Chapter 9: Schools Out Forever!
"There is no greater sorrow
than to recall a happy time
when miserable."
-Dante Alighieri
Monday
"Oh, will you stop being a filly and just repeat after me?" Toilet chided.
"This is ridiculous! These fuckin' symbols make no fuckin' sense!" I point at one symbol in particular. "Like that one! That's straight up just a dick! What the fuck is that even supposed to mean?! Get bent?" I feel my hand zapping me as anger fills my chest.
"It means 'school yard' and it does not look-" Twilight looks at it and shuts her mouth. "Huh it does actually kinda look like that now that you mention it…"
"Ugh!" I throw my hands up in frustration and lay my chin down on the table filled with study books for children. "Is the day over yet?"
"Oh hush, it just started." She taps on her chalk board with equestrian sentences written about. "Now repeat after me and follow my hoof. 'The colts and the fillies ran through the school yard'."
"'The squiggly line jumped the horseshoe, then robbed the letter Q at gunpoint before finally somersaulting onto a dick'. There can I go back to bed now?" I cross my arms and look off into the distance.
"Oh, by Celestia's sun, you're worse than Spike!" Twilight looks at the sentence and frowns before turning back to me. "Don't you want to read things by yourself for a change? You live in a library and you literally cannot understand anything!"
"Never was much of a bookworm." An actual lie, I love reading books I'm just being difficult. "Besides why the fuck am I trying to learn a language that I'm not gonna need when I get home."
She gives me a stern look. "And how long do you think that's gonna be? It's almost been 5 months already what if it takes longer? 6 months? 10? A year?"
I scowl as I feel my mood deteriorate. "Man, you're really getting my hopes real high with talk like that. Thanks, Twilight, I don't know what I would have done without a pep talk like that." I sneer through gritted teeth and a painful shock.
Her eyes widen. "N-no I didn't-" She lowers her head and shuts her eyes. "Charlie, I know this isn't what you want to do but you can't sleep in your room all day. It's not gonna make time go by faster."
"At least give me the chance to try…" I grumble and lean back into the school desk. She looks at me with a tinge of sadness in her eyes before sighing.
She looks over at a clock that reads 9:23 before looking back at me. "Let's take a small break. We'll resume in 15 minutes…" She walks out of the study leaving me alone to cool off with my thoughts.
And boy thoughts are what I had.
That first Saturday after my sentence was carried wasn't anything special if I'm being honest. Flash stayed to watch me for the day after Twilight left which you think would have been the worst thing ever, but it wasn't actually that bad. We threw insults back and forth all day with Spike interjecting now and then but it was all in good humor, nothing serious. Hell, I'm starting to actually like the dick thimble not that I'd actually admit it to him. He can take some ball busting in stride and not take it personally like the rest of these shits. A trait I admire as I haven't had anyone to bounce off of for months. Spikes too childlike and Twilight's too uptight to throw the proverbial roast ball back and forth.
Talking wasn't all we did, however. We still had daily chores which we banged out fairly quickly like sorting book returns and of course cleaning up after our breakfast. That was the highlight of the last four months for fuckin' sure. I'm not much of a seafood guy back on earth to begin with but it may as well be dipped in gold and served to me by a playboy. I know spike enjoyed it. Maybe even a little too much if I might add. But what do I know…
Around 8:00 or so when Twilight was in for the night, I started feeling clammy and flushed as I was trying to listen to her reading aloud a book she'd been assigned for her club. I had nothing else to do and these ponies don't know what fuckin' TV is so I figured what the hell. Flash even stayed also hanging around for whatever fuckin' reason, but he noticed how bad I looked and informed Twilight which I tried to dismiss with a middle finger, but a heavy spell of nausea hit me. The next thing I know I feel myself falling backwards onto the floor with Twilight screaming my name.
And this is where the fun begins…
That first Sunday was… Sunday was a bad day for me. I got sick. Like really sick. Which really blew as it was my only free day I had to myself. Nothing physically happened but mentally something did. The nightmares, they're getting worse. Like really worse. I wouldn't be telling you how freaked out I was over them if it wasn't anything serious. I don't know what's going on as I'm unsure how a figment of my imagination can torment me so but it's fuckin' destroying my sanity. What little I actually have…
One dream in particular stuck out from the others.
I awoke in a bedroom at Wellington's, but it was different. Decayed, falling apart, abandoned. Its halls were empty and its rooms vacant. There's nothing but the soft pitter-patter of rain with an occasional low rumble of thunder.
This isn't right… This place should be teeming with boys of all ages and it looks like no one's been here in years. I find myself walking down an empty hallway with a door at the very end. I see light shining through the cracks and someone walking behind it. I don't hear a sound but something, a feeling, beckons me forward and until I'm a foot away. I hear laughter and chatting behind it making my curiosity get the better of me.
I twist the doorknob and the door slowly opens. I blink.
It's Casper's Bar.
Bill's bar… The bar we all worked out of back home. There were people everywhere, drinking, having a good time. I stand there staring until I hear a voice call my name. A voice really familiar to me. I walk through the door into the bar and as I turn around to shut the door its gone. Like it never existed. I gaze around at the crowd, and it just isn't right. The people have blank faces like an action figure and they all walk around like mannequins being pulled by strings.
The only one that looked normal and moved normal was the bar tender… Someone I knew well.
Bill was cleaning the table staring at me with a somber look. I walk over and sit down, with weird puppet things on either side of me, and look at my murderer.
"What'll it be, Charlie." He asks.
"You tell me, Bill." My eyes narrow.
He sighs and pours a drink and sets it in front of me. "What are you drinking to?"
I take the drink and swig it. "To the fallen…" I say my gaze never leaving his.
"What will you do now?" He asks as he starts cleaning the table again.
"Find you." I state.
He chuckles. "That's not what's next." He takes my empty glass and fills it again. "Another for the fellas?"
I shake my head. "It's just us now."
He nods. "It's just us now." he repeats.
The sound of liveliness inside the bar halts suddenly making me spin and the place looked as abandoned as it did back inside Wellington's. The only ones left is me and Bill. Bill walks around the bar and toward me holding a drink.
"It's just us now." He states again.
I frown staring at the glass. "What are you drinking to?" The moment I blink the drink suddenly turns into a gun.
He points it at me. "It's not for me."
A sudden flash and darkness.
I then awoke in my bed early morning, and I was drenched in sweat feeling incredibly ill. Spike was the one who actually woke me up out of my dream shaking me. He looked so worried. Apparently, I'd been delirious most of the night from fever. We don't know what caused it as we've determined it wasn't the fish. If it was, then Spike would have been down for the count too. I'm still blaming walking everywhere in the middle of fuckin' winter without any real winter garments. Fuckin' cold bullshit.
Twilight would come in every now and then to soothe me when I was especially out of it. Apparently, I said a lot of shit I wasn't supposed to. Shit about home but at least for the most part it was all gibberish. Nothing she'd understand without context which I won't supply her with. She asked me what Wellington's was and I told her it's where you get your dick tugged and she shut the fuck up without asking me anymore questions.
The dreams really… they've really ruined my mood lately that's for sure.
I feel a little better now for the most part, but the dream world has been torment and started haunting me since. I haven't been sleeping well as it is as you already know with that dark piece of shit, but this goes beyond that. Memories replay over and over again that I'd have gone the rest of my life never thinking about again let alone reliving. The rest of that Sunday consisted of me staring up at the ceiling ignoring everyone who came in to bother me. Twilight was particularly annoying as she constantly bugged me but I didn't see much point in arguing with her. I think that was bothering her the most. I always argue. Hell, I'm born to argue but just not on that Sunday.
Oh boy, speaking of arguing…
Spike…
The little shit has been acting weird since that day we first started eating meat but nothing that I'd complain about personally. I see it as a welcome change much to Twilight's chagrin. He's been a little aggressive as of late towards Twilight, and anyone else that isn't me for that matter, to the point that it sometimes seemed downright insulting. Questioning every order and actually sticking up for himself for once. I'd give him a pat on the back if it wasn't making Twilight lose her shit and taking it out on me. He and her have been arguing like a married couple leaving the honeymoon stage and then finding out the other cheated with the neighbor.
Like this morning for instance. He blew up after being asked why he had to re-sort a section of the library like he'd done last week for no apparent reason other than Twilight being an actual control freak. I watched as they bickered back and forth for about 20 minutes without anything really being resolved before Spike actually leaving out of anger and stormed off somewhere, probably Rarity's shop if I had to guess but I don't know when he's coming back. Twilight tried to go after him, but I knew that kind of frustration and after much convincing got her to believe it's better if he goes through it alone and that he'd be back later.
We settled little bit after he left, and we chatted rather calmly during breakfast which was pleasant enough I suppose. She was mostly venting about her grievances about Spike, but we talked about other shit too. It's been a while since just me and her talked alone, between the Murder Mares and Spike we never get a chance to. Of course, like every conversation it turned into a fuckin' lesson eventually and she finally berated me over my comments to the Cakes like it didn't happen a week ago. I just waved a dismissive hand and continued eating my eggs. I will say through the entire meal she kept looking at me like she wanted to ask me something rather unpleasant. I never made it aware that I noticed it and thank fuckin' Christ she never asked. I really wasn't in the goddamn mood to be interrogated today.
Once breakfast was over she herded me into the study which Twilight reorganized into an honest to God classroom. There was a school desk (which I was sitting in by the way), a blackboard with today's lesson written all over it making me go cross-eyed staring at it, and a skeleton of a pony hanging by a rolling cart in the corner for informational purposes, and fucking books.
Fucking books everywhere and that's saying something as I live in a library…
Apparently, Twilight had been a busy bee yesterday and set all this up for me in the hopes to teach me how to read and write her native language as per in accordance with Celestia's orders. Fuckin' cunt. We're about two lessons in and all I've learned is hello and goodbye which to be fair is a lot more than I thought I'd learn.
You see, the language ain't like the traditional alphabet. They don't string together a set of letters to make words and reuse said letters to form others. Instead, they have a single correlating symbol for every single fuckin' thing making it impossible to remember any of it. The closest thing I could think that would be the most similar as to those on earth would be Chinese or any other country from asia that does shit like that. At least they read left to right like English, but it doesn't help much as you heard earlier. It also doesn't help that these lessons are infuriating and as you already know I can't do that anymore…
Looking down at the mark I frown as it's been really active today.
So, I guess I should explain how this mark's been affecting me because it's a lot more than just a simple 'Charlie prod'. You of course know that when I get mad the stupid fuckin' thing tasers me into oblivion, that much is obvious, but it goes beyond that. It drains me. Like energy wise. I start to feel like I hadn't slept in a week but it's every time it goes off. Just sitting here annoyed I feel it reverberate up my arm seemingly feeding off me like a goddamn leech, but I think that's by design. Forcing passiveness through exhaustion. Not to mention the burns I've been getting adding injury to injury…
I lift up my sleeve to inspect my arm and wince as pain receptors activate from the action. It's fucked at the moment; it feels red and tender from nonstop heat torching me every time I decide I'm not darn diddly happy at the moment. I will say that the burns are more from the larger episodes. Now, the bigger shocks well… Think of my body as a fuse in a fuse box. Electricity uses me as a buffer to keep the circuit in check, but also like a fuse it can blow.
And boy, does it fuckin' blow…
I sigh leaning over and decide to pull out my journal to finish a doodle I'd started a few days ago that I never quite finished. Hadn't been able to write much in it as of late because of how fuckin' busy I've been but I might as well do something that I kinda enjoy while sitting in here. This thing was one of the few items that came with me when I was 'transported' here. It's both a blessing and a curse if I'm being honest as it holds information I've written down for like the past two years, so a lot of things in here are kinda hard to reminisce over. However… It is nice having somewhat of an outlet I guess and I have to keep the entries coming. It's a personal goal or whatever, I guess, I don't know I just like doin' it.
More so the drawings rather than the autobiography, if I'm being honest. With almost every entry, I sketch a small scene to go with it. Sometimes it's something to do with whatever I wrote down and it adds context or it's just a random picture I thought about at the moment. Bill always made fun of me for it, said I was too busy pretending I was Picasso rather than earning money, but that sounds just like him to a fuckin' T…
All money, no pleasure…
I heave a sigh thinking of the man again knowing what he did. How he did it. Why he did it…
After everything I did for hi-
I shake my head, banishing him from my thoughts as I finish the drawing. The doodle in question was of Angel looking up at me defiantly shaking his furred fist at me. I snort a little staring at the rabbit as I finish the details remembering his shenanigans that I found amusing. Just as I finish a voice comes up behind me.
"What are you drawing?" Twilight ungracefully yells over my shoulder making me jump. "Oh, that's Angel, isn't it? I can tell by the undying fury in his eyes."
My face falls out of shock and into annoyance as I shut the journal rather harshly. "Well, I was drawing that little shit…" I turn to her who's uncomfortably close smiling at me. Disgusting. "You know, you fuckin' ponies really need a lesson on what personal space is and how to fuckin' respect it. Look! We're in a class right now if you wanted a lesson real quick."
"I'd rather skip one of your lessons if that's alright by you. I still have nightmares over the last one…" She quips and rolls her eyes. "I don't understand why you're so cagey about your drawings. What's the point of drawing if nopony sees them?" She walks around the desk towards the chalk board.
"Maybe because they're mine and I can do whatever the fuck with them? I could use them as toilet paper if I fuckin' felt like it." I snap really not liking how she's the nosiest thing to ever exist. "Besides what does it matter to you?" I sneer.
Her face kinda flushes a little. "Well… They're nice to look at if I'm being honest. There's not a lot of artists in Equestria let alone here in Ponyville and you're really good!" She looks at me and smiles a little bit. "You look like you enjoy it too which is rare to see."
I scoff. "Yeah, enjoy these nuts in your mouth." Her look deflates and sighs. "Let's just get back to this stupid lesson and be done with it…"
"My my, is the foal throwing a tantrum today, Miss Sparkle" A new voice in the form of Flash enters the equation. "You know making them go to bed without dinner does the trick I've heard."
I literally groan as a loud as I could seeing the shithead. "Can I just have one fuckin' day without it being ruined by your very presence?"
He looks back at twilight. "Has he been burped yet?"
I groan even louder making Twilight giggle. "What you are you even doing here? I'm here see!" I wave an erratic hand around the room. "Doing my lessons, so fuck off I'm in the mood today."
He smirks at me. "Well, I was just checking in to see if you were doing what you were told, but then Twilight and I talked for a minute and I think I know a way that may assist you."
I look between the two and make fake puppy eyes. "Mom? Dad? Can I have a brother?"
They burned up immediately from the comment making me laugh and slap the table a few times out of bemusement.
Flash coughs into his hoof to regain composure. "A-as I was saying, while guarding ambassadors who don't speak or read native Equestrian I may have picked up a few tricks that may be more suitable to your," He frowns before continuing, "…personality."
I raise my hands up in anger. "Can you just call me a fuckin' jerkoff and be done with it, please? I'm tired of the fuckin' passive aggressiveness all of you fuckin' ponies like doing. So just fuckin' puff out your chest, grow a fuckin' pair, and SAY IT LIKE YOU FUCKIN' MEA-GAAAAARGH"
A bout of electricity causes me to spasm and dots enter my vision immediately. I feel the air leave my body hastily and my chest starts burning. When the pain finally leaves I'm left smoking in my seat leaving two very worried pairs of pony eyes staring at me.
Flash looks at Twilight raising an eyebrow. "You're right, he is in a bad mood…"
Unbelievable…
After my episode everyone kinda settled in, myself included, for the lesson now with the help of the teachers pet. Flash was actually kind of helpful not gonna lie. You see Twilight's lesson was entirely based on kids who'd actually grew up around it they're whole lives which, as you can tell already, completely fucks me up my ass. Flash's on the other hand revolved around pattern recognition and seeing the symbols not as words but as things to correlate them with. It clicked a lot better making a jealous Twilight huff as it ruined her entire lesson plan, but she seemed grateful for the help.
I cross out an error on the paper. "So that means this candle lookin' thing doesn't mean 'market' but rather going to the market?"
Flash frowns. "Yes and no. The symbol itself is a term for market but do you see this dash on top of the 'candle'? That dash means 'heading towards' or 'going to'. Most symbols are reused with small alterations to show what you are doing with the meaning of the symbol. As you know that dash means heading to, a squiggly line above means inside of or dwelling in, and two dots on either side mean leaving or exiting. There are a lot more variations but those are the main ones I want you to focus on as they'll be the most common."
I nod my head, "Okay, so If I do this…" I draw the market symbol again but with a squiggly line on top, "Then that means 'I'm in the market' right?"
He chuckles and looks over at Twilight, "I think there's hope for him yet, Miss Sparkle."
"Oh, shut the fuck up, I'm not retarded." I tap my noggin, "Where do you think my wit comes from?"
Flash shudders. "I can only imagine the horrors encapsulated inside of that thick skull of yours."
"Oh, it's a death trap for fuckin' sure. If you ever find yourself inside, it's best you just off yourself right then and there to be spared the suffering." Flash looks at me in horror. "And besides it's not my fault this shit doesn't make any goddamn sense! Whoever came up with this nonsense should be drawn and quartered."
I feel a sarcastic pat on my shoulder. "There, there. I'm sure you'll be literate one day and then I can think of you not as an animal." He cocks his head, "Or less of one that is…"
As I was about to return a comment a cuckoo hanging over the chalkboard roars to life signaling the change of the hour and that it is now indeed noon. Twilight bounces up and down in excitement making me gag at her energy.
"Oh! It's lunch time!" She turns to the guard, "Would you like to stay for a bite to eat and tea, Flash? The mares will be over for a nice outing if you'd like. I think they're bringing daffodil sandwiches and celery dip."
Flash gleams. "I think I'll take you up on your offer, Miss Sparkle, teaching this savage has given me an appetite. Also, tea sounds delicious."
I blow a raspberry, "I hope you choke on it like that dick you we-" I pause as I realize what Twilight said, "Mares? Wait a fuckin' minute you didn't say anything about company! Who the fuck is coming over?!"
She laughs sheepishly, "…Everypony?"
I guffaw and stand up. "Please fuckin' tell me that she's not gonna be here!"
"Uh… She's not gonna here? Hehehe" She lies through her teeth.
Fuck. My. Life. Banging on the front door causes me to jump realizing what the next hour is gonna entail for me.
"Oh! That must be them! Go get situated in the kitchen you two and I'll go let them in." She states cheerfully and skips away having no idea of the mental break down I'm having.
A smug Flash Sentry enters my vision and asks, "You okay? You look pale…"
My eyes shift towards him and he smirks. "I'm gonna be eaten alive, aren't I?"
"Like falling into a shark tank, Charlie…" He chuckles darkly as I hear Twilight greet her friends beyond the door. Flash starts his way out of the room grabbing his helmet, leaving me alone as the situation starts to dawn on me.
"God shits in my dinner yet again. Or would it be lunch this time…" I mutter before making my way towards the kitchen ignoring the foyer and sitting down in my seat alone waiting for the dreaded guests to make their entrance.
The table was already adorned with all sorts of food and different platters spread around making my stomach rumble, but I suppress it knowing that the trouble coming through that door will outweigh everything else. Soon enough, the ponies start making their way in chatting while doing so. Seemed the whole lot was here much to my dismay. Even Spike seemed to have showed up, but he looked really annoyed mirroring my crossed arms. He sees me and his features brighten a little and makes his way over to the seat next to me taking a seat.
I grumble and he grumbles back making snort. "Where have you been, Red Forman? You missed all the fun."
He huffs, "I went to Rarity's for a little bit. I helped make some of the sandwiches for the mares get together and had come back with her, but I really didn't want to." He looks over at the purple mare and his eyes soften a little. "Twilight's still mad at me."
I quirk an eyebrow at him, "Well that's to be expected when you decide to play Johnny Reb all of a sudden after being a good little mouse for so long. What's up with you anyways?" I jut a finger at myself. "I'm the grumpy one here, remember?"
He looks at the table kinda unsure and looks back to me. "I guess I just-"
"Hey, Buddy!" a raspy voice bugles out causing me to wince. "It's been a while! Haha!"
I look over and see Rainbow standing in front of the crowd, whose all attention is on her, with a shit eating grin and tries to fly over to get closer. Thankfully, Applejack bit on her tail to prevent her from doing so and the cowmare pulls her down and scowls.
"Hwat did ah tell ya before we got here, Rainbow?" She asks in a way that sounds like she was telling.
Rainbow looks back over at me with a scowl but eventually lowers her head. "To play nice…" She scowls at me one more time. "…for now."
Applejack just sighs, "Ah guess that's the best Ah'm gonna get outta you…" She turns to me. "Good afternoon there, Charlie! Likin' the weather?"
"Not particularly." I say rather curtly and look over at the window staring at the snow falling.
"Oh, come now, darling, this season is so dashing. Just look at my booties! Aren't they adorable?!" Rarity squeals. I look down at her stupid boots making me mad that I'm reminded mine are falling apart from wear and tear.
"Yeah! I looooooove wearing my booties!" The pink menace screams making some of us wince. "I love the sound they make on a dry floor after being outside. Just listen!" She then basically starts flailing her boot adorned hooves all over the floor like an epileptic causing the accursed fuckin' squeaking.
I was about to throw something at her but thankfully Twilight stopped her with her magic.
"That's very nice, Pinky. So nice that it's gonna take me a little bit to thoroughly enjoy it again so please don't do that for the rest of the year." She casts me a scolding glance knowing exactly what I was gonna do if she didn't stop. "Alright everypony lets all take a seat and start eating, shall we?"
"Ya don't have to tell me twice!" Spike gleams and grabs a cupcake to vacuum into his stomach.
"You know, Spike, there's more to life than just eating and sleeping." Twilight quips at him, still mad from the squabble earlier.
He shrugs taking his second cupcake. "Could have fooled me." He turns to me taking a bite, "What else is there, Charlie?"
"Whiskey, money, and cunny in that order…" I shrug leaving most of the mares blushing and Flash shaking his head. "That's bout it really. Food and sleep fits between money and cunny as it can be interchangeable."
"You're as elegant as ever, Charlie…" Rarity deadpans.
Spike looks at me confused, "What's cunny?"
"When mommy and daddy love each other very much-"
"-They get married, Spike! Right, Charlie?" Twilight says grinding her teeth.
"Marriage is a scam for tax benefits." I scratch my beard in annoyance. "He's old enough to know shit like this, Twilight! He's gonna turn…" I turn to Spike and whisper in a hushed tone. "How old are you again?"
"11." Spike replies still eating.
I look back feeling vindicated. "See? He's gonna be 12 this year. When I was his age I sure as shit wasn't a shut in working to death for a nut job librarian." Spike looks up at me smiling for some reason.
Twilight facehoofs. "I can only imagine what little Charlie was getting into at his age. The mind simply boggles…"
I snort and frown leaning further into my chair. "Believe me, you don't want to know."
Flash cocks an eyebrow. "Did it involve being a sideshow for a circus? If so, then it explains everything…"
"aha ha ha, you're fuckin' hilarious… No, a lot less glamorous than the circus. Certainly, didn't get never ending funnel cake that's for fuckin' sure…" I say as my mood sours even further being reminded of my childhood. "Can we please switch the topic to Rarity's bargain basket clothes or something?"
Rarity huffs all posh like, "I'll have you know; my selection is nothing but the best! I acquire the finest of linens and silks from around the world to craft my masterpieces. You're just…" She eyes me up and down not liking what she's seeing, "…uncultured."
"I'm the uncultured one…" I shake my head, "Please get back to me when you know who the fuck Elton John is and we can finish this conversation…" I pick up a spoon nearby and use it to scratch my itchy scalp making Rarity look at disgust upon my table manners.
"Darling, did you even attempt to look at a mirror this morning? Your mane is in complete tatters" Her eyes narrow and gives a sly smile. "Or do you just enjoy the filth that clings to you? We can arrange another bath if you want?"
I clear my throat, "And have another incident in your bedroom no thanks… I'm desperate but not that desperate, toots." The others freeze and look at Rarity.
"W-why I never…" Are the only words she can muster as she blushes profusely.
"What'd he say rare. He makin' fun' a you?" Oh boy, here we go. When Rarity fails to answer her, still staggered from my blow, she turns to me with a look of displeasure. "Listen here, pardner, I wanted to play nice but if you keep insultin' mah friends yer gonna have one heck of a rodeo."
I swear my eyes are gonna roll out of my head by dinner time at this rate.
"Applejack, we've clearly established all I do is insult people. If you had been paying any kind of attention with that empty yokel noggin of yours, we wouldn't even be having this conversation. But, of course, because your thoughts only consist of 'Yee yee wanna buy som' mah apples, pardner' or 'Gotta get back to the farm, Ole Granny Smith is a waitin'… here we are."
With that ending bit I put on my most backwoods Deliverance sounding impression I can pull and cross my eyes to highlight just how low I think of her. Applejack's face turns beet red from anger and tries to throw some shade back at me, but just like Rarity she falls short. I swear she was going to tackle me if it wasn't for Twilight sitting there as a barrier. Rainbow starts grinding her teeth and somehow pulls on her ears with her hooves looking like a certain wascally wabbit as she's unable to deal with me the way she wants.
Cunt.
"Will you please stop breaking my friends?" Twilight pleads. I couldn't help but chuckle in response. "And Rarity has a point, Charlie. You need to start taking better care of yourself. Did you at least brush your teeth before coming downstairs?"
"Fuck no, I didn't brush my teeth." She gives me a nagging glare and the others seem a little grossed out. I just lean back in my chair. "What? Why would I brush my teeth before eating. That's like wiping your hooves on the welcome mat to leave your house. It's just gonna get dirty anyway."
"Charlie, that's not the point. You need start taking care of yourself again! When we're done eating, you're going to go get a bath, brush your teeth, and wear some clothes that haven't been soiled for at least a week." She jabs a hoof at my arm to amplify her request.
"At once, your grace." I mockingly bow.
"I mean it, Charlie! I'll drag you to the bathroom myself if I have to." She was about to poke me again, but I swatted her away in annoyance.
"Alright! Jesus Christ, what are you, my mother?" I reply frustrated by the slight tingle in my hand. Gettin' real sick and tired of her bullshit man.
Who does she think I am to boss around like that? Spike?
"hmpf I might as well be." is her deadpanned response. Huh I must be rubbing off on her because she normally would have taken that literally and lectured me for the next hour about how that's anatomically impossible.
I hear Flash hum breaking the small silence, "I just still can't imagine you as a colt…" I literally groan as I thought I'd redirected the conversation elsewhere. Flash is just being a cunt. "I just assumed you materialized out of a latrine somewhere."
"Flash, buddy? I told you I don't want to talk about it so fuckin' drop it." I actually snarl dropping the snark. Twilight kinda jumps remembering my reaction when she asked me same thing months ago.
"Oh, come now, I'm sure it wasn't that bad." He insists. Twilight shakes her head as if to stop what was about to happen. "I'm sure one little story won't kill you."
Okay. He fuckin' asked for it.
I look down at spike, "You said you were 11, right?" He nods and I look back at flash. "On my 11th birthday, I was beaten to near death by a sack of shit who's not even worth mentioning and tossed me off a third story building. I broke both my legs in six spots, cracked my vertebrae, had a collapsed lung, minor brain damage, and a fractured skull. Our apartment was facing an alley where the trash goes so when I landed, I laid there in agony for, I don't know like, three days or so before anybody noticed. Doctors said I'd probably never walk again but here I am still going strong at the proud age of 25 so there's still that." I cheerfully do a small arm dance, all of it being sardonic in nature. "Happy 11th birthday little Charlie! One of so many! C'mon, Pinkie! Wanna top that one? I didn't even get into my 12thbirthday yet! That was somethin' that knocked the socks off the last one, you woulda loved it!"
The looks of absolute horror on everyone were picture worthy. Twilight was softly shaking her head sadly as she had heard my 10th birthday story before but is more than likely realizing that all of them are fucked in some type of way. Pinkie's eyes widened as far as they could as the party animal finally seemed to understand why I didn't want a fuckin' party. Flash looks at me like he knew he fucked up by pressing me and his head lowers some deep in thought. Even rainbows scowl turned to confusion hearing the tale. Spike was the only one I couldn't get a bead on as he watched me carefully, but fuck him, I'm so done with this shit. I just looked on smugly eating up how fuckin' good these naive ponies have it.
They've really got no idea what it's like living back at home.
The silence that filled the room was killing me, so I just change the topic and turn to the dragon who's still watching me. "When is your birthday anyways, boots? I don't think I've been around that long to see it."
He blinks and cocks his head but eventually answers, "It's in summer right after the annual Grand Galloping Gala. Pinkie always throws me the best birthdays. Last year she made a lifelike statue of me made out of sapphires and cupcakes! Remember Pinkie?"
He seemed to just breeze right past my childhood comments like nothing making me appreciate the shit for helping me move the conversation along. The topic of Spike's birthday registered with Pinkie finally and she shook her head before vibrating. Yes, you heard me right, vibrating.
Freak.
"OH! That was such a goooooooood birthday party! I spent months finding all those sapphires, some legally and others-well I got them in the end, but the hardest part of that whole thing was of course keeping Spike out of the Sugarcube Corner." She, sitting next to him, ruffled his fins making him scowl at her. "I knew you'd of smelled the jewels, so I literally watched you every second of the day until it was your big B-DAY!" She all but screamed.
Spike looks at her confused, "You weren't watching me every day? In fact, I don't remember seeing you at all."
"That's what you think!" The pink mass spews. "If you didn't notice then that means my stake out worked a lot better than intended! I was within 10 feet of you 24/7!"
Da fuck?
"Ooooookay…" Spike says a little perturbed that he was literally stalked for a better part of a year it seemed. "Whose party is next then? I think it's-"
"Matilda's? Yeah, I have her scheduled already and booked BUT don't tell her cause if she knows then the surprise in surprise parties kinda useless! You know this reminds me of the time whe-"
The new topic of Pinkie Pie birthdays and ones coming up took the focus off me for the most part, fuckin' finally. Not everyone though. Flash was still in deep thought about what I told him, but I honestly don't give a shit. I hope he fuckin' feels bad I tried warning him and he didn't listen. Rainbow was another one, but she's been gawking at me the entire time she's been here, so I just ignore it and try to fuckin' calm down as my hand starts aching.
With that everyone settles and starts picking from the assortment of food, most of which is inedible for me making me frown, but I'm not hungry anyways. Too annoyed. These fuckin' mares are gonna be the death of me I swear. I just lean back in my chair and stare at nothing in particular until I hear a voice bring me back.
"Aren't you gonna get something, Charlie?" A soft voice asks I look over to see Fluttershy with a small smile. The others hearing her all start looking at me.
"Not hungry." I say very terse-like and lean deeper into my chair.
"Do you need more fish?" She asks causing the whole room to stop in time. "I have some more at home if you need it."
The room looks back and forth between me and Fluttershy making me sigh. "No, Fluttershy, I'm fine. I'm just not hungry…"
Rarity shakes her head. "Darling, did I hear correctly that you eat fish?"
I don't feel like doing this right now.
"Yeah, I fuckin' do." I snap. "I'm a goddamn meat eater," She opens her mouth to say something. "And before you go and say how much of a monster I am, your coltfriend here had some too and he fuckin' loved-OW"
Spike hit me with his spoon and crying, "You weren't supposed to tell anyone, jerk!"
I rub my head and roll my eyes. "It's better to rip the band aid off now. You're a fuckin' carnivore like me so fuckin' act like it." I snap as the disgust around the table with the exception for a few make me turn. "What?!"
Applejack looks over at Twilight. "You're right, Twilight, he is in a bad mood." She deadpans. This makes Flash chuckle.
Fuckface.
"Spike? Fish?" Rarity sputters, "B-but how can you eat another living thing!"
"Because we fuckin' have too!" I shake my head and cross my arms again speaking for the piece of leather. "Listen if any of you have a fuckin' problem with it take it up with your good friend Fluttershy. She's the one who gave it to me…" The timid mare goes bright red and starts to sink in her seat as all eyes are on her. "and now that that's out of the way can you all talk about something that doesn't fuckin' involve me in any way, shape, or form so I can fuckin' disappear into my own mind for a moment?"
Rarity huffs looking a little perturbed by my eating habit and my attitude but warily moved the conversation over to pinkie pie to ask her how boots felt or if she needed blah blah blah blah.
I was asked if I wanted a sandwich or anything again by Twilight, but I just grunt as an indicator that I'm not much in a talking mood. She keeps looking at me like she wants to ask something but decides against it. What the fuck is her problem? Can't a guy just sit in front of a table of food and not be hungry?
The girls finally all seem to take the hint before Idly chat about their week which, believe me, is a fuckin' snooze fest that I was barely listening to. Instead, I listened to thoughts of home burrow into my mind from the topic of childhood making me frown even harder. I didn't really have much of one so it's kinda hard to see where everyone is coming from, complaining how young Spike is. I fell into Bills lap at 12 so a year ain't that much of a leap.
I did finally catch the tail end of a sentence out of Twilight that sucked me out of my thoughts.
"-course the town square should be rebuilt hopefully before Winter Wrap Up. If not, it will be a problem. We were behind getting spring on time last year as it is but rebuilding is gonna make it impossible even with my organization skills." Twilight states towards Rarity.
Applejack cuts in, "Not with the weather like its been the last few weeks. We can't even begin ta start until maybe after winter's over. The damages were pretty severe, the last time ah looked…"
Twilight turns to the turd. "Rainbow isn't there anything you can do with weather? Maybe make it so it's not as cold for a little bit? Maybe like a week so we could send in the crews to finish? I really don't want to get scolded again by the mayor."
Rainbow shakes her head while she's chewing a sandwich. "I've told you, Twilight, if I do that the boards gonna lose their minds. It's not my job to change what the weathers supposed to be and besides…." She tosses her sandwich on the plate and scowls at me. "It's his fault anyways so why do I have to clean this mess. None of this would be a problem if he never showed up!" The others look uneasy as they see where this can lead.
Here we fuckin' go…
Lean in narrowing my eyes. "One: I don't want to fuckin' be here any fuckin' more than you want me here. I didn't leave my house one day and decide I'm gonna go terrorize some magical fuckin' horses in a different dimension. I was fuckin' brought here against my fuckin' will. And now I'm expected to just what? Act like everything is fuckin' fine? Like nothing's changed?"
Rainbow eyes narrow back. "So that gives you the excuse to hurt anypony who gets in your way? Because you miss home?" She scoffs. "If I ever get stuck in your world, I'll make sure wrecking the place is something on my to-do list…"
I ignore her comment as my hand starts exploding. "Two: I don't fucking remember destroying anything! This past month I've been gawked at and taunted over something I don't even know if I did or not! I don't remember!"
"How do you not remember destroying a whole town?! That's something you'd think would stand out! Sounds pretty convenient if you ask me." The Rainturd snarls back. "You can't just do something like that without some kind of justice!"
My hands flew up in frustration. "What the fuck did I even do?! I still don't remember anything! All I've been told are cryptic ass hints like 'you did a bad, monster' or 'you deserve the punishment you get Charlie'. So please, for the love of Christ, will someone just spill the fuckin' beans and explain in fuckin' detail what exactly happened? I don't lose my fuckin' marbles for no reason and I'm tired of you all thinking I'm a mindless ape! Something happened! And I don't fuckin' remember!" I shut my eyes and bang on my skull a little as some of that fuzzy memory feeling tickles me.
"You're more than a mindless ape?"
"Eat shit and die, Flash." I turn to the rainbow pegaus who started giggling at his remark. "You too, fuck face! You've been a headache since the fuckin' day I met you!"
Applejack calmly puts a hoof on her shoulder, "Rainbow just calm down…" She warns as steam starts coming out of the pegasus' ears.
I smirk knowing what's gonna happen next, "Yeah, Rainbow, just listen to your mommy and calm down…"
"OH, THAT'S IT!" Rainbow shoots up and over the table tackling me to the ground and we tussle for like 20 seconds before she pins me down with her heavy fat ass.
These fuckin' ponies weigh a ton, dude.
She stares down at me with a look of hatred as I struggle to get free, "And you have been nothing but a problem since you got here! It's bad enough you've done nothing but threaten everypony who walks and talks, but no! You've gotta make us all as miserable as you are! If I didnt know any better, I'd of-AHH EW! Hmmpf"
She starts gagging as I hocked a loogie into her mouth while she was talking, allowing me to lift my leg up, placing my foot on her underbelly and kicking her off me. She flies backwards onto the table knocking some plates and cups over before she manages to catch herself mid somersault and lands like a cat. I, equally as fast, get up and ready myself for another onslaught of attacks but I notice something between us that makes me pause.
My hat was knocked off my head when she tackled me and it's now laying on the table where I was sitting a moment ago. My hand instinctively goes to my head feeling it's absence and look towards it. To my horror, Rainbow noticed the cap as well and a Grinch-esque smile forms on her face before she snatched it in her maw making me gasp and my eyes widen.
"'ou want it?" She says with her mouth full and shakes her head softly letting it sway back and forth to taunt me.
My eyes narrow and a coldness grips me in a way I hadn't felt in a while.
"Give. It. Back." I snarl through clenched teeth. "Now…"
She looks over to the kitchen counter and she see's something that catches her attention making her smile widen. Before I could even follow her gaze, she snapped over to the oven which a tea kettle had been slowly boiling for the tea that was promised for the meal, and moved it over to another unlit burner exposing the flame underneath. I freeze as she puts the temperature on high making the fire sprout higher and dangles the hat over the it with her hooves.
She wouldn't… She dangles it closer making my blood freeze. I take a step closer.
"Ah ah ah stop right there, buster… or the hat gets it." She smiles, loving every second of it.
I lick my lips anxiously as I halt my approach, "H-hey, fuckin' stop this ain't funny anymore."
"I don't know, I still find it funny!" She giggles as the hat dances with the flame.
"Rainbow, we can talk about this…" She lets it slip a little farther making me flinch. "P-please just give me the fuckin' hat!"
Rainbow looks at me bemused. "Please, huh? You must really like this thing if you'd stoop so low as to start begging!"
She lowers it enough to get singed from the flame. "I'll do whatever you want! I'll leave town and go live in the Everfree like you fuckin' want and all you have to do is give me the fuckin' hat!" I notice Twilight actually recoil at that and stares at Rainbow.
"Hmmmmmmmmm." She puts a hoof on her chin as if she was thinking hard about my offer.
She pauses looking at me as I feel a bead of sweat drop down my forehead waiting for an answer.
"Nah!" She drops the hat into the flame and it bursts into flames immediately.
"NOOO!" I scream as I sprint over, but the job is done.
The cap slowly gets eaten by the fire till nothing is left but ash. The last piece of it I notice before it disappears entirely is the letter B that was embroidered upon the front making memories scream at me.
"That was so much fun, Charlie! Can we come back again!" A small boy with messy brown hair bounces up and down while messily eating a hot dog.
"Sure thing, buddy! But don't forget to thank Billy here," I feel my arm go around the redhead and give him a noogie. "We wouldn't have been able to go if he didn't snatch those tickets like he did."
"Get off me ya lug!" Bill says in good humor and laughs a little, "It was no problem, squirt! I'm sure we can make something work to see the game next week. C'mon, let's go, I want to beat the traffic now that the games over."
As we walk away from our seats and deeper into the stadium, we pass a gift shop filled to the brim with people waltzing around, looking at the knick-knacks. I notice a rack by the entrance adorned with baseball memorabilia, but in particular some hats lying about. I look down at the kid seeing his hair and an idea hits me. The store was so busy that no one noticed me swipe one as we walked past no one none the wiser of the crime.
I place it on the kid's head hiding the disaster known as his hair making him yelp and he looks up at me.
"It's a shame they lost but at least you had fun, Wally…"
"Thank you, Charlie! You're the best!" The boy gleams up at me adjusting the oh so familiar red cap.
The letter B follows the rest of the hat and it too was swallowed by the flame as it now holds the same significance as that day at the ballpark.
A memory.
"Oh, yeah! Did you see the way it just lit up?" Rainbow Dash exclaims and laughs at me. "You should see the look on your face right now. Priceless!"
I slowly turn to stare at the mare and she is sporting the biggest shit eating grin watching me slowly lose myself in emotion. My breathing starts getting heavier and I turn towards her taking a step. My hands clench as a feeling I've known my whole life starts to take me and my hand goes numb as I take another step. Rainbow's smile droops a little watching my body language and takes a small cautious small step back.
"Y-you…" I stammer as my chest begins to tighten and a small amount of pain shoots up my arm.
"I'll FUCKING KILL YO-"
Is the last thing I remember screaming before the darkness takes me.