(Kikuko emerges from a huge 8 Ball, and leans on it, pouting)
Meet The Hag!
The Hag's Temper
(or "So You Wanna Keep Your Cool")
A woman was leaning on her beanbag, as she was grumbling to herself.
This is Kikuko Hattori, ageless and immortal. And here, we see a study of perhaps what makes her tick. Literally. Look her over. In her age, being senile and very young at her age, she can sometimes blow up, like a time bomb. People tend to get angry, nowadays. Let's go see her.
Kikuko hissed, as she swung her hand out, clawing at the 4th wall.
Oh, dear… What a mean woman… Maybe she needs to be alone with her thoughts. Is she tired, restless? Not necessarily… but deprive her of her material possessions, and maybe learn how to control her anger, within an instant.
XXXXX
Kikuko is relaxing, as she smiles, on her hammock, drinking lemonade.
Outdoors life… Perfect rest to tone one's nerves. Always remember, Hag, self control will be your goal. This nice mountain air and soft wind blowing…
She relaxed, as she was taking a nap. Suddenly, she heard a chicken howling. A couple chickens were on the farm, far from Kikuko's camp.
Now-now, Kikuko…
She got up and grabbed a bat.
Easy there… You don't want the farmer to lash out at you, just to turn these chickens into fried pheasants. No chickens, no eggs. And that's bad for marketing.
She pouted, and lied back down. She read her newspaper, as she was looking through the want ads.
Kikuko is having her relaxing day of quiet, as she wants to be focused on the big day ahead of her – a new job in the industry. She has been lively and hype for it, but they say that temper will lead to disaster. And we don't want to see someone act like you, now do we, Hag?
She shook her head, as the horses neigh. She growled, as she held up a rifle.
Uh-uh-uh-uh! Put that gun down… As I said, don't let the farmer catch you.
Kikuko sighed, and she lied down.
Just ignore it. I'm certain that you'll feel better… before tomorrow's day.
Hag is controlling her anger, much as she is trying to play a game.
XXXXX
Kikuko's playing a game, but is suddenly losing, feeling irritated.
Prime examples of the shots of anger include playing games, and becoming a sore loser. Sometimes you are so irritated that you forget that you're angry.
Kikuko loses, and throws the controller down, smashing it. She kicked her pillow and hollered like an animal.
Yep. This is what we modern folks call "Rage Quitting". Not everyone can be Mt. Kikuko, the active volcano.
Take this diagram of a person with an anger problem.
A picture of a man with red lava inside his outline of his feet. The diagram starts to build up the red, rising up.
Anger is like that, as mentioned, a volcano. When something sets up, the blood inside you starts to boil, and soon enough, as it reaches maximum height, it's liable to erupt. There are lots of ways that your body can erupt into rage.
XXXXX
Kikuko was in line, as she was waiting to buy some food.
Take for example waiting in line. Hag is wanting the upcoming new chocolates on sale. And she's in an enormous line… of other people. And they, too, have their own issues, concerning their anger. Let's cut the line and view some of these unlucky people.
A woman with dark blue hair was fidgeting, as she was waiting in line.
This woman here is suffering from "Fidgetus Impatieus". The impatient type. When waiting about 20 minutes, she does get a little anxious and tired. Her legs started to pace a bit, moving her feet, up and down, up and down, and crossing her arms, knowing that she's getting bored.
Another woman with blonde hair was waiting, breathing heavily.
This one is controlling her temper, constantly, to the point of needing oxygen. "Breatheinicus Breatheoutitcus", the Tense Type. It's best to breathe in and breathe out, to control your tense mood. This one, as tense as she is, does this on a daily basis.
A girl was talking on her phone, as a man in a jacket was trying to ignore it.
This man here has had his fill, listening to this jabbering girl's phone call. The annoying type, only to be the AnnoyEE, than the AnnoyER. "Annoyus Ignoramus", the type that constantly hates back chatting and jabbering… especially from kids.
A kid shot a pop gun at him, and he suddenly started to chase after the kid.
Uh-oh! Junior somehow let loose the bull!
The man left the line, as the boy ran away.
Of course, it's not just the back of the line, as do you, Hag. It's the front.
The clerk said, "I'm sorry, but we're sold out of the product today. You'll have to wait until Wednesday."
Kikuko was shocked, as the man yelled, "YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING ME? YOU HAD A STOCK FULL! I WANNA SEE YOUR MANAGER! SOLD OUT! THIS GIRL IS HOLDING OUT ON US! I DEMAND JUSTICE!"
Kikuko was shaken, but she walked away.
Don't feel too bad. Every 9 out of 10 people in this world are considered the common slang of Protesterous Jerkikus! Or "Karens".
XXXXX
Another way of setting off anger is accidents. Hag here is by the corner. But look… A huge puddle. It rained last night, a heavy downpour.
Kikuko nodded, and she stepped back. She smirked.
That's showing it, stout fella. But suppose you DO get drenched. My word… You'd be sitting angry by the oncoming car.
The car drove by, driving over the puddle. Kikuko was doused by the puddle, and she was furious.
Easy now… I forgot that the bigger the puddles are, the longer the splash zone is.
A woman was shouting incoherently, as she complained about her hair and her dress. The policeman calmed her down, and Kikuko made a run for it. She sighed, as she was far from the protests.
Accidents happen… but we don't want to see YOU get angry at the officer, now do we–?
SPLUT!
A can of paint falls onto the head of the Hag. She was seething, as she was doused in red paint.
Red is the color of anger, Hag… Just be mellow yellow…
SPLUT!
Yellow paint fell onto her.
And… this is where I open my big mouth.
Kikuko threw the paintcan into the window, and kicked the ladder down.
Uh-oh! SHE'S GONNA BLOW!
She threw the ladder down, as the painter was dangling on the rope. She marched off, as the painter cried, "HEY! HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY!"
Oh, no, now you've done it. What a mess. Kikuko let her temper get the best of her.
XXXXX
Of course, it doesn't always happen outside in the city. It's the inside… that matters.
Kikuko attempts to open a window.
Even the simplest of things… like, for example, opening a window.
She tried to open it, but it was stuck. She growled, and then lifted the window. But it was still sealed shut. She roared, and grabbed a bat.
Uh-uh! Hag… Check the top.
She looked up, and she unlocked the window. But the window was still stuck. She pushed up and roared, pushing the window high. She barked out and panted.
Well, she did it! And not a vein popped,
SMASH!
The window fell shut, smashing the glass. Kikuko facepalmed herself, and she was livid. She turned to the shards and growled, "MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMNGH!"
She marched off, grabbing a sledgehammer.
UH-OH! SHE'S GONE MAD! HIT THE DECK!
She started to smash the window, breaking it apart. She calmed down and sat down, knowing that the window's open.
She never learns. Even the simplest of anger impulses lead to inside your home. For example, a mess in the home. One must be neat and tidy, even if this debris is not your own. Or the noise from the next door neighbor.
She heard music, and she picked up a brick. She smashed the window next door, and nodded. She turned around.
CONK!
And was knocked out by another brick, flung back to her.
She got up and grabbed the telephone. She called, "HELLO? WHAT'S THE BIG IDEA BLARING THAT MUSIC, NEXT DOOR TO MY PRESENCE? I OUGHTA COME OVER AND GIVE YOU A–! OHhhhh, you're mad at me, for breaking your window! YOU OWE ME FOR BREAKING MY WINDOW, WITH YOU NOISE! I OUGHTA TURN YOU IN FOR DISTURBING THE PEACE!"
She slammed the phone down. She turned to the hole in the wall and snarled. She sat down, as explosions were made. She stumbled down, as she was furious, covered in dirt and smoke.
XXXXX
Kikuko's relaxing in her hammock, as she was snoozing.
Well… that's life for Kikuko Hattori. She needs to get her mind out of the gutter, and just ignore the trifles. How does one control anger?
Kikuko was counting to ten, as she was gripping her pillow.
Counting to ten works. Just laugh off your troubles and let it go. It works that you don't have to count to ten. But it does help.
She started punching a pillow and barked, while counting.
It also helps to relieve stress, punching a pillow or anything soft. That helps cause relief.
She was still snoozing, as the clouds grew darker.
And Kikuko is taking a nap. It's a perfect way to calm one's troubles. Just rest and relax, and ignore all petty trifles. Sleeping is another way… but lying down in anything soft will give you that much needed firm control over one's self.
SNAP!
THUD!
The hammock broke off, and she fell. She groaned, waking up from her nap. She snarled, knowing that her nap was ruined. She saw a woodpecker, near the small string, and she barked, "The very idea…"
Yes, even being abused by nature can be very stressful. Hag, don't harm a feather on that bird.
She brushed the narrator off and held up her rifle.
BANG!
She fired at the bird, but he flew off.
THUMP!
Many thumps landed onto her. Apples fell down onto Kikuko, buried in a pile. She sobbed, as she was fed up with this stress.
Well, serves you right. If you didn't harm that poor defenseless bird, this wouldn't be happening. Lest we forget that you need to get your anger under control. You wanted that job, don't you?
She nodded, as she agreed to the narrator.
Then learn to take it like a woman. Don't get angry over every single thing.
Kikuko got up and packed her hammock away. She held up a bat and found the woodpecker. She charged at the bird, and it flew away.
What could be worse?
BOOM!
The rain started to fall, and Kikuko ran off, finding a cave, nearby. She sighed and panted. She saw white eyes in the darkness, and she growled, "Ohhhhh. You bird brained bum!"
SMACK!
She hit something in the dark. She lit a match, and it was a huge brown bear.
Uh-oh… Start running Hag!
Kikuko ran out, as the bear chased after her, through the pouring rain.
Hag learns a valuable lesson about wildlife… Don't tease the bears. Bears get angry, too.
Kikuko hopped onto the bus, and went to pay the fare.
Of course, traveling to and from home may be stressful. Not every day is a quiet day. The buses can be noisy… aside from the motors and the engines.
Kikuko sat down and read a newspaper. A boy was looking on, as he offered to read a part of it. Kikuko says no, and turns away. The boy snoops in and she is crossed.
This, my friends, is another type of anger-inducing trigger – Annoyus Jerkius Pesterus; quite commonly known as… The Pest.
The pestering boy grabbed the paper, wanting to read the articles. Kikuko dodged away and was angry. She grabbed the paper, yanked it, and it split in half. She was upset, as the boy had half her newspaper. She gave him the other half, in complete annoyance. She moved to another seat.
Calm lady… She knows what and when not to give in.
She sat down, and she was next to a lady talking on the phone, in an annoying tone. Across from her was a child crying, as his mother was holding her son tight, by the arm. Kikuko tried to ask her to keep the son down, but the bus stopped, and Kikuko stumbled down, onto the floor. She got up, as an old lady sat on her seat. Kikuko was furious, slapped her face, and then rubbed down in annoyance. She marched off, heading to an open seat in the back.
Oh, well. It's a free country. First come, first served. Hag is trying to find a quiet seat… away from the pests.
Kikuko was alone with two people, sleeping by the window. She knew, at least, the snoring won't bother her.
But then came the worst thing to happen, when riding a bus…
The bus stopped, as it was in the middle of a huge traffic gridlock.
Oh, well, Hag. At least you have plenty of time for yourself.
Kikuko relaxed, but the man on her left plopped down on her lap, and she gasped in horror. The man on her right leaned by her shoulder and drooled all over her. She was not only horrified, but also nauseous.
Easy, Kikuko… Remember. Don't make a vein pop, or you're about to take an early exit.
The man nuzzled onto her crotch, and was smiling in bliss. Kikuko blushed in fright, and pushed him off her lap. She marched out of the bus, and signaled she's getting off. The doors opened, as she left the bus.
Poor Hag. she's gonna be awfully late. You know, walking helps you.
She signaled to the narrator that she had 20 minutes left.
If you're that desperate, call a cab. But don't get too angry about it.
Kikuko signaled to a taxi, and it approached her. She told the driver her destination, and the driver drove off, only driving one block.
I guess you forget… that there's still traffic going on here, Hag.
Kikuko pouted, as she crossed her arms, and was annoyed completely.
At least you didn't lose your cool, this time.
"COME ON!" The driver yelled, honking his horn, "I GOT A LADY IN HURRY! MOVE IT! MOVE YOUR DUFF! COME ON! YOU THINK YOU WON THE ROAD?"
See what I mean? This is why Road Rage is common.
Kikuko sighed, as she stepped out of the taxi. She paid the fare, and walked to her destination.
Smart thinking. It's best not to blow up, while waiting in a heated car–.
SPLOOSH!
She was doused with another paint can, with the can on her head. She was sighing in sadness, crying a bit. She turned to the painter, above her, and pulled the rope down, and the scaffold fell down. Kikuko walked off, as soon as the scaffold crashed down. The painter was injured, as Kikuko marched off, heading home, to wash the paint off.
When will I learn to keep my mouth shut? Calamity falls in place for her, and anger implodes under calamity, despair, chaos, and other means.
Kikuko was sitting in the office halls, as she was waiting.
At least, the day has come. Kikuko Hattori is about to get a new job from management. This is a big job for you, Kikuko. You're finally going to get what's coming to you.
Kikuko nodded, and she was called. "Hattori? Kikuko Hattori?"
She got up and went inside.
I'm certain you'll make a model employee. But temper can lead you to your downfall. Some may get stressed, or some may get furious that they take it out on their boss. And believe me, NO ONE wants to be angry at their boss… or the boss may get mad.
Kikuko stepped out, calmed and smiling.
Well, well. Congratulations, Kikuko! Did you get the job?
She shook her head no, but smiled, feeling satisfied.
Oh, not good enough for you? Well, there's always next time. But I am impressed, Hag. You went in, and you didn't even blow up, not once. Well, you didn't get the job, but the boss did give you options, right?
She nodded, as she pointed at the door. Kikuko walked off, with a smile on her face. The office door opens, as the boss was unconscious, with a huge black eye on his face.
Oh!
Kikuko was prancing away, happily smiling, back to her private home, as she also had her right hand swollen, from the punch she gave to the boss. She was prancing, while holding her hands behind her back.
And this, readers, is where I came in.
SPLUT!
A white paint can fell onto the Hag, as she was stunned.
The painter, with a neck brace and a cast, cried out, "That was for yesterday, you old hag!"
Kikuko was annoyed, but this time, she didn't lose her cool. She pointed out, "Pest." Then she walked away.
(Kikuko retreats back to the 8 ball)
The End
Thanks for reading!