Jenkins was sitting at his desk and catching up on some Library paperwork when the old candlestick phone behind him rang. Frowning, Jenkins turned around on his high stool and, plucked the receiver from its cradle held it to his ear.
"Yes?" he sighed, making it clear to whoever the caller was that he was not happy with the interruption. He immediately jerked the receiver away from his head, wincing as the shrill voice of Cassandra Cillian shot through the line.
"Jenkins! You've got to get over here right now!" There was noise in the background, but nothing he could distinguish. He cautiously replaced the receiver to his ear and spoke into the mouthpiece of the phone.
"Cassandra, I'm sorry, but I'm rather busy at the moment," he protested irritably, "I don't have the time to go gallivanting off to Sudan at the drop of a hat—"
"That wasn't a request, Jenkins!" Eve shouted angrily from a distance. Something in her voice set off alarm bells in the old immortal's head.
"Jenkins, please!" Cassandra added, her tone pleading.
"All right, Cassandra," he answered, "I'm on my way." He hung up the phone and hurried from behind his desk. He checked the settings on the Back Door mechanism to confirm his destination: Northern Sudan, just south of its border with Egypt. He hit the switch to activate the magic door and stepped through as soon as he was able.
On the other side of the world he stepped into dry, dusty, cramped space lit only by the small lamps attached to the mining helmets worn by the Guardian and the three Librarians. On the peeling whitewashed walls he could just make out the dark painted outlines of ancient Egyptian-style gods and humans interacting in various scenes. A huge stone sarcophagus coated with a thick layer of dust sat along one entire side of the room, while two small doorways hinted at the possibility of other undisturbed rooms within this tomb complex. But it was the scene in the middle of the tiny room that quickly took up all of his attention
Eve Baird and a strange man wearing a leather jacket and a battered fedora were facing each other. Each person had one hand tightly gripping the Scepter of Wawat, the artifact that the Clippings Book had sent the Librarians to retrieve. The other hand of each was holding a gun pointed squarely at the other's face, the barrels of the Guardian's semi-automatic and the man's old-fashioned long barreled revolver mere inches away. Baird and the roguishly handsome man stared coldly at each other.
"Jenkins!" Cassandra cried, relieved to see her husband. The stranger's hazel eyes flicked in Jenkins's direction; they went from steely determination to surprise.
"You wanna talk to God?" he demanded, a crazy gleam in his eyes, "Let's go see him together! I've got nothing better to do!" The immortal's shoulders slumped in frustration.
"Oh, my good God, not again!" Jenkins complained. Jacob Stone and Ezekiel Jones ran over to the immortal.
"Jenkins! Jenkins! Is that who I think it is?!" Jake demanded, his eyes shining with excitement. The old man ignored him.
"Friend of yours, Jenkins?" Eve cut in coolly, her aim unwavering.
"Hardly, Colonel!" he huffed, and stepped forward. He gave the man one of his most withering glares. "You do not belong here!"
"I'm like a bad penny, I always turn up!" the man shot back with a rakish smirk, and tightened his grip on the artifact. An irritated look fell over Baird's face.
"Why does he keep talking like that?" she asked, "It's really irritating!"
"That's why they call it the jungle, sweetheart!"
"Okay, that's it!" Eve yelled, "I've had just about enough of you, pal!" Before Eve could pull the trigger, Jenkins quickly stepped up to the deadlocked pair, holding his hands up. He then turned to look at the man.
"Why are you here, Doctor Jones?" he sighed wearily. Behind him, Jake pumped a fist in the air, overjoyed, then turned to punch Ezekiel's arm.
"Yes! I knew it!"
"OW! Dammit, Stone!"
A renewed look of stubborn determination filled the stranger's face as he turned his attention back to Baird. "There's gonna be two dead people in here!" he snarled and narrowed his eyes in disgust at the Guardian. Suddenly, his head swung sharply to stare at Jenkins again.
"No, there's not, Doctor Jones," Jenkins answered heavily. But the one he called Doctor Jones shook his head violently.
"X never, ever marks the spot!" he persisted stubbornly. He turned his head to look straight at Jenkins.
"Oh, sweet Jesus…" Jenkins sighed and rolled his eyes.
"Omigod, this is so awesome! You're Indiana Jones!" Stone all but shouted, unable to contain himself. Everyone in the cramped chamber turned to stare at him. The Librarian's expression turned peeved. "What?!"
Eve seized her chance. While everyone was distracted, she jerked the solid gold scepter out of the man's hand. In a single, smooth motion she swung the artifact behind her without taking her eyes off of the man called Jones and tossed it to the Librarians clustered behind her. Ezekiel stepped forward and plucked it neatly out of the air, a triumphant grin splitting his face.
"Got it!" he yelled.
"Hey!" the stranger yelled at the same time. "That belongs in a museum!"
Eve lowered her weapon, at the same time balling her left hand into a fist. Before the man had a chance to react, she swung with all her strength, catching him on the jaw with a vicious hook. The man's head snapped to the side and he fell backward, cracking his head hard against the stone wall before sliding to the dusty floor of the tomb in a dazed heap. Eve stooped and quickly snatched up the revolver.
"Jones!" she called.
"Whut?" the man groaned.
"Not you!" the Guardian snapped, annoyed, and twisted around to look for the Librarian. "Jones! Get over here and tie this guy up, quick!" The thief handed the scepter off to Cassandra and then darted forward to roll the man onto his stomach. Taking some of the rope he'd brought with them on this mission, Ezekiel quickly cut a length and began tying the groggy man's hands behind his back, when something hanging off of the man's belt caught his eye.
"Is that...a bullwhip?" he exclaimed.
"Jones!" Eve barked, and he went back to tying up their captive. Baird went over to where Jenkins was standing and scowling down at the prone man. "Jenkins, what is going on here? One minute we've retrieved the scepter and on our way home; next thing we know, this Harrison Ford wannabe is busting in, guns blazing, screaming at us about how Hitler won't be winning so easily now without his 'prize'?"
"He also wanted to know what we'd done with Marion," Cassandra added, eyeing the man warily as she trotted over to her husband's side. "Whoever that is…"
"Seriously? You don't recognize this guy?" Jake asked in disbelief. He looked around at the others; Jones, Cassandra looked confused. Baird was looking askance at the historian, while Jenkins had an exasperated expression on his face. "That ain't no Harrison Ford wannabe, man! That's Indiana Jones!" Jones and Cassandra only shrugged, clueless.
"Indiana Jones!" Jake repeated, "Like, in the movies?! Raiders of the Lost Ark? Temple of Doom? Last Crusade...?"
"Never saw them," they said in unison with a shrug. Baird cocked a disbelieving eyebrow.
"I have," she said, "But I still don't understand what—"
"Don't you get it? Seriously?" Stone went on, waving his hands in frustration at his colleagues' obtuseness. "He's a fictional!" Eve spun around to look at Jenkins.
"Mr. Stone is correct, Colonel," he confirmed sourly, waving a hand at the now securely-bound man. "Apparently there is yet another installment in the 'Indiana Jones' saga on the Hollywood horizon. Every time another movie comes out, Doctor Jones makes another appearance somewhere in the world, wreaking his own special brand of havoc!" Eve looked back at Jake.
"Fifth movie's comin' out next month!" Stone said enthusiastically. "Everybody loves Indiana Jones movies! And this one is one of the most highly-anticipated movies in years, ever—Indiana Jones and Dial of Destiny!"
"Oh! So…all of the psychic energy generated by the anticipation of the public that the movie's publicity is probably generating, combined with the ley-line energy that naturally pools beneath Los Angeles where all of the major studios are located must be making it possible for the character of Indiana Jones to manifest physically!" Cassandra posited, wonder on her face at encountering another fictional in her career as a Librarian.
"And that's why he's talkin' like that," Stone added, "He can only speak using his lines from the movies!"
"Yes, well, "Jenkins muttered, displeased. He turned and gave the tall blonde woman next to him a scowl. "I suppose that explains why when the last movie came out, he kept showing up in people's homes, yelling about atomic bombs and then trying to cram himself into their refrigerators!"
"Oh!" squeaked Cassandra, not expecting that.
"Sooo…what do we do with him?" asked Eve, somewhat bewildered by all of this. There was a low grunt from the Caretaker.
"Fortunately, he won't last long," he said, a note of satisfaction in his voice, "When the initial fervor surrounding the new film subsides, he'll simply fade away and disappear."
"Awww!" Jake whined, disappointed. Jenkins gave him a dour glare.
"Until then, we take him back to the Library and keep him under wraps," the immortal continued.
"That's it?" Baird asked, wary of such a simple solution. "No…magic bindings or…enchanted whosits or…?"
"Not a thing," Jenkins answered. He waved for Ezekiel to come and help him, and the younger man hurried over. "Let's get Doctor Jones on his feet and back to the Library," he said. Jenkins and the thief hauled the semi-conscious fictional to his feet and began walking him toward the Back Door.
"Mola Ram!" Doctor Jones suddenly shouted, and turned to glower down at Ezekiel. "Prepare to meet Kali—in hell!" The Australian shot an uncomfortable look at Jenkins.
"Yes, yes—this way, Doctor Jones," the immortal instructed in a bored tone, forcing the stumbling man to keep moving. Indiana turned to stare at him.
"Nazis!" he spat angrily, I hate these guys!" Jenkins sighed.
"Yes, we all hate Nazis, Doctor Jones," he muttered patronizingly, "Now, take care going through the door, lease, the first step is a bit tricky..." Doctor Jones gave the immortal a sly look.
"It's not the years, honey; it's the mileage!"
"Tell me about it," Jenkins muttered beneath his breath, and they disappeared into the glowing light of the Annex.