Chapter Two

Reflection

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CW / descriptions of gore, violence

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Cas left Riften as soon as she was able. She set off for Solitude, her and her horse riding for many days and many nights before finally getting a glimpse of the city, far in the distance. As they passed through Dragon Bridge, she gazed across the twin rivers. This area was home to her, once. It seemed like another lifetime ago since she'd last walked these roads.

As she continued up the road to Solitude, she happened upon a band of Stormcloak soldiers. They hooted and hollered at her as she rode by, and she gritted her teeth. Being back here set her on edge, and she had the fleeting thought of taking a dagger to each of their necks. Instead her cold, lifeless glare was enough to deter them, and they settled back down at their camp, staring at her curiously as she passed. She had become very practiced at rebuffing unwanted attention over the years. Usually, one look was all it took. Usually.

That red-haired thief from Riften was still on her nerves. Brynjolf. He asked too many questions. He leaned in too close. He called her "lass" too much. She'd seen him examining the scars on her cheek, and for the first time in a long time, it made her self-conscious. She'd spent the entire next day concocting ways she could have removed herself from the conversation sooner, even ones that didn't involve killing him in cold blood. Yet, she had to admit that it was the longest conversation with a man—one that didn't involve business, anyway—that she'd had in a long while.

He still got on her nerves, though.

Her thoughts drifted between this aggravating man and the memories of her home as she rode up to the Solitude stables around midday. She hitched her horse there, and walked the rest of the way to the city on foot. Although she hadn't been to Solitude in many years, the city walls were still a familiar sight to her.

Immediately upon entering the gates, all of her senses were hit with the chaos of an execution in progress. She hung back behind the crowd and watched, hearing faint mutterings of this Nord man having let Ulfric Stormcloak escape the city. He stepped forward then, said his piece as the crowd before him jeered, and then laid his neck on the chopping block.

"On this day," the Nord exclaimed, as the executioner swung his axe high over his head, "I go to Sovngarde."

And… there goes his head.

Cas rolled her eyes. She considered beheading one of the more crude ways to off someone. The methods she used were—in her opinion—much more fun.

She glanced at his head rolling across the stone platform for one more moment before she turned and headed into the inn, affectionately named the Winking Skeever. Her contact was in here, somewhere. She knew the girl to be an Imperial, blonde and barely eighteen. She wandered the inn for a minute, glancing at faces as she passed. She finally spotted the girl, sitting alone at a table, fidgeting with her hands.

Cas pulled a letter out of her pack and walked by the girl's table, dropping the parchment casually next to the Imperial before leaving the inn. She walked back out the city gates, and leisurely made her way down to the docks. Then, she waited. If the girl was serious about having the job done, she'd come.

And she did. Cas waited about half an hour before she saw a blonde head bobbing down the steps. They made eye contact, and the Imperial girl approached cautiously.

"Is it true? Has the Dark Brotherhood come?" She looked at Cas then. "You are an assassin, aren't you?"

Cas smiled slightly. "Let's start with your name."

"Ariaene." She looked terribly nervous. Poor girl.

"Cas." She stuck out her hand, and Ariaene shook it timidly. "I am an assassin, but I'm not the Dark Brotherhood. I heard of your story, and I was deeply moved by it. I'd like to assist, if you still want the deed done."

"I do," Ariaene said, her voice calm now, full of conviction. "My father is who… who I want gone. He's terrible, awful, he's…" Her eyes welled up with tears.

"Shhh." Cas reached out, and gently took her hands. "I know. Let me help you."

They sat on the docks together and talked for a long while. Ariaene told Cas about her life—about her mother who had passed from an illness when Ariaene was a child, and about her father and the abhorrent acts he'd subjected her to over the years. Cas felt a strong kinship toward this girl and what she had experienced in her short life, and her fury grew hotter the longer Ariaene discussed every reason she wanted her father dead. Finally, when the sun had begun to dip under the horizon, the pair stood.

Cas rested her hand on Ariaene's shoulder. "You're sure about this?"

Ariaene nodded. "More sure than I've been about anything. I need to… I need to heal, to reclaim my life. I can't do that with him still…" She trailed off.

"I understand," Cas said gently, "more than you know. I'll get it done."

"Oh, Cas?" Ariaene said as Cas went to leave. "Could I ask you to bring me the locket he wears around his neck? It's… the last thing left from my mother. I'd like to have it."

"I can do that." Cas looked at her for a long moment before turning, heading up the steps and back toward the city to carry out the most important contract of her life.

I'm going to enjoy killing this bastard.

Cas decided to approach this contract in a very atypical way. In fact, she was going to approach him and lure him out of the city, to a secluded area somewhere outside of Solitude. She killed most of her targets quickly and efficiently without much fuss, but this man? She wanted him to bleed like a stuck pig, and squeal like one, too. She wanted him to suffer as he'd made Ariaene suffer.

She found him in the Winking Skeever, sitting at a table and nursing a warm ale. She could tell he was already heavily intoxicated, and that would play to her benefit. She loosened her dark hair, letting it fall around her shoulders, before she slid into the seat across from him.

"Hello there."

He glanced up at her, and his eyes went wide in disbelief. "Well, hello. To what do I owe the pleasure?"

"I noticed you were sitting alone, and thought you might enjoy some company." She smiled and leaned in close on her elbows, studying his face. Prick.

"That I would." Her act was working. He gave her a grin in return. "Can I interest you in a drink?"

"Sure."

He bought her an ale, and they sat together for several long minutes, chatting. Well, he did most of the chatting. Cas had a part to play, and that was to make him as interested in her as possible. It felt like fishing. She dangled the lure, and waited for him to take the bait.

After she had finished her drink, she leaned across the table, taking note of the golden locket around his neck. She gave him a sultry smile, and he cocked a curious eyebrow.

"You know, I was thinking," she said, "maybe we could take this somewhere a bit more… private."

His other eyebrow shot up to join the first one. "Say no more." Hook, line, and sinker.

Cas had never genuinely seduced a man in her life, but she wasn't naive to her beauty, and the effect it might have on others if used to her advantage. Right now, she was reaping those benefits as she took his hand, leading him from the bar and out the city gates. They meandered down the road, and she made them take a left at the docks.

"Hey, how far are we going?" he asked, a drunk smile on his face.

"Just a bit more," she said, pulling him by the hand.

They walked a bit farther down the road, before she had them veer off the path and trudge into the woods for a minute. She noted the cheery expression on his face as they walked, and she had to refrain from a smirk.

Finally, they stopped amongst a small grove of trees. She looked up at him from under long lashes as her hands went to the top button of her armor.

"Would you mind turning around for a moment?" she asked. "I'm a bit shy."

"Anything for you, miss." He chuckled, and stumbled a bit as he angled his body away from her.

She paused for a long moment, making sure he wouldn't turn back around, before she quietly unsheathed her dagger. She counted three beats before she lunged, shoving her dagger into the backs of his knees in quick succession. He fell forward onto his shins, and before he could cry out in pain, she slapped a hand over his mouth.

"Shhh," she hushed. "No screaming."

With one palm still stifling his shrieks, she reached forward with her free hand and unclasped the locket from around his neck, sliding it into her pack. Then, she pointed the dagger at him and uncovered his mouth.

He screamed, of course, but they were so far out in the woods that his attempts were futile. Cas waited a minute or two as he lost his resolve. When he finally quieted down, he looked at her with wide eyes.

"W-who are you?"

She sneered. "I'm your worst nightmare."

He tried to stand, to flee, but the wounds in his legs were too deep—he collapsed onto the forest floor again. Cas grabbed his arm, yanking him back into a kneeling position. Then, she took the dagger to his forehead, pressing the point of the blade between his eyes. He yelped, desperately attempting to break free of her grip.

"I want you to beg," she said, her voice taunting.

"P-please," he pleaded, staring up at the dagger glinting in the moonlight. "What do you want? Gold? Jewels? I'll give you anything you desire."

She crouched down and pinned the blade to his neck, softly at first, and then hard enough for a few drops of blood to spill from the soft skin.

"Anything I desire?" she asked

He nodded feebly, a nervous smile on his face. "Anything at all."

"I want your life." She pushed the dagger further into the skin, and his eyes bulged. "I can have that, can't I?"

"N-no," he said weakly. "Please, no. I'm a wealthy man, I have m-many riches. They could all be yours. You don't have to kill me."

"Ah, but that's where you're wrong," she said. "I do have to kill you. In fact, I'm being paid many riches to do so."

"Paid?" He swallowed hard against the dagger. "Paid by who?"

Cas smiled callously, and paused for a moment before she leaned in close to his ear.

"Your daughter sends her regards."

After much anticipation, she slashed the blade hard along his throat, and he made a prolonged gurgling noise before slumping face-first onto the dirt. She stared at him for a few moments as blood pooled under his limp body, and then she reached toward his wrist to check for a pulse. Dead. But she kicked him anyway, for good measure—and because it gave her some satisfaction to do so. Then, she reached into his pockets for any valuables, wiped the bloodied dagger clean on his shirt, and walked away, leaving the corpse for the wolves.

She made her way back to the docks, a satisfied smirk on her face. As twisted as it was, she thought he'd received his comeuppance. As heartless as it seemed, she was happy to see him dead. But as she approached Ariaene, who sat facing toward the water, Cas wondered how the girl would react to the news of her father's death. Would she feel relief? Regret? Sadness? Cas pondered the possibilities for another beat before she cleared her throat, announcing her presence. Ariaene turned expectantly, and then stood, quickly making her way to Cas.

"Has it… has it been done?" she asked warily.

Cas reached into her pack, and then took Ariaene's hand in hers, passing the locket into her palm. "This belongs to you."

Ariaene looked at the locket, and then at Cas, her eyes wide and filled with tears.

"I… don't know what to say." She took Cas's hand again, squeezing it gently. She smiled. "Thank you. Thank you so much."

Cas smiled back. "You're free now."

"Free." Ariaene pondered the word. "Not yet. But… I will be. I can heal now, and then… then I'll truly be free."

Cas understood the sentiment, more than Ariaene could ever know.

"Will you come back to my home?" Ariaene asked. "I have your payment there. And you can stay for the night, if you'd like. I won't have you paying for a room at the inn, not after the service you've done for me."

Cas gave her a soft smile. "I'll take you up on that."

The pair walked back to Solitude together, to Ariaene's home, and they spent the night drinking and enjoying each other's company. Ariaene was a sweet girl, and what she had endured in her eighteen years was harrowing. As Cas finally laid her head down to go to sleep, she took comfort in the fact that she could bring an end to one person's torture, even if her means were unconventional. The world—Ariaene's world—was better off without him in it.

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Cas spent a week in Solitude, staying between Ariaene's home and the inn. Cas didn't want to impose, but the girl insisted. Already she seemed much more lively, and significantly less timid than when the pair had first met. Cas could see her coming out of her shell, and she suspected Ariaene hadn't felt this sure of herself in the decade since her mother's passing.

Finally, on the evening of Loredas, Cas packed her belongings up. Ariaene walked her to the stables, and watched as Cas tied her pack to her horse.

"Are you sure you have to go right now?" Ariaene asked. "You could stay until the morning, at least."

Cas smiled sadly. "Thank you. But I do have something else to attend to, and I'd like to get on my way."

"Alright." Ariaene smiled back. "You're welcome back anytime. Next time you find yourself in Solitude, come visit me. And, here." She extended her hand, an ornate golden locket sitting in her palm.

"Ariaene, I can't accept that," Cas said, surprised.

"The one I'm wearing now is my mother's." She grinned, pointing at the locket clasped around her neck. "We had matching ones made. I want you to have mine."

"Well… alright." Cas took the locket from Ariaene's hand, and fastened it around her own neck. It stood out against the black armor. "Thank you. And I promise, I'll come see you if I happen to be back this way again."

"Good." Ariaene hesitated for a moment before throwing her arms around Cas in a tight embrace. Cas's eyes went wide. She hadn't been hugged by anyone in many years, and she found herself wrapping her arms around the young girl hesitantly in return. "Safe travels, Cas."

Cas mounted her horse, and gave Ariaene a wave as she set off. It was bittersweet. She'd grown to enjoy Ariaene's company, something she hadn't allowed herself to do in a long, long time. But she had to go—there was something important she needed to do.

She rode for a while, with only the sound of her horse's hooves clopping against the ground as companionship. Eventually, she passed through Dragon Bridge, and peered over the twin rivers once again. This time, though, she steered her horse in that direction, crossing first one river and then the other. She met with the path on the other side of the second bridge, and rode just a few minutes longer before she arrived at her destination.

The remnants of a village were before her—dilapidated buildings, and expanses of what was once farmland. She lowered herself from her horse and stood still for a moment, taking in the scene, before she started wandering around the debris.

Broken fence posts lined the trodden path she walked, sticking jaggedly out of the dirt. She imagined where houses once were, and a general store, and where animals were kept. As she came upon a sea of stones lodged deep in the ground, a vice gripped her heart. She walked up to three stones in particular, all in a tight row, and smiled sadly as she crouched before them.

"Hey, Ma… Pa… Wes."

Cas rested her hand on each stone one by one, brushing dirt from the tops. It wasn't a particularly dignified burial, but it was the most she could have done at the time. She stared at the three stones for what felt like ages as memories of a different time flooded her brain. She thought of her mother's soft voice while she served them breakfast, her father's kind eyes as he tilled the farm, and her older brother's arms lifting her up playfully above his head. With a sigh, she finally lowered herself onto the cold ground.

She sat in the same spot for many hours, scrawling away in her notebook under the moonlight. Eventually, with several pages filled, she tucked her notebook away into her pack and leaned back on her hands, staring up at the moons.

This night twelve years ago, everything had changed. Her life had changed completely—she had changed completely. She couldn't recall the girl she had been, before it all, but she relived the anguish that girl had felt every day of her life since.

She closed her eyes, taking in a soft breath.

Happy birthday, Cas.