I

The cold, silver key turned in the lock without any resistance and the door swung open to reveal a dark and empty living room. Lieutenant Commander Steve McGarrett sighed loudly and turned on the lamp on the table just inside the door.

To come home to an empty house never used to bother him, but the last couple of weeks he took longer every day to leave work and go home. The house did no longer offer him any solitude and the silence held no appeal, not even after spending an entire day in the car with Danny talking his ear off. Instead, it taunted him and served as a constant reminder of better and easier times.

Steve walked through the house towards the kitchen. He didn't bother to turn on any of the other lights as he went by, he knew the layout of the house like the back of his hand, and he easily navigated his way through the darkness. The kitchen was just as empty and dark as the rest of the house. When he opened the fridge to grab a beer, he was almost blinded by the bright light inside. He twisted off the cap and threw it aimlessly somewhere in the distance, not caring where it ended up.

The cool liquid didn't bring him the usual sense of relief as it ran down his throat. Just like so many other things had failed to do lately. Nothing felt the same or as good as it once did. Yet nothing had changed. It was the same house, the one he had grown up in. It was the same brand of beer, the kind he always bought. A couple of weeks shouldn't be able to erase the habits of a lifetime and yet it had to the degree that he was still incapable of returning to status quo after five weeks of trying. Mocking the game commentary wasn't nearly as fun to do on your own. To cook dinner for one now seemed like a waste of time. Even his morning workouts was a drag these days.

Today he managed to set a new record for himself by not leaving the office until 10.30 pm. He never left that late unless the team was wrapped up in the middle of a case. But the Commander was in deep need of a distraction. Otherwise, he might end up doing something reckless or detrimental that he would later come to regret.

This morning on his way to the bathroom Steve stumbled over the edge of a trunk that stuck out from beneath the bed and spilled out its content all over the floor. None of the items belonged to him and his mind had immediately gone to their owner. Hazelnut eyes along with a warm dimpled smile. The knot the size of Texas that resided inside his stomach had made itself known again and stayed with him throughout the day.

Steve pulled out his phone from his pocket and brought the screen to life. No missed calls. No new messages. Nothing. He dropped it onto the counter and started to pace around the kitchen while sipping his beer and contemplating what to do. It wouldn't change anything if he called. This time wouldn't be any different from the other twenty or so times he has called over the last couple of weeks. But that nagging notion wouldn't go away. What if this time could have been different and he would never know because he never called?

Before he had the chance to talk himself out of it again, he turned back to the counter, picked up his phone and pressed the number. One hollow dial tone after another rang in his ear. As the number of tones increased, Steve grew more and more agitated. Then the automatic voicemail set in, and the bitter taste of disappointment filled his mouth.

"Hey, it's me again." Steve cursed at how silly it sounded, even to his own ears.

He was so out of his depth it wasn't funny. Danny was right when he said that Steve had problems communicating, especially when it came to feelings. But lately he had found that he did not mind them as much, even though he wasn't more comfortable than before.

"I really wish you would answer my calls. This is… I don't- I'm worried about you. Would you please tell me what is going on? At least tell me that you are alright?!" he sighed loudly and started to walk around the entire house, going from one room to another as he spoke. "What I'm trying to say is that I miss you, and that I miss talking to you. I just want to hear your voice. Call me, please!"

Steve hung up the phone. He now found himself in his bedroom. In front of him was the big double bed with the crisp and ridiculously expensive sheets that he had been tricked into buying. One side was untouched. The other side still held the imprint his body made last night.

He might as well go to bed and have the day be over and done. Allow sleep to swallow him up and make him forget about his troubles. He shrugged of his clothes and placed his phone on its usual place on the nightstand before he crawled under the rumbled sheets. Demonstratively he turned his back to the empty side of the bed and faced the wall instead. If he didn't see it, maybe he would not feel so lonely.

Less than thirty seconds later the phone went off on the nightstand and pierced the silence. Steve contemplated to just ignore it. It wouldn't be her anyway, there was no reason to be eager. He would only end up disappointed again. There had been no contact for weeks. The unanswered phone call a few minutes ago did not give Steve much hope of that changing anytime soon. Still the temptation proved too strong. He reached for the phone anyway.

I'm sorry, Steve. I really am.

Steve frowned. Her message left him both dumbfounded and confused. Why was she sorry? For worrying him? Or was his instinct correct in thinking she had gotten herself mixed up with something she shouldn't?

Steve felt like screaming or punching a hole or two in a wall. He was up for anything that could help and relieve the immense pressure that resided inside his chest. How had they ended up here? Less than five hours ago Steve drove towards the arena where a volleyball coach had been found dead. An hour ago, nothing had transpired to suggest the case was anything but an ordinary homicide investigation. The current situation however was anything but.

Kono sat behind the wheel of the car with her hands raised into the air in front of her. Her eyes pointedly stared out the windshield, not acknowledging their presence. Every member of the team had their guns pointed at her, including Steve.

"Get out of the car Kono!" Steve yelled. It took quite the effort to keep his voice and gun steady.

Everything about the current situation made him feel uneasy. Kono in the vicinity of guns generally made him want to act like a caveman, on a good day. Never in a million years did he imagine that he would be the one to point one at her. Steve wanted nothing more than to grab her and run. But he didn't.

Instead of escaping the nightmare he found himself, he stood by and watched as Kono obeyed to his command and got out of the car slowly. Lori immediately walked up to Kono, without hesitation she pulled out a pair of cuffs and attached them to Kono's wrists.

Steve lowered his gun and put it back in the holster at his hip with great difficulty. When he looked at his hands, they were shaking from the adrenaline that surged through his body. That had not happened to him since the first couple of months of his first deployment overseas. After everything he had seen and been through in his life, not much could rattle him anymore and certainly not to that degree.

Lori moved Kono to the backseat of her car and the tight hold around Steve's lungs increased. Kono was being treated as a common criminal. And not just by anyone, but by them, her own team. Yet he did nothing to prevent it from happening. He stood by and watched as it all happened. The oatmeal he ate for breakfast this morning threatened to make a reappearance as his insides churned.

He walked back towards his car and tore out of there at high speed. He didn't notice his partner in the rear-view mirror, arms thrown out in frustration. Danny was the last thing on his mind. His soul focus lay on being the first one to arrive back at the palace. He was the boss. It was his domain. If he was there waiting when the others returned, Steve figured he could take back the control over the situation. He could have everything planned out and ready to go. As soon as the others walked through the front doors he could set everything in motion while the others remained unprepared. So that is what he did.

By the time the others arrived, Steve awaited them inside the interrogation room. He stood with his feet wide apart, and his arms crossed against his chest. He watched as Lori and Chin led Kono into the room and over to the single chair. One more reluctantly than the other. They both turned to look at him, but he simply nodded towards the door for them to leave. He wanted to have this conversation with Kono alone.

The metal door clanged shut and Steve finally allowed himself to really look at Kono for the first time. She looked exhausted. Her eyes were weary and lacked their usual sparkle. Dark circles surrounded them, and her complexion was paler than he had ever seen before. It almost looked like she had given up, and if it wasn't for the fact that she refused to meet his eyes, Steve might have been inclined to believe that.

"Do you want to start, or shall I?" Steve opened and left his position by the wall. "Why have you been ignoring me for weeks?"

He knew he should be focusing on the job and find out about the dead body in her car, or what her connection to their murder investigation was. But with her finally in front of him, none of that mattered anymore. So, he went with the question which answer he craved the most.

Kono didn't answer. Instead, she starred steadfastly at the floor and her feet. Her avoidance of his eyes and the question infuriated Steve. He almost lost it right then and there. How could she be so unbothered by everything? By him? Steve wondered whether he had imagined the time they had spent together before everything at the palace had gone to hell. Or maybe he took it for more than it was.

"Okay, how about this then… What were you doing at Trisha Joiner's motel room? Or, why have you been spending time with corrupt ex-cops?"

Kono still refused to answer him. This time she kept her eyes locked on the wall next to his head. Steve felt his restraint slip a little more.

"Damn it, Kono!" Steve exclaimed. He slammed the palm of his hand against the concrete wall. The sound of the impact rang through the room. "This is serious! We caught you driving around town with a dead body in the passenger seat after we opened up fire on you today. You do not get to stay silent after that. I'm trying to help you, but I need you to tell me what is going on!"

His pleading did finally get a reaction out of Kono. Her eyes flickered up to meet his and he was floored by the desperation she displayed.

"I can't!" she bit out.

"I can't?! I can't, is not good enough!"

The door to the interrogation room flew open and slammed against the back wall with such force the clang made Steve winch. In came a man that Steve had seen on television before. With a shaved head, rounded features and dark eyes he swaned into the room as if he owned the place. He did not seem bothered at all that he was putting himself in the line of fire by interrupting Steve's interrogation. Chin stopped in the doorway and watched it all play out.

"You're done here, McGarrett! Come on Kono, get up!" the man spoke and grabbed Kono by the arm. "We're leaving."

"Fryer, what the hell are you doing here?! We're in the middle of an interrogation here."

"Not anymore you're not." Fryer started to steer Kono towards the door. "She's mine."

Steve's confusion only grew further at Fryer's words. Today had been like one long, never ending rollercoaster. The hits just kept on coming. By the time Steve had manage to recover from one, another one came out of the woodworks. To hear Fryer claim Kono was the last nudge he needed to fall over the edge.

"What do you mean she's yours?!" Steve growled.

How did that foul man dare to claim Kono as his?! Danny always accused him of being a caveman with neanderthal tendencies. Steve usually denied the claim, but he could not deny that his currents thoughts proved the man's point. If anyone where to claim Kono, it would be done by him and no one else.

Steve did not like that he did not know where they stood with one and other and that it wasn't his place to contest Fryer's claim. A month ago, he lay on his couch as he lazily watched a game on the television. Or pretending to watch, because he was more focused on Kono that rested in his arms than and touching Kono than he was on the actual game. They had spent the past four consecutive days at his place without any outside interference, which was rare for the team. Apart from staying in bed until almost noon and taking longer showers than the Navy would ever allow, they had joked around in the kitchen as they prepared meals together, went out and caught some waves in the backyard and simply spent time talking about everything between heaven and earth. Steve could not recall when he had last enjoyed time off like he had those four days.

Now he stood inside an interrogation room and didn't know if he was allowed to defend her, let alone claim her, while every instinctive bone in his body screamed at him to do so. Steve settled for giving Fryer the deadliest stare he could muster.

"She works for me." Fryer said with a self-satisfied smirk.

"Like hell she is!"

As soon as the words left his mouth, the events of the past month started to fall into place for Steve. Everything made total sense with Kono being undercover. It explained her behaviour towards them. It explained all the secrets and sneaking around. If stretched, it could also explain today's events as well. But while it answered a lot of questions, it also created several new ones. One question that remained and that bugged Steve immensely was why she had not said anything to him about what was happening. What made her feel that she couldn't come to him with this? Was it because she did not trust him? Or did she simply not care enough to deem him worthy of knowing?

The more Steve though about it, the angrier he got. Trust was essential to him and the one thing he valued above all else. He did not give his trust to anybody if they had not worked hard to earn it. Kono was someone he trusted wholeheartedly, and it hurt more than Steve wanted to admit that there was a chance it wasn't reciprocated.

"I need a minute alone with Kono."

Steve spoke in a quiet voice but there was no doubt for anyone in the room that he meant business. He was going to speak to Kono one on one, there was no point in arguing. Chin held the door open and motioned for Fryer to walk back out with him. The door closed behind them and the words like restraint and boundaries went out with them. Steve charged at Kono and backed her up against the wall.

"Is this why you have been ignoring me for weeks?! Fryer and his undercover assignment?!" the volume of his voice hadn't raised one bit, but all of the emotions shone through anyway. Kono felt the anger, the hurt, the confusion, and the frustration. She had to force herself to keep eye contact with Steve and not look down in shame. "I've been worried sick about you! So has Chin and Danny. Why didn't you come to us?! We could have helped you."

"It's not like that Steve, I promise! Please let me explain!"

"Explain what? That you don't trust me?" Steve exclaimed.

"Of course, I trust you!" Kono sounded affronted. "It's got nothing to do with trusting you!"

"Really? Because from where I am standing, every action you've taken lately shows just that."

"I did it to protect you!" Kono shouted out and shoved her hands against his chest with such force it made Steve take a few steps backwards. It was like a dam opened inside of her. The strain that the last couple of weeks had put on her came to the surface and spilled over. "I did it for you, Steve. I did it for Five-O."

"You stayed away from us, for us?!" Steve huffed in disbelief and started to pace around the interrogation room.

"Fryer came to me with a proposition for me to get my badge back. Then he proceeded to threaten to go after you and to go after Five-O if I didn't help him by going undercover." Kono slumped back against the wall. "For it to work I had to put myself out as dirty and I had to convince them that was being said on the news was true. I couldn't do all that while looking you in the eye. And I couldn't risk them finding out that I was still in contact with you, because if I truly was dirty, you would not be able to have anything to do with me. There was too much at stake for me to risk it."

Steve kept pacing around as he let Kono's words sink in. Did they change anything, wondered Steve. He came to the conclusion that they did. However, they did not necessarily make it easier to swallow, but for completely different reasons. Emotions like pride, guilt and fear began to mix with the boiling anger.

He spun around and charged at Kono again. This time he did not stop until their upper bodies were pressed up against one and other. Steve braced his arms on the wall on either side of her head and leaned in close. Her warm breath tickled the sensitive skin of his throat every few seconds. The scent that was so uniquely Kono filled his nostrils. It felt like he had gone to heaven and come home at the same time to be this close to her again. Clearly, he cared for her more than he realised. It only took him losing her to figure it out or allow himself to admit it.

"I don't know if I want to rip you out for being so reckless or kiss you for it." Steve spoke against Kono's hairline.

A visible ripple travelled through Kono's body and Steve relished in it. He knew it was because of him, which meant that he had not imagined the attraction between them at least.

"Steve…"

"You scared the hell out of me today." He interrupted. "You could have been killed."

"I'm fine though."

Kono tentatively wrapped her arms around Steve's waist and leaned into his embrace for a second before they were interrupted. The cellphone in Kono's backpocket went off and the ringtone echoed throughout the room. Kono knew who was on the other end of the line without a look at the caller-id.

"It's the Delano. I need to take it." She said and pulled back as far as she could with her back pressed up against the wall. Steve conceded and took a step backwards so she could manoeuvre freely.

"Who is this Delano anyway?" Steve asked, not familiar with the name.

"He's a dirty ex-cop." came Kono's answer and Steve froze.