Chapter 1
Flick Duck came home from school, across Lake Hoohaw, a little tired as usual. And when he looked in the windows of his yacht, they looked all blacked out as if his mother thought there was an active shooter on the loose. He dreaded the thought that no one was home to greet him and slowly opened the door. It was totally dark inside, but once he stepped all the way in, he was in for a shock.
The lights came on, and everyone cheered. "Happy 9th birthday, Flick!" It was his mother, Pinch and Scooch Raccoon, Timon and Pumba in formal attire, The Snooties, Mayor Jeff, Munchy Beaver, PB&J Otter, most of the Lake Hoohaw Parents, and two familiar villains who had shown him a hopping, good time before - Don Karnage and Megavolt.
"Peanut! Munchy!" Flick exclaimed. "You didn't forget my special day after all!"
"That what friends are for," said Peanut with a smile.
"Speaking of special things," added Flick. "I smell babbleberry pie."
"Babbleberry and strawberry pie, that is," said his mother. "Who wants some?"
"We all do," answered Megavolt.
"I'll cut it," said Flick's mother. "Flick, the first serving is yours."
The three pies were divided equally between everyone, and it was flat out tasty. Even Don Karnage thought so. "Shirley, I don't know how you do it."
"To do it at home," answered Shirley. "you'd have to grow the babbleberries yourself."
"And it'll clearly be worth it," added Munchy. "Because this is even better than wood."
"Too bad Darkwing Duck and Launchpad are both too busy today, dealing with Quackerjack," smirked Megavolt. "This is a bite of heaven."
"Too bad Baloo is too busy, pampering my friends, Ratchet, Clank, and Trevor," smirked Don Karnage. "This is the best pie I've ever tasted in my life."
Everyone finished up their pie, and Shirley made a further announcement. "This it it, Flick. Time to open your presents."
Flick tore open the present from Don Karnage, and it was just what he had wanted. It was a six-foot-tall Mallard Man action figure. "Yes oh, yes oh, yes! Don Karnage, you are an amazing friend!"
"I think so, too," added Megavolt.
Shirley handed Flick a nifty looking present from under the table. "Flick, this one is from Munchy."
Flick tore open the wrapping paper to reveal a pristine, wood sculpture of Don Karnage and was totally grateful. "Munchy, this is the best thing you've ever sculpted!"
Flick went through eight more presents before coming to the very last one. "This one is from Megavolt," stated Shirley.
Flick tore it open to reveal a nice, shiny MP3 player. "Wow-wee, Megavolt. How did you know I wanted an MP3 player?"
"MP3 players are totally popular these days," answered Megavolt.
"And now, comes the surprise present," declared Don Karnage. "Megavolt and I are headed directly to Oshkosh, Wisconsin for the Aerobatic World Championship, taking off tonight. You get to come along, because we got you two VIP tickets for it. And two tickets mean you get to choose a friend to bring along."
It was not a super hard decision for Flick. "Peanut, I choose you."
"Yes oh, yes oh yes!" cried Peanut with a smile.
Timon and Pumba were badly jealous, so Timon spoke up quickly. "Can Pumba and I come along too? Please, please, please!"
Chapter 2
"No way, Timon," answered Megavolt. "The two of you didn't have the sense to wear any pants to this party."
"Besides," added Don Karnage. "tickets are already sold out."
"They call me 'Mr. Pig'!" exclaimed Pumba and charged right at the four friends, but Megavolt tazed him with his electrical superpower.
"Flick, Peanut," said Karnage. "get your bags packed and meet us out, on the boardwalk. The planes await."
Five minutes later, Flick and Peanut came outside with their suitcases in hand and Karnage led them and Megavolt right to the airstrip, where the five planes were parked. While Don Karnage, Megavolt, Mad Dog, Dumptruck, Hacksaw, Kit Cloudkicker, Hal, and Jock loaded their luggage in and got the planes ready, Timon was judging his moment and having a one on one meeting with Pumba. "We don't have to fret about not getting to go with Don Karnage and his friends to the Aerobatic World Championship. We just have to sneak past him and those other pilots and stow on board one of those marvelous planes."
"But Timon," whined Pumba. "What it one of them does see us?"
"Shhhh!" exclaimed Timon. "We don't want them to hear us over here!"
While Timon and Pumba stayed hidden, Don Karnage was assigning seats. "Flick, Peanut, you, as the passengers of honor, will be riding in my plane. Megavolt, you'll be flying Jock's plane all the way there before performing, in the show, as my wing walker. Kit, you'll be doing the wing walking, on Hacksaw's plane, in the show. And Jock, you'll be the wing walker on Mad Dog's plane. Any questions?"
Kit raised his hand.
"Yes, Kit," said Karnage.
Kit carried out his question. "If we win the title, can we have a no dress code day afterwards?"
While Timon and Pumba sneaked past all the pilots and wing walkers, Karnage reminded Kit of something vital. "We all wear pants for a crucial reason. Even in our off season, there's no telling what kind of aviation fan we'll run into, so we shall never have a no dress code day. But if we do win the title, we can all go on a Royal Caribbean Cruise together. Flick, Peanut, that includes both of you."
"That sounds like quite excessive partying for me," gasped Peanut.
"We have to get this show in the air anyway," replied Don Karnage. "Everyone on board."
All pilots and passengers got in their assigned seats. The planes started right up. And right in the nick of time, Timon and Pumba got in Jock's plane through the supply hatch before the planes were all cranked up to full throttle and took right off. That was when Timon noticed something prestigious. All five planes got into a V formation with Don Karnage at the front tip. It was easy to eavesdrop from back there, But what they heard was considerably creepy. "Megavolt to Don Karnage. Megavolt to Don Karnage. I have a suspicious feeling that Claude Frollo will be one of this year's judges."
Chapter 3
Don Karnage came on the two way radio promptly. "I have a suspicious feeling that Tommy Vercetti will be there to attack us."
Over in Karnage's plane, Flick and Peanut laughed their heads off, and Hacksaw came on the radio. "I recently found out, Stephen and Jack Quire will be up against us."
"And they've been quite the entertainers on YouTube," added Megavolt.
Timon and Pumba trembled in the back of Jock's plane while the jokes continued, and minutes later, it all got more hairy. All five planes hit turbulence. So while everyone else was strapped in safely, Timon and Pumba got jostled around in the back of Jock's plane, hitting their heads on the floor, the glass dome, and even each other.
The shaking went on for almost two hours, but the jokes continued, next from Megavolt. "I've been told that Jeremy Clarkson will also be taking us on."
"In which very case," added Don Karnage. "we'll show him just how smart Americans, like us, can be."
About 40 minutes later, all five planes landed in Oshkosh, and out climbed everyone. Everyone, that was, except for Timon and Pumba, because Timon was once again, somewhat uneasy. "Pumba, if we get spotted by the wrong contestant or spectator, I'm telling you, they'll want to kidnap us."
"Just, where will they get the right number to phone in the ransom?" questioned Pumba.
"Not a ransom, my friend," Timon answered. "A pet! They'll want to keep us as pets!"
"And another thing," groaned Pumba. "I really have to use the bathroom." So he and Timon checked to see if the coast was clear and right when they saw that it was, Pumba hopped right out and hid under a rival plane to do his business.
When Flick and Peanut turned in their VIP tickets on their way in, the box office declared the next move. "Here are your VIP passes. Rutledge Wood will now show you to the VIP lounge."
Sure enough, Rutledge stepped right out with a smile. "Flick, Peanut, right this way."
"This sounds like it'll be so sweet," said Flick with total excitement.
"And I'm very glad you chose me to bring along," added Peanut. "At a major event, like this, there's no telling who or what would make Munchy totally nervous. Not to mention, tempt my little sister, Butter, to run off."
"Don't get me wrong, though," added Flick. "You, Munchy, Jelly, Butter, Pinch, Mayor Jeff, and the Snooties have all been unfailingly loyal friends."
Rutledge led Flick and Peanut to a door, labeled 'VIP Passes Only' and opened it right up. "Here we are, kids. Enjoy the show."
Flick and Peanut stepped inside the lounge, and it was gorgeous. There were two unisex bathrooms, a panoramic view of the action, 16 recliners, with cup holders, all facing the view, a touch screen drink machine, a delicious buffet table with a silk table cloth, and 14 fellow spectators. One of them was Zootopia's former mayor, Leodore Lionheart. "Well, what of you know? Flick Duck and Peanut Otter from Lake Hoohaw."
"Precisely," said Flick.
Peanut took a good look around and recognized five other VIP figures, Eddie Korbich, Ariana Grande, RJ Raccoon, Hammy the Squirrel, and someone who he and Flick had once co-starred with – Lucas Black. "I remember you," he told Lucas.
Chapter 4
"And I remember you, too!" Lucas exclaimed. "You and I starred in a viral movie together, because you won that endurance boat race!" (Drift King VS Surf King)
Timon and Pumba eavesdropped on the conversation through the ceiling, while Flick took it further. "Butter was still only two years old, and because of that, Peanut and Jelly never could have won without Don Karnage."
"And he's the contestant we both came here with," added Peanut.
"He was also in that film with us," added Lucas. "flying that chopper as your getaway pilot."
Before the chat could go any further, the announcements began. "Greeting everyone and welcome to America's aerobatic championship! Who's ready for some epic, high flying action?"
The crowd cheered throughout the grandstand loud enough to make the structure vibrate.
The announcements carried on. "Before our first contending team takes to the skies, please give a nice, warm welcome to our five judges. Judge number one served our nation well even though is successful running mate didn't. He only served one term in office and is determined to pick up his running mate's slack. Please welcome Mike Pence!"
The crowd cheered well as if to be totally sober.
The announcer carried on. "Our second judge, this year, is a once wanted Australian kidnapper, who went the longest way to monetize the very rarest of wildlife, but has now turned it all around in favor of hiring convicted felons. Please welcome Percival C. McLeach!"
The crowd cheered as if to be mostly relaxed.
The announcer continued. "Our third judge of the year came all the way from Russia, and his family had some odd misconceptions about America. But wasted no time, learning English. And most importantly, he wears pants amid several enemies who don't, just as Don Karnage always does. Please carry out a warm welcome for Fivel Mousekewitz!"
Fivel appeared on the jumbo tron and the crowd really cheered.
The announcer carried on as promised. "Our fourth Judge of the year is an experienced touring car driver who has won just about 90% of his races and defeated more than one gang of assassins but has no flying experience. Please welcome Speed Racer!"
Once again, the crowd wasted no time, cheering.
"And finally, for our fifth judge," declared the announcer. "Some say he's more raccoon than human and that if he came in contact with Justin Bieber, the rest of Bieber's concerts would be horror shows. Please welcome Bradley Cooper!"
The crowd gave their warmest welcome, yet. And needless to say, Flick was pumping with anticipation. "I just can't wait to see more of Don Karnage's profound aerobatic flying!"
"Neither can I," replied Peanut.
The announcements went on. "The first competing team, this year, is… Team Willis! On the count of three, Team Willis, start your engine and show us what you got 1...2...3!"
Team Willis' single plane promptly took off, and it was soon clear why they had that name. The spectators saw clearly on the jumbo tron that the pilot was the legendary Bruce Willis, and it was just as clear who the wing walker was – Lindsay Lohan. Willis started out with a vertical figure-eight, and the bottom tip of it appeared to bring Lindsay's head within 35 feet of the ground. Willis carried on with a vertical zigzag, which seemed to frighten some spectators that Lohan was going to fly off the pole, but surprisingly, she didn't. For a third bold move, Bruce Willis flew diagonally within 20 feet of the spectators, giving them a close up of both himself and Lohan. Some felt honored, but others were petrified. And crazier was to come. Lindsay's left arm got caught in the wind, and she tumbled right off, into the crowd. Five of them were grateful to catch her safely while the rest were terrified. Following that, Willis decided to conclude his performance and land.
Chapter 5
25 seconds later, it was time for the show to go on. The judges awarded Team Willis 38 points. And the announcer went on to the second team. "Okay everyone. Time for our second competing team of the year: Team Anaheim!"
In flew Mighty Ducks players, Wildwing, Duke, and Tanya, in aerobatic caliper jets, in unfailing formation. They kicked off their performance with a diagonal formation figure-eight, releasing the most colorful smoke throughout it. From there, they did rolls while simultaneously setting off fireworks in mid-air.
While Team Anaheim continued their performance, Don Karnage went over his game plan with his friends and lackeys last minute. "Megavolt, are you ready for your wing walking IOE?"
"You bet I am," answered Megavolt confidently.
"What's an IOE?" asked Kit.
"It stands for Initial Operating Experience," Megavolt explained. "It's a test for flight attendant trainees in the last few days of the program."
"And because they have to work holidays," added Karnage. "wing walking is so much cooler. Speaking or super cool, Mad Dog, Dumptruck, Hal, the three of you and I will first be doing inside loops at different altitudes while Hacksaw flies through all four of those smoke rings consecutively. After that, Hacksaw, Hal, Mad Dog, Dumptruck, you'll be doing outside loops at different altitudes while I fly through all four of those rings consecutively. From there, we will all zoom straight up and use our rudders to steer to the right. After that, Megavolt, you'll sky dive from my plane to Hacksaw's. Kit, you'll sky dive from Hacksaw's plane to mine. And Jock, you'll sky dive from Mad Dog's plane to Dumptruck's. Any further questions?"
The friends and lackeys took a brief glance at each other and Mad Dog spoke up. "I think we're ready, boss."
"We just about are," agreed Megavolt.
"Good to know," Don Karnage said confidently. "Now, get in position for your most important performance, yet."
Team Anaheim wrapped up their performance with a smoke trail in the shape of a heart, and as they came down for a nice, smooth landing, the judges awarded them 41 points. At this point, in the competition, Flick was more excited than ever. "Peanut! Peanut! Team Karnage is just about to perform! You just don't want to miss it!"
Peanut promptly woke up and paid attention. "Thanks for the reminder. If nothing goes wrong, we'll never forget this performance."
Seconds later, the announcer carried on. "Our next team to perform today is a totally noble team, because they've swapped piracy for acrobatics, which they are just about to show us, and they not only wear pants, but face off against several different enemies who don't. Please welcome Team Karnage!"
Don Karnage, Mad Dog, Dumptruck, Hacksaw, and Hal all took to the air simultaneously, and Karnage's lackeys obeyed him like clockwork. With all three wing walkers in place, he, Mad Dog, Dumptruck, and Hal took different positions around the air field and began their loops while Hacksaw began flying right through them.
Over in the VIP lounge, Peanut was in totally high spirits. "I'm totally glad you chose me to bring along on this amazing vacation."
"It was only fair," Flick agreed. "When you have to choose between me and Munchy to bring along, because you only have two tickets on hand, you figure out a way to satisfy us both. Because of that, I really like your thinking."
"And this is the best aerobatic performance I've seen in my entire eight years," added Peanut. "I really like Don Karnage's thinking."
"I couldn't agree more," Flick told him in the best of moods.
Meanwhile, outside in economy class, side by side, sat Don Karnage's parents, who he hadn't seen in 18 years, and his father was confiding to his mother. "That looks like our adult son in one of those planes. I wish we had never convinced him to run away."
Then, Karnage's mother got a little emotional. "I was afraid something terrible had happened to him years ago. If only he survives this big performance, we'll be happy as clams to see him again."
Rebecca Cunningham happened to be sitting nearby and got a different kind of emotional. "What in the world are you two thinking, rooting for that totally cruel Don Karnage?"
Chapter 6
"Don Karnage was born with us," answered the mom. "yet, he ran away from home at age 13, and we haven't heard from him since."
"That sort of home must have been quite a pain for him," Rebecca commented.
"There was quite a lot of work to do there," replied the dad. "It was a humble farm house."
Team Karnage concluded their performance, and the judges awarded them up to 49 points. Seconds later, up in the rafters, Pumba was getting restless. "Timon, when can we venture elsewhere? It's awfully dusty up here." But he blew some dust up Timon's nose, and made a run for cover as Timon sneezed. That caused the ceiling to give right out on both of them.
Timon and Pumba landed right in the middle of the VIP lounge, and fourteen separate members pointed at them with a fragment of a known song. "B-U-S-T-E-D; you are busted!"
Timon and Pumba had a panic attack simultaneously and dashed out the door, where two security guards promptly gave chase. The chase went all through the stands, out the gate, into the parking lot, and who knows how far? Once the known duo was out of sight, a third member of security came in to comfort all VIPs. "Don't worry, everyone. We're not going to accuse any of you of this damage. We'll get to work on repairing this lounge right after this event."
"Fair enough," replied Flick with a smile. "And you should have seen the panic attack those two trespassers just had."
That was when the announcements went further. "Ladies and gentlemen, we now turn our attention to our fourth and final competing team of the year. They'll do anything to pull off a successful heist. They were beaten badly at Megavolt's birthday party. And now, they've come all this way for revenge. Please welcome Team Phillips!"
Trevor Phillips and Michael De Santa both flew into the stadium in basic aerobatic planes and promptly began their routine. They started out with a vertical, rectangular figure-eight in formation, Flick could tell the formation was just a little imprecise, and while the two pilots got in position to bump wing tips, Flick had news for Peanut. "My cousin, Billy, told me all about these guys. He's played as both of them in Grand Theft Auto V and beaten the game three separate times."
"Have you ever tried it?" asked Peanut.
"I can't for a while," answered Flick. "It's rated M for mature."
Michael and Trevor carried on by combining a roll with a nosedive and just hardly out of formation, pulling up to zoom off in opposite directions. To finish it off, the daring duo pretended to play Chicken and at the last moment, both pulled up at once only to clip each other's wings in what was almost a head on collision. Luckily, the two had parachutes on hand and came down gently while the judges awarded them 36 points. That was when the mass chanting began. "Don Karnage! Megavolt! Don Karnage! Megavolt! Don Karnage! Megavolt!"
Don Karnage, Megavolt, and the rest of Team Karnage walked out to the middle of the stadium and took a bow while all spectators cheered and they were handed the eight-foot-tall trophy and $500,000 cash prize. Moments later, Flick, Peanut, and Karnage's parents all came out to the field for some long overdue hugs. "Don!" cried his mother. "I was afraid we'd lost you for life!"
"And you finally made us proud!" exclaimed his father.
"Please come by for a visit tomorrow," said his mother emotionally. "We've missed you badly."
"I would," answered Don Karnage. "but I promised my team that if we won this trophy, we could go on the next Royal Caribbean Cruise. Flick, Peanut, you both get to come, too."
"We get it," said Karnage's father. "Good for you for fulfilling your promise."
Three days later, Don Karnage, Megavolt, Flick, Peanut, Kit, Mad Dog, Dumptruck, Hacksaw, Hal, and Jock were down at the dock, boarding the third-of-a-mile ship, and Kit confided deeply in Karnage. "I always knew you'd keep your word."
Mad Dog, though, had a very different comment. "It feels pretty weird boarding for the ocean rather than the sky."
"Don't worry, my friend," replied Karnage with an all time smile. "I got us an all inclusive package. You'll enjoy it."
And yes, Don Karnage did run away from a difficult home as a young teenager. But that young teenager became a pilot. That pilot became an acrobat. That acrobat became a ring leader. That ring leader became a millionaire. That millionaire became a champion. And that champion became an icon.