Time passed by as the sun rose and set. How are you doing? My eyes now rest on the red sun, on your figure, on the yellow words on the page:
The light of friendship is like phosphorescence, when it is dark around the most exposed.
I must tell you that I have found a new friend when you are not with me, who, like you, loves to talk and laugh, and I am sure she will take the opportunity to talk for hours by herself when no one is to disturb her. I mean, you might think I'm out of my mind, but you know, you're half a dog with her. I am actually quite happy, can in a strange environment quickly make friends, talking and laughing together, to the classroom, to the canteen, to the dormitory.
For a moment, I think this can fill the vacancy of you in my heart, and will gradually integrate into the family of the new class. But what I didn't expect was that she and I ended up in a bad way. You once said I was too naive. Now I think again, indeed, how can there be two identical leaves in the world?
You are not like her. She was pegging me to braid my hair, holding my black hair in both hands, pulling and twisting, my face contorted with pain. I remember pleading, reaching behind me to stop her, but she kept pushing my hand away with more and more force, and my eyes were involuntarily filled with tears. I didn't know about her, but I knew in hindsight that she was hurting me.
I know you would never do such a thing. Although you also like to tie your hair in my back, your hands are smart and powerful, and I don't feel too much pain. Then I'll unwrap it quietly when you're not looking, and you'll look back and laugh and make it up for me.
When I broke up with her, I could not make any friends. The girls in the class were used to getting together in twos and threes, and I inserted myself into the group only to feel ignored, excluded unconsciously or intentionally. Then I would be alone again, watching from a distance beside them, walking silently in front of or behind them. It seems that their joy is contagious to me.
I know why - students with good grades are more or less awe-inspiring and unapproachable. Unfortunately, I couldn't say anything humorous, I was a little slow to interact with people, and I didn't know what to do with sudden conflicts, so I couldn't help but lash out when she was rude to me. After two people to meet again feel embarrassed, look at each other and speechless, simply ignore the contradiction, became the students who do not see the head.
I think of you every single time - walking through classrooms, playgrounds, cafeterias and dorms alone, with people watching and whispering behind their backs, and no one willing to help... I will think of you, you will smile to hold my cold hand, in my side and I walk side by side, warm palms. Maybe heaven heard my voice, I met you in that place, you suddenly patted my shoulder behind me, my eyes then reflected the shadow of your smile, a heart to fly to the clouds, my heart has thousands of words to tell, but in the face of you but speechless. I want you to be happy, and what I'm talking about is the opposite of what I want.
But you still remember me, on your birthday, came to my dormitory to share a piece of cake with me, I was so surprised to look at you, that I thought to say happy birthday to you after you left. Later, you told me you were in Class 15. In a generally high-achieving class. That's when I knew there was a corridor between us. I went to ask you to borrow a book, I did not bring the music book, the teacher will see the scold people to stand, that would be too humiliating. I hurried to the door of your classroom before the evening repair, my eyes turned inside and saw you, I took a breath, but I could not get in, soon the evening repair, I wander around the door of your classroom, several times rushed to the door can barely stop, how I hope you can notice me, notice that I am outside the door, only five or six steps away, But you've been hanging out with people laughing and talking. I stood outside the door, and I really felt a gulf between you and me. People who came out gave me strange looks and didn't say anything. I closed my eyes, turned and left.
In music class, I stood and sang loudly: "How can we forget the old friends, the heart can not miss... Auld lang Syne -"
Between us to meet less and less, like the sand in the hourglass of time irreversible loss, let me hold in vain, the memory of the hand. And you made new friends. I knew it was going to happen. I saw her walking with you, taking my place by your side. We passed each other without a word, I couldn't help looking back at your back, my eyes overflowing with sadness, I know you no longer need me, no longer need my company. You'll never braid my hair, talk to me, or care about me again. We became a passer-by in each other's life. But you still have a place in my heart!
I can only hold in hand a little time can not take away, looking at the picture outside the picture inside you. After a long time, do you remember this picture? A parent took it the last time we were together. I went home to search my phone for a long time, but did not see our group photo, but in addition to the class photo, the only one only me and you. I squinted through it again, and in a corner I found the picture of you sitting in your seat, arms propped up on the table, your head cocked and your fingers stretched out in a pose. Why are you the only one in the picture? I was there by your side! I know that I am silent in front of people, body thinner than yellow flower, some people will not like me. However, I really hope that there is a picture of you and I have been time to erase the smile.
But luckily, I got a picture of you, didn't I? I still remember that when my memoir was published, a big picture of you was projected in front of the classmates. Although I was a little embarrassed, your face at that time was very smiling. I think I was grinning and patting you on the shoulder.
Soon we'll be saying goodbye again, forever. But you can rest assured that I will try my best to meet people and keep moving forward, catching up with time and your footsteps. I will put the memory between us in my heart, wish to meet again in the future.
Because I believe that the phosphorescent light you give me will bring me warmth and hope when everything is dark.
How about you? Will you answer my letter?
Wish you:
Success in school leads to success in everything
Your friend: Sakura snow gentleman
February 12, 2023