JENNIE
March 20
After U.S. Geography, Krystal tells Roamer to go on ahead and she'll catch up. I haven't spoken a word to him since Manoban got expelled. "I need to tell you something," she says to me.
"What?" I haven't said much to her either.
"You can't tell anyone."
"Krystal, I'm going to be late for class."
"Promise first."
"Fine, I promise."
She's talking so low I almost can't hear her. "I saw Manoban at this group I go to. I've been going a while, even though I don't really need to, but my mom is, like, making me." She sighs.
"What's the group?"
"It's called Life Is Life. It's this—it's a support group for teenagers who've either thought about suicide or tried it."
"And you saw Manoban there? When?"
"Sunday. She said she was there because she swallowed a bunch of pills and had to go to the hospital. I thought you should know."
I stay through last period, only because I have a test. Afterward, I grab Leroy and ride directly to Manoban's house. She doesn't know I'm coming, and when I get there, no one answers the door. I find some pebbles in the driveway and throw them at her window, and with every ping ping against the glass, my heart jumps. Then I sit down on the front step, hoping her mom or her sisters will appear and let me in. I'm still sitting there twenty minutes later, the house as closed up and silent as when I arrived, and finally I head home.
In my room, I don't even bother taking off my coat and scarf. I open my laptop and send Manoban a Facebook message. She answers right away, like she's been waiting. So tomorrow's my birthday.…
I want to ask where she was and was she there the whole time and did she know that I was outside her house. I want to ask about the hospital, but I'm worried if I ask anything she'll go quiet and disappear, so instead I write: How should we celebrate?
Manoban: It's a surprise.
Me: But it's your birthday, not mine.
Manoban: Doesn't matter. Come over at six. Be hungry.