Note: Ok, can I just say? I'm REALLY proud of that last chapter, from an standpoint of showing character emotions. Like, that's in the Top 3 of such content I've ever written, easily, IMO.

"But when are we gonna hit the FEELS of Retrograde?" I hear you wonder.

"Patience." I whisper, like an ASMR video…

Also, I'm letting Miles (and eventually others, probably) swear like he deserves to, so the rating is going up.

As always, I do not own Spider-Man nor any affiliated properties. Please, review, comment, or criticize (you all give me strength and fuel!). Most of all, enjoy!

Retrograde

Chapter 2

No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no-

"No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no-" He'd webbed Mayday to his chest in a makeshift holder and was desperately flinging rubble every which way, even as his wounds screamed at him to stop, and his hands and fingers tore and bled with the rest of him as he carelessly grasped at sharp rocks and fragments of glass. Peni, Noir, Ham and some of the breakaways from the Spider Society had descended and started helping, everyone's faces clearly falling as they dug deeper. It was his dad.It was Peter. It was, it was, it was, it was- He heard a groaning as they all started moving the largest, central piece, and his heart leapt.

Pushing from below with his back, Peter B. Parker helped lift the last of the rubble, motioning to Jefferson and the kid to move out first. His good arm hung limp at his side, clearly broken from stopping the full force of the impact. He looked almost as relieved as Miles, and that relief softened further as he took in the slightly concerned face of his daughter, still webbed to Miles' chest.

"Hey, pumpkin, don't worry. Daddy's fine…" Miles could see Peter see the opportunity in front of him. "BOTH Daddies are, more or less…" Mayday, for her part, looked quite unimpressed at his joke. Miles had to keep from frantically tearing her off of himself, passing her to Peter with the webs still stuck to her front. He babbled a frankly unintelligible 'Thank you' to Peter, whose own expression quickly solidified into a certain, recalcitrant 'It was the least I could do.' The instant Miles' hands were free; he threw them around his father.

"DAD! Dad…" He couldn't speak much else thanks to his desperate, grateful sobbing into Jefferson's shoulder, who was clearly still trying to process the sheer multitude of revelations that had been thrust upon him, both in the last few minutes, and over the course of the day. But he wasn't so shocked as to be unable to return the hug, almost as desperately.

Miles wasn't sure how long they stayed like that. It could have been seconds, minutes, hours. Days might've passed, and he would've been just as overcome with relief. But of course that had to come to an end.

"Miles-" Jefferson began to say.

"MILES!" The furious, interruptive ROAR came from above them. Miles turned, and saw Gwen plummet. She smashed against the top of the last remaining streetlight hard enough to knock the glass out, and tumbled to the ground as it fell and shattered. She was clutching at her ribs where she'd hit the streetlight, and trying to dab and mop at the four long, bleeding claw marks on her face...

Miguel O'Hara slammed against the concrete in a frankly classic edgy-superperson-pose before he rose to his feet, Gwen's blood still dripping from his talons. All around, Spiders were starting to gather as the last of the damage from the Spot was contained. Some were lining up behind Miguel. Just as many were starting to line up behind Miles and the Band, but even more were hanging on the sides and tops of buildings in-between the forming crowds. The idea that they had been so wrong too much to let them support Miguel, but not confirmed enough yet to stand against him.

"You KNOW what HAS TO HAPPEN, Miles!" Miguel screamed as he stalked forward. Gwen had gotten some good licks in; Miguel's mask was about as broken as Miles' own, and he wasn't putting his full weight on his left side. "If HE LIVES," Miguel pointed a bloody finger at Jefferson. "THIS WHOLE UNIVERSE DIES! AND I WON'T LET THAT HAPPEN!"

And THAT saw more Spiders jump off the sidelines, landing firmly down behind Miles and Jefferson. It saw some step back from behind Miguel himself. Letting something like the death of a Captain happen was one thing. Making it happen was clearly a bridge too far, for a good number of those remaining and even those who had already thought themselves firm in where they stood. And Miguel could see it just as clearly as Miles could. Could see even Spectacular and LEGO back away from him, see the growing doubt in Jess's face just behind and to his side.

"FINE!" Miguel snarled. "I'M THE ONLY ONE HERE WILLING TO DO WHAT NEEDS TO BE DONE, I'LL DO IT! I'LL BE THE ONE TO SAFEGUARD THE ARACHNO-"

thwip!

A line of webbing smacked right between his feet. As he turned around over it, Miles smashed his venom-charged first straight into Miguel's nose, turning with the punch, putting all his force behind the rolling, acrobatic attack. Miguel crashed against the street so hard, whatever was left uncracked shattered beneath him, the breaks and damage spreading as the incredible force Miles struck him with transferred outwards. Sidewalks heaved and the few unbroken windows on the street exploded. Miles stomped down on the dazed Miguel's chest, holding him in place.

"Tell me this, O'Hara," Miles spat out in a snarl of his own. "If I am what you say I am… if the Spiderverse and Canon Events and all this BULLSHIT works like how you say it does… then how the FUCK ARE WE ALL HERE AT ALL?! HOW IN THE SHIT COULD I GO TO EARTH-42? HOW'S THAT STILL AROUND, HUH?! GWEN'S DAD AIN'T CAPTAIN ANYMORE, AND HER UNIVERSE IS FINE! I'VE BEEN SPIDER-MAN FOR OVER A YEAR AND FUCKING NOTHING'S! HAPPENED! HERE!"

It was another line of thought he'd pursued with Miles G. while they were working on a way to stop The Spot. By rights, neither of their universes should've still existed if they'd both already gone so far off-script, as it were. But they were both still there, and were clearly going to stay there besides.

"That's…" Miguel gurgled out, and Miles could see the fear and horror in his eyes as he started to reach the same conclusions he and Miles G. had. Commonalty of events and persons helped to bind the many disparate realities of the Spiderverse together, sure. But it wasn't what kept individual universes safe and intact. The whole of Earth-1610 and Earth-42, by Miguel's own logic, shouldn't have kept existing after such massive deviations from the Canon. But they did. They were in Earth-1610 at that very moment.

"Lyla… Lyla, time…" Miguel gasped out. The fur-coated AI popped into visibility next to him, and Miles couldn't tell if she looked sad, or some sort of sad-but-satisfied. The three of them, everyone, watched as the clock ticked down for Jefferson Morales to die. The point of no return came and went. And nothing happened.

"…Oh, Dios…" Miguel gasped out as tears began to fall down his face, mingled with the blood from the broken nose Miles gave him. "Oh, Madre de Dios, qué he hecho?" And for as much as he and Miles had disagreed on… everything, Miles couldn't help but feel sorry for the man as the full weight of what he'd done, what he'd encouraged and forced other, innocent Spiders to do and allow, crashed down on him.

"You got it wrong, man." And at that, Miles reached down, holding a hand for Miguel to take. "You got it wrong, and you gotta stop." Miguel tentatively took that offered hand in both his own, but stumbled as he rose and lost his grip. He fell to his knees in the rubble before the young man he'd blamed for everything, his tears mixing in his blood and the rain that had begun to fall.

"Madre, perdóname… por favor, perdóname…" Mile wasn't sure just who Miguel was tearfully begging to by then. He just walked up out of the small crater he'd punched the man into, and let his eyes catch the front of the group of Spiders that had supported him. Peni had yanked a first aid kit out of Sp\\dr and dabbed at Gwen's face with antiseptic while Jefferson tried to help Peter B. get his arm into a web-sling. They all turned to look at him. Everyone looked at him.

So of course that was when his wounds and exhaustion caught up to him and he passed out right there on his feet.

He woke up on rough sheets, and antiseptic filed his nose. It took him a few seconds to fully wake up, for his eyes to blink away the blurriness that came from passing out due to exhaustion and probably blood loss. And he saw perhaps the absolute last thing he hoped to see. His costume, partially cut off, partially just removed, draped over a nearby chair. And sat in that chair…

"H…Hey, Mamí…"

Rio Morales gave him a look that said she did NOT appreciate his attempt to be casual about the situation. She looked both as angry as he'd ever seen her, and like she was desperately holding back the worst tears he'd ever seen her cry. "This, uh… this isn't how I meant for you to… find out, for the record. I was gonna tell you when I got back, first thing, but then I got stuck in another dimension for a day and a half and we only had 12 hours to save-"

She burst up from the seat, Miles' mask dropping from her lap, and clasped her hands around his face. He wondered why his face, until he dared let his eyes drift from hers for a second, and saw his torso was entirely covered in bandages

"Oh, mi hijo. Mi dulce, estúpido, brillante, idiota, maravilloso, loco, valiente, exasperante hijo..."

The tears flowed then, and she tried to keep from crying on him, and he could feel tears of his own run down his cheeks.

"Mamí, Mamí," He almost pleaded as she continued to ramble adjectives, good and bad, at him almost on autopilot. "I got a B in Spanish, remember?" That got her to smile, even if it was a small one.

"You pushing to get the full 12 months, mijo? Cause you keep being such a smart Alec, that's what's gonna…" She tapered off. "So, this is what you've been hiding? This is what you thought you couldn't tell your Dad and me? Why you've missed so many classes, where you've been the last few days? Did you say something about another dimension?" Now it was that desperate, motherly-concern-rapid-fire-questionnaire that his whole big speech had been meant to preempt. He'd just never gotten the chance to give it.

"Yeah. Yeah, a year and a couple months ago, I was down in some old train tunnels with Uncle Aaron, painting, and a radioactive spider, from another dimension, bit me…"

"…And then Armadillo broke the train tracks, and a store thief made me miss my cab-" Miles had been recounting the whole of his time since being bitten, patiently abiding by his mother's interruptions.

"Why would you ever take a cab? Or a train?You can swing wherever on that… wait, does that stuff come out of you?" Rio looked both horrified and… a little curious at the prospect.

"WHAT?! NO! No, the webs don't come out of me, Mom! It's a device! Web shooters! You and the docs probably took mine off when you were working on me. And frankly, the arms get tired, all that swinging and punching and climbing. I mean, there's probably some guys and girls out in the Spiderverse that… literally make their own webs…" His face twisted at the thought. "But I ain't met 'em." Unless… he thought about how Jessica Drew fired her webs… "I don't think, and frankly, if I have, I don't want to know." He declared, and that left them both laughing, which was a nice change of pace. He needed it especially, because what came next…

"And it… it wasn't all of them, Mamí, but it was… it was the three I thought would always... always do the right thing, always have my back like I had theirs, and they… they…" And that was when he broke down, as he remembered the shock and despair that took hold of him as he realized all three of them; Peni, Peter, Gwen, all three of them agreed with Miguel, were willing to let his father die, were willing to not even try, to not do what Spiders were supposed to. They'd helped teach him what it meant, and they'd all just given up. On it, and on him, even if that wasn't how they'd clearly thought of it at the time.

Miles and Rio stayed like that for a long time. As he sobbed into her shoulder at the memories and emotions, and she whispered words of comfort and sweetness into his ear in both languages.

"But I…" Miles eventually gasped out, pulling away so he could look at her, so he could tell her to her face, not her shoulder. "You were right, Mom. It was just like you said. So I did just what you asked. I showed 'em. Didn't let 'em get away with any of it. And… and I'm back. I'm back, and so's your little boy. And, I think it was that same, that love, that defiance, that got everyone who helped me to do it, and that's what saved Dad, so…"

He smiled gratefully as she kissed the top of his head, but that happiness was short-lived. Not just in the face of the memories he'd dug back up, but in the face of what came next.

"And I just… I don't know, Mom. I-I don't think I want to… lose them, but what they were going to let happen. To me, to you… I don't- I don't know if…" And his grief stopped dead at the expression of intense awkwardness that had grown across his mother's face. "Oh, don't tell me…"

And of course, an adorable redheaded baby, her Spider-cap firmly planted atop her hair, poked her head around the doorway, halfway up its height, and let out a delighted yell at the sight of him. Someone Miles couldn't see quickly pulled her back, but he could definitely hear the furious, not-very-whispered-whisper of,

"YOU try holding onto a spider-baby with just one good arm!"

Rio sighed deeply.

"They almost didn't let themselves get treated, they were so intent on waiting to hear how you were, hoping they'd see you when you woke up." She looked uncertainly towards the door. "Do you want me to… send them-"

"No. No, we… we need to talk. We need to settle this." Miles declared. Rio stepped away and moved to the door, motioned to those outside. Peni came in first, followed by Peter B and Mayday, with Gwen at the back. Peter's arm was in a proper cast, and Gwen had what looked like liquid bandage on the cuts across her face. Only time and care would tell if she'd have any major scars. The 4 of them gathered at the foot of his bed, none of them saying anything. Just all looked suitably awkward and contrite.

"Do you want me to… give you all some Spider-privacy?" Rio asked.

"NO." Miles gasped out, and he could see how that just shattered everyone in the room. Even Rio. The idea that the trust and bonds they'd had were so damaged, so frayed, that he desperately needed her there just to be able to speak his mind to these people who'd meant to so much to him. And a small part of Miles, the part of him that still hurt, that was still angry, still vindictive, thought,

Good.

He shook his head at that. " Listen, I-I appreciate what you all did, helping me… but I… I can't just… forget what you did. What you all were fine with letting happen. What you tried to make me let happen. And I… I know what I think I want. I don't-"

He took a desperate, gasping breath as the emotion began to overwhelm him. "I don't want to just, cut you guys out, but… but what I want isn't what I think I-I need. And what I need is time. Time to… figure all this sh-"

He stopped just short, as he barely remembered the presence of baby ears in the room. "Figure all this out. Can… can we do-" He stopped as Peter raised his hand. Then swiftly dropped it to keep Mayday from crawling out of the carrier again.

"You take all the time you need, Miles." The man's eyes communicated the depths of sadness, but also understanding. You couldn't do what they'd done to Miles and expect it to be just solved in two days and one big superhero battle. Peter B, better than anyone there, understood that healing took time. And it was clear he'd give that.

"Whatever you decide," Peni chimed in. She'd regained a bit of her old spark, but whatever had happened to her in her own universe in the last year, Miles wasn't sure he wanted to know, if only because it must have been so terrible to change her so much. "Whatever you decide, Miles, we'll respect it." Across from her, Gwen took a shuddering breath.

"If you want to see us again, if you need us, we'll be there. If you don't…" She didn't say it, by her expression, her eyes, wide and emotive, said what she couldn't. If he didn't want to see them again, see her again, he wouldn't. Hard as it would be for her, for all of them.

"Well, now that's sorted, I need to go put someone to bed," Peter said half mockingly, half lovingly to the yawning baby on his chest, who glared up at him in sleepy defiance. "And get scolded by my wife. If I'm not quiet enough." He moved to tap in his coordinates on his dimensional watch before remembering he couldn't move one whole arm. Peni helped him punch in his coordinates, and he gave Miles a look that none of those in the room could fully decipher before he let himself be swept away in the swirling vortex of Technicolor English newspaper.

Peni slid the window open and leapt out. Rio sprinted to it, medical and parental instinct overriding her knowledge of the girl as a Spider-person, and got treated to the full height of Sp\\dr rising up out of the parking lot. Both it and Peni waved, Peni perched in the mech's hand as it loaded her into its torso, before Sp\\dr sealed itself and stepped into the portal.

Gwen took another deep, shuddering breath, and also made for the window. She stopped just short, hood up, mask off, and turned back to Miles. They could both tell what she so clearly, so desperately wanted to say to him.

See you around, Spider-Man.

But she couldn't. Because he could tell her that he didn't want to see her. By rights, he should've. Him saying he needed time to think was in itself clearly more than she'd dreamed she'd hear from him, but that hope almost made it worse.

Neither was sure how long they remained like that, gazes fixed on each other. But eventually, Gwen's gaze broke. She pulled her mask down, punched in her own coordinates, and leapt through the window, prompting a light Spanish curse from Rio, who watched as she fell gracefully into the portal that had opened halfway down the outside wall.

Rio awkwardly cleared her throat when the flicker lights vanished, and turned to the reusable grocery bag that sat on one of the tables further in the room.

"I brought you, ah," She lifted out Miles' headphones, his cell phone, and chargers for each. "Thought it might help you relax." She held them a bit uncertainly.

"Gracias, Mamí." Miles said, taking them in his hand. "And hey, I know we've still got a lot to talk about, but you gotta have other patients, right?" Rio mumbled and looked somewhat guiltily at the floor. "I'm alright, Mom. I'll be alright. Go, do you job. I'll be here. I love you."

She smiled at that, and moved in to kiss him on the cheek, which he returned, then left. Miles tapped his phone on, slipped his headphones over his ears, and pressed 'Shuffle.' A simple clapping beat and a varying hum hit his ears.

You're on your own.

In the world you've grown.

Few years to go.

Don't let the hurdle fall.

FUCK. THIS was too on-point, but…

So be the girl you loved.

Be the girl you loved.

But it was too perfect, at the same time. He let the song play, as more tears began to fall.

"You see?" I whisper, with a touch of Grima Wormtongue added to my ASMR-like cadence. "All you needed was patience, and it's just. Getting. Started."

In all seriousness, I probably could've broken this into two chapters, at the point where Miles passes out, but I wanted to get through this bit of the story, setting up what everyone knows and where everyone is both physically and emotionally for what's to come. So we can get to the REST of the GOOD SHIT, as I said.

In terms of talking about content, something struck me writing this, and I do hope Beyond bears me out on this at least; the Spiderverse Trilogy now ought to be one of the biggest TRAGEDY stories of superheroes, and not because of the potential for Jefferson to die. No, the tragedy is in the Spider Society, who are so desperate to find a reason and an excuse for all the bad luck and trauma in their lives, that they've completely forgotten the ethos of Spider-Man.

"With great power, there must also come great responsibility." It's easy to see how that's been so utterly twisted by this version of Miguel and his belief in Canon, to justify letting tragedies happen to preserve the integrity of the Spiderverse. And that sort of thing is exactly what the whole phrase is saying YOU AREN'T SUPPOSED TO DO. THAT'S THE OPPOSITE LESSON UNCLE BEN IS ALWAYS MEANT TO TEACH. You at least TRY to do the right thing, for everyone, no matter how hard or personally inconvenient it is for you, even if it may not work out. Because if you have the power to do something, you have the responsibility to do it.

And if the way Miguel's convinced everyone Canon works is wrong (which Across seems to really be hinting at), it is going to just DESTROY him and all the rest of the Spider Society when they realize what they've let themselves become. It's a tragedy, of an actual army of superheroes letting themselves become a terrible, for-the-greater-good-Hot-Fuzz-style, others-sacrificing pack of inter-dimensional puppet masters who will forcibly press-gang anyone like them who disagrees into abiding by their WRONG rules. And I wanted that to be reflected in the scene where Miguel just breaks down and begs forgiveness, which I'd not even conceived of in the early stages of this work because it was going to be a lot more triumphant on Miles' part (and this whole section was maybe a 10th the size, Jesus, this bit got away from me IN THE BEST WAY). But I realized that there's no triumph in Miles being right and winning beyond Spot being stopped and Jefferson living without E1610 collapsing; those things mean hundreds, maybe THOUSANDS, of Spiders have been willfully sullying the collective uniform for over a year out of guilt and trauma and fear. And that's just a tragedy, and that tone needs to be reflected.

Then, there's Miles' Talk. I mentioned in another story I've made, but ATSV helped me finish up another fic of mine (a Gundam fic) because how I wanted the Talk Miles has with Peni, Peter B. and Gwen was how I had wanted a similar talk in that Gundam show to go in the immediate wake of similarly massive betrayals. The show ultimately did its own, very good thing in terms of patching up those characters that worked brilliantly for the story it was telling, but I also think my take here might be the most reasonable one I've seen in the MANY fics besides, and especially in these circumstances; Miles WANTS to keep these people who helped him through the greatest and most dangerous transition of his life close to him, but they've hurt him SO BADLY he can't be sure that's actually what he wants. So he asks for time, to figure it out, and in the next big step towards making up for what they did to him, they give him that time he's asking for.

I would also apologize for the Google Translate Spanish, but I'm an half-unemployed nerd in the grips of COVID-19; I'm taking the easiest possible route for languages I don't speak, I'm sorry.