"There´s people who cannot live without war".
Violet was one of those people, I can still remember the fierceness of her blue round eyes, the violence and innocence unleashed in a small, scrawny body wrapped in rags and cheeks colored by scratches and blows, who looked at me as if I were the only light in the midst of darkness.
I could feel the power of her will, will that is only known by the deep desire to survive a hostile world and this was clearly a hostile world. her eyes hit mine and something inside me shifted, fear coursed from my fingertips to my scalp, making my skin crawl. I frowned watching my older brother chuckle and pushing her with a kick towards me, I felt against me this small, thin little body scourged by hunger. "A gift" were the words that echoed against my eardrum.
They say there is nothing more unbreakable than will and this little girl with her animal look had fire like a blaze that immutable ability. Dietfried's speech in front of me faded and distorted as I separated myself from the little violet that until then didn't even know her own name, her eyes didn't shine, her pupil was a deep dark blue and when you saw her up close, although her size told you that she was a child, her features were mature making her look like an adult.
Then the doors of the room opened, "kill" were Dietfried's words, and before I could look back at the girl she had disappeared from my arms, reappearing in the doorway and in the blink of an eye a lifeless body was slammed to the floor.
"we have invisible scars, left by the flames"
that was the first of many scars in his heart, that was the last time I would see my brother, I took violet in my arms while Dietfried told her that she no longer belonged to him and that I would be her master now.
I wanted the color of her eyes to become bright, that her lips would not remain straight and expressionless, that she could smile from the bottom of her heart, that she could be a normal girl again, but what was normal in this world, war was raging in our country, that I had already called to do my duty with my brother and my father. Our family carried on their shoulders a great military heritage; honor was our greatest banner.
They would not allow me to keep her by my side unless I showed them the efficacy of this skill that I regretted so much she had showed me.
"Burn" and if we are to burn let´s burn together, that little body of hers was as agile and stealthy as a feline, her small, slender arms, delicate wrists and fragile fingers became much more deadly weapons than a rifle or a sword. In the blink of an eye, without giving her any weapon, Violet managed to disarm 20 trained men and she only stopped when she heard my voice.
she really was like a gun, and my voice was her trigger and her bullet, together we could be invincible, but I don't know why this reality that seemed to make her so happy hurt me so much.
On the battlefield she didn't care about her wounds, she didn't seem to feel the touch of the enemy bullets piercing her body, nor the sharp blades of the swords against her flesh.
the soldiers feared her, even though she was an ally, the fear was such that I had to hide her in the tent, there she healed her wounds like a dog heals them. I wanted to cry, but I could not, was this what she really wanted for herself, what on earth was I teaching her?
"Our actions are a manifestation of our pain".
Maybe saving her was a way of saving myself from this misery that war brings, maybe I wanted her to be my flag, my banner of hope, but they say that reality always surpasses fiction, and maybe I had mistaken the path with her, maybe I should have left her in the care of the ladies of the home and never taught her the horrors of war and it was an irony, because she was the one who was really the faithful consequence of war. The negligence of those who should have protected her, the hand that was not given to her, made her an orphan, made her a prisoner of hunger and maybe, just maybe, the circumstances of her life made her cold and inexpressive, almost as if she could not feel human at all.
she built a wall so high and dense to hide her feelings that she forgot how to tear it down, and I only cemented her wall with wires and fed that empty space, the one that replaced her heart with military jargon and orders. I gave her the need for my orders, a misguided purpose.
she had become my mistake...