"There are people who cannot live without war."
They say that there is nothing more intense than the look and Violet was one of those people who said more with her eyes than she could describe with her words. That immutable ability to find the universe in her pupil was something that only she and no one else could achieve, with a snap of her fingers she transported you to galaxies so far away and made you swim in the middle of that ocean of stars, you could dance in her iris and see the waves of her eyelashes play at your feet, like a beautiful evening.
And I can still remember the way that little animal wrapped in rags looked at me, how truncating her life distorted the purpose of such a pure and intense human being, because she was always like that, intense, like a fire out of control.
and the war for me today was not only screams drowned by blood, nor the incessant sound of the cannons of the ships and planes strafing the enemy cities, the war today was a battle between two brothers who found the same treasure.
"We have invisible scars, left by the flames".
and knowing her lost, that every time her eyes met mine she wasn't looking for me but for a totally different human, and yes, "we burn", because inside we all have that fire, I don't know if my brother ever lit his, but without a doubt Violet lit mine.
I couldn't but look at her with these battle-weary eyes, worn pupils that had seen countless wars, her hands between mine were like daggers that made this old and stubborn heart fall in love even more.
I pressed her hands in mine, she had become my weakness and around her I fell into a thousand pieces like the leaves that fall in autumn, there was nothing else around, she had become my home.
I had found the immovable meaning of life in a little girl whom I had inevitably turned into a killing machine for my own benefit, whose will I had made fire, war and blood, whom my twin brother forced me to protect until I could no longer avoid falling under her spell.
"I want to know what love is" to hear her say those words was perhaps the thing I envied most about my brother at this point.
But mine were her afternoons in front of the flower crops, mine were her smiles that Gilbert never got to look at, not the ones that come from the bottom of my heart, not the ones she gave me.
And then my heart breaks even more, when I enter her room and she continues to treasure that brooch, as if her whole life were a dead end, as if the end would always be to pronounce that name "Gilbert.
and now that I remember, I don't think I ever heard her say my first name, she just ran barefoot through the corridors of my heart, without ever holding on to me, keeping her memory alive even if it was only in a small and useless object like a brooch.
" once you've been in the dark, you learn to appreciate anything that shines."
it was she who shone, and it wasn't anything in the middle of the darkness, for in the middle of the darkness there was only the horrifying reality of having been invincible against her, if there was anyone who could once subdue and defeat her it was me.
That untold story of how she, being so small, infiltrated the wrong ship and killed all the crew members, until she met me.
and I don't know how she can still sneak into my arms at night, and I'm stupid to think that deep down she could choose me, when maybe I'm just the living memory of the person she loves the most on this earth.
"people will do anything, no matter how stupid and absurd, all to avoid facing their own souls."
thoughts torment us much more than the reality that is presented to us, a wounded heart invents storms in a glass of water.
And mine, dear brother, has been drowning since the news of your arrival.