Jaime stood motionless as Podrick quietly closed the door of Brienne's chamber behind him. It took only moments for his eyes to grow accustomed to the dim light from the hearth which bathed the interior in a warm and welcoming glow. How well he remembered the nights spent there in Brienne's loving arms. Like Jenny of the Oldstones, he had never wanted to leave.
'But you did leave, you fool.' Jaime's own thoughts chastised him.
He stood sadly, watching Brienne sleep, as he had done those nearly six moons before. On that last fateful night he had forced himself to find the courage to abandon the woman he loved. Now, he fought himself for the strength to face her, to explain his actions and confess all he had done. Slowly, a weary but satisfied sigh floated from his lungs. Perhaps he truly had lost Brienne's love forever, but she was alive and safe. It was not an outcome he could have guaranteed if Cersei's life were not taken by the bricks under which he had dragged her. He had kept the Queen of his heart protected. Jaime knew that once Brienne decreed the course of his future, it might be the only comfort he would know.
Trembling with hope and dread, Jaime took a tentative step foward to where Brienne lay. She rested only inches from him, her form enveloped in a thick dark fur. Her shoulders rose and fell with the soft rhythm of sleep. She seemed an angel, oblivious to the troubles of the world. Jaime longed to slip beneath the blankets with her and revel in the feeling of his maid in his arms, just as he had done each night over the glorious weeks they were together. All the while the nerves beneath his skin yearned for her, Jaime felt wholly unworthy to be in Brienne's presence.
On the edge of his awareness Jaime noticed a small nondescript chair positioned near Brienne on the other side of the bed. It must have been left there by The Maester or Queen Sansa as they sat vigil at her side. Methodically, he made his way around the mattress to where Brienne faced. He smiled to himself recalling all the nights she had succumbed to her slumber and turned exhausted and spent onto her left side. Jaime's heart danced thinking of the many hours he had clung to her, his arms wrapped around her slender frame, and his face nestled into her neck. He onced belonged in her bed, now it was a right he would have to earn back, if she would allow it.
As he rounded the footboard, at last he could discern the precious features of Brienne's face. The breath stilled in his chest, as it did each time he beheld her. Even before he was certain he loved Brienne, Jaime had reacted to her as if she held his life in her hands. By the time he realized the truth in the sentiment, there was nothing he would not do for her. Sacrificing his own life to keep her safe, had been but a small price to pay.
Without making a sound Jaime settled onto the chair, his gaze never leaving Brienne's face. For the first time in many terrible weeks, Jaime felt as if he could finally breathe again. Every step he had taken from Brienne's side, had led him back to her. Surely, that had to mean they were bound to each other. Jaime wanted to believe the Gods had meant for all of it to occur, for him to prove the all consuming love which burned in his heart only for Brienne. His only trouble now was to convince her of it. Jaime had wanted to make Brienne hate him on the cold night in the courtyard, so desperately afraid he was that she would follow him to her death. His own death was practically assured, he would not add the loss of her life to his sins. As Jaime sat guard at Brienne's bedside this night, he prayed he had not been truly successful in that venture, that some small part of her could still find love for him. It was all he could hope.
Brienne was deep in slumber. The thick fur was gathered under her chin, and the fire burned in the hearth. She was warm and seemed comfortable. He took solace that there seemed no more alarm from either Winterfell's Maester or Queen Sansa. Jaime prayed Brienne would soon be returned to full health. He held his breath and she moaned softly in her sleep and nestled further into the softness of her bed. Jaime relaxed as, from there, Brienne seemed to travel further into her dreams. He hoped they were sweet. Her gentle sighs played around him like a ballad from the Heavens. Jaime would watch over her as long as she rested. He would not wake her. These precious calm moments were hers, and he envied them. Jaime himself could find no such rest, and he feared her waking would bring him no reprieve.
It was in the early darkness of the morning that Brienne began to stir. Jaime had remained at her bedside for hours, too hopeless even to move. Surely, she would shun him. Surely, she would refuse him. He had convinced himself that Brienne would never consent to hear the explanation which burned in his throat. However, his love for her was so great and all consuming that he would stand bravely and accept the stones she had to throw at him. He knew he deserved them all.
Jaime held his breath as Brienne murmured softly, her waking bringing awareness to her mind. She had not yet opened her eyes, but lay for a long moment as if she were gathering the strength to face the world. Her chest rose and fell deeply beneath the fur cover. Brienne's countenance was almost peaceful before she at last raised her lids in the dim light to regard the man seated next to her, whose very heart she held within her grasp. Brienne studied Jaime with an expression devoid of any emotion.
"You are alive." Brienne at last stated plainly.
"I am." Jaime lowered his chin and replied, ashamed.
Her impassive stare turned to a bitter scowl. "I am aware how important dying with your sister was to you." Brienne's eyes narrowed. "I'm sure the fact that you did not meet your end along with her is quite painful." She hissed ruefully. The bitterness in her tone ripped through Jaime like a jagged blade.
"It is not." Jaime replied. His shoulders fell with the weight of her indictment.
The silence that followed seemed as endless as the miles he had traveled from her so many moons before. Brienne regarded Jaime coolly, distantly, as though there were a million condemnations she wished to hurl in his direction, each more damning than the last. Yet, all she seemed able to muster was the questioning stare in which she beheld him. For Jaime, Brienne's silence was somehow worse than any blade which had ever pierced his flesh. Her hard gaze fell upon him like an executioners axe. All he could do was sit in guilty silence, and wait.
At last, Brienne broke the tension between them. "Why are you here?" She questioned dryly.
Jaime cleared his throat and moved nervously to perch upon the edge of his seat. His hand drew to a fist trying to halt the trembling which emanated from his core. "I came to explain myself to you." He began. "To declare to you how deeply and eternally I love you, and ..." he continued his admission.
"And?" Brienne eyed him suspiciously, uncertain what more he could possibly want from her.
Jaime leaned forward awkwardly. "And, to beg your forgiveness." He offered tentatively.
Brienne recoiled from the idea, and looked away. "My forgiveness." She repeated in a disgusted whisper.
In a voice made small by despair, Jaime replied to her admonition. "When I left…" He began remorsefully, only to stumble over his own thoughts. "The way that I left, my reasons…" He embarked slowly on his confession, only to be halted by Brienne's contempt.
All but ignoring Jaime's attempt to reveal the purpose for which he had abandoned her, Brienne reminded him of the promises he made when they shared their passions within the same bed upon which she now lay. "You said you were going to stay…here…with me." She reminded him harshly, her eyes still peering somewhere into the distant darkness. Her voice was so filled with hurt that Jaime could not keep the mournful edge from his own as he answered.
"I desired a future with you more keenly than ever I have wished for any blessing." He swore. "For that is what it surely would have been, a gift from The Gods themselves." Jaime entreated her to believe him.
Suddenly filled with rage, Brienne found the strength to bring her accusing glare around to capture Jaime in a vice grip of his own sins. "You desired it so much that one word of your sister's perils and you could not bare to spend another moment with me." She lashed out at him, rolling her eyes in disbelief.
Jaime nearly bolted from his chair, propelled by the ferocity of his appeal. "I did not leave The North because my sister was in danger. I left because you were." He would accept Brienne's anger, though he would not be stopped by it. Winning back her love had him locked in the most important battle of his life.
Brienne huffed as she sat up, eyeing Jaime with displeasure. It seemed to Jaime that she rose with some effort, less lithely than he remembered. His heart still raced with worry over her. Stiffly, she propped herself against the mound of pillows upon which she had slept and let out a long slow sigh, as if the effort had taken all of her energy. Warily, she pulled the thick fur that covered the bed even further up around her chest, obscuring most of herself from his stare. "Danger?" She scoffed. "I am Sworn Sword to The Queen in the North." She affirmed proudly. "I faced The Dead in battle, and avenged my King. I dispatched three armed men single-handedly, while you watched." Brienne came as near to boasting as she would allow in answer to what she perceived as Jaime's slight. "I have killed almost as many men as you, Lion of Lannister." Brienne raised her chin in challenge, daring him to doubt her. "I am a Knight of The Seven Kingdoms." She reminded him.
The reverence in Jaime's gaze told Brienne he would present no opposition to her accomplishments, yet she continued. Something within her wanted to make him sorry he had forsaken her. Something wanted to make him pay for the pain she had endured. Something was overjoyed that he was alive. "Neither of us were marching South with Queen Daenerys's troops." Brienne fought the sobs that welled within her throat as valiantly as she had ever faced any opponent. "We were safe here." Her accusing glare bore through Jaime as if she had pierced his heart with Oathkeeper. "We were safe." Brienne repeated in a hoarse whisper.
Jaime nodded his understanding. "I thought we were." He conceded. "I wanted to believe it. I tried." He assured her. "I told myself Cersei could never reach us in Winterfell, that surely someone else would do the bidding that was my burden and rid this world of her evil… of her." He declared, his own unflinching stare now searched Brienne's face for any sign of softening toward him, as yet he found none.
Brienne shook her head in confusion, trying to find meaning in his words. "She was your sister, your…" Brienne swallowed the distasteful words from her tongue before they could fully form. She could not say it. She forced the image of Jaime and Cersei, as lovers, from her brain.
"Cersei was my curse!" Jaime replied hatefully. "She took, everything from me." He seethed bitterly. "She took my will, my life, and my honor." Jaime said, ashamed of what he had allowed. "I did not realize that until you won my heart." His tone warmed as he beheld Brienne's deep blue eyes. His final act had been meant to assure her protection. He had succeeded. "I would not let her take you too." Jaime choked, pushing the vision of the heinous things Cersei would have done to Brienne far from his mind.
Brienne's brow furrowed as if she were still pleading with Jaime not to make the choice which tore him from her arms. "I can protect myself." She replied sternly, her jaw set with steely assurance. She grasped the fur that covered her even more tightly, imagining what her end might have been at Cersei's orders.
Jaime regarded her in awe. He knew better than anyone the magnificent figure she cut on the battlefield. He had fought at her side. He had witnessed firsthand her bravery, skill, and valor. He had dreamed about them, about her. However, Jaime realized Brienne would never have fathomed the depths to which Cersei's cold craven depravity could reach. "You can fight an armed opponent better than any knight who ever wielded a blade, myself included." He praised. "But, Cersei did not do her own killing." He winced at the thought. "You would not have seen it coming." Jaime said, somberly.
"Almost the whole of the Stark army, and what was left of the Targaryen troops were sailing toward The Capitol." Brienne reminded him. "Even with a shred of such a battle weary force, Daenarys had two dragons." She continued. "I have heard what the Dragonfire did to the city. Surely, your presence was not needed." Brienne argued.
Although she did not intend her description in reproach, Brienne's words mocked Jaime. In hindsight, he knew all had resolved itself as he had hoped. The collapse of the Red Keep may very well have trapped Cersei and crushed the life from her, even without him there to ensure it. However, at the time when faced with a threat to Brienne's life, it had not been a mission he would have entrusted to anyone else.
"It is possible my journey changed nothing." Jaime conceded. "Perhaps Daenarys's army might have executed Cersei, or the bricks would have taken her without my being there." He agreed, wishing there had truly been a way he could have stayed with his Maiden of Tarth, some possibility that his changed loyalties would not have drawn his sister's wrath down upon them. "It was not a chance I could take." He told Brienne sadly. "I would not bargain it with your life." Jaime vowed.
Brienne studied him, remembering all they had endured from the moment they met. Her resolve was beginning to crack. Slowly, stiffly, she sat and inched toward the edge of the mattress, closer to him. Carefully, Brienne arranged the heavy animal skin around her shoulders, its warm width still encircling her body. For a tiny amused moment as Jaime watched her, he wondered if at last the cold of the North to which he could never become accustomed had seeped into her bones as well. Save for the face that had owned his dreams, Brienne's graceful bare feet were all he could see of the creamy skin which so enticed him as they softly touched the floor. The smile Jaime wanted to plaster upon his face at simply being near her disappeared before it reached his lips. He understood that his task was far from over.
The stare that found Brienne's eyes was cold and emotionless. She had been far too hurt to trust the feelings burning for Jaime in her own heart. Of course she loved him still, Brienne knew she would go to her grave loving Jaime Lannister. However, after all that had passed between them, after he shattered the heart which beat only for him, after he had hurt her so profoundly, Brienne doubted she could ever trust him again. The questions in her mind only forced more clearly to her thoughts the ways they had always made each other stronger.
"Together we could have faced far worse." Brienne told Jaime sadly. She could no longer fight the single heavy tearnwhich seeped over her lashes. Jaime longed to kiss it from her cheek. She lowered her eyes and studied her fingers lying clasped in her lap.
Abandoning the uncertainty which hindered him, Jaime fell to his knees before her. He shook his head in answer to her assertion. "Cersei would never have stopped." He bemoaned. "That would have been our lives, running, hiding." He described, his stomach sickening at what Brienne would have sacrificed for him. "One day we would have let down our guard as I did, thinking we were safe, and her wrath would have been unmerciful." His eyes filled with tears at the picture he painted. "She would have slaughtered you. She would have tortured you, and she would have made me watch." He lowered his head in penance.
"I thought we were safe, I swear it." Jaime lamented. "I hoped Cersei would be far too occupied defending her rule to pay anymore heed to me, I depended on it." He confessed. "I wanted a life with you. I wanted you more than anything in this world." He swore to Brienne. Jaime began to reach for her hand, but then pulled his back in haste. It was a privilege he had yet to earn. "I wanted you so much, that I allowed myself to forgot about Cersei's spies and assassins." Jaime shook his head, disgusted with his own shortsightedness. "I led her straight to you." He shut his eyes tight against the thought that he had put Brienne in danger.
Against her own will, and better judgement, Brienne felt herself compelled by Jaime's account. Far too great was their history for her to dismiss his attempts altogether. She wanted to believe him, she wanted to comfort him. "Perhaps she did not know about us." Brienne offered timidly.
Jaime managed a halfhearted grin at the innocence Brienne still possessed. She would always be good, and righteous, and pure. He shook his head, wishing it would have been that simple. "Her spies were everywhere." He uttered. "I should have known." Jaime berated himself.
"Of course she knew." He continued. "Even at the Dragon Pit, she caught me staring in your direction." His eyes grew soft and wistful remembering his first vision of Brienne after believing he would never see her again, when at last they stood only paces from each other as Daenarys Targaryen made her entrance to King's Landing on dragon back. "It was all I could do not to run to you, fall at your feet, and declare myself then and there." Jaime said to Brienne, longing to take her in his arms as he had wished for then. "If I had, Cersei would have executed us both." He regretted. "I rode North that very day." He reminded Brienne. "I left her when the dead threatened, to come to your side." Jaime affirmed, his eyes as he stared at Brienne in the firelight were more loving than she had ever seen.
Brienne sat quiet, listening to Jaime's plea. She had quelled her urge to order him from her chamber, and had felt it replaced by a growing hope that what he spoke was the truth. A leery warning rang through her brain, demanding caution in the presence of the man who had broken her heart, entreating her practical nature to send him away. Yet, despite the pain she had suffered, something within her kept repeating that he would not be here, begging for her affections if it truly had been his sister he desired. Jaime took her silence as a hopeful indication that he should continue.
"I arrived at Winterfell just in time to fight by your side." He recalled proudly. "When first I saw you in the courtyard, so strong and glorious, I felt as though my heart would burst from happiness and love." Jaime smiled, once more in awe of her. "Even in this cold and Gods forsaken wasteland, it was like finally coming home." He gladly admitted. "On your honor you vouched for me to Daenerys Targaryen, and granted me the privilege of battling at your side." Jaime's eyes grew wistful at the memories he described. "Though the world around us had gone mad, I knew I would see the morn as long as I was with you." Jaime beheld her proudly. "And after, you bestowed upon me the greatest gift I have ever been given, your heart." His voice quivered with the raw emotion of the moons he had been seperated from her. Unable to bear the sorrowful tone in his voice, or the memories which flooded into her own thoughts, Brienne turned her face from him.
Undaunted, Jaime trudged onward, his quest too precious to halt. "The weeks I lived with you here in this very room were the dearest of my life." Jaime told Brienne. "I was finally the man I wished be. At last I had chosen my own destiny, with the woman of my desires. The woman I love." Jaime affirmed, aching to return to their bliss. "Like Jenny of the Oldstones, I never wanted to leave." He called to her mind the emotion in the song Podrick had serenaded them by before the great battle.
Jaime's resolve grew more fierce the longer Brienne allowed him to stay. Hesitantly, almost imperceptibly, he moved his hand in the darkness to where his fingers could rest upon the mattress and still brush lightly against hers lying trembling upon her lap. Brienne did not shy from his touch, though neither did she turn her gaze to meet his eyes.
"But you did." Brienne remarked softly, more hurt than anger now in her words. "You left and there was nothing I could say to make you stay." The firelight shimmered within the tear that fell down her cheek, making it seem like a falling star. "There was nothing Brienne the Beauty could do to keep The Lion Of Lannister." She mocked them both. Brienne knew Jaime was aware of the story behind that hurtful phrase which referenced her. She had realized it the night of the feast, when Jaime revealed his knowledge that she had danced with Renly. Pod had clearly told him. The thought had occured to her more than once over the long empty nights since his departure, that a lovelier version of herself might have enticed him to stay.
As Jaime stared mesmerized by Brienne, whom he considered a true beauty, he was transported back to that dark cold night in Winterfell's lonely courtyard when he bid Brienne farewell, without saying goodbye. The wind had howled his name as if it were a joke, much fiercer and more hateful than anytime a mouth had uttered 'Kingslayer' in his direction. Even the bright silver moon taunted him. Her tears, Oh Gods, Brienne's tears had been daggers in his heart, and so well deserved. How had he done it? How had he found the strength to mount his horse, to ride away from her, to leave her alone and crying? Every stride which stretched the distance between them was measured in the death of another piece of him. Her essence clung to his body, closer and more familiar than his own skin as Brienne's spirit rode in the saddle behind him, her imagined arms encircling him. It was the only peace he found. He had kept Brienne safe, even if she hated him forever. That assurance was all that stayed his course and prevented him from turning his steed around, racing back to Brienne, and falling at her feet to beg forgiveness. He would beg now.
With a deep sigh, Jaime began his tale of the desperation that drove him from Brienne's loving arms. "When I saw you at the Dragon Pit, I realized that I could exist no longer without you. It was you for whom my soul yearned." Jaime admitted. "All of my life I believed Cersei's lies that she and I were soulmates, destined to live and die together. It was all I knew. I tried to hold onto her manipulation as if it were something real." He explained, his eyes pleading with Brienne to understand. "It was not. That day, I knew my bond with my sister had long since dissolved. It was a crutch, a noose around my neck. I was never the man I wished to be with her." He lowered his face for a moment, ashamed.
Then, with a scorching intensity that made her shiver, Jaime looked up at Brienne and proclaimed the truest and purest intentions his heart had ever held. "It is you and only you whom my heart desires." He told her, his entire countenance a plea that she believe him. "It has always been you. Since before the bath we shared at Harrenhal, my heart belonged to you, Brienne of Tarth." Jaime confessed.
Though they had lost themselves in the intimacy of their passion many times since then, Brienne blushed at the memory of his naked body slipping beneath the steaming water to join her. Compassion stole her reticence as his regretful words again lamented the oaths which had taken everything from him, and the act that cost Jaime his honor and labeled him a Kingslayer. Brienne's body flushed with desire recalling the feel of him falling into her arms. "Even before I entrusted you with that shining sword you wield so bravely, the very symbol of my heart, I knew it will always be you." He smiled. "Somewhere along that road to Kings Landing upon which we traveled, I fell in love with you, Brienne." Jaime savored the words he should have said long ago. Brienne's shoulders fell loosely as she seemed to exhale the bitterness left with her. As if they heard each other's thoughts, Jaime relaxed for the mere length of a sigh, reveling in the fullness of loving her. "I am good, I am honorable. I am the man I was always meant to be. It is you, My Dearest, you make me a better man. So much more than I deserve." He praised.
Even as she brought her gaze to meet his, Brienne's lip trembled. She bit it to control the weeping rising in her throat. Always, there had been trust between them. Now, Jaime was the one to proclaim that there had also always been love. She had not imagined it, had not created it in her own mind. To her own shock, Brienne allowed herself to once more conjure the life with Jaime she dreamed for all too brief a time before he rode away and took that hope with him. Jaime felt it, too. He prayed the faith between them would lead Brienne back to him.
Jaime peered reverently up at Brienne. "I have never lied to you." He swore. "Every word I have ever spoken has been the truth." He assured her earnestly. Brienne could not deny that was so. "I implore you to understand that I did not leave because I had not surrendered all of my soul to you to hold in the palm of your perfect, graceful hand, or that I did not love you with all of my being." He begged, brushing the tips of her fingers with his. "I left you here in this place, safe at the edge of the world, because I did." He said, breathless with desire.
"You challenged me at the Dragon Pit to be true to myself." Jaime acknowledged. "When Cersei confessed that she had no intention of sending her troops North as she swore to Jon Snow, I decided to be true to you." He told Brienne. "I could not bear the thought of you facing that cursed horde without me." Jaime shuddered. "I rode through the city gates, leaving Kings Landing and Cersei behind. I knew I would never return, if you would have me." Jaime gulped as the tears he no longer wished to suppress came rushing forth with his confession. "My only fear, I would not reach the north soon enough to fight at your side, to keep you safe." He felt his blood chill to feel once again the aching pit in his stomach and the fear that he would fail to reach Brienne in time.
Hopefully, Jaime inched closer to Brienne. "Then you were so near, all I could do was stare." His demeanor echoed his sentiment as he knelt in awe of her. "So fearful was I that you were partial to that Wilding, Tormund Giantsbane, I thought I might go mad." He said, feeling again that jealous knot in the pit of his stomach.
Brienne allowed Jaime the slightest of smiles, recalling his undeclared rivalry with the fire-haired wild man for her affections. "And then you knighted me." She remarked wistfully.
"Something only I could do there, in that moment." Jaime puffed. His mind thrilled to the way Brienne looked that evening before the battle as she stood to be proclaimed 'A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms' by him. He had been struck speechless as she stood to the applause of the others in the room, her eyes shining with happy tears, her smile proud and lovely.
Brienne nodded gratefully. It was an act she would never take for granted. "You gave me my heart's desire." She accepted.
"And then you gave mine to me." Jaime added, his breath shallow from the racing of his heart. "You." He gazed adoringly at her in worship.
"Once the fighting was over, when life had triumphed, when our love was all for which I existed, finally I walked among the living." Jaime spoke as if The Gods themselves were guiding his words.
Brienne could no longer hold her own teardrops at bay from the visions Jaime painted of the time they had shared, the joyous love-filled weeks she thought would never end. Though with one fist she still clung tightly to the fur in which she was wrapped, almost unconsciously the hand which rested in her lap slid delicately into his. She held him tightly, as she wanted to the night she watched him ride through the gates. Brienne tried to believe that this time he would stay.
The color drained from Jaime's face. His expression suddenly clouded. He shook the terrible images from his brain as he remembered the terror which seized his heart as he laid for the last time beside Brienne as she slept. "I thought, better than anyone that I knew the depths to which Cersei would willingly sink, but I was too blinded by my love and hope that I could think of nothing else, only you." Jaime described his guilt to Brienne.
She looked down at him with a confused and quizzical gaze. "But, it was her you chose." Brienne answered, her voice flat, her expression numb.
Jaime again shook his head in vehement denial. "I chose your life." He corrected through a jaw stiff with frantic effort. Brienne sighed deeply and raised her eyes to focus on something above him. Jaime thought perhaps the images of that dark cold night when he had made that fateful choice taunted Brienne, as they did him, feeding on what little energy was left to her. She was tiring of this. Jaime, felt his chance slipping from him. Brienne deserved to know everything.
"My path was clear. I meant to spend the rest of my life at your side, my heart rejoicing." Jaime swallowed hard, bracing himself to explain the fears which drove him from Brienne. "It was all so clear until the night that Tyrion and I visited the tavern in Wintertown." Jaime described. Brienne nodded, remembering the very night he had agreed to accompany his brother for a pint of ale while she saw to the men she had designated to guard Winterfell in the dark late hours. She and Jaime had promised each other to meet in their chambers once he returned, both thrilling at the anticipation of the pleasures they would share. In the moons since, when she had exhausted herself reliving every moment they shared, Brienne concluded, it was that night Jaime's bearing had changed.
"What happened at that tavern?" Brienne questioned, trembling a bit with the dread of what he might reveal.
"Ser Bronn is what happened." Jaime seethed.
"Ser Bronn?" Brienne's brow furrowed in bewilderment.
Jaime nodded regretfully. "Bronn found us there." He recounted with a snarl. "Cersei sent him to kill us." Jaime told Brienne. Something in his tone found amazement that he had been shocked by the notion when first Bronn hurled it at him as if it might be a weapon. In the next breath he was ashamed he had not realized it. There was nothing Cersei would not do.
Brienne sat stoic and rigid at Jaime's confession. She hid well the disgust rising within her to envision the malice and domination Jaime had endured within his sister's grasp. She wanted to ache for him, but feared that if her own heart were given such freedom she might throw herself into his arms and declare her undying love for him. Instead, she suffered another crack in the wall that shielded her heart. It was the wall Jaime had built the night he left. Brienne silently congratulated herself as her voice slowly left her lips calm and steady, though she was shaken to her very core.
"I wasn't aware Ser Bronn of the Blackwater was loyal to your sister." Brienne said to Jaime over the brim of her nose.
"Ser Bronn is loyal to the highest bidder." Jaime scoffed. "She promised him Riverrun. Bronn would sell his soul for a castle and title." He jeered.
"Yet, he did not kill you." Brienne stated the obvious as if it were an indictment.
Jaime raised his chin proudly. "We offered him something more valuable. Highgarden." Jaime replied proudly, congratulating himself on Tyrion's cunning. "Cersei would never kept her bargain, even with us murdered." Jaime said knowingly. "His only payment would have the edge of a blade across his throat. By offering him the finest castle in The Reach, Tyrion and I made sure everyone got what they wanted." Jaime proclaimed proudly, before his countenance fell again with one look at the pain in Brienne's eyes. "Almost." He whispered.
Brienne's frown bore deeper into her forehead, and her scowl darkened. "Who is the bigger fool then, Bronn for believing he would see payment instead of a blade, or you for returning to her after she sent a hired killer to end your life?" Brienne questioned ruefully.
Sitting back on his heels, Jaime studied Brienne, his expression a mixture of regret at having caused her to question his love, and pride that his actions had protected her. "I did not depart from you for any desire or love for Cersei." He swore to Brienne. "Though I could not stay with you while she yet lived." Jaime said, too cryptically for Brienne's wary heart to trust.
Brienne shook her head, frustrated with the ruse her caution warned he was playing. Was Jaime only there to toy with her. "Which is it?" Brienne shot back angrily. "You wished for a life with me, though you abandoned all the hopes I thought we shared?" She could not force her voice to quiet, or her shaking to still. "Or do you kneel before me now only because Cersie is dead, and you think I am the next best option?" Brienne mocked. "You left me, after you came to Winterfell, after all that had passed between us." She recounted angrily. "After all I believed we meant to each other." Her plaintiff remembrance held a singular pain which quelled his hope that she might forgive him. "You broke my heart. I begged you not to go, to stay, to stay alive." She forced the shadow of that night between them. "Still, you left." Brienne leveled her charge at him, the raw memory burned into her brain. "I spent a lifetime building a fortress in which to encase my heart from the world's cruelty. You know what it took for me to let you in." She said in a small trembling voice. "Then you broke the fragile organ within my chest and threw the shattered pieces back in my face." Brienne indicted. Her expression wrenched all of Jaime's strength from him. "All these moons, there has been no word of you, save for reports of your death." She grieved, her voice trembling with the sorrow she had suffered.
Jaime's conviction returned, stronger than ever he had felt it, assuring him that he had truly done the right thing, the only sensible action there was at hand. Everything he did had been for her. Brienne lived, her life was under no threat. Even if she refused his plea, if she did not wish him back, He would never regret his sacrifices, though one of them may have been Brienne's affections. Jaime prayed to The Gods it would not be so.
Again, he leaned closer, longing to kiss away all of her doubt. "Hear me now, Brienne of Tarth." He began, determination blazing in the emerald depths of his gaze such that Brienne was rendered motionless. "It is you that I love." He vowed to her, "It has always been you. I may have been born with Cersei, but my heart chose you." Jaime spoke with the intensity and earnestness of a dying man begging for his life.
Sensing Brienne's defenses, Jaime continued, unwilling to stop for fear her wariness might push him away. "Worry for Cersei did not guide my steps back to Kings Landing." Jaime explained, centering himself with the gulps of breath he forced into his frantic lungs. "I was more than willing to let the bloody dragons have her." An unconcerned indifference washed over Jaime's face with the mention of the imminent death his sister had faced. "It was something else Bronn said during our conversation in the tavern which I could not drive from my mind. It chilled me to the bone, and stilled my pulse at his meaning." Brienne found herself unable to look away, eagerly she hung on Jaime's next words. "He mentioned keeping Cersei at her word by hedging his bets." He finished cryptically.
"With what?" Brienne asked, her breath a lump in her throat.
"With your life." Jaime answered, his voice filled with terror. "Bronn spoke of killing the Dragon Queen's top generals one by one." He choked, peering at Brienne with the same fear which had gripped him when Bronn's cold telling glare gave Jaime no question of whom it was that dwelled within the unspoken spaces of the threat. "You were one of those generals, My Love." Jaime squeezed Brienne's hand, she did not to draw her fingers from his grip. "It was clear that he meant he would kill you. He knew I loved you. Cersei knew I loved you." Jaime gazed into the deep sapphire pools of Brienne's eyes, wanting only to drown there. "Your head might have brought him untold privilege from her, yet he knew she could not be trusted." He assured Brienne. "Bronn knew I would be a man of my word, so he extorted from me his desires with the one thing in the world I held most dear, you." Jaime said to Brienne, beholding her with the alarm that only love can raise.
"You told me none of this." She replied, hurt by his omission.
Jaime lowered his head in shame. "I saw no need in inciting you to action when I was the only one who could stay Bronn's hand, and stop Cersei." He answered.
"His motives may be questionable, yet Ser Bronn reads people and their intentions better than anyone I ever knew." Jaime conceded. "Long before he found me with Tyrion in Wintertown, Bronn understood that it was you who possessed my mind, my heart, and my soul." Jaime professed, rising to his feet and sinking atop the mattress beside Brienne before she could protest.
"Bronn knew exactly how to get what he wanted from me. He knew how to keep himself the winner in that bargain." Jaime admitted. "And I knew then that Cersei would send her agents after you. I knew she would kill you, and I would never let that happen." He lifted his fingers to caress the soft curve of Brienne's jaw. She did not turn from him.
Frozen by shock and revelation, Brienne watched Jaime, searching for any sign of insincerity. There was none. He was honest and pure and honorable, the same as he had always been with her. He was not the coward who left her crying in the courtyard. He was again the brave hero who jumped into a bear pit to save her. Once more, Brienne saw the warrior, scruffy and worn after riding North who only wished to serve the forces of the living, and her. He was again the impassioned lover who knocked at her chamber door determined to win her, and at last joined with her in a sweet declaration of their commitment and love. Jaime died to protect her. Now he had returned. By some miracle of The Gods themselves, her Jaime sat before Brienne and begged for her love. His only hope, simply the chance to prove himself.
"For a while I lived a beautiful dream. I thought I could protect you, be on my guard at all times." Jaime told her, guilt heavy in his tone, shame in his touch. "Then came the day Queen Sansa relayed the news that Cersei's fleet had ambushed Daenarys's ships and killed one of her dragons." Jaime recalled. "It became a real possibility that Cersei might win." He lamented. "I could not let that happen. I could not let her be a threat to you." Fire blazed in Jaime's eyes. Brienne suddenly understood that he would have fought the Night King himself for her.
Jaime moved softly, timidly. He leaned and rested his forehead against Brienne's. "That is why I left. Why I tried to slip away unseen in the night, why I could not utter a proper goodbye." He shook his head, squeezing his eyelids tightly shut, trying to chase away the specter of what he had feared most. "I knew that if I tasted your tears on my lips I would be helpless to carry on, and you would die." Jaime stared at Brienne as forlornly as if his urgent endeavor had failed. "I could not let even you stop me." He declared sadly.
Brienne held her breath, fearful that it was all a dream and that at any moment this beautiful ghost whom she loved so dearly would fade into mist and fall through her grasp. It was as if the moons that had passed slipped away, and she found him once more in the courtyard saddling his horse, readying to leave. Again, she held his precious face and begged him not to go. This time, he stayed.
Brienne's body tingled with desire for him. Her heart soared at his confession of love for her. She melted against him, her face pressed softly to his cheek. "Jaime." Brienne whispered, unable to find the power to speak.
Enraptured by her nearness, Jaime needed Brienne to know all that had occured. "The Targaryen troops captured me outside the city." He continued. "I lied to my brother so that he would free me. I had to carry out my task no matter what the cost." Jaime pulled reluctantly from her embrace to regard the face, which many had thought plain at best, but he considered the loveliest above all.
"The cost was your life." Brienne said tearfully.
Jaime smiled, relieved. "A small price to pay to keep you from harm, My Love." He assured her, brushing a stray piece of sunny yellow hair from her eyes.
Returning to his recounting, Jaime's manner became somber. "I hoped to return to you sooner. I hoped that I might fall at your feet and grovel for forgiveness." Jaime admitted, bashfully. "Euron Greyjoy's blade dashed that hope upon the rocks at the base of the city wall as I did his broken body." He leaned back and lifted the hems of his gambeson and tunic, revealing a long thick red mound of flesh where the wound inflicted by the Greyjoy had healed.
Brienne gasped as she beheld the jagged scar. "Why did you not leave the city then, find a healer?" She implored him, choking on the sobs in her throat as she followed the scar with her soothing fingers. Jaime reveled in her touch.
"When the dagger ripped into my side I knew I would not leave the city alive. I thought I would never see you again. I had to ensure Cersei's death." Jaime told her. "I was the only man alive who could get close enough to stop her." He stated with certainty. "So I forced my steps onward to meet the foe whom it was my duty to vanquish for you, each stride a testament to my love for you." He confessed. "It was the last greatest act in my power, to see you safe." Jaime breathed a grateful sigh, that he had been successful.
A dark veil fell across Brienne's face, hiding the light of her eyes. Jaime had never seen her grow so sad. For a moment, she looked down at her lap and drew a mournful breath. "What of your child?" She asked solemnly.
A resentful growl rose in Jaime's chest. He spoke with contempt and hatred. "I found Cersei wandering through The Red Keep, distraught. She had lost her mind. Everything she had ever done had brought her deserved fate to her doorstep." He described. "It was clear from her belly, still as flat as the day I rode from Kings Landing, there had never been a child. The Maesters confirmed as much when they examined her body." Jaime seemed relieved. "Another lie to manipulate me, and Euron Greyjoy." He glowered, the bile tainting his throat to think of the whore his sister was.
Brienne sat silent, reliving the night he had tried so desperately to make her believe his heart had grown cold. "You gave no reasons such as these when I found you in the yard, saddling your horse." She said numbly.
"I could not. I dared not." Jaime replied, rejoicing that the torture of the distance he forced between them then, had serve its purpose. Brienne had not journeyed in his wake to the inferno of Kings Landing. He could not have protected her there, and stayed true to his course. "I could not betray my plan to you." He confirmed. "Though your oath to Queen Sansa should have kept you here by her side, what would you have done if I had revealed my plan that night?" He questioned, already aware of her answer.
Brienne nearly smiled for a moment at how well he truly knew her. "I would have followed you." She answered. "I would have tried to stop you." Brienne proclaimed tearfully.
"Then you would have died." Jaime's blood ran cold to even voice the words. He could barely look at her for the aching that gripped his heart.
Softly, it was she now who cradled his face in her palm, as she had done under the cold silver moon that witnessed their parting. Brienne nodded. "We would have been together." She reminded him.
Jaime breathed a long slow sigh for the warmth he found in Brienne's touch. His fingers trailed up her forearm, and clasped her wrist as she touched his jaw. His thumb traced tiny circles over her skin, as he had done the night he left her. His gaze swore an oath to her and her alone. "To die in your arms would have been the end for which I had always hoped." His face was so close to hers, he might have kissed her if he had that right. "As it were, I did." Jaime acknowledged. "My heart, my soul, all of me I left with you." He declared. "It was a deadman who entered The Red Keep that day." He said weakly. "A corpse who had forced the woman he truly loved to despise him." Jaime offered, his remorse falling in heavy drops from his eyes.
Brienne could almost taste the kiss she wanted him to steal. She longed to take away his despair. "I could never hate you." She vowed with loving pride. "For your entire life you were at Cersei's whim." Brienne lamented. "Your choice was made to free yourself from her control." She watched him admiringly. "You freed the Realm from her treachery." Brienne offered.
"My choice was to protect you, My Love." Jaime told Brienne, taking her hand and kissing her palm. Brienne smiled, accepting his gift.
Proudly, Jaime wove the end of his triumphant tale. "I told Cersei whatever lie she needed to believe and dragged her to where I knew the ceilings would be weakest. Where I knew The Keep would collapse upon us both." He felt Brienne shudder beside him. "I did not even try to reach the boat Tyrion swore he would leave moured for us. "I had no wish for a life with her." Jaime declared in digust. "I had no wish for a life without you." He told Brienne earnestly. "My heart, and my soul I had left at here at your feet." Jaime lifted Brienne's palm to his lips. "I held Cersei under the rubble so she could not flee. My face, I buried in her shoulder, and my thoughts went to you, the woman in whose arms I wished to die." Jaime looked at Brienne as though she were a queen. "With my final breath, I whispered your name into her ear." Unable to deny himself any longer, Jaime placed a tender kiss on Brienne's lips. She returned his passion with an equal joy.
Brienne felt the icy chill which had paralyzed her heart fading like mist in the morning sun. For so long it seemed that she had died with Jaime. Since he had gone, Brienne had opened her heart to so little. Each night she drifted to sleep imaging his arms enfolding her. Her dreams were a troubling blur of the happy days they had known, the pain of their parting, and visions her mind conjured of his final moments pummeled by the falling stones. Brienne had grown certain a part of her would always be trapped in that darkness with him.
Like a man able to breath again after being trapped in a wild churning sea, Jaime drew in a deep and thankful breath. "Tyrion found me in the rubble more dead than alive." He described. "By some miracle of The Gods I recovered, to find you, to fall before you and beg you to believe me, to beg you to take me back." Jaime pleaded.
Spying Oathkeeper hanging from Brienne's bedpost, Jaime bolted to his feet. He grabbed the scabbarded weapon and handed it forcefully to Brienne as he reverently lowered himself upon his knee before her. She held her magnificent sword as if she did not recognize it, watching him, confounded by his actions. "Please, My Dearest, if there is no forgiveness you can grant this unworthy wretch, if you cannot accept me back into your heart, then I beg you take my left hand." He laid his arm ready on the bed beside her. "My sword hand is gone yet I shall never be whole without you. I shall never be complete until you are mine again." Jaime stared at Brienne boldly. "My heart is yours. It will always be yours. I lay it at your feet, and hope only that someday you will love me again." He offered. "Please My Love, say that you believe me. Say there is a chance." He beseeched.
Brienne heard his plea as if in a dream. Jaime kneeled at her feet, alive, restored, and begging her to love him. The Gods had at last brought the miracle for which she had prayed in those first terrible days after his leaving. Each word he uttered held the truth Brienne knew Jaime would never hide from her. She believed him. Her heart ached for all he had suffered. She loved him. Gods, how she loved him. Slowly, nervously, she began to breath again. As much as he begged for her acceptance, was how desperately she wanted him back.
Laying Oathkeeper on the bed beside her, she took the hand he offered for sacrifice in hers, and formed her answer. "You have never lied to me." She allowed over her trembling lip. "You know full well the high regard in which I hold honor." Brienne affirmed. "You are an honorable man, Jaime Lannister, and I believe you." She smiled through her loving tears. "You ask if I could love you again." She repeated, swallowing a sob. "Again?" Brienne shook her head. Jaime held his breath fearful her wavering meant he had ventured too far in his hopes, until at last Brienne graced with him the words he longed to hear. "I never stopped." She smiled, bright, and clear, and lovely. She took Jaime's breath away.
Jaime could not hold his hopes in check. Even the tiny distance that remained between them was far too much. Still on his knee, Brienne's fingers entwined within his own, Jaime threw all caution to the fates and uttered the words he should have offered to her moons before. "Marry Me, Brienne." He prayed. "You are my soulmate, Brienne." Jaime told her, reverently. "You are the other half of me. You have always been so, and always shall be." He stared into her blue eyes as if he could see her own spirit shining within her. Brienne lowered her head, savoring his confession, understanding exactly what he meant. It had not been Cersei after all, whom he had been meant for since the moment he was born. It was she, The Maid of Tarth, who had been deemed by the Gods to be the lion's mate. As if they read each others' thoughts, their gazes met with a force that seemed to echo between them. "Please be my wife?" Jaime continued his plea. "Make me the happiest man that has ever lived… or died?" A shy hopeful smile rested upon his face as he awaited her reply.
Brienne's breath caught in her throat. Her expression at once a mix of love and surprise, she reached and layed her freehand over the tight knot made by their grasping finger. She stared at Jaime in a solemn repose. He thought her an angel. "Yes. I will marry you." She vowed happily.
As if freed from the bondage he had created for himself, a joyful and renewed sigh sprang from Jaime's lungs. He beamed as if the sunlight were shining upon him within Brienne's darkened chamber. He rose and again sat gingerly beside Brienne. He brought his fingers to nestle the curve of her cheek. "I swear to you, there shall never be a moment of regret to shadow our union." He promised. "Our marriage will be happy, and honorable, and I shall love you until the the sun and moon fall from the sky." Jaime vowed. Brienne smiled at his reference to her house, understanding his meaning and his pledge of forever. "I love you, Brienne of Tarth, with all of my heart and all of my soul." He smiled.
Brienne began to weep. "I watched you ride through the gates of this very castle." She shuddered. "I mourned us." Brienne swallowed distastfully against the bitter memory. "Word of your death was received from the South, and I grieved." She replied with a sadness in her eyes which Jaime was certain would haunt him all of his days. "Yet, I did not feel you gone from me." Brienne confessed. "Somehow I must have known we had not seen our end." She smiled with the joy of anticipating the life that lay ahead of them. With an ethereal sigh, Brienne laid her head against Jaime's. "I love you." She swore to him before their lips met in a pure and passionate testament to the bond they already shared.
When they parted from the sweet celebration of their love, and their oath to each other, Jaime reached for Brienne. "There shall be no end for us, My Love." he swore placing a soft kiss in her hair.
Lost somewhere between Brienne's astonishing eyes and her luscious lips, captivated by the idea of the treasures that were his and his alone beneath the thick fur which still hid her body from him, Jaime moved closer. Thirsty for Brienne's kisses, and hungry for the taste of her on his lips, he wrapped her shoulders in his embrace and pulled Brienne to him. Though she smiled wantonly, Brienne braced her hand firmly against his chest. His progress halted, he looked sheepishly at her, and reddened. So happy to be with Brienne at last, he had almost forgotten the sight of her falling limp and helpless to the ground upon his arrival only hours before.
"Forgive me My Darling." Jaime begged. "The Maester said you were ordered to rest, but would impart no more to me about your condition." He grew nervous and worried, agitated by fear for Brienne and mortified that he could be so cavalier with her health. "Please, tell me what is wrong." He pleaded. "Are you ill?" He asked with trepidation.
A sweet and thoughtful expression washed over Brienne's features as she answered. "I am not ill." She affirmed, a hopeful but anxious smile playing upon her lips.
Jaime's concern did not abate. "Then what is it? What caused you to collapse?" He implored her for the truth.
He noticed how her cheeks blushed. Her gaze held him captive with its intensity. "You nearly gave your life to ensure my safety." Brienne said as a bright grin began to shine over her face. She inhaled deeply, as though the air had never been so sweet. "I was not the only one you protected that day." Brienne's gaze fell to the fir which covered her warmly. Jaime's eyes followed where she led. Slowly, she lowered the cover to her lap, revealing the form of her rounded belly beneath the bedgown wore.
Jaime's eyes widened with wonder. His broad beaming smile lit the entire room. The breath in his lungs stilled in time to the beats his heart skipped. His voice could not find words for the awe which coursed through him.
Brienne ran tracing hands over her burgeoning abdomen. "I discovered that I carried your child two moons after you left." She recounted. "A moon after a rider brought us word of your death." She choked, biting her lip against the barrage of tears that had been her only comfort in those early days of living without him.
"Oh, Brienne." Jaime whispered in astonishment. Timidly he reached to touch the life they had created but stopped a hair's breath from the shift she wore, suddenly unsure if he should, or if he even yet had that right. Jaime watched as Brienne lovingly cradled her expanding middle, already regarding the babe she carried with love and care. Jaime brought his fingers to lightly touch Brienne's porcelain cheek, the only comfort he could give. "I cannot imagine the pain and fear you must have felt with that revelation." He said, compassionately, stricken by her suffering.
Brienne reflected upon the moments she was first certain that Jaime's babe grew within her. "Fearful, perhaps." She shrugged. "I did not imagine I would ever be a mother. I have no experience with even my own." She admitted. "But I suppose all women feel a bit overwhelmed at first realizing they are with child." She offered. "And I am certainly not the first to find herself in such a circumstance." Brienne nodded as if to encourage herself.
"Circumstance?" Jaime questioned, uncertain of her meaning.
Lowering her eyes, she answered almost in whisper. "Suddenly, I awaited the birth of a child though I was yet…unwed." Brienne explained earnestly.
Though Brienne's honesty held no stigma of blame, Jaime's own heart condemned him. He had left the woman he loved to face such a discovery alone. None could have blamed her for seeking another option. He beheld her with veneration. His thoughts clouded with the cruelty that others might cast in the direction of one in such a state. Suddenly, he was a lion again, ready to do battle with any who would disparage Brienne, his lioness. "I swear to you, any who defamed you will pay dearly." He swore.
As Brienne watched him, Jaime was once more the gold champion who propelled himself into a bear pit to save her. That tiny hidden part of her which still longed for the dreams of the girl she once was caused her heart to flutter like a bird at his oath of protection. He was the knight whom she once wished would pledge his life to her, and ask only for her heart.
"I will not deny, there were some who aimed their judging glances in my direction, and their whispers behind my back." Brienne acknowledged painfully. "But they matter not." She declared, her voice trembling with love as she brushed her fingertips along Jaime's jaw.
Rage burned within Jaime at those who dared to belittle Brienne. How strong she had been to suffer their scrutiny. She was right, they did not matter now. However, he vowed he would find them and reap his punishment from their hides. He marveled at Brienne's bravery, knowing he deserved no loyalty she might have shown to him. She had every right to denounce him, and purge herself of all memory of their love, including the child he had given her. "You did not take the moon tea?" He asked rhetorically, thankful for her choice. "It would have prevented any aspersions against your virtue." He said, ashamed of only himself.
Brienne studied Jaime affectionately. She saw the care and worry shadowing his gaze. She realized the anger at those who demeaned her churning within him. She understood the only contempt which he felt was turned inward, against his own heart. She knew the strength of their love. "I could not take the tea." She affirmed, her fingers still caressing the skin beneath his beard. "I could not remove your growing seed from my womb." She proclaimed, as if any thought otherwise had never occurred to her. "It was all I had left of you in this world." Brienne told him, weeping freely.
Jaime's own tears fell upon Brienne's fingertips. Brienne carried his babe, a new life to be the living embodiment of their love. He thought of the lie Cersei had told him about yet another offspring he could not claim, and his heart soared at the notion that it was his beloved Brienne who would bear his babe into the world. This was the child he wanted. One born of pure true love, who would wear his name, and who he could declare to the world was his. A babe gifted to him from the woman his heart adored. He would never consider himself worthy of Brienne or the children she would give him, but he would spend his lifetime endeavoring to be.
"My Love." Jaime sighed. "I swear to you, the rest of my days shall be spent making everything up to you." He sobbed.
"There is no need." Brienne assured him, shaking her head at the idea. "You are here, now." She smiled. "That is all that matters." Brienne forgave him.
"Yes, Dearest." Jaime beamed as he thought of whence he had first heard the words forming in his head, and how right they were to be spoken now. "Just us. We are all that matters." He professed, inwardly rejoicing that although Cersei had first uttered those words, it was not her with whom he would spend eternity. Slowly, softly, Jaime rose upon his knees to meet the sweet banquet of Brienne's kiss. He lost himself in the hope and happiness she offered. For a moment, he gave himself up, without a care, to her embrace.
Then, as if hit with a bolt of recognition, Jaime tore himself from Brienne. Again, he saw her turning from him in bewilderment, and collapsing to the cold ground in Winterfell's courtyard. This was why she had fallen. Brienne's condition had weakened her, made her fragile. He had heard what such an encounter could do to a pregnant woman, and her babe. Jaime could only imagine how Brienne's body must have reacted to the shock of his return from the dead, or how frightened she must have been over the past hours for their child. He hated himself for causing her distress.
"My Love." He spoke frantically, desperate to ease whatever affliction might remain. "Forgive me." He begged. "If I had known, I would have never caused you such agitation." His nervous gaze traveled over her body, eager to check that all was well. "Are you alright? Has the Maester examined you thoroughly?" He stuttered, unable to fully grasp one thought from the innumerable fears that raced through his mind.
Brienne's smile was sweet and she chuckled a little, amused at Jaime's almost immediate transformation to nervous father. She quieted him with a soft caress of his jaw. "The Maester has assured me that all is well." She grinned, a hint of relief on her face. "I am…" She began, but then paused and took his hand. Gently she opened his fingers and laid his palm against her abdomen, above the spot where their babe had just assured her of its health by nudging her belly from within. "We are fine." She finished, watching him with a loving gaze. Beneath his hand, through Brienne's skin, within her womb, Jaime felt the flutter of the life he had put there as if their babe were telling its father there was no need to worry. He felt the world melt away from them. He, and Brienne, and their child growing strong within her were the only people in the world who mattered. He felt Brienne's graceful fingers trail through his hair.
Still grinning deliriously, dizzy with joy, Jaime raised his eyes to Brienne. To his surprise, he found her eyes were somehow questioning. "You are…pleased, aren't you?" She asked hesitantly. That was when Jaime realized the depth of the pain he had left her. Though he had declared his eternal love for Brienne, begged for her hand in marriage, and vowed to spend his life carrying out his oath of protection to her and their child, still some small part of her whispered a devastating doubt.
Determined that she should never again be troubled for her faith in him, Jaime bent and lightly kissed the little mound of Brienne's belly. Softly, he caressed the precious treasure within. Though neither had known that Brienne held their babe within when he left her, the fates had seen fit to spare him. His resolve to protect her had given him the strength and courage to triumph even over death. The Gods had brought him back to her, to them. "This is why I did all of it." He answered. "For you, for our children." He gazed into her eyes and saw the future.
Jaime took hold of Brienne's hand, and placed it over his heart. "Never has there ever been a man that lived who knew greater happiness than that which shines through me now." He swore to her. "Your love and forgiveness has breathed life into me once more, cleansed me, given me a greater purpose than I have ever known." Jaime vowed to Brienne. "You and our child are all I need. All I have ever wanted." He promised her. The strength of his conviction took her breath, stilled her racing heart, and silenced any whisper of doubt in her mind. Brienne settled against Jaime, lost in the security and acceptance of his arms. He sealed his vow with a kiss, and as their lips lingered, he felt the urge of need for her pulsing within him.
"The Maester has bid you rest, has he not?" Jaime asked Brienne, a hint of disappointment in his tone. It was taking all of his self control to hold his desire for her in check.
Brienne nodded, as averse to the notion of delaying their passionate reunion as he was. "For another day or so." She lamented.
"Well then." Jaime agreed rising to his feet "I shall see to it that you will get that rest." He smiled, taking her in is arms and leaning her gently back against the pillows of her bed. "You are under my care now, Brienne of Tarth." He raised his eyebrow in mock judgement as he lifted her legs and bundled them securely beneath the quilts. Then Jaime turned his attentions to gathering the warm fur around her middle, and their babe. With an intrigued giggle, Brienne relaxed deeper into the nest he was creating around her.
Finally, Jaime brought his face to Brienne's. "We will simply need to postpone the celebration of our betrothal." He decreed, fluffing her pillows to make her comfortable.
Urgently, Brienne caught his hand as he straightened. "Very well." She conceded. "But only a few days." Brienne demanded, playfully. Jaime bowed to her, bringing Brienne's knuckles to his lips and kissing them tenderly. Enjoying their jest, he raised his brow and flashed his eyes lustfuly at her.
Without a word, Jaime rushed to his side of the bed, and sat gingerly upon the mattress. He quickly pulled off his boots and pivoted on his hip, coming to rest atop the furs beside Brienne. Jaime reclined his head on his palm at Brienne's head. He beheld her with a charming handsome smile. With his handless arm, he reached beneath the fur and cradled her life-filled belly. "Yes, of course, My Dearest." He determined. "I do not believe I could stand to wait any longer." He accentuated his brave endeavor with a playful nip of her neck. Brienne laughed softly. Her heart had never felt so light, so merry, so free.
Enraptured, Jaime watched as Brienne's eyelids grew heavy. She stifled a yawn, and nestled closer to him. "I love you." She sighed.
Jaime bent and kissed Brienne's soft lips. "I love you." He answered, his world at last complete. "Sleep now, My Dearest." He told her. "I shall never leave you again." He vowed.