I didn't choose this lifestyle.
Ya know, the "bad guy". I honestly don't mind causing what people call destruction or chaos.
I call it order.
Everybody needs that. Yet, nobody has the balls to take action to obtain it. Everybody wants peace and harmony but has no idea what has to take place for that to be allowed. What is joy without pain? What is being happy if you never felt sadness or anger? I find myself angry so often that not having broken somebody's face is my reason to smile.
Do you know what it's like having a literal psychopath in your head waiting to get his time to shine?
You have to have patience and constant talks with yourself because people have no idea what it's like in that battle cage of a brain. They expect. They assume. They poke. They tease. And you laugh as a defense mechanism so your mind doesn't rip their souls out with the words you COULD say. The power of life and death is held in the tongue and you have mastered your words. You would rather take a beat than defend yourself because to fight back would be unfair. I'm a villain because I have to be.
Everybody hates the bad guy.
But I've always related to the bad guy. Imagine the world being against you when you just want to bring balance and prosperity to it. Imagine being…truly alone. It's dark here. The quiet is loud. I almost don't want to speak. Hearing the sound of my voice echo back to me would only solidify that it's just me here. I'm a villain because what kind of world would allow somebody to feel so alone?
Fuck this world.
I'm a villain because my good is never good enough. I'm a villain because I want the best for others and am willing to tell them when they're not there yet. I'm a villain because I need help and that's against the rules. You don't ask for help, people offer it. What happens, though…when you are alone? When does nobody see you? When nobody hears your cry for help? You get frustrated, yeah? You start to get pissed off, yeah?
The voice in your head starts to become clearer. It becomes the longest one you hear.
You no longer think.
You only act.
You turn into…. Psycho.
Oh…now you're fucked.