A/N: Another finale / post-finale one-shot. A positive, happy Charah story, that some think are too prevalent these days!
Sarah had already started to fall for Chuck again before going to the beach. This follows her as she continues that process.
Thanks to Capt LiL for the beta. Much appreciated.
The finale was what drove me to Chuck FanFiction. I really didn't like it. I know that many think differently. The ambiguous ending we watched made me (a pessimist / realist) feel that the failure of the kiss would result in her leaving, for good. I hated that. I write these post-finale stories to give me the ending I wanted instead. So, here we go….
Falling in Love (again)
Sarah Bartowski was slowly getting her memories back. She had been for three weeks, ever since the man who she hardly knew, but was her husband, found her on the beach. A number of memories returned as he described their life together, which helped her with her decision on what to do next. She realized that she needed his help to regain the rest. In spite of feeling completely out of her depth and frightened about the whole concept of marriage, she wanted to stay, rather than run away, as she had planned. Running away was an exaggeration, of course. She had planned to 'find herself' and maybe come back, but in reality it was indeed getting away from the man who terrified her, and he certainly would see it as abandoning him and their marriage.
Of course, that crazy idea of Morgan's about a magical kiss did not pan out. At least, it didn't bring back all her memories, which felt disappointing at the time, even though she knew there was no such thing as magic. However, what the kiss, well kisses really, did do was almost overwhelm her with feelings for Chuck. They were the best kisses she had ever experienced, and she wanted more.
On top of that, in spite of the whole idea of love being effectively programmed out of her by her dad and the CIA, she knew that she was starting to fall for him all over again. Hearing him tell her their story started that. He had a way of talking, when not nervous, that put her at ease and almost entranced her on its own. Then he introduced humor and made her laugh. He was a gifted talker, something she herself never was. She wondered if others were affected by him in the same way.
She moved back into the apartment with him, much to his happiness. That happiness was infectious, so on the first day she found herself dancing for joy with him in the center of the living room. However, she wasn't ready to sleep with him straight away, so she had moved into the spare bedroom. She had slept there ever since.
Chuck had left their business in Morgan and his girlfriend Alex's hands so that he could be with her. Just the fact that they shared ownership of a business and had set it up together, was another learning experience for her, reminding her that the two of them really had left the spy world.
Whenever she had a memory fragment return, she would ask for his help understanding it and for him to tell her when it fit into those five years. Some memories returned whole, but still needed to be fitted into their time together, so even those needed his help.
Initially, he had wanted to do everything for her, absolutely everything. He fussed over her, not letting her do anything. She stopped him after four days because it was altogether too much. She felt smothered by it. After that, they started doing most things together. Shopping, cooking, and even cleaning. It was good. They felt like a team, working perfectly in sync.
At first, living with someone felt very strange. She had done that with others as part of missions, but that had a particular goal, a known endpoint. This was different, it was her life now.
The idea of being married continued to feel wrong, which added to her need to sleep apart. However, she was falling for him more and more, and she felt it wouldn't be long before she moved across the hallway to share his bed with him. Their bed, apparently. That didn't mean they would immediately have sex, but being in the same bed would be a start towards being a real married couple.
Four days later…
Sarah hadn't suggested she share his bed because he asked her to go on a date with him, so sleeping together felt too soon.
"A date?" she asked, giving him a crooked smile. "Isn't that a bit odd when we're married?"
Chuck just looked at her. "Sarah, do you feel married? Or are you just with me for my help with your memories?"
She winced at those words. That had been her main reason for staying at the start. However, she did really enjoy his company and felt lost on the occasions when he went out without her, but he was right to ask. She didn't feel married, but then, she had no idea what that really felt like.
"Chuck, I feel good being here with you. I do need your help, but it's more than that. I can no longer imagine being away from you, and don't want to be."
He took her hands and gave her one of those smiles that warmed her heart. "That's wonderful to hear, Sarah, but I'd still like to take you on a date. Wine and dine you. Maybe some dancing afterward."
She could almost feel her eyes light up. "Dancing?"
He nodded.
"Do we have to eat?" she found herself almost begging. "Couldn't we just go dancing without it?"
He laughed. "Without some food to give me energy, I won't be able to keep up with you."
She pouted for a couple of seconds, then smiled as she let her true feelings out. "I love to dance, which I guess you must know, but a date with you really sounds nice, too."
She had spent the last hour looking through the dresses she owned. She was a jeans girl by nature and had been wearing those or shorts since moving back. Mainly jeans, because she discovered that her legs distracted Chuck too much. That was an interesting thing to discover about her husband, but it was another reminder of what she didn't know, too.
From her memories, dresses were what she wore for missions, but seeing these made her realize that she must have worn them at other times too. Now she wanted to dress up for the date and, once again, was faced with not knowing what he really liked. She was sure he would like her in anything, but she wanted this to be perfect, so not knowing was really frustrating. She almost called his sister to ask, but shied away from that. Her threatening to kill Ellie still weighed heavily on her.
In the end, she decided to wear the salmon-colored dress she found in the wardrobe. It would flow well on her curves.
As she put it on, a memory fragment came back to her, one of feeling disappointed, but she got no more than that. Maybe she hadn't been able to wear it before for some reason, so this time could be a first. As she looked at herself in the mirror, it really did look good on her. She sat and put on the appropriate makeup, and sorted her hair out, then felt she was ready.
As she walked out of her room, she noticed him in the living room. He was pacing. She realized he was nervous. This date was important to him and he was anxious about it. That drove her actions. She rushed to him and grabbed his hands, forcing him to stop and just look her way. His hands were sweaty which she guessed supported her assumption.
She looked at his outfit. He was wearing dark pants and smart shoes, both new to her as he always wore jeans, t-shirts and chucks. He'd coupled that with a white button down and a light-blue tie. He looked fantastic in it, so she told him that. She couldn't stop her hands gravitating to his tie, adjusting it slightly, although there was nothing wrong with it.
He hardly noticed because he was focusing on her. "Oh my God, Sarah. I've always loved you in that dress," he breathed out.
She stepped back and said, "I got a memory fragment when I put it on. I assumed the disappointment I felt was because I hadn't been able to wear it for you."
He blushed and told her the story. "Oh, you wore it and looked stunning. It was before we were together. The previous evening, I had come to your hotel room, bearing flowers and wine, thinking, wrongly, that I had a chance of wooing you. When I got there, Bryce had turned up. We were to go on a mission apparently, and you would be pretending to be his wife. I left, thoroughly dejected because he seemed to be back together with you. The next day, I came back before we went on the mission. You were wearing that dress. He was still in your room and I just assumed the two of you were sleeping together again. You looked at me, I found out later that you had worn the dress because you thought I'd like it. However, when you asked how you looked, my jealousy kicked in. I said you looked good, but I didn't like red. That comment was what caused your disappointment."
A more complete memory came back and she experienced that scene. She hadn't slept with Bryce, but Chuck hadn't known that. She wondered why she didn't tell Chuck. "Should I change? Does it bother you seeing me in it?"
He held onto her hands. "Please don't. You look absolutely stunning, just as you did back then. I think you look better in this dress than any other. I can see you in it tonight and know I stand more of a chance with you than I did back then. I'll even dance with this goddess, unlike Bryce doing it. Hopefully, I won't disappoint you."
She suddenly remembered dancing with Bryce, wearing the dress. His hands were all over her because of the dance, but she was focusing on the mission and only just now realized how it must have looked to Chuck. "I'm sorry I was with Bryce. Did the mission go well?"
He snorted. "No. At least not then. Worse, you got hurt trying to protect me and ended up staying at the hospital."
She had another memory fragment of him turning up with flowers. Her favorite, white gardenias. She smiled. "You brought me my favorite flowers."
"Which disappeared under the mountain of flowers Bryce had gotten for you," he said. "I commented that I always came second best to Bryce Larkin."
She remembered. "And I said, 'Not always.' I loved your flowers and the sentiment behind them far more than any of the CIA purchased ones from Bryce. For me, it was recognizing my feelings for you, although I couldn't actually say that."
She moved closer and brushed her hands down his shirt. "Well, like then, I'm wearing this dress for you, Chuck."
"God, I love you," he said.
She couldn't resist teasing him. "All it takes is me wearing this dress and you gush. You're too easy, Mr. Bartowski."
"I always have been for you, Sarah," he whispered as he pulled her to him.
And she knew that was true. He'd always loved her, whatever she wore, but his words and the embrace felt really good.
As she sat opposite Chuck on their date, Sarah couldn't help thinking of all the times she'd been taken to fine restaurants like this, on assignments. Usually taken by some self-important low-life, but sometimes by self-important operatives. Bryce did that when they were posing as the Andersons. Even with Bryce, who she did like at the time, she never enjoyed the company as much as she did her husband that evening.
Initially, he was still nervous, but that made him talk. A lot. However, that wasn't a bad thing. She found that, even when he was nervous, she enjoyed listening to him. The only thing she wanted to change was how self-deprecating he was. But, even then, he made her laugh, which he seemed to appreciate.
"Do you like my laugh?" she asked.
"It's one of the most beautiful sounds, Sarah. I love it!"
She looked into his eyes and saw nothing but love for her. "Hence why you try to make me laugh?"
He blushed. "I do like to hear your laugh and to make you happy, but humor is how I cope with being nervous." He looked down at the table.
She reached over and took his hand. "This date isn't a make or break situation, Chuck. I'm not leaving you."
He nodded, but took a deep breath. "I know that, but part of me, my insecurities, make me think you might change your mind and I have to win your heart again."
She realized he was doing just that, and felt she should be more open about it. She gripped his hand a bit tighter. "Chuck, I feel you are already winning my heart again." She held his gaze, willing him to see that.
She loved the smile that appeared. "Thank you, Sarah." They just stared at each other for several moments. Sarah felt like she was sinking into those gorgeous eyes of his. How could she ever have thought of leaving him? Then, a smirk formed on his face. "I can't help reinforcing that feeling, though."
She grinned. "Reinforce away, Chuck."
After that, he relaxed and became less nervous as he talked. Once again, just like on the beach, she found listening to him to be mesmerizing.
When they got to the nightclub, there was a long queue outside. She thought they'd give up, but Chuck led her to the front of the queue. The bouncer looked at her. "Been a while Mrs. Bartowski. Welcome back." He looked at Chuck and nodded. "Mr. Bartowski."
He was about to let them in, but Chuck stopped. "Lenny, how many times do I have to remind you? It's Chuck and Sarah."
Lenny grinned. "I'm not supposed to be so informal with customers, Chuck."
Chuck grinned back. "But you'll make this one exception."
"Just get in there and stop trying to get me into trouble," Lenny replied.
Once inside, they were greeted by another man. "Oh, it's our star dancers!"
Sarah was a bit surprised, but Chuck laughed. "Hi, Jason. How's it going?"
"Good, and when people see you two on the dance floor, it'll draw them all out there."
As they walked further in, she asked, "We came here a lot?"
"As often as we could," he replied. He looked at her in a way that made her smile. "The most beautiful woman in the world loves to dance, so she did."
"And you?" she questioned. "Do you love to dance?"
"Only with you," he replied. "When you're happy, so am I."
"You know I want to kiss you for saying that." She looked up at him through her lashes.
He stopped walking and took her in his arms. She reached up with both hands and held his face. The heels she was wearing made them closer in height, so it was easy to kiss him.
The kiss was tender, but their feelings were definitely obvious to each other. Every kiss with him felt wonderful. She reminded herself that she needed to kiss him more. This one lengthened and she had to stop herself from opening her mouth or they'd never get to dance, just stand there kissing until asked to move. She felt breathless as she pulled away.
He grasped her hand and said, "Come on." He pulled her to a booth and they sat down.
A waitress, Rachel, her name tag stated, walked over to them. "Hi, you two. I take it you don't want drinks until you come back from dancing?"
Sarah nodded. She didn't recognize the woman, but leaving drinks alone was risky. Anyone could spike them.
"Usual?" Rachel asked.
"Please, Rachel," Chuck answered.
"Okay. Give me the nod," Rachel replied and wandered off.
"Our usuals?" Sarah asked.
He grinned and nodded. Sarah dropped her jacket on the seat, as did Chuck and he led her to the dancefloor.
As they got back to the booth, Rachel walked over bringing two glasses of water, a red wine and a beer.
Sarah looked at Chuck. "Prefer wine, huh?"
He looked at her and realized she was teasing. "Only with meals. If I want to get drunk faster than beer, shots are the best."
She raised a brow. "And why would you do that?"
He blushed and looked down.
She lifted his chin up, realizing this was not something she should ask, but couldn't help it. "Did I drive you to drink?"
"Sometimes," he admitted. "Sometimes the stupid things I did caused it, and then the whole losing you really did."
She edged closer and cupped his cheek. "Never again, Chuck. I'm staying for good."
"Thank you, Sarah," was all he could say.
She decided to change the subject, sat back and grabbed the water to take a long drink. "I don't think I have ever enjoyed dancing more."
He smiled. "You are a wonderful dancer, Sarah, and seem to go into your own little world with a dreamy look on your face."
She thought about that. "I was in my own little world, but you were there with me, making it an even happier place than normal." She held his gaze. "And you are a really good dancer yourself. The perfect partner for me."
He smiled. "I was trained by the best."
"I want a slow dance with you," she said.
He grinned. "That'll come."
They sat and quietly talked while they drank. Sarah had almost finished both the wine and the water, when the tempo of the music changed. She didn't recognize the song, but it was a slow one.
She grabbed his hand and pulled him onto the dancefloor.
There was something really gratifying about being held close by her husband, their bodies pressed together as they slowly moved. She liked the aftershave he wore, but that wasn't as good as how their bodies just seemed to mold into each other. His left hand in the center of her lower back and his other against her shoulder blades, pulling her in. She could almost feel her worries and doubts slipping away in his embrace. In spite of the fact that she had never needed it, she felt protected in his embrace.
She rested her head in the crook of his neck and swayed with him in a very happy haze.
When the song ended, she had no hesitation as he released her. She leaned up and kissed him. A tender kiss, but full of feeling.
As she pulled away, he just looked at her. All his love was fully on display. She smiled. "Other than a waltz, I can't imagine a better dance with you," she said.
"Oh. We've tangoed too," he replied, grinning. "Even the lambada."
She was shocked. "You can do both of those?"
He chuckled. "Well, I learned the tango from Devon, although I was in the female part, but that time when Bryce joined us, I had to watch you in the lambada with him. I lost myself and nearly ruined the mission as I watched his hands all over you." She remembered that and winced. "After that, I took dancing lessons so that I could dance with you. When we were married we did that, sometimes out and… sometimes at home."
He blushed when he said that last bit. She guessed why. She couldn't help grinning and asking, "And did the dancing at home lead to the bedroom?"
He blushed a bit more and muttered, "Maybe."
By this time, they were back at their booth and she sat next to him. She softly said, "I'm pretty sure we'll do that again, Chuck." He looked at her and she held his gaze. "Maybe not yet, but my feelings for you are getting stronger and stronger. You're fully capturing my heart again, Chuck."
He leaned over and gently placed his hand on the side of her jaw and kissed her. Another of his wonderful tender kisses. She never wanted the kiss to stop.
"Get a room!" someone said. They parted and she saw a man's back moving away after passing them.
She turned back to Chuck. "I'm not ready for that yet, but can we share a bed tonight? Maybe you could hold me?"
"Anything for you, Sarah," he replied. "But I don't want to rush you."
She gave him a quick peck on his lips. "Thank you, Chuck. For your patience, and for your love."
She looked at her watch. "Shall we head home?"
"Don't you want to dance more?" he said, genuinely surprised.
"We can come dancing anytime," she replied. "We have some cuddling to do tonight." She stood and held out her hand for him.
As they walked out, she was glad he didn't point out they could cuddle anytime. She also thought how natural using that word felt even though she never remembered saying it before. Another change over those five years, she guessed.
When they got back to the apartment, she realized she didn't know what to wear to go to bed with him.
She had a memory return of her walking into his room in a trench coat. Underneath she was wearing a purple bra and panties set with a transparent nighty over it. It was early in their cover relationship, before they were 'together.' She was there to make Ellie and Devon think they were having sex. Chuck had assumed they really were going to.
She made some derogatory remark at his having candles lit around the room, creating a mood she hadn't expected. Chuck had just put out candles and she took off the coat. Chuck looked at how she was dressed and just stared, but didn't look happy. "What?" she asked.
He replied, "You're giving me crap about lighting some candles and you come in wearing that?"
She looked down at what she was wearing. "What, this? This is part of my cover." She thought it was appropriate for a girlfriend.
Chuck snarked, "Well, it doesn't cover a thing." That wasn't true. All he shouldn't see at that time in their relationship was covered. Just.
Sarah was frustrated but explained to him, "And what if Ellie or awesome were to walk in? This is exactly what a girlfriend would wear to seduce her boyfriend. I am just being professional." Playing the role to her best, she meant.
Chuck's next words upset her. "Yeah.… The world's oldest profession."
She glared at him. "Oh.… Well, that's real nice, Chuck."
She shook her head at the memory. She knew now that he had been in love with her from the start and desired her. This event made that worse for him and must have triggered his reaction. Maybe she was also frustrated that they couldn't do anything about the desire that she felt, too.
All this made her realize how much their current situation must be affecting his desire for her. She had accepted that he loved her, and was edging that way herself, but she hadn't thought about his physical desire for her. She had no idea how good their sex life had been but it must have happened a lot over their time together. Now he was with her, but unable to do that. It must be very difficult for him.
She wondered whether she should just let it happen. That was how it had started with Bryce, but she knew that it would be very different with Chuck. She wanted to be ready, to desire it herself, so that it could be the best possible for both of them. That triggered another thought, unfortunately. Chuck knew everything she enjoyed. From what she already knew of him, she believed that his years of experience as her lover would make him an expert at making it wonderful for her. She knew nothing about his needs. Some things would obviously work, but her lack of knowledge of what made it best for him eluded her. That got her frustrated once again.
She grabbed a pair of panties and a loose t-shirt and dressed in those. She wondered about something to cover her legs, but decided that was going too far.
She questioned that last thought as she walked into the bedroom. Chuck was lying in bed and looked over at her. His eyes dropped to her long bare legs and his jaw dropped.
She knew her panties would be hidden by the t-shirt so it was just her legs that triggered his response. "Should I get something to cover my legs?" she asked, feeling very nervous.
He looked up and blushed. "I'm sorry, Sarah. I shouldn't have stared. You look amazing and I couldn't help myself."
She felt irritated now. Not with him, but with herself. "Chuck, we're married. You should be able to look at me and my legs. You should be able to do a whole lot more, but I'm just not ready yet."
He smiled at that. The word 'yet' obviously meant so much to him. "Sarah, please just come to bed. I won't be tempted to gawp at your legs when they're covered by the sheet."
That made her feel better, but also triggered a tease. "And what if I get hot and kick that off?"
He grinned, knowing it was a tease. "If I wake up and see them, then you may find me sitting up staring at them when you wake."
His words were in jest, but she knew there was some truth and suffering behind those words.
She climbed into bed and covered her legs before moving closer to him and giving him a hug. "I've not thought before tonight how difficult it must be for you. Seeing me, but not being able to do the things you used to before."
"It's not your fault, Sarah. Don't be upset with yourself about it," he replied as he hugged her.
She noticed he hadn't denied that he was struggling with this. She also noticed that he was also wearing a t-shirt. She wondered if that was normal or if he'd put it on because she was going to be here. She wasn't going to ask and make things more awkward, but she wondered if they slept naked together in the past.
There were only two thin t-shirts between their bodies as they held each other, but that may have reminded him of what he was missing. "Is me being in bed with you, but you being unable to take it further, making it harder for you?" she tentatively asked.
He snorted. "Interesting choice of words."
She realized what he meant and blushed. She hadn't noticed anything, so that was obviously just his humor. However, it did make her wonder, before she controlled her thoughts.
"It's wonderful having you in here with me, Sarah. It's been difficult for me with you sleeping in the other room. Each morning, I'd wake up and wonder whether you're still there, or if you've just got up and left."
She gasped and pulled away to be able to look at him. "I've told you. I'm not leaving."
"Sarah, I am a mass of insecurities and self-doubts. For a long time after we were finally together, every day I expected to be our last. I could never understand how someone as perfect as you could want me."
She crashed her lips to his and kissed him forcefully. After a while, he opened his lips and she pushed her tongue in to caress his. She moved on top of him and lengthened the kiss.
Eventually, they both needed to breathe. As she lifted her lips from his, she said, "You're the most wonderful man I have ever known. I want to be with you, and only you. I fully understand how my former self felt back then when her love for you was so much stronger. Don't ever doubt that I will stay."
He pulled her down into another kiss.
She started to experience feelings other than just their lips together. Her bare legs were on his equally bare legs. He seemed to be wearing boxers under his t-shirt. She also noticed how warm his feet were. Her cold ones resting on them.
She liked the feeling of her breasts pressing against his chest and the feeling of what was lower pressing against her. She wasn't ready to take this further, and needed to climb off of him, to stop that, but she was sure that sex with Chuck would be wonderful.
She slid off to her side of the bed. "I feel like an awful tease, Chuck," she confessed. "Lying on top of you like that and then moving away."
He rolled onto his side, facing her. "Sarah, it was wonderful. I'm not rushing you. You being here is wonderful. Every bit of contact we do have, fills me with joy. I love everything about you and always will."
That brought tears to her eyes and she leaned over to gently kiss him again. "Thank you, Chuck. You are so good, so tolerant. I am really appreciative."
They lay on their respective sides of the bed, both in thought, and finally drifted off to sleep.
Sarah woke up in a very different position to how she went to sleep. At some point in the night, she had rolled over to face Chuck. He was still lying on his back, as he had been when he went to sleep, but she had moved to the center of the bed. Her head was now resting on his chest, her right arm and leg sprawled across him and her left leg pressing against his with that foot hooked under his.
The initial panic quickly wore off as she realized how good this felt. She usually woke with cold feet and they were being warmed by his body, but it was more than that. Being basically wrapped around him calmed her. Made her feel good.
She felt him stir and knew he was waking when he tensed up beneath her. "I'm awake, Chuck. This feels good to me. Are you uncomfortable?"
"No, no," he quickly replied. "I was just surprised, that's all."
Sarah leaned over and kissed her husband. He really was great to kiss. She felt she could get lost in them, which should worry her, but she squashed such thoughts and just enjoyed them. Would sex be the same?
Her friend Carina used her body as another tool and had sex with marks. Sarah had never let seduction missions get that far. She would be too vulnerable if they actually had sex. She was sure that with Chuck it would be different, but now she thought about it, she didn't really know what he was like in that situation. However, she must have enjoyed it or she wouldn't have married him, would she?
All these questions swirled around in her head after they separated. These weren't ones she would ask him to clarify, especially as some were her own fears.
He was watching her as she went quiet, contemplating these things. She had to put his mind at rest. "Sorry, Chuck. I spiraled off there after your wonderful kiss."
"Nowhere dark, I hope," he replied.
She couldn't tell him all of it. "No. Just wishing I knew what the other Sarah thought about us. You will only know what she told you, so can't really help."
"You did open up, but talking about your feelings was never a comfortable thing for you to do."
She noticed he emphasized 'you' rather than 'her.' He saw no difference between the two of them. Initially, that had felt wrong, but as she spent more time with him, and particularly as memories returned, she was feeling more like her. She could now understand how she had fallen for Chuck, as she was going through that now, and even being married to him felt right. "Thank you for the date and the dancing, Chuck. I really enjoyed both. You're wonderful to me."
He smiled. She thought he was just going to accept the praise, but then he smirked. "I even got you back into our bed."
She laughed. She loved how he said it. 'Back into our bed.' However, that sort of phrase was normally associated with something other than sleep. "I'm sorry, I'm holding back on being more intimate, Chuck."
"When you're ready, my love."
And that was it. He wasn't rushing her, but surely he was missing it. "Chuck, just how frustrated are you? We must have had sex a lot."
He blushed and looked away. "I can wait," he replied.
He hadn't answered her question. She grasped his chin and pulled him back to face her and repeated the question. He really didn't want to answer, which was an answer in itself.
"I don't really know what's holding me back, Chuck," she confessed. "I am sure it will be good or it could have been a blocker for us."
"Oh, it's good!" he said.
She decided to open up more. "That's part of the problem, Chuck. You know my body intimately and what I like in bed. I have no idea for you."
He took hold of her hand. "Sarah, everything we did was wonderful. I loved all of it."
"But I want to give you what you had with her… me… back then," she replied. "You deserve it."
"If we do start again-" he said.
She stopped him there. "I'm sure we will, Chuck."
He smiled and nodded. "When we start again, it will be wonderful, just as it was the first time." His eyes said the same thing.
With her palm gently touching the side of his face, she kissed him again. "I think it will." She decided she was being ridiculous putting it off. However, she wasn't going to make a promise and then back out. If it felt right, spontaneity would be better.
"Let's get up and start the day, Chuck."
That day, probably because of their conversation, she had a series of memories return. Each of them including kisses and some a whole lot more.
The first, they had discussed before. It was when they had found themselves in a warehouse with a device that looked like a huge, old-fashioned bomb with a timer ticking down to zero. She couldn't die without him knowing how she felt about him. As a woman of action, she didn't try telling him, she just grabbed him with both hands and passionately kissed him. He was shocked initially, but then quickly kissed back, just as desperately. God, it was a great kiss. Much more powerful than their cover kisses.
She knew this one from her mission log where she stated, 'I kissed him.' It was foolish giving away her feelings to something her boss could watch. It had obviously overwhelmed her common sense.
As she discussed it with Chuck, he admitted it had overwhelmed him too. He looked away, not wanting to expand on that. She pushed him. It came as no surprise to her that she withdrew back into her role, pretending it hadn't happened, because otherwise she would be sent away. She should have found a way to explain that to Chuck, but hadn't. Chuck didn't understand enough and just felt hurt when she refused to take it further. She apologized for that and although he brushed it off, she was sure that must have caused friction back then.
The second memory was of a kiss in front of Roan Montgomery, of all people. All she got was an even more passionate kiss, from him this time.
It had made her desperate to take him to bed and have sex, it was that powerful. She'd had to excuse herself and get to the bathroom to recover in private. She had never felt so turned on, and she was at the memory, too. Somehow, she stopped herself from the action this time too, because she really needed his explanation of the event.
When he told her that it was to prepare him to seduce an enemy agent, she felt angry and he had to fully outline the mission and why it was so important. By the end of that, her ardor had disappeared.
The next memory was of the two of them in some seedy motel bedroom. It was a longer memory. She woke up in the bed lying on her side. Her hand on Chuck's and she had her fingers intertwined with his. Chuck was lying right behind her, his breath on her neck. She felt completely content having slept better than she had for a long time. That was all because of him being with her.
She caressed his hand and she sensed that he woke. She looked around at him and he looked in her eyes. The emotion she saw was love and desire. She felt that desire and they both acted in unison. She turned and their lips met. The kiss was full of passion. Both wanted more passion. They were completely aligned on that. She was already breaking the law, having helped him escape being taken away to a bunker, so she was not going to hold back.
They were about to have sex and she was desperate for it. However, he separated from her and got out of the bed, rushing to the bathroom. She just lay there panting after the kisses. When he returned, she knew they'd both get what they had waited so long for. The memory stopped there, frustratingly.
She had to talk about this memory with him. "Chuck, did we first have sex in a motel?"
He blushed. "No, we didn't. We nearly did, but two things stopped us." He told her about the missing condom in his wallet and the IOU from Morgan that replaced it.
She laughed out loud at this crazy situation. "Chuck, all female CIA are on birth control to prevent unwanted pregnancies if they can't control their marks."
He frowned, but nodded. "I know that now, but I didn't then. I was gutted and hated Morgan at that moment. However, it was just as well we didn't, as Casey burst in on us. He'd been sent to capture us."
"So, that was the other thing you mentioned?" she asked. He nodded. She had to know now. "So, when did we?"
He gave her more details about Shaw and Paris. How he did the one thing he never wanted to do because he thought he'd lose her. He shot and thought he'd killed Daniel Shaw to save her from being dropped into the River Seine, already nearly unconscious.
"You saved me?" she asked.
He smiled. "That's exactly what you said back then, when you woke in my bed."
That memory returned to her. She remembered sitting up to kiss him and then General Beckman starting a video call and appearing on his laptop screen. The woman wanted them back in the States, but by mutual agreement they stopped the call and crashed their lips together.
"I'm in one of your shirts and nothing else!" she noticed.
He blushed. "It had been raining and you were soaked. I had to get you out of your clothes to dry off."
"So, you've already seen me naked," she stated.
"I hardly looked," he said.
She unbuttoned the shirt. "Well, you can look now, but you need to get your clothes off too."
He did, and she loved what she saw. He loved her naked body too. She expected them to have sex immediately. She was ready for it, but he had other ideas. He dropped his head down between her legs and worshiped her. That was the best way to describe what happened. The memory stopped there.
She was flushed at what she had remembered. "Oh my god, Chuck. You pleasured me before we had sex!"
"Sarah, I have always wanted to make it the best for you that I can."
Wow! You certainly did then!" she said. "I hope we did have sex too."
His eyes lit up. "Did we ever. Both in that room and when we escaped on a train to Zurich."
A series of memories hit her. Sex in a cabin on the train. Multiple times, various positions, often with passionate kisses. Joined at both ends, as it were. They were exploring each other and what they liked together. Each memory was amazing, certainly the best sex she had ever had. "Oh my god, Chuck! Such amazing sex!"
"It's more than just sex, Sarah. It's two people in love, making love to each other. It was then, even though you didn't call it that back then."
She looked at him. "Mister, tonight we're going to have a replay. You are definitely making love to me."
"Are you sure?" he asked.
Just the question reminded her of his nature. He was certainly desperate for it, but wanted to make sure she wanted it before they did. That made her feel guilty for her words. "Chuck, it's not just about me. I feel bad now for demanding it. If we both feel ready, please will you make love to me?"
He gently kissed her before replying. "Something you'll learn about me is that I am always ready to make love to my gorgeous wife."
"Early to bed, then," she said with a grin.
She wondered about going straight there, but then received two memories. The first was of him proposing to her in a hospital corridor. He bent down on one knee and showed her the engagement ring she still had. He hardly got the words out before she dropped off the chair she was sitting in, kneeled in front of him and kissed him for a long, long time. He had mentioned this in his monologue on the beach, but now she fully remembered it.
The second memory almost overlapped with the first, although she knew there was a fair amount of heartache between them. They had just said their vows at their wedding and they kissed for the first time as husband and wife. Her emotions were running high. She was over the moon. Marrying the man that she had loved for years.
Sarah now felt just as emotional. She pulled him closer and kissed him, all her love for him fully restored. She put everything into that kiss, and he returned it.
As they separated, she told him about those two memories.
"We have a video of the wedding, if you want to see it," he suggested.
She pulled him out of the dining room chair and away from their breakfast. "Now, please."
She watched the video from beginning to end three times making no attempt to hold back the happy tears that flowed.
When she looked at Chuck, he was equally emotional.
"I love you, Chuck Bartowski."
"I love you too, Sarah Bartowski."
They didn't last until the evening. They went to bed after that third viewing.
He did indeed repeat the performance in Paris. Her cries would have woken the neighbors if they'd been at home during the day.
Then, they made love. It was the best experience of her life. He was right, the pure physical act was just part of it. The emotional bond made it so much better.
They made love all day and into the night, stopping only to refuel briefly with food. Each time was amazing.
When they finally drifted off to sleep, they were still naked, wrapped up in each other's arms.
The previous morning, she'd woken up sprawled across her husband. Today, she did the same, but this time they were both naked. It was so much better!
They had made love so many times during the last twenty hours that she had lost count. It felt like they were trying to make up for lost time since their last time, which apparently had been on a bullet train in Japan shortly before Quinn had captured her. She guessed their time in Paris and on that train to Zurich was the same, making up for all the lost time together.
She had no doubt now that her physical attraction to him was far more than that. She loved his mind as much as his body and what he did to her. They were perfect together, in every way. She hoped that never diminished. She doubted that would happen as it hadn't to her original self after Paris, whether they were with each other or not.
Emotionally, she was possibly in an even better state than BQ, as she labeled the time before losing her memory, Before Quinn. She now had the perspective of relearning her feelings for Chuck which confirmed that she was very much in love with him, but she didn't have the anxieties from before about whether knowing more about her would alienate him. She knew it didn't.
Mentally, she felt dependent on him, as only he could help her restore and understand her memories. She felt she was a burden on him for that, but he said he enjoyed reliving those memories together. She could see that in his eyes. She still had gaps in her memory, but she was sure that with Chuck's help she would regain most, if not all.
The only thing she wanted to change was his self-doubt. What they had achieved over those five years were largely thanks to him, not the Intersect. He was brilliant and just didn't see it. That was something she would work on.
Three months later…
Chuck and Sarah had visited her mom, which was an emotional reunion. For Sarah it was only a few weeks since she had left the baby with her and thought she would never see either of them again.
That baby was now an adorable five-year-old girl who had met the two of them only a few months earlier.
After seeing the gorgeous little girl that was now her sister, Molly, it made Sarah want a child of their own. Particularly, after watching Chuck with her. He was wonderful with her and Molly obviously adored him, but she clearly loved her older sister too and wanted to spend time with her. Sarah fell in love with her and vowed to visit these two wonderful people, who meant so much to her, as often as possible.
After returning home from that visit, they had decided to take a long vacation to assist with reclaiming her memory. Being the owners of the company meant they were answerable to none but each other, so they planned where they wanted to go and set off.
The first stop was Chicago to see his sister. Sarah had been very nervous about meeting the woman she had threatened. However, her sister-in-law had been so kind and both she and her husband assured Sarah they didn't blame her for what had happened and were so glad that she was recovering herself.
Ellie also confided in Sarah that she was so happy that her sister-in-law was reunited with her brother.
While there. Ellie, the foremost authority on the Intersect technology, ran tests on Sarah. The results were great. Whatever Quinn had done, there now seemed to be no remaining trace of the Intersect in Sarah's head. She was free of it. That was an enormous relief which enabled them to relax and just enjoy the family time.
For the following eight weeks, they visited many of the locations of missions during the missing five years. Many of these had been in the United States, but some abroad as well. They did all this in disguise to make sure they weren't recognized by any of the people from previous visits. They didn't want to stir up any bad feelings or be in danger.
The results were a great success, with far more of her memories regained.
They were now back in Los Angeles, and back at work. She loved the company and its plans. Their plans, she reminded herself. While away, she and Chuck had spent time discussing the future for Carmichael Industries and had decided to move it away from the old Buy More and the basement Castle. So, they were looking for new offices.
Casey had been invited back to work with them, but he was still in Europe with Gertrude Verbanski and they weren't sure when they would return to the States. Chuck and Sarah would hold the vacancy open for him.
They had also decided to move away from the apartment complex in Echo Park and buy a house, but that was on hold until the other move was complete and the Buy More sold off. Then, they would know how much they had to spend on their new home.
The desire for a child of their own, was also a focus now. This idea would never have occurred to Sarah before being with Chuck. She still worried that she wouldn't be a good mom, but Chuck had assured her that no one else felt that way. Both Ellie and her mom had concurred with that. So, they were 'working' at starting a family. She was no longer on birth control and hoped she would soon get pregnant.
There were a lot of changes ahead, but she and Chuck weren't just a couple, they were a great team, and she knew that everything would be successful.
She had fallen in love with Chuck Bartowski twice and she couldn't be happier. Her life was wonderful.
A/N: I could have split this into two chapters, but decided to put it all out in one.
I hope you enjoyed reading this one-shot as much as I did writing it. I know some won't because they want angst! Sorry folks, I'm not a fan of angst.