doesn't stop her from feeling molten — tingly, warm, and whole. She could blame the brandy for her reddened cheeks and fluttering belly, but for once, she isn't going to deny herself this feeling.
She curls into him, and he wraps his arm around her, kissing her hair as she relaxes against his shoulder. They have miles to go, over a decade of partnership to unpack, and four absent years to reflect upon. They have several overdue fights on the back burner, ready to flame. But tonight, tangled together in her living room, none of it matters.
He's home.
The author of this SVU: The Rewrite story will be revealed in July