Posting this a little early. But it is the 1st somewhere in the world. Dust said so!

It's been a while since I've written anything and I hammered this out in between Canada Day events. Sooooo... Yes. I hope you like it.

Colonel Robert Hogan sighed as he rocked on his heels. A sharp winter wind swept past him, nearly knocking his hat off. He patted the top of his head to keep it on.

It was the only exciting thing that had happened in the last ten minutes. Kommandant Klink had been droning on about something unimportant while the prisoners stood in silence at morning roll call. They were cold, tired, and bored, without even the energy to heckle the German officer. Everyone simply wanted him to finish rambling so they could get back inside their huts. But Klink was quite happy to keep talking, wrapped up in his warm overcoat, heavy scarf, and fur-lined gloves.

"ACHOO!"

That caused Hogan to perk up a little. There had been a flu going around the camp but, so far, his hut had been spared. But someone very close by had apparently caught it. Hogan looked over his men but couldn't pinpoint who had sneezed.

Well, he would find out soon enough. That was, if Klink ever stopped yammering.

A sound from the front gate caught his attention. He looked over to see Oskar Schnitzer's truck waiting to be let in. Hogan glanced at Kinch who shook his head, confirming what he already knew: Olsen was already in camp, and they had received no word about any escaped prisoners being transported in for delivery to London. Maybe Oskar was bringing word from the underground, but chances were it was just his regular visit to change the dogs.

"ACHOO!"

It sounded like the same man, but again, Hogan didn't see who it was.

"Dismissed!" Klink finally said. Hogan checked his watch and couldn't help but roll his eyes at how long roll call had taken.

"All right, fellas, back into the barracks," Hogan said. He grabbed Kinch as the sergeant passed. "Looks like the flu caught up to us," he said. "Do you know who has it?"

"LeBeau, I think," Kinch replied.

"Oh, really?" Hogan said, raising an eyebrow. In all the time that he had known him, the little Frenchman had never been sick. He was always the nurse, never the patient.

"Apparently. I guess it's our turn to play mother hen," Kinch said with a wry smile.

"I doubt we'll be short of volunteers. He deserves a little payback for all the times he's nursed us back to health. Okay, tuck him into bed. I'm going to go chat with Oskar for a minute."

"Don't freeze," Kinch called over his shoulder as Hogan marched off. Hogan nodded and flipped up the collar of his leather jacket, holding it closed. He hurried across the compound to the dog pen where Oskar's truck was parked. The veterinarian was coming around the back when Hogan arrived.

"What's the word, Oskar?" Hogan greeted in a low voice.

"Nothing right now," Oskar said with a shrug. "No troop movements, no escaped prisoners, nothing."

Hogan scrunched his nose. His underground operation had had nothing to do for over a week and his men were getting restless. Still, with the flu going around, it was probably for the best. "All right," Hogan sighed. Then he perked up. "Say, did you bring Heidi back?"

Oskar chuckled. "See for yourself." The vet opened the back of his truck. "Heidi!" Obediently, the German Shepherd jumped out of the truck. "Sit!" Again, she obeyed his command.

Hogan smiled and dropped down to one knee. "Hiya, girl!" he greeted as he massaged her neck. "Oh, I missed you." Heidi replied by licking his face. "Aw, c'mon," he said, pushing her down. She gave one happy bark before settling, her tongue hanging out of her mouth as if her smile was too wide to hold it in.

All the dogs were friendly towards the prisoners- Oskar had trained them that way- but Hogan had to admit that of all the dogs, he liked Heidi best. Heck, everyone liked her best. In fact, Hogan and LeBeau were in an unspoken competition to be her favourite. Hogan liked to think that he would win out in the end- rank had its privileges, after all.

Heidi's coat was more blonde than brown and Hogan always felt she had such clever eyes. She was a sweetheart and obedient to a fault. She was also a terrific actress. When the need arose, she could seem downright ferocious- enough to fool the guards into thinking she was actually doing the job they expected her to do. But it was all for show. She was as sweet as a kitten.

Hogan had always been a dog person. He had had dogs all throughout his childhood. Whenever his family moved to a new city, he always had a built-in friend by his side. Not that he really needed one because he could make friends at the drop of a hat. But maybe having a dog was what gave him the confidence to do so.

With a shrug, Hogan decided he could psycho-analyse himself later (or better yet, never). For now, he had a sick man in Barracks 2 to look after. Getting up, Hogan brushed off his knees. "Let me know if there's anything you need," Hogan said to Oskar. "You too," he said as he patted Heidi's head. "I've got to-"

"Ah, ah, ah! What is this?"

"Hey, Schultz, I'm just leaving," Hogan said as the sergeant of the guards came over. Oskar quickly turned his attention back to the dogs, herding out the others from the truck and leading them over to the pen.

"And what were you talking about over here?" Schultz asked.

Hogan shrugged. "Nothing. Just asking 'how's tricks' to Oskar here."

"Ah-ha, ah-ha, tricks is right! Something funny is going on here. I think there is a reason the dogs are so mean to me and so nice to you!"

"Nice?!" Hogan cried. "Those dogs are killers! Isn't that right?!"

On cue, Heidi lunged and was only stopped by her leash which Oskar held firmly in his hand. She barked savagely, baring her teeth and growling. Schultz stumbled backwards and Hogan made a show of holding up his hands and taking a step back.

"See, I told you, a killer."

"For you, or for me?" Schultz asked, wide-eyed. He shook his finger at Oskar. "You should train them better! I think they forget who the enemy is."

"Enemies? Really. And here I thought we were friends! Remind me never to invite you to another poker game," Hogan huffed, crossing his arms indignantly.

Schult sputtered. "Hogan, I did not mean that. I mean I did. I mean, if it were up to me, we would not be enemies, but it is not up to me which means we are enemies! But only because-"

"All right, Schultz, keep your helmet on," Hogan said.

"Besides, these are the best-trained dogs you will find in all of Germany," Oskar interjected. "I could train them to do anything!"

"Ja, ja, I believe you. Now get the dogs into the pen quick, quick, quick. And you!" Schultz said, turning and pointing a finger at Hogan. "Back into the barracks, back, back, back."

"I'm going, going, going," Hogan said, turning on his heel.

"And do not forget to invite me to the next poker game!" Schultz called after him.

Hogan shook his head, a small smile on his lips as he made his way back to the barracks. It was funny that he really did consider Schultz a kind of friend. A big, dumb friend, but a friend nonetheless. They could never pull off half the things they did without Schultz's compliance. "Sometimes you find sentiment in the strangest places, I guess," Hogan said to himself.

Inside the barracks he found Newkirk at the stove, stirring something in a pot. Kinch was sitting on the bench next to Carter's bunk, reading a letter aloud. Raising an eyebrow, Hogan peeked into Carter's bunk to see LeBeau laying there, scowling. A moment later, Carter emerged from Hogan's room, a blanket and pillow in his hands.

"Oh, sorry, Colonel. I figured you wouldn't mind if LeBeau borrowed the extra bedding from your bottom bunk," Carter said when he saw Hogan. "After all he's sick."

"It's no-"

"I am not sick!" LeBeau interrupted. "And I do not need you to nurse me! Or you, Newkirk. And I do not need you to read my mail to me!" he snapped as he snatched the letter from Kinch's hand.

"Just trying to help, LeBeau," Kinch said, raising his hands. LeBeau only huffed in reply. Kinch shrugged and got up and slid over to Hogan. "He was staring at the page for ten minutes," he whispered. "I could tell he wasn't really even reading it- like he couldn't, so I offered to read it for him. He didn't seem to mind until now."

Hogan pressed his lips into a thin line and hummed.

"I am going into my bed!" LeBeau announced. He threw off his blankets just as Carter was about to put the extra on him, and swung his legs over the side of the bed. He stood and immediately turned pale. If not for Carter catching him, he would have fallen into a heap.

"Come on, buddy, we told you it would be easier to use my bunk," Carter said, practically pleading with him.

"Oh, yeah," Kinch said to Hogan quietly. "You missed quite the debate over that."

Again, Hogan hummed with displeasure at the report.

"And do not even think about feeding me whatever poison you have in there!" LeBeau snapped at Newkirk.

"Poison?! This is me mum's own recipe! It could cure the dead, it could!" Newkirk exclaimed, offended.

"Bah!" was all LeBeau said as he freed himself from Carter and fell back into his bunk. Without another word, he pulled his feet in, and tucked them into his chest even as he rolled over onto his side. Carter hesitated for a moment before picking up the blankets from the floor and laying them over LeBeau. "As if another rag will help keep me warm," LeBeau groused.

"Any chance we can pawn him off on Wilson?" Hogan asked Kinch.

Kinch shook his head. "He's caught the flu, too."

Hogan's eyes went wide with horror as he paled. "What? If our mother hen is this bad when he's sick, can you imagine what the poor saps taking care of Wilson are dealing with?!"

"I don't even want to imagine," Kinch replied, shuddering. "I have a feeling we'll be lucky to survive this! Who knew LeBeau would make such a bad patient."

"Well, 'Luck' is my middle name, or so I've been told."

"Carter! What are you doing?!" LeBeau cried from his bed as Carter tried to mop his forehead with a wet cloth. "Trying to drown me?!"

"Oh, this is going to be so much fun, isn't it?" Hogan groaned.

… It was not.

LeBeau groaned as he surfaced into consciousness. His head was pounding, his nose weighed a tonne, and his stomach was doing somersaults. The flu had been dogging him for three days now with no sign of letting up. Which was no surprise to him. After all, he had been saddled with the worst nurses in history.

One would have thought the others would have paid attention to how he had cared for them when they were sick. It was not hard, after all! Anyone with an ounce of common sense could take care of someone with the flu. But it seemed LeBeau was the only one capable of providing tender and loving care to the ill in Barracks 2.

He hated being sick. Absolutely hated it. He just wanted to be better, and now, but nothing his hutmates did helped him in the slightest. Perhaps if he wasn't so sick, he would have the energy to find something to appreciate about their efforts, but as it was, all they were doing was driving him crazy and possibly making him more sick. He had chewed them out more than once and yet they still came back, trying to help him. He wished they would just leave him alone to either get better or die. If not that, he hoped Newkirk would make good on the muttered threats he kept making about how he would 'bloody well strangle the stupid French blighter.'

At least they had managed to find him some warm blankets. He was finally feeling warm for the first time in days.

Maybe too warm. How many blankets had they piled onto him?

Without opening his eyes, LeBeau patted the blanket on top of him. It was definitely warm. And soft. And fuzzy. And… snoring?

LeBeau cracked open a bleary eye and craned his head up to see what exactly was on top of him. "Que?" He couldn't quite wrap his head around what he saw- a dog. One of the camp's German shepherds was laying on the thin blankets that were draped over him, snoozing. But at his voice, it opened its eyes and looked over at him, letting its tongue loll out of its mouth as if it were smiling at him.

LeBeau rubbed his eyes to clear them before peering at the dog again. "Heidi? What are you doing here, ma chère?" he asked as he reached over to pat her. He looked around to find some sort of explanation from his hutmates.

"Meet your new nurse, mate," Newkirk said from the table where he was playing cards, his back turned to LeBeau.

"What?"

"Your nurse," Newkirk repeated.

LeBeau was still confused. "But…"

"We were tired of you snapping at us," Kinch said from the other side of the table.

"Yeah, you haven't been very nice to us," Carter added from where he lay on LeBeau's bunk. "I mean, all we're trying to do is help you and you've been barking at us at every turn. You'd think you weren't even sick with all the energy you've been using to yell at us. Boy, I know when I'm sick I can't even-"

"It's simple, LeBeau," Hogan interrupted. He was across the room, leaning against Olsen's bunk with a coffee mug in his hand. He took a little sip before continuing. "You've been a horrible patient and we've apparently been horrible nurses. So I thought, 'All right, I'll get a dog to do the job. No way he can be mad at a dog. Especially Heidi.'"

LeBeau scrunched his nose. The colonel had a point. It was very hard to be mad at his sweet little princess. "But," he sputtered. "But… But she is a dog." A very smart and adorable dog, but still a dog. "She cannot nurse me."

"Wanna bet?" Hogan smirked. "Heidi, sponge."

With a small bark, Heidi jumped off the bed and went to a small bowl that was sitting on the end of the bench. From that, she grabbed a cloth in her mouth and brought it to LeBeau, pressing it into his face. LeBeau moved his face to the side so he could breathe, but Heidi kept bobbing her head, getting water all over him.

"Enough, Heidi, enough!" LeBeau cried. Heidi obediently backed away and put the cloth back into its bowl. Then she returned and sat next to him on the floor, panting with excitement. LeBeau wanted to scowl, to tell her she had almost drowned him, but one look at that happy face and he knew he couldn't. Instead, he reached over and petted her. "Oh, who is a good girl! Such a good girl!"

Heidi lit up at the praise and then carefully got back into the bunk and lay over him again.

Hogan smirked, looking very proud of himself. "And watch. Heidi! Puke!"

Immediately, Heidi got off the bed again and went to fetch another bowl. It was empty and she pushed it into LeBeau's face. LeBeau grabbed it and set it beside him. "So smart," he praised. "But…"

"Soup, Heidi," Newkirk said. Again, Heidi left LeBeau's side and put her front paws onto the bench beside Newkirk. Newkirk got up and went over to the stove and ladled some soup into a mug. Heidi followed and waited patiently as Newkirk very carefully balanced the mug on Heidi's head. Everyone held their breath as the dog slowly backed up until she was next to LeBeau again. LeBeau reached over and grabbed the mug. Everyone was still holding their breath as LeBeau blew on the soup and then took a sip. He scowled, but only for a moment.

"Did you make this soup, Heidi? Very delicious," he said, giving her another pat. Then he glared up at Hogan. "Well played, mon colonel. Well played."

Hogan gave him a cheeky grin in response. "See? The perfect nurse. Not even you can find fault with her."

"I would not dare," LeBeau conceded.

"Consider it payback. You've nursed us back to health so often, you deserve the best in return," Hogan explained.

"I do, don't I?" LeBeau smiled as he rubbed Heidi's neck. Then he patted his side so Heidi would join him on the bed, once again providing him with her warmth. "Such a good dog. Such a good nurse," he mumbled, feeling sleep make his eyes heavy again. "So good."

A few moments later, he heard Hogan declare triumphantly. "Gentlemen, Operation Mother Hen is a success! And everyone's getting a day's leave in Hammelburg for putting up with him for this long!"

LeBeau snorted quietly as he reached up to stroke Heidi. The colonel may have had one good idea, but that didn't make up for them being such terrible nurses for three days. He knew that and he knew Heidi knew that. And, when he was better, he would make Heidi a meal to show his appreciation. That was why, LeBeau thought as he drifted off to sleep, he would win the little competition he and the colonel were silently engaged in. LeBeau had no doubt who Heidi loved the most.

As if reading his thoughts, Heidi licked his face. Well, with a nurse like this, LeBeau thought, maybe it wouldn't be so bad if he stayed sick for a few more days.