ALICENT I

Alicent hated everyone at this time, as she walked to the makeshift altar of the Dragonpit.

She hated the king for forcing her into such a wedding. She hated Daemon for committing the stupidity of lying with Rhaenyra. She hated herself for letting herself be manipulated like a pawn on a board. And she hated her father for starting this problem and abandoning her at the bitter end.

Even the best of sailors abandon the ship when it is sinking. That's me, a ship sinking into misery

Her father had left shortly after the King deposed him as the Hand of the King and cancelled his own engagement with her to commit her to Prince Daemon Targaryen.

"Stay, please. You can't leave me alone. Not now. I have no one left" she had begged to Otto Hightower.

"I cannot stay, my daughter. The King demands it. Listen to me very well. You need to play your cards right. Create new alliances, keep your friends close and guarded. It's the only way to survive in King's Landing without me. And you will have to do it now more than ever, as you will be Daemon's wife," her father had said before leaving.

"I have no friends or allies in court. I don't even have Rhaenyra on my side anymore," she had told herself when he boarded a boat back to Oldtown.

And it was true. Her friendship with Rhaenyra had been shattered since Viserys had announced his intention to marry her, and this change of engagement rather than helping her to win the favor of her old friend again, had sunk any hope of reconciliation.

Rhaenyra loves her uncle with with the fiery passion of a dragon and he reciprocates her. And now I'm in the middle of them. The King took care of that.

She never believed Viserys capable of such cruel revenge. Alicent always thought of Rhaenyra's father as a kind person, sometimes too much for his own good. She knew that, although her future marriage would not be pleasant for her, she would at least have the assurance that her future husband would not mistreat her. But Alicent, Daemon and her own father forgot that Viserys was also a dragon. And the dragon burns his enemies to ashes. A fatal mistake.

She could never know how the King had learned of his father's plans and how she was the cornerstone for putting blood from the Hightower house on the Iron throne. Maybe Viserys wasn't as dumb as Otto Hightower had thought.

I'd feel some pride for him, if he hadn't condemned me to something like this. A man wounded in his pride can be terribly dangerous, and even more so if he is the king himself.

That day, as she walked down the aisle in the same mood with which a prisoner would walk to the place of his execution, her eyes were completely serene, with no trace of redness or any sign of crying, much to the surprise of many. Little did they know that it was not a matter of strength, or even pride. Alicent simply had no more tears to shed. Recent events had dried her up.

She had cried after the King announced her new engagement with Daemon, not out of grief, but out of fear. She had cried the day she had approached Rhaenyra and the princess had slapped her and left Alicent alone without saying a word. She had cried the day she had seen her father leaving her to her fate. So, today, on her wedding day, Lady Alicent doubted that she could produce a single tear, although she wanted to. Neither could the audience see her wounded hands. Alicent had been avoiding her bad habit for almost a week, fearful of staining her wedding dress with blood if she hurted herself as she wished.

Alicent walked to the makeshift altar and stood in front of her future husband. She had always thought that unlike his brother, Prince Daemon was quite handsome, and that day he also looked imposing with his cloak with the tricephalus dragon of House Targaryen embroidered with rubies on his shoulders, and with his platinum golden hair rudimentary cut.

Maybe I would have married him willingly in another life. If Rhaenyra and he didn't love each other. But my father didn't want a prince for me, but a king. And now this is the price of our ambition.

But it was not the time to think about hypothetical scenarios. Alicent stuck her brown eyes into the indigo of Daemon as the High Septon said a pray.

"You may now cloak the bride and bring her under your protection" he indicated Daemon. The Targaryen prince took his cloak from his shoulders and put it in hers. The weight of it nearly knocked her off balance, but Alicent was able to hold on as the High Septon asked them to join hands and tied them with a white ribbon

"Say the words, my Lady" the old man said. Alicent took a deep breath and stared back at her future husband.

"Father, Smith, Warrior, Mother, Maiden, Crone, Stranger. I am his, and he is mine, from this day until the end of my days" she repeated, as she had been taught by her septa. The High Septon looked towards Daemon.

"Now you say the words, my prince"

Daemon sighed and his gaze looked away, instead of at her. He took his time, but finally he said it, with a hoarse voice that sounded more like a grunt

"Father, Smith, Warrior, Mother, Maiden, Crone, Stranger. I am...hers, and she is mine, from this day until the end of my days"

The High Septon murmured a final blessing and Alicent took her time to feel Daemon's hand upon hers. It was warm, hard and full of calluses, probably due to the use of Darksister, in training and in war. He was a warrior after all, her now lord husband.

I promised to be his wife. And I will try to fulfill that oath as best I can, even if I did not choose it. It is the wish of the gods after all. And maybe someday, it might be my wish too. The wish of both

"So, I declare you, husband and wife. One flesh and one soul from this day until the last of your days" said finally the High Septon.

The crowd of King's Landing cheered and some waited expectantly. Alicent waited for her now husband, but seeing that Daemon was frozen in his place she was the one who approached and gave him a timid kiss on the lips. That seemed to get Daemon out of his shock, as he stepped back, making the kiss even shorter than Alicent intended and both of them walked down the stairs to leave the Dragonpit, surrounded by the King's Guard, as if the knights feared that the couple would escape at some point.

The journey back to the Red Keep was even more uncomfortable, as she and Daemon had to share a carriage, alone. However, she saw the opportunity in it. After all they wouldn't be alone again until...well. Alicent blushed at the thought of it. She tried to think of some way to comfort her clearly miserable new husband. She herself had sought comfort since all the unfortunate events, and had found it in the Sept, trying to explain all that had happened as a kind of divine desire, perhaps as a punishment to her father for his ambition, to her for trying to seduce a poor man from the day he was widowed, and to Daemon for his arrogance. But it was obvious she wouldn't tell him like that. Daemon had a temper, after all.

So, making use of all the courage she could get at that time, Alicent spoke.

"The Gods' wisdom is often beyond our understanding, my prince, but it must still be obeyed. I believe they intend for us to be wed as the best course of action in these circumstances."

Daemon looked up. His indigo eyes flashed with anger and for the first time since their engagement was announced he spoke directly to her.

"The Gods are not real, you fool. They don't control our lifes." He told her without hesitation, the anger and hatred behind his voice was intense.

"We both know this is just a punishment, don't we?"

Alicent flinched, and for a moment, Daemon's anger was too much to bear. But she composed herself quickly.

"Punishments are sent for a reason, my prince. You, my father and I have sinned and now we are paying the price."

Daemon looked at her with disbelief, surprised that Alicent thought that she could lecture him. But he seemed to keep his anger to himself. They didn't talk the rest of the trip.

Feeling a sort of victory and believing that perhaps she had given the prince something to ponder, Alicent allowed herself to feel more relaxed. When they arrived at the Red Keep's feast she even allowed herself to forget for a moment the bitter part of their forced union and she tried to enjoy the celebration to the fullest. Daemon got lost at the table where the wine was and she did not see him for a long time.

But when Alicent saw her husband again, Daemon was not alone.

Rhaenyra and he spoke in the complicated language of Old Valyria, so she could not understand what they were saying. However, from the princess's red eyes and Daemon's murderous gaze Alicent could deduce a little of what they were talking about. Rhaenyra took Daemon's hand and seemed to tell him something with desperation. Her uncle shook his head and let her go. That seemed to hurt the princess, who stormed off in tears and left the hall. For a moment, Alicent had the urge to run after her friend, but she stopped herself. If Daemon and Rhaenyra argued for the reasons she believed, she would be the last person the princess would want to see. So, she decided to walk to her husband. Alicent thought of consoling him somehow, finding a way for him to open up to her, but Daemon's clear look of pain hardened the moment he saw her approaching.

"Is Rhaenyra all right, my prince? Are you alright?" she asked in a nervous voice. Daemon only looked at her with disdain.

"Get lost, Lady Hightower. I'm already in a pretty bad mood. I don't want you to make it worse"

She sighed deeply, slightly hurt by his words. But she let it go, after all Daemon was clearly drunk and perhaps had lost the ability of self-control.

"We are husband and wife now. It is my duty and my desire to try to help you, to look after your well-being, my prince" Alicent told him as she tried to take his hand, but he quickly pushed hers away, as if she were sick with psoriagris.

"My wish is that you leave me alone" he said aggressively, the accumulated fury threatening to set free in that moment "you will never be of any consolation to me."

Then, Daemon walked away from her, getting lost in the crowd of guests, leaving her alone in the middle of the room. Alicent suppressed tears and unconsciously she dug her nails into her fingers, causing them to bleed. The pain cleared her mind a little.

How is this marriage supposed to work if my husband won't even let me touch him? She thought How are we supposed to...?

The question did not even finish forming in her mind. No. The prince would do his duty.

"A man doesn't need to love you to feel desire for you" her father had once told her.

"Why do you think men go to brothels? To satiate their lust"

My husband is known as the Lord of Flea Bottom, and I am pretty beautiful enough to catch a King, my father once thought. Daemon may not love me, but he must want me. His lust will be enough for us to consummate our marriage. To keep this marriage.

So, with this kind of temporary comfort in her mind Alicent walked away and tried to enjoy the party again, though she couldn't make it. Time seemed to pass and pass more slowly until the King, who had not risen from his chair since the feast began, stopped and ordered silence.

"Lords and ladies of the Realm" Viserys said in a deep, ominous voice. "The time has come for this marriage to be legitimate in the eyes of the gods and men."

Alicent's fingernails were nailed back into her fingers, seeking comfort for what was to come.

"The time has come for the bedding ceremony"

A roar rose from the crowd of guests and the groups of men and women separated organized. Alicent would have been impressed by their coordination, had she not been frozen by nerves, shock and some fear. So, when the group of men picked her up and began to undress her, she did not even register the obscenities that were shouting at her or the inappropriate way in which some of them touched her from time to time, her mind far away, in the chambers that were her destiny.

Gods. It's happening. What the hell am I going to do?

She hadn't thought about it, not even when she was supposed to marry the King. It had been a part she had not dared to imagine, full of shame. The most she could reason then then was that Viserys was a kind man and would still be so when he took her on their wedding night. But she had not married Viserys, but Daemon. A chill ran down her spine, and not precisely because she was half-naked now. Daemon had a reputation for being aggressive and she couldn't help but wonder if he had been gentle with Rhaenyra in that dark alley in Flea Bottom.

Otto Hightower himself had brought the news to the King, when she and Viserys were discussing the last details of a wedding that would never take place.

He surely was. Kind and perhaps even procured Rhaenyra's pleasure. Daemon loves his niece after all. My husband will not have those attentions with me.

And there was some truth within those thoughts. Daemon had no reason to be gentle with her. After all, Alicent was a punishment for him. The prince himself had said so.

So when the men left her in the chambers clad only in a nightgown and the women did the same to her lord husband, closing the door behind them and leaving them alone, Alicent could only hear her own heartbeats accelerating as she saw the tall shadow of her husband in front of her.