Set post s5 e10 "The kindness of strangers".
Questions
Merlin splashed his face with pleasantly cool water and then sat on the grass, gazing at the peacefully flowing stream. He had gathered all the necessary herbs and should return to the castle as quickly as possible if he intended to wake Arthur on time. He knew very well that he couldn't deceive him anymore with silly excuses; he had run out of lies to tell. He had promised himself that the ritual performed at the Cauldron of Arianrhod would be the last powerful endeavor he took on while in disguise. Arthur had practically seen through him, and it was nothing short of a miracle that everything had gone smoothly. The moment of truth was approaching inexorably, transforming from a hazy point somewhere on the horizon into a tangible future. Merlin felt as if he had been told to set the date of his own execution. In a week, in two, at the latest in three. Perhaps tomorrow at sunrise. Or maybe even this evening? Let's get it over with, put an end to this. But maybe he can dip his head into the water and... No, that would be cowardice, and Merlin was no coward. However, there was something enticing about the stream, glistening in the rays of the rising sun, something that tempted him to sit for a moment, though he should hurry.
He breathed in the crystalline, cool air and for a moment felt like he did long ago, back in Ealdor when he and Will went fishing early in the morning at the nearby pond. It was a day very much like this one. Merlin could swear that even a wren was singing just like it did then. And the sky, ablaze with gold and orange, was as beautiful as anything he could create with magic.
He hid his face in his hands. This sky reminded him of Will and their simple friendship, so different from what he shared with Arthur. If they still shared anything.
The past few days had been strange. Arthur had been watching him closely, noticing every detail, every scratch, every leaf in his hair. He asked cautious questions, as if interrogating him. In the evenings, he came to the physician's chambers under some trivial pretext, peering over Merlin's shoulder as he weighed medicinal potions, asking about their purpose. And Merlin was fairly certain that he had ordered the knights to keep an eye on him. The moment of truth was approaching, and he had to take a step before Arthur discovered something. Because it was clear that he suspected something. He needed to preempt him, confess everything of his own volition, not like a traitor with a sword at his throat.
"Hello, Merlin," a cheerful voice resounded. It was Leon, with his crossbow on his shoulder and a hunting dog by his side. Merlin responded to the greeting, trying to summon a smile. As expected, Leon suggested they return to the castle together. He, too, was scrutinizing Merlin, with his penetrating, searching gaze. He didn't say much, didn't ask anything, for which Merlin was grateful. But it was evident that he was contemplating something. Had they talked to Arthur about him? Did they see something? Did they know something? Maybe it was already too late? Would Leon arrest him beyond the citadel walls? Would the next step be the final one, beyond the edge? Would it be like falling off a cliff? Would he endure the pain?
I think of it as a prequel to my other story: "One more step", contained in "The gold coin" series.
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