"The world breaks anyone, and then many are strong in broken places."

It was getting dusk, and Claudia's letter with the news of my brother continued to burn me inside, it was as if I had been devoured by a butterfly that then caught fire inside me, starting a blaze, a fire that in its path destroyed all that ecosystem that violet and her arrival had sown inside me.

and my chest ached, tight and I could not breathe deeply because the flames were so big that every time, I tried to breathe the fire only got bigger, I was prey to a calamity, and I could not escape.

I opened the windows to the terrace of the garden, looking for the air that I was missing, I leaned my hands on the concrete railing and tried to find the air, but I could not, I hit with my fists against my chest until I fell against the ground and the incessant memories that like seeds had remained in my heart were fading into ashes.

Twisting like a small and helpless animal I felt that I was dying, I felt that each of the new colors that Violet showed me were fading, turning into ashes and carried away by the wind, and slowly I returned to be that inexpressive and cold being again.

The butlers and the housekeeper helped my undoubted inexistence, Violet tried to approach me, "DON'T YOU DARE TOUCH ME" were the horrible words that came out of my mouth and I believe that I will never forget that look, because it was the same look of the first time I saw her.

I was quickly taken out of that place, the doctors were called, they called it an anxiety attack. By the time I woke up it was already night, dinner had been served and Violet was gone.

In another life maybe I wouldn't have broken your dreams like the bones of your body, maybe I would have been gentler and tried to see in your eyes that universe that Gilbert could feel even before he met you.

In another life maybe he would have given you the shelter you needed instead of scourging your soul and reducing you to a status lower even than that of an animal. Maybe he would have been kinder and protected you, as Gilbert did.

In another life he might have taught you and raised you as any child your age deserved and not shown you war and used you as a vile, disposable weapon.

But that other life no longer exists, I didn't take care of you when I had the chance, I didn't dress you or make you feel protected, or give you the home that perhaps you so deserved. It was Gilbert who taught you that the world has different colors, and mine was only monochromatic. RAYOS!

Gilbert's death was only the beginning of the macabre adventure towards finding our humanity, not only did Violet learn that she was not a machine, that her body was not made of metal and that bullets and swords could hurt her, but she also learned the power of words.

Gilbert through Violet showed me that the world is not monochromatic, that what I thought was right in my life, in reality I had been living a lie for years.

I was afraid, afraid that just because Gilbert was alive Violet would push me aside, and what an irrational thought fear is, when I was the one who at the foot of his grave asked my brother to come back, that the battle for Violet's heart was not fair if he was not alive.

"What good are wings if you don't have the courage to fly."

I wandered like a ghost through the house, dinner had been served on the table, I sat down, but I could only relive the eyes with which she looked at me and the dirty words that had escaped from my mouth.

I sat down near the last fire in the fireplace, trying to find some solution to all this that I was feeling and that was revolting my heart, until I almost fell asleep.

when I woke up someone was tucking me in, I could see violet and her blonde hair loose, and her surprised look of being so close to me, she tried to run away, but then I spoke to her apologizing, she stopped for a moment and then just disappeared.

I fanned the fire, folded the blanket and went back to my room, but not before I stopped in front of her room and whispered "this is killing me Violet", I think I have never been so sincere and honest with someone as I have been with her, I think I have not even been with myself, I turned to enter my room and then I felt the door thundering open and a small but strong arms around my waist girded.

this was the answer I needed, a small action that would knock my world down to find the confidence I found missing. and I didn't hesitate.

I turned to her and entangled her lips in a kiss, and though she may not have seen it coming, it was the proof she needed in the face of fear, that which Gilbert never had the courage to do except in his deepest thoughts and today I was the one who robbed her of that possibility.

I am sorry brother.

"Back to the stars... maybe there I can find you."