Chapter 8: Fish in a Barrel

"What is a friend?

A single soul dwelling in two bodies."

-Aristotle

I sat alone at the table in the cafeteria eating what I guess you could call food but was akin to slop. The other boys learned to stay away from me after I made one of them pick their teeth off the floor like they were picking up Easter eggs. The shit tried to take a candy bar I acquired from one of the faculty members when they weren't looking so he got what he fuckin' deserved.

Fuck em. Fuck em all. They deserve it for taking me away like I was a dog. Fuckin' bastards.

As I stabbed at the mush without an appetite when one of the older boys who I've never seen before walks up with his tray and smiles at me. He sported unkempt bright red hair and freckles swamped his face and arms. He was kinda lanky looking and his baggy uniform didn't do him any favors to make his frame look bigger. He couldn't of been older than 15 but that would still make him 3 years my senior.

He points at me. "Hey! You're the new kid right?" I don't say anything and my eyes narrow. "You mind if I sit here? All the other tables are pretty booked."

I look around at the many absent seats around and figure he just wants to talk to me. I don't answer.

He takes this as approval and sits down setting his tray on the table. He laughs. "I heard that you made quite the ruckus last week…" He spoons some food into his mouth and continues. "And considering it's your first week I'd say you made an exemplary entrance. Well consider myself impressed…"

I scowl but still don't say anything.

"But I wasn't the only one paying attention. There are a certain kind of unspoken rules in here that your not really familiar with, and that's alright! You're new after all! So let me fill you in on one of them. That being you don't fuck with someone without someone fucking you back. You get me?" He smiles more.

My eyes narrow more and hold my spoon like my life depended on it. "If your gonna threaten me I should let you know, I don't go down easy…"

He puts his hands up passively. "Weren't no threat. Just stating how things are around here at Wellington." He pauses and studies me a moment but continues. "Rule number two is how you need friends here if you want to survive. Take that shitbird you beat the piss out of for instance, he had lots of friends… Friends who may or may not want some payback."

I look at him still scowling. "Then I'll beat the piss out of them too."

The red head snorts. "Yeah you could do that but you know what would be easier?" He leans in closer. "If you made some friends yourself. You know, to watch your back?"

I look at him strangely. "Is that an offer? Because I assure you I'm better off alone."

He laughs again. "Quick as a whip ain't ya. You may think that right now but when 14 or so young boys with clubs and whatever else they find show up at your room your gonna wish you had someone behind you."

My eyes soften a little knowing he's right. Stevie was a big name around here apparently and I poked him like a sleeping bear.

I sigh setting down the utensil. "What did you have in mind, mister..?"

He sticks his hand out to be shook. "Bill! Bill Duffy, at your service!"

My jaw shifts but I return the greeting. "Charlie O'Hannah…" I look at the hand hesitantly but eventually shake it.

His smile of perfect teeth grows wider.

"I've got a good feeling about you, Charlie… We're gonna be fast friends…"

I feel movement on my chest causing me to stir out of my slumber and the long forgotten memory fade. I grumble in my sleep and the movement happens again. I feel my eyes slowly pry themselves apart expecting to see a pony shaking me awake but I was alone in the dim lit room. It couldn't have been any later than six as the sun hasn't completely dawned over the land if it was any indication of the window.

Wait. If I'm alone in here then what…

I look down at my chest and I feel a considerable weight laying on top of me as I gaze upon the lump of blankets where my chest should be. Da fuck? I lift the blanket and I see spike clinging to me like his life depended on it. His clawed hands were clenched in my flannel that I worn through the night as I was too lazy to remove it and his eyes were squeezed shut. He squirmed every now and then and made some pitiful sounds.

I think he was having a nightmare…

"no you cant… not yet… need you…" He barely whispered.

Great. Just what I need. With the gracefulness of a plumber I sit up rather suddenly making Spike fall into my lap with a yelp. He shoots up and darts his head around like a predator had entered his den but eventually looked up seeing me staring at him in a not so friendly manner and he shrinks in fear.

"Spike?" I say flatly.

I see a bead of sweat form on his head and his lizard eyes shrink. "Yeah?"

I feel my face scrunch in annoyance. "Get off me."

"R-right hehe." He chuckles nervously and quickly escapes my lap before I could retaliate and scampers to the far side of the bed before sitting down again. "Sorry!"

Ugh

I lay my head back on the pillow in irritation that I cant have one fuckin' day to sleep in. Especially after the week I've had. I was gonna throw Spike out in the hallway but I couldn't find the energy to so I just laid there in sile-

"Today's Saturday so your supposed to be with Rainbow today." The drake breaks the quiet irritating me further. "But I don't think she's gonna come. At least not to do her duties…"

I sigh and rub my head. "Spike… It is too early for pony business. Please… The last thing I want to think about is that shithead right now."

"Oh come on it hasn't been that bad has it?" I throw my pillow in his direction angrily. "Okay, maybe it has been that bad but you need to think of the positives some more."

I literally groan aloud upon hearing this still squeezing my eyes shut. "What in the name of Mary's virgin asshole is there positive about all this, Spike."

He kinda rustles and I feel little hands lean into my thigh. "I hear breakfast this time of year is pretty positive?"

I pop open an intrigued eyeball at hearing the word. I see spike leaning on me looking smug as hell that he knows my motivation in life and how to use it against me.

I rub my eyes and lean up again. "What did you have in mind, you slithering cum stain?"

His smile widens. "How about some pancakes?" I kinda shrug indifferently making spike scrunch his eyebrows together. "But you love pancakes!

"I don't know, Spike… I'm gettin' kinda tired of the same three fuckin' things everyday." I scratch at my scalp shielded by a wall of brown floof. "That being eggs, carrots, and pancakes…"

His face twisted. "Then what do you want?"

"A big, juicy, bloody, bacon wrapped, heart attack inducing, burger…" My mouth starts watering and I grasp at food that's not there. "With beer… Cold beer…"

I hear him gag a little as he remembers my description of the ground beef sandwich. "I still don't understand how you can eat something else that was alive…"

I look at spike whose head morphs into a fried chicken leg. "Because it's fucking delicious, Longhorn…"

The fried drumstick bounces a little, "I still don't get it. I mean, the whole process doesn't sound appetizing at all. All that…" he gulps. "…blood… How could you eat something like that."

I shake my head as I started drooling making spikes head return to normal, "Don't fuckin' knock it til you try it, dude. I would literally blow Flash thoroughly for one right now if it meant I could taste it again."

His face scrunches, "How would blowing air on Flash get you this 'burger'?"

I sigh and pinching the bridge of my nose, "Don't worry about it, shrimp…" I lay back down and stare at the ceiling. "It's not like I'm ever gonna be able to eat normal again. Not as long as I'm stuck in th-wait shrimp?"

The thought hits me and I basically rise like Count Dracula out of my bed.

Spike looks at me like I lost my mind, "Uhh are you talking to me?"

I shake my head quickly, "N-no I just remembered something Fluttershy gave me yesterday! Oh man! How the fuck could I forget about it already!" I stare down at spike and give him a devilish smile. "Spike, how would you like your taste buds metaphorical cherry popped?"

He eyes me up and down unsure, "I don't know if I understand the question, Charlie…"

"No time! To the kitchen!" I exclaim like a super hero and point dramatically towards the door. While standing I grab him like he was a dirty old suitcase I didn't care for and sprint out of the room towards a delicious meal that has my name on it.

All spike can do is yelp in surprise.

OoOoO

Twilight POV

"Oh this mane…" I stare at my reflection and of course its a mess from a restful night of sleep. Using my magic I grab my brush and start pulling at the many knots and tangles to get it to it's perfect shape but something makes me frown as I remember some events from yesterday.

Applejack and Rarity's visit.

It started out nice as it had been a while since I've hung out with the mares and it was a pleasant treat of course… We spoke of plans we had made and some excitement over Winter Wrap up but the conversation quickly changed to the 'Rainbow situation' with Charlie. It's apparently getting out of hoof really quickly as she'd been torturing the human all week for 'payback'. Applejack and Rarity both told me of the experience the mare is putting Charlie through and it's making me worried. Like really worried. Applejack noticed his arm looked worse for ware when he left on Thursday from the mark which it burned his arm like he touched a hot oven but he never complained about it so I had no idea.

If that's what the mark can do when he's angry Celestia only knows what will happen when he goes berserk.

Applejack also approached Rainbow yesterday as well to find out what the hay is going on and to slap some sense into her. She apparently fell over laughing being scolded and told her that she's not gonna stop especially after what he did. Which in all fairness to Rainbow she is right in the sense that Charlie messed up. He completely demolished all the trust he had built up to that point which I still can't forgive him for personally. Not yet. But I know that the Princesses want us to 'fix' Charlie even if it kills us.

And it just might… Great now I sound like Charlie.

I sigh thinking about Charlie. He's… something that's for sure. He's crude, hateful to the point of spiteful, knows nothing about manners, and rather chaotic in nature. I just want to say I don't think he's a bad pony as he has his moments that makes me think there's something in there worth saving. Maybe the right word may be misguided instead of bad but he's so hard to make a bead on what's actually going on inside of his big dumb head that's it's impossible to ascertain where he stands. Some days he's cruel, others he's mischievous like a foal and other day's…

…and other day's he's sad.

Not in a crying in the rain type sad or anything like that but rather a silent bitterness that festers like an infected wound. He'll stare off into nothing for periods of time and not hear you until you've practically yelled at him. He also doesn't give any hints of warmth at all. No genuine smiles, no laughter, no happiness. It's like an icy mass walking around that nothing can warm its frozen embrace. He's built walls that no ladders could crest over to let ponies in and he's suffering because of it. It's really disheartening to see especially when you know you have something to do with it.

He misses home.

Or at least that's what I've deduced. I feel terrible that I dragged him here but if I'm being honest, he really hasn't been angry towards me about it. Well, let me rephrase that, he's never outright berated me like I've seen him do to others for preforming the spell which is quite odd and makes me think there is some kind of motive behind it. This is of course just an inkling as to what I think as he'll never tell me but would rather throw a sardonic comment my way.

Which he's really, really, really, really good at if I might add. Out of all of his traits I will say he's incredibly witty. Like professionally witty. He'll just keep throwing sarcastic comments left and right until he's blue in the face and let me tell you his well of creativity has not run dry in that regard. His depravity knows no end and I fear the last thing he'll say to us when he leaves is will be something he's been cooking in that noggin of his since he arrived.

"When he leaves…" I stop brushing my mane and stare at my reflection with a somber look as the thought hits me.

I don't know how to say this, but four months is a long time to be around somepony and I've grown accustomed to his presence here in the library to the point it wouldn't feel the same without him. Yeah he's a brute but there's some kind of loyalty in that thick head of his for me that I can't explain. He pokes and prods me like any other pony but he'll do things to show that he cares or at least as much as he can care. It's small, nothing you'd notice at first but its there. I wasn't really sure it existed until that argument I had with Filthy Rich a month ago.

Filthy Rich essentially waltzed into the library demanding a book that was already checked out, which I informed him of, and he started spouting insults that I was incompetent and such. Charlie walked in making himself known immediately telling him…

"What the fuck did you just say dicks fer brains? You come in here smelling like the ass end of a semen filled vagina and spout off to the lady because she doesn't have the books you want? The fuck is wrong with you?"

He then berated him for 25 minutes straight and demanded he apologize to me, or he'd follow him home to beat him to death with a spoon. I had to deescalate the situation of course in typical Charlie fashion but that was the first time I'd seen Charlie mad on someone else's behalf. I think it was his way of caring as messed up as that sounds but it shows me that he does care. Even though I didn't like that he threatened him I appreciated the gesture if that makes any kind of sense.

It was… nice in a terrible Charlie kind of way.

I sigh and give myself a small smile. "I think I'll really miss him when he leaves…" I say quietly to the mirror.

I know Spike definitely will… The baby dragon practically worships him and it's kinda worrying. Not that Spike doesn't need a stallion figure to look up to and I really don't mind that it's Charlie but when he leaves, I fear he'll be devastated. I see the way they talk to each other, and I've never seen Spike so animated before. Sure, he has friends both here and in Canterlot but he's always been an outsider due to being a dragon. One he may feel on a personal level with Charlie. The poor drake doesn't have a lot of ponies in his life to give him an example in life and he's definitely taken Charlie as a primary source.

Looking up to somepony is one thing, wanting to be that somepony is another.

I look over to, yet again, an empty basket where Spike should be sleeping making me frown as I know exactly where he is already. I've told him plenty of times to stay out of his room but he just won't listen to me. I know Charlie makes comments about it now and then but I don't think he truly minds. If he did he'd of put Spike in his place months ago like he did with every other pony who 'wronged' him.

"That stallion sure can crack a few eggs when he wants to that's for sure…" I say aloud remembering his altercation with Applejack in the middle of town.

The sound of a cuckoo clock ringing upon the turning of the hour knocks me out of my thoughts and I stare at the time of 5am letting me know its time to start the day. Happy with the way my mane looks now I turn, quickly remedy my beds messy sheets, and leave my main room to get started for the day.

As I walk passed Charlies room I notice the door was wide open and being nosy I gaze in to see it's completely empty which was odd considering the human is the antonym for a morning person. Where two snoring figures should be was just a cluster of messy sheets making me sigh. I quickly fix his bed like I do every morning and make my way downstairs to see just where the stallions made off to in a hurry at such an hour.

It wasn't until I got into the main chamber that I smelled something… strange…

Not bad, just strange.

The aroma wasn't like anything I'd smelled before causing my face to scrunch as I tried placing it but nothing ever pops into my head to name it. The only word that did eventually pop into my head was 'aquarium' but that doesn't make any sense at all! I followed the smell until I reached the slightly ajar door to the kitchen and frown as I hear muffled talking on the other side. I slowly peek my head through I feel my eyebrows knit together upon what I see.

Charlie was leaning over the stove with a spatula in one hand and a frying pan in another humming a song pretty loudly smiling all the while as he gazed upon whatever he was cooking. I couldn't help but notice he was wearing Spikes chef hat and apron while he poked at whatever he was cooking. Speaking of Spike was sitting on humans shoulders piggy back style leaning over his head with his tail swooshing back and forth in excitement.

"You're burning it." Spike states.

"I'm not burning it! Will you shut the fuck up already and let me cook dammit?" Charlie snaps at the dragon. "I cooked all day yesterday so I know what the fuck I'm doing. It's bad enough I've got to do this myself but I don't need a backseat fuckin' driver here too."

I hear Spike huff. "I told you already I would've cooked it for you if I knew how! It's not my fault I've never seen anyone cook this before…" I hear him sniff audibly. "Oh Celestia, that smells really good…"

I hear Charlie click his tongue, "Well you better be fuckin' studying, you little shit, cause this is gonna be your job from here on out. I plan on getting more so just fuckin' watch what I'm doing so you'll know how." I see him flip something in the pan and a thick sizzle could be heard throughout the room. "Now be fuckin' useful and hand me that butter, this needs to be basted for a little bit…"

"One stick of butter coming up!" He cheers.

Spike jump off his shoulder and onto the counter to fetch the condensed fat. He picks up a stick by what looked like a cutting board and some lumps sitting upon it that I couldn't identify, cutting a small piece, and returning to Charlie's shoulders throwing it in the pan making the sizzle intensify. Curiosity finally gets the better of me and I enter the room making my presence known.

"Good morning, stallions…" I state cautiously making them jump upon hearing me. That's not a good sign. "What are you two doing up already?"

Spike returns the greeting nervously. "Oh mornin' Twilight! We're just uh… making breakfast hehe…" Spike and Charlie look at each other in a way that tells me that they're in the middle of being caught doing something they're not supposed to be.

I frown really unconvinced that's all they're doing. "Really? You two are just making breakfast…" I deadpan. As I walked closer the smell got even stronger.

"Yep! Scouts honor!" Charlie gleams as he holds three fingers up to me making me frown further. "So go read a book or get lost somewhere that isn't here so we can finish making the most important meal of the day."

When I get to the counter I freeze as I finally realize what the lumps on the cutting board are.

Fish!

Salmon to be more precise. There were three full ones laying to the side in a bowl and on the cutting board was the leftovers of one that was already filleted only leaving its guts, bones, and of course it's severed head making my face scrunch in disgust. I look over to the pan and see Charlie spooning melted butter over two pieces of Salmon meat, it sizzling all the while as he tends to its culinary needs. Next to the pan was another filled with diced sweet potatoes frying in oil.

I shake my head as I realize what's going on. "Oh no! Charlie! Where did you get this?! You know your not supposed to be eating meat! If anypony finds out they'll-" I get smacked in the head with a spatula to knock me out of my hysteria.

Charlie puts his hands on his hips and pouts. "No! Bad Twilight! Bad!" He says like I'm a dog. He looks back at the pan as I guffaw at his words. "Just chill the fuck out, Twilight, its just some fish…"

I feel my eye twitch. "Just some-Charlie, this is serious!" I start to pace and hyperventilate. "I couldn't even begin to tell the ramifications should other ponies find out!" I gasp in horror. "First it will be a rumor and then ponies will investigate, and then the mayor will find out, and when the mayor finds out she will kick us out of town andwe'llbebanishe-"

Charlie bends down, grabbing both sides of me and shakes me out of my manic state and I stare back at friendly amused blue eyes. "Twilight, just calm the fuck down, its fine! Fluttershy gave me the fish!"

I pause, "What?"

Charlie hands the spoon to spike and points at the butter. "You heard me, Fluttershy realized I'm a meat eater like some of her animals and she offered me some salmon. No ones gonna freak the fuck out over this. If they do then they're gonna have to run that timid thing into the Everfree too. So its a win win. We either will be left alone or we'll have company when we're forced to leave!"

I cant believe this! "But-"

"No butts, missy…" He pats my head like a filly and stands watching spike spoon butter over the piece of flesh before looking back. "Twilight, I need meat to survive its as simple as that. Its better I get it this way rather than hunting down and eating Rainbow."

"I don't think she'd taste real good, Charlie." Spike snickers.

He shrugs, "No, but that would be more of a thrill of the hunt kinda thing rather than a nutritional one, Spike." He looks at the pan and nods his head proudly. "Alright when it starts to change color along the edges here your gonna have to be careful or it'll burn fast. Put the heat on low…" Spike does what he's told and the flame lowers immensely as he still spoons on the liquid butter.

I want to freak out and explode as I should be doing but Charlie's logic is sound. If Fluttershy did give him this salmon then I guess its okay. But I'm seriously gonna interrogate her if this is true because if Charlie's lying oh ho there will be Tartarus to pay. But even if he is lying, Charlie's right about needing the meat to survive. At first I thought he was just joking but over last couple of months he's been slowly losing weight and he doesn't look good compared to when he first arrived. When he got here he wasn't in shape but he looked healthy or as healthy as I could tell a human could be. Now he's skinny. Like sickly skinny. We've tried upping his meals but it never seemed to be enough especially when his face started shrinking a little.

It's no wonder Fluttershy offered him the fish she'd know best about that sort of thing.

I sigh looking at the two enamored in their taboo task but I feel like I should be doing something. "Do you two need any help?"

They look at each other and back at me before Charlie shrugs and gestures by the counter. "If you want to dice those peppers I won't stop you. I wanted them for the sweet potatoes but spike here doesn't want to do it."

Spike still intently focused on the fish just rolls his eyes. "What are you talking about? I already tried to chop them but you wanted me to watch you cook this remember?"

"Nope!" Charlie gleams. "I don't recall that happening at all now shut the fuck up and focus." Spike groans in annoyance.

I stare over at by the cutting board and indeed there are a few full red bell peppers that needed tending to for the meal so I thought what the hay. Looking back at the two one more time I sigh as I summon my magic to float over a stool and start prepping the counter. I really didn't want to touch the fish guts even with my magic so a new cutting board would be needed. In no time I started precisely cutting and chopping the peppers while the two bickered like a married couple.

"Your gonna burn it!" I hear Charlie click his tongue again. "Spike, I swear to god if you ruin this for me I'll destroy you."

Spike looks up with a leer. "You know, Charlie, if you put as much effort into making friends as you do with food I think you'd be the most popular pony in Ponyville…"

Charlies eyes narrowed. "You know, Spike, if you put as much effort into cooking the damn food as you do sucking Rarity's toes we'd be eating alre- OW!" He starts rubbing his head after Spike smacked him with the spatula. "What did I do?!"

I giggle a little seeing them fight. Stallions will be stallions…

"Ha serves you right…" Spike snorts and stares at the fish. "Hey, Charlie, is this done? It's starting to brown."

Charlie quietly curses still rubbing his head and gazes into the pan and nods his head softly. "Yeah it looks about done. Put it on a plate so it can rest a few minutes." Charlie turns to me. "Are you done with those peppers yet or are you just jerking them off?"

I feel my cheeks grow hot at his crude statement. "Y-yeah, they're done. Where do you want with them?"

"Fuckin' finally…" He juts a thumb behind him towards the already fried potatoes. "Just dump them in there and I'll caramelize them."

Doing what I'm told I use my magic to move the diced peppers into the pan. Charlie using the butter from the fish dumps it in and cranks the heat on high and starts flipping the contents around to be mixed. After about a couple minutes he seemed satisfied and shakes some salt and pepper over them before standing back staring at his creation proudly. Spike walks over and joins him mouth watering staring at the food.

"You did good, boots, considering this is your first time playing with fish." Charlie pats Spike on the shoulder in a gratifying way without taking his eyes off the food.

The look on Spike as he hears this was indescribable and makes me pause. He looked so elated to hear that from Charlie and stared at him in a way I'd never seen before. Not even Rarity could get a look like that out of him…

I'll have to talk to him about that later…

"What now, Charlie?" The drake asks but his eyes are still sparkling from the compliment.

The monkey lets out a laugh, "Now? Now we eat dammit!" he turns to me. "Kitchen wench! Be fuckin' useful and grab some plates for us would ya?"

I huff as I feel my magic manipulate some china over from the cabinets. "A please and thank you won't kill you, you know…" I grumble as he grabs the plates handing one to spike.

"Believe me if it did I'd of said it a long time ago." He just snickers as he spoons some potatoes onto his plate and picks up a piece of salmon before rushing to the table. "Last one to get to the table cleans this shit!" Spike follows his lead leaving me with the many dirty pans and bowls.

I just groan looking at the mess but if I'm being honest it can wait. I take a plate of my own and just spoon a small handful of potatoes on it. I cringe at the cooked fish again not really used to the idea that it was alive at some point but I guess I'm gonna have to get used to it if Charlies gonna be staying with me. Walking over to the table and sit down and frown as I watch Charlie pick up the entire piece of salmon and take a bite out of it.

He groans in pleasure and looks at the piece of flesh with a sultry look. "Oh how I missed you, you succulent naughty little thing…" He takes another bite practically inhaling it as some juice drips into his beard.

I look at him in disgust. "Charlie, can you please use your table manners?" I eyes me a second and blows a raspberry, spitting a chunk towards me.

I just sigh and try to ignore him as I look over at Spike poking the fish like he's unsure. "Spike, I'd rather you didn't eat that…"

The dragon was about to say something but Charlie cuts him off. "Back the fuck off, Twilight, he's a goddamn meat eater for Christs sake. How he's lasted this fuckin' long eating only daffodils is beyond me."

I look at the man confused. "He's not a meat eater…"

"Bull-fuckin-Shit! Look at his chompers!" I gaze over at Spike and see his two sharp snaggle teeth sticking out of his snout. "Those are fuckin' carnivore teeth if you ask me! Made for chomping off bits of flesh and consuming like the goddamn alpha predator he is." Spike pokes his own teeth still not sure and watches Charlie take another bite. "Go ahead, Spike, ignore her."

All I could do is look in horror as Spike's eyes narrow in determination and grabs the piece of flesh with his bare hands like Charlie taking a bite. He freezes immediately and his eyes widen as the slits in in eyes shrink considerably. He takes a few soft chews but he stays relatively still. He looks down at the fish still chewing softly and looks back up but there's nothing behind his eyes. Like he's deep in thought or something is taking over his mind.

He swallows and the piece falls out of his hand back onto the plate with a thud.

"Spike?" I ask quietly. He doesn't respond making me worried. "Spike are you-"

"THAT'S THE BEST THING I'VE EVER TASTED!" He explodes and starts bouncing up and down as he takes another bite. "Oh Celestia, I can't believe I've been eating hay my whole life!"

Charlie looks at me smugly, "Told ya… He's a goddamn predator." He takes a bite of his own and juts a thumb at his own chest. "Just like me!"

Spike beams again and starts taking chunks out of the meat faster.

I huff as I watch the two of them devour their meal like they hadn't ever eaten before making my appetite kinda dwindle but nevertheless I spoon some of the fried sweet potatoes in my mouth and it tastes really good. Like too good… I stare at the plate and realize he poured the grease from the fish into this making frown. I guess I'm not technically eating the meat but it still feels incredibly wrong but I'm still hungry so I guess it's okay…

We all ate in silence for a moment until a new voice enters the room from the main entrance.

"I thought that was fish I smelled…" A fully armored Flash Sentry was standing in the door with a smirk on his face.

Oh no…

Charlie waves unenthusiastically towards the stallion. "Oh Flash is here to grace us with his presence. Hooray…" He says very apathetically.

I start panicking. "Flash! Uh what doing here?!" Just as he opens his mouth to answer I start up again. "This isn't fish! It's uhh… weird potatoes?" I smile awkwardly at him making the pegasus mouth twist in discomfort.

"Riiiiight…" He juts a hoof at the counter at the salmon still sitting out in the open. I feel my eyes shrink into my skull. "And those are just potatoes that just happen to look like fish?"

"But I-He-we're-" I start fumbling my words like an idiot trying to come up with a new excuse.

Flash chuckles at my own expense. "Miss Sparkle, I've been in the presence of many foreign ambassadors who's main diet consists of meat. I'm pretty used to it at this point and I'm honestly not all that surprised that Charlie falls into that category as well." He looks over at the human and smirks while walking closer to the table. "Of course you'd need to suck the life force out of something living to survive… It makes so much sense as I've been feeling the same thing happening to me since I met you."

"Oh hardy fuckin' har, you dildo." He takes the last bite of the salmon before continuing. "When I run out of meat I'll know exactly where to look next. My grandmother had a great recipe for 'Shit talking Horse kebabs' that are out of this world and I wouldn't mind trying it again."

Flash genuinely chuckles at that and takes a seat next to spike who growls at him when he gets too close making me and the pegasus quirk an eyebrow.

"Spike! That was rude! Apologize to our guest." I chide.

Spike actually narrows his eyes at me. "Why do I always have to say sorry? Charlie literally destroyed the town and nopony cares about that!" He cries in an outburst I'm not used to.

I frown as I've never had to deal with a defiant Spike like this before. "It's because you know better, Spike! Charlie apparently grew up in a sewer so being a decent member to society don't exist to him."

Charlie snorts. "Yeah, love you too, prick…"

Spike eyes the Pegasus and lowers his head a little. "I'm sorry… I guess."

I actually scowl at the dragon. What is wrong with him!

"It's fine, Miss Sparkle, I take no offense to Spike. I've gotten somewhat used to Charlie and his charming personality so this is nothing." Flash assures as he gets comfortable. "Speaking of…" When he does he grabs a small bag filled with what sounded like bits and tossed it towards the dragon which he grabs and looks at incredibly smug. "It seems you've won again… I don't know how you managed to get him up and ready at this hour. I thought for sure this was going to be easy 20 bits…"

Spike tosses the bag up and down proudly, "It was a pleasure doing business with you…"

Charlie points a finger at Flash and laughs. "Das right you shit Hahaha!" He takes a bite and freezes as he realizes what they said. "Wait a minute, you made another bet?!"

Flash eyes the smug dragon distastefully. "Yes… It appears your scaly companion knows you a lot better than I unfortunately. I'm down 40 bits already…"

I facehoof. "Unbelievable," I look over at Flash who is watching Charlie lift the plate to his mouth and scoop potatoes in like a shovel in morbid curiosity. "Is there any other reason your here this early other than of course making back room bets with my employee?" I deadpanned.

Flash blinks shaking out of his trance watching the human eat and turns to me coughing into his hoof. "Actually, yes there is. I'm afraid Rainbow Dash is out of town for the weekend so she will not be attending her duty for the day. When I asked what we are to do with Charlie she said…" He paused as if he was thinking of a better way to word it. "…to just do with whatever you thought best."

Charlie wipes his mouth and sighs in relief. "Oh thank fuckin' Christ… I thought she was just fuckin' with me yesterday when she said that."

Flash's face contorts in confusion. "Who is this 'Christ' you keep mentioning? You've been saying it all week."

Charlie raises a fist, shaking it, and shouts at the ceiling. "Someone whose supposed to helping me not watch me suffer!"

"…What?"

I sigh. "Don't worry about it." I wipe my mouth with a napkin and look at the guard. "Are you sure that is what Rainbow said?"

He kinda cringed recalling his conversation. "Not in so many words… But yes those were her instructions."

"Hmm well this is unexpected." Then a realization hits me. "Oh no! This ruins all of my plans for the day!" Using my magic I summon my schedule ledger and open it for today gazing at my entire day and all of my appointments.

"Oh boy, here we go…" Charlie huffs and nods at Flash. "You ready for your first time?"

He looked at the man confused. "uhhh first time for what?"

I ignore them as I gaze upon my Saturday.

"Well lets see, I have an appointment at the spa at 8:30, I cant push that up my hooves really need it.

A meeting at mayors at 10:30 about details on Winter Wrap Up, that's far too important to move around. Tea with Rarity and Pinky at noon, I guess that could be moved to 4:00 and-wait no I have to see Cheerilee if she has any spare Equestrian learning books and if she had any teaching tips…" I scribble out some lines to rewrite them.

Flash speaks first. "Uhh Miss Sparkle?"

"If I move the 4:00 to 3:00 then I can fit tea in at 4 and that would be enoug- Oh no! 3:00 is book club! I've already postponed it two times I can't do that again!" I start scribbling harder as I realize my mess up.

"-Twilight-" Spike yells.

"Oh by Celestia! 2:00 I have to make plans for Charlies studies for monday! That's gonna take a lot longer than anticipated so my entire day will have to shift an hour forward leaving only-"

Something hard hits my head causing me to fall backwards out of my chair and onto the floor. I hear a clatter next me as I see a spoon that wasn't mine settle on the floor and I look over to see Charlie shaking his head in disapproval.

I blush hard realizing what happened. "I uh, I did it again didn't I?"

Charlie smiles but I can tell it's not genuine. "Yep! You know I'm gonna run out of things to chuck at you eventually then your gonna really be fucked…"

I pout and lay my head back on the ground. "What am I supposed to do?"

Charlie shrugs, "I don't know. Eat shit and die?" He starts picking at his ear. "Honestly though, I don't understand what the big deal is, Twilight. Just go do your shit I'll just do something productive in the Library."

"Sleeping is not productive, Charlie…" I huff.

He shrugs. "I don't know, I find it fixes things." He picks up his plate and walks passed me to the sink. "And besides I'm not fuckin' going out in this shit cold. Not fuckin' today." he sniffs his hands and blanches. "I'm gonna go take a fuckin' bath… I smell like I've been swimming in pussy all fuckin' day…" He says and exits the room without saying another word.

Spike looks at us confused. "I haven't seen any cats around here…" Flash and I look at each other and start chuckling at his innocence. I retake my seat and float the dirty dishes to the sink where they'll be washed eventually, hopefully, be washed sometime today.

"Spike can you start on the dishes, please?" He pouts and crosses his arms. "I'll stop by the Hay Cafe and get you that cheese cake you like…"

He looks at the dishes before sighing and stood up. "If you forget like you did last time, I'm gonna lose it…" He walks away from the table leaving only me and the guard alone.

Flash looks at the door where Charlie left and a quizzical look forms. "I don't understand how you can live with that thing for so long, Miss Sparkle."

I couldn't help but shake my head. "You get used to it." I look at the doorway and a small smile forms. "He has his moments… And it is nice having somepony else living here. It felt kinda empty with just me and Spike."

"I suppose so…" His head cocks. "He's not what I expected that's for sure."

My eyebrows lift up. "What were you expecting?"

"An angry ape man who destroys anything in his path." He states rather assuredly.

"Uh Are you sure you met the right Charlie?"

He shrugs. "I mean that would be an apt descriptor of him but that's not what I see when I look at him. Or at least not until the other day."

"What do you mean?" I ask confused.

He sighs and looks at me. "When I first joined the Guard there was a disaster outside of Canterlot that wasn't far from the castle. Two trains collided, you see."

My ears perk up in recognition. "Oh! I remember this! It was all over the papers!" I kinda slump down a little as some details start hitting me. "A lot of ponies perished… If I recall."

Flash frowns. "Yes, you are correct. Celestia sent us to aid the devastation wherever we could. It wasn't pretty and I won't go into details but I remember a certain colt that lived through the tragedy. He lost his entire family in a blink of an eye and he was the only survivor of his kin. I personally carried him to a makeshift hospital set up nearby and assisted in his recovery for the most part." He looks down at the table sadly. "He never cried. Not once. Even when I said it was okay to and that no one would judge him he looked up at me with eye's I'll never forget. He looked so lost. So defeated. Like nothing mattered. Eventually I parted ways with him and returned to the castle but I never did forget his gaze."

I sit there in shock from this revelation of the incedent but my face scrunches. "I'm sorry to ask but… what does this have to do with Charlie?"

He sighs again and looked back up at me. "When I stare at Charlie I see the same pair of scared lonely eyes as that colt. He's a brute and he's angry but it's there. I nearly flinched the other day when I saw how he looked at me at Applejack's farm." I frown and stare back towards the door. I know what look he's talking about. "So I don't know what to think of him at the moment. In the report it said he's dangerous and while I don't think that it's wrong I also think that maybe there's more to it but if I'm being honest… I'm not really payed to think. But that's enough about me! Tell me more about Ponyville. I've only been here a few times but I'm not really familiar with the area."

"Oh I'd love to!" I'm grateful for a topic change.

We spend an about an hour chatting about the sights, things to do, that kind of thing. After a little bit our lovely chat was interrupted by Charlie walking back in with wet damp hair sitting down in 'his' seat and made idle banter back and forth with Flash. I believe they were in the middle of an argument about 'Flash's hard on for Charlie'. I think that's how he put it.

"What kind of question is that? Of course I'm interested in mares!" The guard yells.

Charlie shrugs with a grin. "I don't know, man, you've been metaphorically up my ass since you got here and I'm starting to think that you want that to be literal."

"I-I can't believe we're even having this conversation. It's preposterous!"

"Classic closeted denial. Do your parents know? If not let me tell you that it's not gonna be fun when you finally spill the beans. Mom's gonna be in tears and dad's gonna look at you differently for the rest of your life."

Flash looked like he was gonna explode and turned to me. "Save me…"

I couldn't help but giggle like a foal. "Sorry, Flash, Charlie has a talent for deconstructing ponies that even goes beyond my own abilities." I look over at a clock by the stove realizing that it's 8:05. "Oh hay! I still have that appointment at 8:30!" I look over at my schedule and sigh. "I guess I'm gonna have to cancel the whole day."

Flash coughs in my hoof to catch my attention. "That will be unnecessary. If I may, I think have a solution that will help all of us. I'll stay here at the library and oversee his duties and you can go about your day unperturbed."

I perk up at that. "Really? You'd do that for me?"

He shrugs. "If I'm being honest it'll be more of a favor to me than to you. The barracks are a bore and I'm going stir crazy. It'll be nice to get out for the day." He looks over at Charlie who gave him a kissy face. A reminder of the previous conversation. "Even though it's with detestable company…"

Charlie smirks. "Closeted."

"OH YOU-!" Flash rubs his head and looks back at me like he was gonna take back his proposition.

I trot away from the table before he could speak. "Sorry! Got to go, I'm gonna be late!"

All I hear before I leave for the day is Flash cursing making me laugh.