My back aches in the morning, but it comes with the terrioty of sleeping on the ground. "Cat?" I call, groggily. I can see his silhouette at the entrance, and I stretch as I get up, walking toward him. "Nothing to report?"
Cat seems lost in thought, until I nudge him. "Hm? No, nothing to report. Let's get moving." We eat berries from the day before. The cave seems to be getting darker and I walk closer to Cat, slipping my hand into his. "Thank goodness for your night-vision, Kitty. I would have smacked into a rock ten times by now." "Bugaboo, your not the first girl I knew who was a bit clumsy." "Who'd you see in the village, anyway?" I ask. I meant to ask him, but I've been so busy. "Oh, just a friend," he says, lightly pulling his hand out of mine. "Does she have a name?" I press. Why is he being so vague? "You can have secrets, so, so can I." I hear the slight edge to his voice. "Cat, I never said you can't have secrets. I was just curious, that's all."
Cat stops so suddenly, I bump into him. "Maybe she's my girlfriend. After all, I have to be content when you kissed Adrien." Oh, Kitty, I can never tell we did more then kiss. "I asked you if you were okay with that, and you said yes." "Maybe I lied. Maybe I'm jealous of Adrien. After all, it seems like you love him more then me." Cat stalks off, leaving me behind. "Cat Noir!" Cat turns, eyes glowing green in the darkness, but its not the warm green I've grown accustomed to, its the cold green, and it makes my stomach churn. "Its not like you to lie, and you know how I feel about liars."
Cat laughs a biting laugh. "And you've never told a lie?" Of course. But only to keep my loved ones safe, though I hated doing it. "That's what I thought."
A sudden ache like a crushing boulder settles itself on my heart. Its not like us to fight, but when you break a trust, its nearly impossible to get back. I welcome the darkness for tears flow down my cheeks. Sure, I have to brave and confident, but I have my vulnerable side as well. Crying won't help, and I swipe at my cheeks quickly.
The deeper into the cave we go, the colder it gets and I can start to feel my hands growing numb, and my teeth soon start chattering. I long for Cat to come hold my hand, and crack a joke bringing the warmth of a smile to my face.
But no, he strides ahead, only checking to see if I'm still following him. But then, up ahead, I see a shaft of light, and at first I think my eyes are playing tricks on me. We aren't out from underground, but a hidden stream shimmers.
Cat and I splash our faces, and gulp down as much water as we can hold. Then, we're back to the path again, and silence is painful.
Its not until late afternoon that we exit the cave, and I hold up my fist for a pound it. "What are you waiting for?" Cat snaps, waiting on the trail. "A pound it," I tell him softly, working hard for my lip not quiver. "We do pound its when we're a team. And right now, we're individuals."
"Fine," I stalk past him, letting down my hair, so I can bundle it into a tail for minimum bother. The next mountain lies in the distance, but as we descend the hill, the mountain disappears.
When we stop for the night, Cat tells me to make my own shelter and fire. Then he's off, snapping bushes and twigs. After he leaves, I have to sit down for my legs feel all wobbly. Ducking my head, curling into a ball, I start to sob.
Darkness falls but I have no appetite for food or warmth, the only warmth I crave is my partner. I start to drift into a dream, and the landscape is similar to this forest…
A boulder lies up ahead and I can see Adrien watching me. My heart grows lighter at every step, and Adrien jumps down when I approach. "Well, its good to see you again, Little Bug," he tells me, pulling me into a hug. I bask in the warmth of his arms, safe and strong. "Adrien, I did something stupid," I blurt, looking up into those eyes that pull me in. "Come now, it can't be that bad. How about you tell me about?" He cups my cheek, and keeps one his hands in mine. "Cat and I had a fight over lies, and now I've feel like I've lost my best friend." "Lies aren't good, Ladybug. Are you keeping secrets by any chance?" Instantly, I feel a bit defensive. "No. He's the one keeping things from me." I want to pull my hand free, but I don't. Adrien doesn't say anything, just gives me a steady gaze. "Okay, yes, I have secrets, but that's nothing to be upset over!" "I don't like secrets, and Cat doesn't either." "Why-" "My father keeps me in the dark about everything, and if you started…"
My eyes snap open, the puzzle pieces falling into place. Cat hates secrets because he feels left in the dark, and that's why he's mad. I must right this wrong, but first I have to find him.
As I stand, I feel the pins and needles, and I dance in place. Controlling my chaotic hair is other matter, but I wrangle it into two buns with red ribbons. At last, I find Cat's camp site, not far from mine, and I pause, ducking behind a tree.
Cat is poking at the fire with a stick, his eyes lost, dull, for they have lost their shine. Counting to three, I stand up and walk into camp.
"Hey. Um, I'm sorry. I didn't know you didn't like secrets, or maybe I did know and I forget. Oh, I'm babbling…" I stop, my hand covering my blushing cheek. Cat's head jerks up. "How did you know I hate secrets?" I kick at some leaves. "Um, Adrien, told me. In a dream."
"Adrien, again, huh? Bet you wouldn't keep secrets from him," Cat says. "Cat, I said I was sorry." "Maybe I'm not ready yet. Maybe I just want to be alone." I step forward. "Cat," "Please go," he pleads in a voice I've never heard before.
"What about the mission?" I ask, in my softest voice. "I won't be far behind. Besides, your the only one to capture satsumas."
It takes every once of strength to leave, and find the trail. Just one step, then another. I've never felt this alone….since….Cat became Cat Blanc. I shudder, but I force myself to keep going. I take out a couple of rabbits making a fire at lunch. Though I don't taste the food, I have to eat.
At least its peaceful down in the forest, and the birds constantly sing and chirp. I hum a few bars feeling a little silly, even if there's no one about.
Without you by my side,
I feel alone and sad.
Your smile lights the way in the darkness,
Your eyes shines bright as moonlight.
Come back to me, for I miss the safety of your arms,
Your Ladybug is waiting.
I drink thristly from my bottle as I begin another climb uphill, but my now my legs have grown strong and no longer ache. Its my heart that aches for a joke or a pun from my partner.
I must not cry. I must not cry. Fog is starting to swirl around in my brain, and I try to keep it at bay. Memories keep flashing by my eyes. A whisper, a giggle, a stolen kiss.
I find a stream and drop my suit, and sit down at the edge, slipping my feet in. The water calms my bruised beating heart and I tilt my head back, allowing the sun to warm me. I don't stay long, and eventually my breathing evens out, and now I'm moving at a decent pace.
Cat wanted to be alone, fine, I can't even see him. Just as the sun is setting, I stumble into a small pit. Leaves cushion my fall, and I stand, assessing my situation. The hole is to hard to climb out of, and if I yell for help, I could attract unwanted attention.
Arrgh, Lady's Luck is certain not with me the last few days, and I must think of an escape. Darkness comes quickly, and I curl up, trying to make myself as small as possible.
I open my bug phone, maybe I can send a message? Great, no signal. I shut the thing with a disgusted snap, thinking I'll deal with it in the morning.
But sleep doesn't come easily, as I keep listening for danger. It would happen that I would get captured when I slumber.
The sky feels so low I could brush my hand across it, would it feel warm and velvety, or cold and inky? Stars are sprinkled in the heavens, like a giant hand tipped over the sugar bowl. Even if I am alone, at least I have this beauty.
My eyes grow heavy and I fight sleep, for I am now losing the battle. I drift away, and when my eyes open, I stand holding the Butterfly Miraculous aloft in victory, Cat by my side.
Dawn breaks, and I try for an hour, and I have to accept that I am well and truly trapped. I sit down, hoping for someone to come along and pull me free.
Dawn passes and the sun grows warm, if Cat didn't fight, would I be here now? I long to make up and see him smile, please rescue me, Cat, I wait for you, my knight in shining leather.