JENNIE

February 2

Mrs. Kramer folds her hands and smiles her too-broad smile. "How are you, Jennie?"

"I'm fine, and you?"

"I'm fine. Let's talk about you. I want to know how you're feeling."

"I'm good actually. Better than I've been in a long time."

"Really?" She's surprised.

"Yes. I've even started writing again. And riding in a car."

"How are you sleeping?"

"Pretty well, I think."

"Any bad dreams?"

"No."

"Not even one?"

"Not in a while now."

For the first time, it's the truth.

In Russian lit, Mrs. Mahone assigns us a five-page paper on Turgenev's Fathers and Sons. She looks at me, and I don't mention anything about Extenuating Circumstances or not being ready. I copy down the notes like everyone else. Afterward, Taehyung says, "Can I talk to you?"

Mrs. Mahone watches as I walk on by her. I give her a wave.

"What's up?" I say to Taehyung.

We go out into the hallway and are swept along with the sea of people. Taehyung takes my hand so he doesn't lose me, and I'm like, Oh God. But then there's a little break in the crowd and he lets go.

"Where are you headed next?"

"Lunch."

We walk together, and Taehyung says, "So I just wanted to let you know that I asked Niki out. I thought you should hear it from me before it got all over school."

"That's great." I almost say something about Manoban, but then I'm not sure what to say because I don't know what we are or if we're anything. "Thanks for telling me. I hope Niki knows what a good guy you are."

He nods, gives me his signature smile—I can see the dimple—and then says, "I don't know if you heard, but Roamer went after Manoban today in gym."

"What do you mean 'went after'?"

"Whatever. Banged her up a little. Roamer's an asshole."

"What happened? Like, to them? Did they get expelled?"

"I don't think so. It was Kappel's class, and he's not going to report Roamer and risk losing him for practice. I gotta go." A few steps away, he turns. "Manoban didn't even try to defend herself. She just stood there and took it."

In the cafeteria, I walk past my regular table, past Krystal and Roamer and the audience gathered there. I can hear Roamer talking, but I can't hear what he's saying.

I walk to the other side of the room, toward a half-empty table, but then behind me I hear my name. Seulgi Kang is sitting with the two Dianas and a dark-haired girl named Lara at a round table by the window.

"Hey," I say. "Do you mind if I join you?" I feel like I'm the new girl again, trying to make friends and figure out where I t.

Seulgi picks up her backpack and sweater and keys and phone and all the other things that are spilled across the table and dumps them onto the floor. I set my tray down and sit next to her.

Lara is so small, she looks like a freshman, even though I know we're in the same class. She is telling the story of how, just five minutes ago, she accidentally, without meaning to, told her crush she loved him. Instead of crawling under the table, she just laughs and keeps eating.

Then the Dianas are talking about life after high school—one is planning to be a copy editor, and the other is practically engaged to her longtime boyfriend. She says she might run a cookie shop one day or write book reviews, but whatever she does, she's going to enjoy everything she can while she can. The boyfriend joins us, and the two of them sit side by side looking comfortable and happy and like they really might be together forever.

I eat and listen, and at some point Seulgi leans over and says in my ear, "Kai Jongin is poison." I raise my water bottle and she raises her soda can. We tap them together and drink.