Chapter three:

A little while later Leo is done playing the game with Michelangelo. He comes with me and I start to head to the dojo with him.

I slightly glance around while Leo's focused on going to check out the the dojo. I kind of think that since hopefully we won't be here long, it might be a good time to approach him. I will make sure that Leo will know it's completely optional. I spot Splinter step out of his room and I meet his eye. I see him nod just before I turn away.

Me and him enter the dojo and it looks a lot like our own.

I take him further inside moving a little ahead of him. I know I should be somewhere that'd be a good position for such an event. I would be right next to Leo however I know it'd work best if I was in a different position.

"Is it alright if I come in?" Splinter inquires gently without any sort of authority in his voice.

Leo turns to see him then his eyes flicker to me.

I give him a look of assurance that I'll be right here. I do make sure he knows that if he doesn't want to then he can decline.

Leo turns back to Splinter and gives a soft nod so the other heads into the dojo.

"Why don't we have a sit? We don't need to do any kind of practice unless you'd rather do so." Splinter offers giving Leo such a gentle look. He is doing so well to make sure that there is no sternness or anything that might set Leo off. He sits down in the middle of the dojo. His spot is so if Leo wants he can head for the exit.

Leo moves to sit beside Splinter and he looks to me.

I pick my spot as soon as I see where they've sat themselves. I sit close by while giving them a little space. I don't give much space so I'm still rather close just not right beside Leo. I stay where Leo can see me the most. I stay as relaxed as I can wanting to assure my brother that it's okay.

Leo sees that I am relaxed which does seem to help him lose a little of his tension.

Splinter gives Leo a moment to get a little more comfortable sitting with him. He begins once that is done. "I know that I am not the one you knew. However I would still like to say I'm sorry for what you had to go through." His words cause Leo to slightly glance to him in surprise. "Sometimes bad things that are out of our control happen. It is very upsetting to me to hear about your situation. Something you can look forward to is that it's over. It won't be easy to move on however it won't be happening again." He watches Leo slightly glance away. He slightly reaches a hand over to place comfortingly on Leo's shoulder, only to pause before he even gets close. He pulls his hand away putting it back onto his lap.

I know that it was a good decision on his part. I'm not sure Leo's ready for that.

"Never forget that you're not alone." Splinter points out and Leo's eyes dart to me. "Your family and friends are there for you. You can always lean on them for support. Healing takes time. Sometimes longer than we would like." He goes quiet to give Leo a chance to speak if he wants to. He clearly won't push him though.

"You might not know the answer to this. But I still don't understand what was gained from it all." Leo admits a little quietly as he stares down at his lap.

"Actions like that don't achieve anything other than to harm the one targeted. I'm sure he could come up with excuses for it, but that's all that it is. Excuses. Such behavior is actually unacceptable. I am deeply sorry that it was ever allowed to happen. It was never your fault no matter what he might have said to make it seem like it. That's what they do. They try to turn it on their target and make it their fault. When in truth it isn't. It is the fault of the one who decided to do such a thing. It is not easy to get out of the mindsets those like him try to put you in."

Leo softly nods looking a little grateful about this.

I smile to myself as well. I think I made the right choice in agreeing to this. I also wouldn't have pushed it if Leo had said no, or indicated to me that he didn't want this. I still keep an eye on him just in case. I can signal to Splinter if things need to be cut off. I don't want Leo to be pushed too far. I do notice that Splinter does seem to keep a slight eye on me. I can see that he's looking for any signs to stop.

Splinter is trusting me to let him know if things are going to become too much. He is also letting himself be very clear about any intentions. He really does want to help without overstepping boundaries.

I softly nod that it's okay right now. I know that Leo might try to hide things if it becomes too much. I think Splinter knows it too, or at least suspects it, so he knows I can watch for any signs from Leo for him.

Ones that might be overlooked if you don't know what to look for.

"If you wish to discuss any other part or have any other questions to ask you may. No matter if they may seem stupid. Getting things off your mind may help. I won't be troubled or upset no matter what or when you wish to talk. You can even bring whoever you feel most comfortable with during those times. I will not object to them being there. If you don't want to talk then that is fine as well. I just want you to know that if you want to talk more I am available for you."

Leo's eyes go from side to side in thought for a few moments, before he seems to make up his mind. His hands clenched into fists.

I feel on edge when I see this though I'll see if Leo manages to speak first. I'll rush over if he doesn't. I just know that he's stressing out a bit.

"I was expected to be perfect. No flaws. But even now when I make a mistake all I can think about is that he might have seen." Leo pauses to sigh before continuing. "He's gone though. Yet I tend to forget and even look to see if he's there." He stops at this as if worried he'll ramble too much.

I can tell by the shift in his eyes that he's letting somethings out, however he still doesn't want to share other things. I can probably talk to him about whatever he's holding back. I just understand why he doesn't want to bring everything up.

"No one can be perfect. We all make mistakes. You do not need to feel bad about forgetting. You're still healing and I am sure he must have drilled that reaction into you. It's impossible for anyone to just forget such things immediately. There is no shame in taking all the time you need to recover. No one will get upset at you for it."

Leo nods softly to this.

"Is there anything else you wish to discuss or ask? It can be about anything. I am open to whatever you want to discuss. As I wish to try to help you in your recovery while you're here. If you want me to that is. You can always say no."

Leo stares at the ground in front of him thoughtfully for a few moments. He tries to decide if he does want to inquire about anymore or if he's done here.

I blink encouragingly at him though I don't push him. I know that he still has uncomfortableness around Splinter which no one blames him for it. I wont be upset with him if he wishes to keep some things hidden. I'll just be there to help him in anyway that I can.

"What if at some point I project anything he did on my family? I don't want to hurt them but I'm supposed to be the leader, and I just worry that one day I'll just end up like him. Even though I don't want to."

"I am sure that you won't." Splinter assures Leo who listens. "You have experienced how horrible such a thing is. You will try to avoid it instead of lean towards it. It may be a scary thought because it was what he had done while supposed to be a leader. The fact that you're worrying about it proves to me that you won't become anything like him. You don't want to put your brothers through that, and thus you won't let that happen. You care about them just as they care about you."

Leo takes a breath and nods looking glad to hear this.

"If you want any help on better ways to help or lead your family you can ask me or our Leo. Whoever you feel the most comfortable with. We are all ready to help you all out in anyway that we can. Just let us know. And even if you don't want to do that idea that's alright. We aren't going to force you to do anything."

"I'll consider the offer." Leo informs Splinter who smiles softly at this.

"Then I'll leave that up to you." Splinter does seem glad that things are going alright.

I have to admit he's handling everything so great that Leo isn't getting overwhelmed.

"It may be a heavy subject." Those words already put me on edge. "But would you like to have a discussion about how you felt after he passed away? I'm not filled in with how he passed away. I just know that he left a big impact, and when he died I don't doubt that you had a huge rush of emotions. Probably with a predominant feeling of freedom."

Leo's hands shift in and out of making fists as he picks a spot on the floor. His arms stiff to try to not tremble.

I can quickly pick up that things are going a little too far. I can see the emotional strain affecting and overwhelming him. I quickly move closer which does catch Splinters attention. "That's enough for right now." I insist looking to meet this Splinters gaze. My arm having moved to be around Leo's shoulders.

Splinter nods softly to me. "Alright. I will leave you two alone. We don't have to continue if you don't want to. Feel free to let me know if you do." He gets to his feet and leaves so I turn my full attention to Leo.

I pull Leo close with both arms around him now. "I've got you." I assure him as I hold onto him. I feel him lean into me which I welcome. I rub some soothing circles on his shell. "Remember to breathe. You're safe I promise. It's just us right now. You don't have to hide." I feel a few drops of tears that have fallen from his face. I give a soothing soft rumble and stay close to him, letting him cry if it's what he needs. I'm not going anywhere as I don't care what happens.

Leo is way more important.

We sit there for a bit as I let him cry while making sure that things don't get worse.

I don't want his crying to become anything like a panic attack. I feel him shift so I let him do so.

He shifts enough to look at me. He has a few last tears fall as he sniffles.

I place a loving hand on his cheek. I want to kiss him though I want to try to make sure things are at least better first. "Do you feel any better? We can do something to distract you if that's what you need."

Leo takes a few breaths leaning into my hand and focusing on me. "Please." He agrees once done with taking a few good breaths. "I'm feeling a little better but it'd be nice to do something else for a bit."

I nod in understanding. "Of course. We can do whatever you want to do."

Leo gives me a small appreciative smile. He leans in giving me a small kiss that I happily return. He pulls back slightly though our gazes are basically locked right now.

I wait to see what he'll decide he wants to do as a distraction.

In the junkyard...

The two Donatellos are searching the junkyard together to try to find parts. They left a little bit ago after making sure they had the list they needed.

"Do you mind if I ask you a question?" Donnie inquires while continuing to dig to which Donatello glances to him.

"I don't mind. What is it?" Donatello turns to continue his own search.

"What do you think of people who do really bad things but for a really good reason?"

Donatello pauses at the question turning to Donnie who doesn't even look up from his work. "What do you mean?"

"I mean let's say someone had an obsessive ex. That ex breaks into the house you share with the other and you kill that ex, knowing that this ex is crazy enough to do horrible things. Would that still make you bad? Or what about if someone commits a robbery to pay for medical bills, or even to feed their family? Are they still bad just because they committed a crime?" Donnie finally stops his searching.

Donatello wonders where this kind of questioning is even coming from. "Well I do suppose that there can be reasonable reasons to commit a crime. Not every reason is reasonable, though I'm sure that there are those out there that are." He admits still watching Donnie. "What makes you ask if I may ask?"

"Oh. Well I guess sometime before we came here I just read somewhere of a boy going to jail. All because he shot dead an intruder to protect his mother. I guess it just doesn't want to leave my mind." Donnie shrugs. "I guess I was also wondering what someone else would think."

Donatello is quiet for a moment before speaking a thought. "Do you have any thoughts on if you had done something to your Splinter? In order to protect your family?" He inquires to which Donnie turns to Donatello with wide eyes. "Put it all to an end for the sake of those you care about? Do you wish that had happened? Or perhaps you wanted some kind of revenge for what he had done? Even though murder is a big crime with heavy consequences?" He tries to analyze Donnies gaze trying to read him. "Wondering if it would make you a bad person, well mutant, just because you wanted to protect your family?"

Donnie glances away, as he feels a little uncomfortable that Donatello is a bit too close to the truth.

"Hmm." Donatello lets out a slight hum of thought as he continues to gaze at Donnie. "Well let's do a what if. What if you did kill him. Would you be willing to carry the knowledge that you killed with you?"

"Of course I would!" Donnie looks back to Donatello with a strong gaze. "It would all be worth it in the end! If I did it and had the option to go back to not do it I'd decline. I'd rather live with the knowledge that I killed rather than let him continue."

"Do you regret that something else took him away before you could do anything?" Donatello inquires and Donnie is quiet for a moment to really think about his answer.

Donnie knows that he should be careful. He's not all that sure about revealing what they had to do just yet. "We needed him out of our lives. And we got our wish. One way or another. It worked out in the end so I don't really have any complaints."

"What did he die from if you don't mind me asking. I'm just curious since what if it's an illness that takes our Splinter? Or an enemy we need to look out for? I'd like to know about it if that's okay."

Donnie tries to not recoil as he's not sure how to answer that. If he lies then what if his brothers said another lie already? He knows they'd be contradicting each other which might make them look suspicious. He could be truthful as maybe this other version of him would understand. He still isn't even sure that he should be honest about it. He has to come up with a response soon before this other version gets suspicious. "We're not fully sure. We didn't really take a deep look to figure it out. Leo and Raph were at Caseys at the time due to... Well you know... Mikey was at Aprils needing to be away for a little bit that day. But not wanting to be alone. I stayed to keep track of Him. I realized that he was dead and I got Raph to come so we took him out. We buried him somewhere that no one would find. It still took time for Leo and Raph to return from Casey's. Many days in fact. But I don't blame them. We all were just glad that it's over." He really hopes that he isn't contradicting what anyone else might have said.

"I see. It must have been a hard time."

"It was. We're still working through a lot as I'm sure you've been able to see." Donnie is glad that Donatello has accepted the story.

Donatello nods his head. "Yeah. It's not an easy thing so we understand."

The two turn away to continue the search finding all needed parts plus extra stuff. They head back to the lair where they go into the lab.

"I'll get us something to eat. Unless you wanna come. I'm sure our brothers will be on our shells if we don't have anything to eat." Donatello suggests making Donnie chuckle.

"Probably. I'm good with organizing this stuff. You go ahead."

Donatello nods and heads out. He finds his Leonardo and Raphael chatting on the sofa. He approaches them noticing Michelangelo reading a comic in front of the sofa.

Leonardo turns with Raphael soon following. "Hey. How'd it all go?"

"Good. Though there is something I wanted to get your opinions on." Donatello admits to which the three look to him. "The new guys. They're being very truthful about things but I think that there is one part of something that's being hidden."

"What do you mean?" Raphael questions with his eyes narrowing.

"What they've said about everything else does in my mind appear truthful. It's just I was talking with their Donnie at the junkyard. And we kind of talked about their Splinters death among some other things. Something about the explanation he gave and how he acted seemed off. Im not really sure what happened to cause their Splinter to die. I just think that they're avoiding what actually caused it."

"Well I mean talking about their Splinter would be a hard topic. So maybe you're overthinking about it?" Michelangelo muses out loud. "I mean you said everything else they've told us has been truthful. So why would they try to hide how their Splinter died?"

"Maybe I am. I mean the explanation was reasonable. He just seemed pretty tense and worried about his story." Donatello tries to shrug it off thinking that Michelangelo might be right.

"There are other factors that would make you think this. Tell us more about what happened out there." Leonardo points out.

"Well he did bring up a weird question." Donatello admits before explaining that conversation with his brothers.

For a moment there is silence that Raphael is the first to break.

"That is a weird question to ask."

"You don't think they might have had a hand in killing their Splinter?! Do you?!" Michelangelo's are wide at the very thought.

"I'm not sure. It could just be a coincidence or I'm overthinking it all. That question he posed did kind of throw me off. I might have just overanalyzed everything after that." Donatello honestly admits suddenly doubting whether or not his thoughts have any truth.

"We should be sure of any sort of suspicions before we bring it up to them." Leonardo decides for them as the three listen to his words. "It's probably not our business what happened to their Splinter. Things are clearly different in their world compared to ours. Besides it'd be wrong to jump on some uncertain suspicions. Do we really need to know all the information?" He glances around as the three seem to understand his point. "They're dealing with a lot right now. We've all seen the signs of it. So let's not go stirring things up that we don't need to. If we all want we can discuss things together with Sensei if it does end up being true. True that they did have a hand in their worlds Splinters death."

"Okay. I was gonna go make food before returning to the lab." Donatello nods heading to the kitchen with Michelangelo quickly following to help.

Leonardo and Raphael turn as Leo and Raph come join them in the living room.

Leo tries to seem okay though it's clear his emotions are weighing him down a bit.

Leonardo suggesting they watch Space heroes perks Leo up a little. He turns it on so they can all watch together. Though he can't stop thinking about what was suggested this group might have done.