The rest of Harry's birthday had been a blast, and even if he didn't like to celebrate it, he was glad he did. The only reason Harry didn't celebrate it was because he never got to before. Harry had explained it to Severus on their next date out to lunch. Harry was too young to remember his first birthday with his parents, and then until he was eleven, he got nothing from the Dursley's. The reason Hedwig had meant so much to Harry was because she was his first birthday present in ten years, one that Hagrid had gotten for him. Other birthdays, Harry just didn't care about because he always felt like something was going to go wrong. Plus, Harry was always at the Dursley's, and his uncle had refused to let him use Hedwig to send letters to friends.
Severus had asked why, after being out of the Dursley's, didn't he let his friends throw him a party and Harry explained that his life had never been easy and something always happened so eventually he just said screw it to birthdays. They didn't mean anything to him except the fact he was getting older. Severus supposed he understood, having dealt with similar that he too didn't celebrate his birthday much as a child, nor as a teenager, and even less as an adult. Lucius, Narcissa, and Draco usually took him out to dinner or had a little get together at the manor, and then when Severus was younger, he'd spend his birthday with Lily. It was agreed they both had similar lives and upbringings.
It was now September 6th, 2007. Harry and Severus had agreed that things seemed alright with them to start dating. Of course, neither one had said it to the other. The two still went on their dates, getting closer and closer as more came out about their lives to make them realize they had quite a bit in common. The two would talk about Lily too, Harry learning how talented his mother was and getting to see her through Severus's memories. Tonight, Harry and Severus were supposed to meet for dinner. Regretfully, Harry was just exhausted and felt he should cancel the outing. It had been busy at work, longer shifts and whatnot. Harry groaned as he pulled his wand and summoned his patronus to send a message to Severus.
Over at Severus's house, the potions master was in the middle of making notes to build a new potion when the Stag appeared before him.
"Hey, Sev. I know we had dinner plans tonight, but I think I'm going to have to pass and reschedule. I'm not feeling that good. I'm sorry. I'll make it up to you somehow. Talk to you soon."
Severus watched as the Stag faded away and he sat there contemplating what Harry told him. He didn't feel good? It was understandable if he was sick and needed to rest, but Severus wondered if he should go over and give Harry some potions to help? Maybe he could ask first. Drawing his wand, he called his patronus forward.
"It's quite alright, Harry, but I'll hold you to making it up to me. I'm sorry you're feeling unwell, do you need anything? Do you have potions to help?" Severus said and sent the Doe off to Harry.
It didn't take long to get a response, the Stag returned. "I've got muggle stuff. It'll suffice. I don't need anything, thank you though."
Severus rolled his eyes as he left his things where they were and started grabbing potions from his storage room and packing them into his to-go bag. Severus headed out of his house and walked over to Harry's, knowing that his wards would let him know who was there. Sure enough, as Severus stepped on the porch, the door opened to reveal a tired-looking Harry.
"You know as well as I that muggle medicine is pretty ineffective to us, Harry." Severus informed as he held up his potions bag.
"You didn't have to come all the way over, Severus." Harry told him.
"You act like it was far. I walked ten steps, it won't kill me." Severus remarked. "But I'm here, so let me in and I'll leave you a couple of home-brewed potions."
Harry laughed a little. The sentiment was sweet and he had wanted to see Severus today. He moved aside as Severus walked in and then Harry closed the door before the two walked to the living room together and took a seat on the couch.
"What are your symptoms, that way I can leave you the right things." Severus asked.
"Symptoms? Sev, I'm not sick." Harry told him.
"You said you were feeling unwell." Severus replied.
"I said I didn't feel that good." Harry repeated.
"Then you're sick?" Severus countered.
"Merlin. Severus, I'm not sick. I should have worded it better…" Harry sighed. "I'm sorry. I'm just exhausted. You know, low energy and no focus to do things." He explained. "But I'm not sick. No fever, chills, cough, nausea or any of that. Just tired."
"Trouble sleeping?" Severus inquired.
"A little." Harry admitted. "Work has been relentless. Early mornings, late nights. Long shifts in both office and field work." He added gently. "It's mostly every time I try to relax, something happens. Just as it's always been throughout my life."
"Perhaps you need to speak to your boss and rework how much you're working, Harry. It's not healthy to be running yourself to this state, and by extension, poor sleep can lead to becoming sick because your body isn't recuperating properly." Severus suggested.
"I know. But there's just…A big thing we're dealing with and I have to be involved." Harry told him.
"What's happening?" Severus questioned.
"I'm really not allowed to say," Harry admitted. "I'm sorry, Sev. I would if I could, and it will come out soon enough. For now, I can't."
"I understand, Harry. Believe me, I know better than anyone about keeping secrets for set reasons. But Harry…You're useless to help this matter resolve if you're not well rested. And you are not. You can't tackle this or think clearly when you're lacking sleep." Severus reminded. "You need to take care of yourself. I've got potions that can help you sleep."
"No. No sleeping draughts…I can't." Harry said quickly, sitting up.
"Why not, do you react badly to them? I can alter things to tailor it to you." Severus offered.
Harry shook his head. "I can't take them. I can't let it happen…I've been doing so good. They'll set me back, I'll relapse…No, I can't…Never again. I can't go through it again."
Severus eyed Harry carefully, not understanding what he was going on about, but could spot a panic attack beginning. "Hey, relax. It's alright. Just breathe." The younger male took a few breaths. "Harry…What aren't you telling me? What happened that you can't take sleeping draughts?"
Harry looked down, almost ashamed. "I…I wasn't okay after the war ended. It didn't really hit until after Ginny and I broke up. A lot of what everyone saw when they saw me was fake, a mask. I appeared fine, happy…I wasn't. I was a mess. I spent my nights in my old place drinking until I got sick, or passed out. I'd look through old albums of Sirius and Remus, some of mum and dad, end up breaking down. The nightmares were the worst, flashbacks. I tried regular draughts to sleep because I couldn't on my own." Harry told him. "When those didn't work, I switched to Peaceful, then Dreamless. I was using it all the time, using over the recommended amounts. I mixed it with alcohol a couple times." He paused. "And eventually, I just hit rock bottom. I went as far as using muggle drugs, drinking became constant."
"People started to notice, I pulled away. I'd lost all sense of time, missed work, and wasn't answering anyone when they called or wrote. Wouldn't let anyone in the flat. And…One time, in my drunken stupor…I grabbed Draught Of The Living Death instead of a sleeping potion." Severus tensed, but didn't interrupt Harry. "The next time I woke up, I was at the Burrow. I asked what happened, Ron told me I'd been out for weeks because it took a while to find the right counters to everything in my system. Hermione told me that Draco had found me at my flat. Apparently, he worked with Bill Weasley to break through my wards. They brought me to the Burrow and Draco is the one who brewed everything to counter what I'd taken, plus the antidote to wake me up." Harry continued.
"Once I'd recovered more, I found myself in an intervention. All the worrying for me, promised they were there, asking why I did it…I broke down and told them. Hermione and Ron were right there to hold me, promised we'd get through it together, like always. With Draco's help to get me unaddicted to everything, Ron and Hermione took me to a Mind Healer. It took a while, but I started to feel better…Stopped blaming myself for all the deaths, stopped believing I should have died. I began healing. Eventually, I was back to eating and sleeping right. Returned to work, hanging with friends…And here we are now." Harry told him gently.
"Your aversion to potions comes from what happened. And you're scared that taking sleeping draughts will get you addicted to them again?" Severus asked.
"One draught takes me right back, Sev. I tried once, before the move here…I followed the instructions to the letter, proper dose and all. It knocked me right out and the next day…I wanted more. I told Draco, he stayed the night to make sure I didn't do anything. The urge was gone after a couple days, but I decided then and there I wouldn't take another sleeping potion as long as I lived." Harry confessed.
"Understandable." Severus nodded. "But Harry…You can't keep going like you are. It will continue to drag you down, you will end up where you were if you don't get a handle on it now." He sighed. "If…If I had known you were suffering so much, I wouldn't have stayed hidden away here. I would have come back to help you get through it…" Severus admitted.
"It wasn't your job to protect me anymore. You did more than enough than having to hang around while I left myself self-destruct." The potions master adjusted to lean back slightly and put an arm around Harry, then pulled him closer to lean against his figure. At this point, they were kind of cuddling and neither one of them seemed to mind.
"You were never a job to me, Harry. Above Dumbledore making me promise to keep you safe from Voldemort when he returned, I had vowed to you mother I would take care of you the night I found her dead." Severus mentioned. "You carried the heaviest burden, it was to be expected you wouldn't be alright when everything finally slowed down and returned to normal after the war. I shouldn't have just left. I should have left you a way to contact me if it became too much. I could have helped you recover…"
"Severus, even if you had left me a way to reach out…I didn't even tell my best friends. No one knew, Severus. And what happened to me was kept quiet to those who were involved and who needed to know. Like my boss, and Kingsley…" Harry told him. "Don't beat yourself up. I wouldn't let the others do it, I won't let you. If it's any consolation, you being here right now is helping."
"Is it?" Severus inquired.
Harry nodded. "Things have been…Easier since we ran into one another and started meeting up for drinks. I don't quite understand it, but…Being around you helps. I don't know if it's just your presence and knowing you've always kept me safe so I get that…Protective feel when you're around. Or if it's what Draco told us, that we balance each other out." He paused. "I'm…Comfortable around you. I can relax…" He yawned.
"Rest now." Severus told him. "I am here, you are safe. So rest, you need it."
Harry smiled as he snuggled closer and drifted off to sleep. Severus stayed awake, holding Harry for a while before using his wand to dim the lights and called on his elf to make him something easy for dinner. But true to his word, Severus didn't leave Harry's side while he slept and eventually, Severus too fell asleep after pulling a blanket over them.
. . .
When the next morning came, Harry woke slowly to the feel of his wards shifting and that someone came through the fireplace after a loud, "What the hell?" was spoken. As Harry cracked an eye open, he saw Draco standing there.
Harry quickly lifted his head off Severus's chest and eyed his friend firmly. "What are you doing here?" The shifting abruptly woke Severus as he was about to ask what was happening, he noticed his godson's presence standing in the main room.
"My job as your partner and checking in because it's almost 10:30 am and you haven't appeared at work yet. Robarbs was concerned, so he sent me to make sure you didn't do something stupid again." Draco put his hands on his hips. "And what do I find, you're sleeping in because you and my godfather clearly had a good night."
"Now, wait a second…Hang on." Harry remarked. "Nothing happened between Severus and I last night."
"I came over because Harry told me he didn't feel good, and I had asked him if he needed any potions, he told me he had muggle meds. I came over with some potions for him, and we talked a bit about the fact he wasn't sick, but exhausted. Somewhere in that, he fell asleep against me." Severus informed. "I didn't want to wake him, so I just laid back and stayed here. Nothing happened of the nature you are assuming."
"Oh. Well, sorry…" Draco stated. "You look like shit, Harry."
"I just woke up." Harry countered.
"No, you're run down." Draco scoffed. "Stay home the rest of the week and recover. I'll tell Robarbs you're sick, and don't you dare argue with me. We will not be having a repeat of last time or I swear to Merlin, Potter, I will lock you down at the manor to keep an eye on you. I gotta get back, you stay here and relax. I'll check in later." He turned and entered the fireplace, then called his destination to return to the ministry.
"Didn't think I'd live to see the day where Draco was that protective over you." Severus commented.
"It's because of what happened, I told you last night…" Harry mumbled as he forced himself to get off the couch and stretch. "When we started training together to become aurors, we agreed to put our old rivalry that started in school to rest. After Ron left the aurors to help his brother with the joke shop, Draco and I got closer. Over time, we ended up friends and watched each other's backs. And like I told you, he's the one who found me basically dead. We've been close like brothers since then." He explained to Severus.
"All your friends are worried about you." Severus mentioned.
"How do you mean?" Harry asked.
"Your birthday party, Draco came over to my house to invite me, and mentioned the party being a surprise when I asked him why he didn't just tell you why he wanted you over for dinner that night. Draco said Ronald and Hermione warned him you never celebrated your birthday and they didn't know why. Draco mentioned all of them being concerned that you were getting distant and quiet since moving to Godric's Hollow." Severus revealed.
"I suppose I get his concern when I didn't show up for work…I didn't think I'd sleep as long as I did." Harry admitted.
"Well, you were exhausted." Severus reminded. "You obviously needed it."
"I'm sorry I kept you here all night." Harry glanced down a little bashfully. "You could have just left me on the couch and gone home."
"You said it was helping, things were easier with me around because you were comfortable with me, and could relax. I told you to rest and you knocked out." Severus reminded. "I didn't mind staying, and I fell asleep not long after. It was quite enjoyable. Truthfully, the amount of time I stayed up while you slept gave me time to think. I believe what Draco said is correct. We balance one another and…I believe that we do make a good match and the only reason we haven't made things official yet is because we're both scared it could ruin what we already have."
"I…Guess I could agree with that. But I also think that if we're about to have this conversation after weeks or months of dancing around the subject, we should have it after freshening up and breakfast." Harry stated.
"Yes, I do believe that wise," Severus nodded. "So we'll meet after breakfast?"
"Sounds good. Do you want to come back here, or should I come over there?" Harry inquired.
"I don't think you've been in my house yet, so why don't you come to me." Severus suggested as he got up, facing Harry.
"Alright. I'll see you in a bit then?" Harry stated.
"Of course," Severus replied.
They were just standing there for a moment, staring at one another. The two stepped closer and ended up pressed closely before leaning in and sharing a passionate kiss. It was deep and their arms wrapped around one another, and they started to make out a little. It went on for a few moments before they finally broke the action and had their foreheads pressed together with closed eyes.
"I definitely would like to do that again, but I feel it should wait until we've…Properly worked things out between us." Severus said.
"Yes, definitely." Harry nodded slightly before pulling back some to look at Severus. "Meet you in an hour?"
"An hour it is." Severus agreed.
The two stepped away from one another, and Severus saw himself out of the house as Harry all but shuddered at the feeling rushing through him after that kiss. It wasn't like anything he'd ever felt before, it set his body on fire and Dear Merlin, it hadn't taken anything to get him aroused. Harry finally willed his body to move from its place and he went upstairs into his room to grab a change of clothes, then get into the bathroom. An hour later, Harry found himself on Severus's front step and knocking on the door. A moment or two later, Severus was standing in front of him with a small smile.
"Please, come in." Severus invited as he stepped aside and let Harry walk inside. The door was closed afterward. "Welcome to my abode." He said calmly. "I know you've never been here before, so thought before we sat down to talk I could give you a tour." He added.
"I'll admit I've been curious since I learned we were neighbors." Harry responded.
"Well, allow me to cure your curiosity then," Severus then led Harry though the house.
From the front door, there was a garage on the right and that's where Severus built his potions lab, as well as storing finished potions and ingredients there. On the left was a bedroom, which seemingly was an extra but Harry guessed that had been the room Draco called his own from that night of drinking. Just a bit further up on the left was the main bathroom, and then there was another spare room that Severus called his library and office. Moving forward welcomed the main space. Living room and kitchen, plus a small reading nook where the backyard sliding doors were. Then over to the right was the master bedroom, which had the master bathroom as well.
The two ended up in the living room and sitting together on the couch once Severus had got them drinks to talk over. Severus had his tea, Harry just went with water as he'd already had coffee with his late breakfast. It was quiet, neither of them knowing exactly how to start this conversation.
"If we're to do this, Harry, I want to start by assuring you that in no way are my feelings or attraction to you based on anything to do with my past regarding your mother." Severus spoke.
"I didn't assume such a thing, but I appreciate you wanting to assure me of it." Harry responded.
"Well, I know that when I believed I was dying…The last thing I had said to you was that you have your mother's eyes. Then I survived thanks to you, and the last time I saw you until we met again at the cemetery in January. One of the things you mentioned to Draco and I that night around the fire was that you hated being compared to your parents. I too had always made remarks that you were just like your father. And I made a comment about your eyes." Severus explained.
"Okay, I suppose I see why you'd worry I might believe this isn't genuine." Harry nodded. "But if I can ease your concerns on the matter," He paused for a moment. "The reason we work is because I'm like her. We work because the friend you found in her still exists in me. Not in the sense that she is still alive through me, but the fact that the friend you made in her is the same kind of friend you made in me because you recognize the same nature she had in me." He explained.
"That's why we're such good friends, we have the same kind of friendship you had with my mum." Harry began again. "It makes you happy, you lowered your walls. Since this began, I never worried you were only close to me because of your history with my mum. Like I said, we work because the same kind of friendship is there. Because we had similar pasts with abuse, being bullied." He mentioned. "And we also have something that you and mum didn't."
"What would that be?" Severus wondered.
"You like me and it's not one-sided." Harry smiled.
"I do suppose that's an upside." Severus agreed. "Makes things go smoother if there are mutual feelings."
"But the real question is how deep do the feelings run?" Harry asked.
"I believe we're past crushing, more than just like but not quite love either." Severus replied. "We started a non-formal relationship just to see how things would go between us and also get to know one another on a more personal level." He reminded. "I would say that we can agree it's possible without restrictions as a couple, feelings could develop more,"
"I would agree to that." Harry nodded. "With all that worked out, do you feel we should make things between us official? Start a relationship, be a couple?"
"I personally feel that we inadvertently already made things official between us. At some point or another, it didn't feel like we were testing the waters anymore." Severus admitted.
"Well, glad I'm not the only one who felt that way." Harry replied. "But still, we've kept it quiet about us. I think if we're agreeing that we've become a couple, we should make it known. I know it will be a rather unpopular opinion, but I don't really care either."
"I've lived my entire life being judged by others, it's never stopped me. It won't now." Severus stated. "Perhaps we can just tell family and friends. The rest of the wizarding world will find out on their own. I don't expect you to go to the paper with it for a public announcement."
"Definitely not." Harry shook his head. "But once it gets out, you know how people will react."
"And I still won't care what people think of my decisions." Severus assured.
"Neither will I, I just don't want anyone attacking you over it." Harry sighed.
"I can defend myself." Severus promised. "Don't worry about me."
"I have to." Harry shrugged. "I've had ex-lovers who left because of angry, jealous people who wanted me for themselves. They'd leave because it was too much trouble to have such a famous boyfriend. Then there were the few who left because of how messed up I was after the war, too much baggage."
"Harry, I will be honest with you, I've never been in a relationship before. I've had one-night stands. But I do promise that I made this decision to be with you, Harry, so I'm not going to let anyone influence that choice. If I leave, it's because we mutually break up because things aren't working. Or if you're disloyal, that's another reason. But I know you cherish what you have, so I don't see that being a problem." Severus remarked.
"Certainly not." Harry responded.
"I know you're scared to date again given past relationships, but I'm not them. I'm older, wiser, and already have everything I could ever want out of life except someone to share it with. I'm not with you for the fame, the money, or anything else you have. Harry, I'm not going to leave just because people don't like us together or the fact you suffer PTSD from the war." Severus told him firmly. "I am with you because I want you. Because I like you and I truly believe that there's something between us worth seeing not just where it goes, but how far too." He added.
"I don't know if Draco was right about us. I really don't, but…I want to find out. I'm scared as hell, but I want to know." Harry said.
Severus took Harry's hand. "Then we'll take the journey together and find out if my godson has some ancient mystic power of matchmaking."
Harry couldn't help but laugh as he intertwined his fingers with Severus's. "I suppose we shall then."
"We shall." Severus nodded.
"We need to tell our friends." Harry reminded.
"We will. I think we can give it a couple days to enjoy the relationship," Severus suggested.
"Besides…I'm supposed to be resting the rest of the week, home sick, remember?" Harry grinned. "I think it would be better to make it seem like we got closer than friends while I was sick and you were over to take care of me…"
"Oh. Oh, that's quite devious, Mr. Potter. I do believe your Slytherin side just made itself known, and my is it arousing." Severus admitted.
"Hm, so was that kiss earlier." Harry remarked.
"Was it? I think maybe we should do it again. I might have missed it in the excitement that I finally got to kiss you." Severus informed.
"Happy to do it again…But just so you know, I have one rule in new relationships." Harry mentioned.
"What's that?" Severus asked.
"No sex, at least, not right away." Harry told him. "It's just a thing I have about not rushing into that. I've made it a point to inform the person I'm currently with, at the beginning of the relationship, about it. I'm fine with sex, just not right off the bat…I like giving it a couple months."
"That's perfectly understandable. I dread thinking how many of your previous female partners wanted to jump in just to baby-trap you." Severus remarked. Harry shivered at the thought because it had absolutely been something he had to protect himself from. "But on the subject of your rule, that's fine. I quite respect the fact you prefer to wait and see how things go before engaging in something that is supposed to be considered an enjoyable bonus of a relationship." He stated. "You've nothing to worry about from me in that area. I'm a man who respects boundaries, so I assure that we won't be doing that until you either tell me or hint that it's what you want to do." He promised.
"I appreciate it." Harry smiled.
"But out of curiosity…You said no sex right away, do you have limitations on foreplay as well?" Severus inquired.
Harry laughed a bit. "I still consider it a prelude to sex, but…If the moment is just too much to bear, I might give in with a bit of persuasion." He winked.
"Oh? I can be persuasive." Severus grinned.
"Of this, I have no doubts." Harry chuckled before Severus leaned in and captured his lips. Harry melted into the action almost instantly.
. . .
Word spread quickly that Harry Potter was dating Severus Snape. It hadn't taken long for someone to have snapped a shot of them walking together in the park, hand in hand, then sharing a short kiss. Needless to say, it made the front page of every wizarding paper the next morning. It was to be expected someone would have seen them, but the problem had been that this occurred a day before Harry and Severus were going to tell their friends. So they found out via the paper, and mostly bombarded Harry for answers. Draco acted like a proud father at the information, grinning ear to ear and saying he called it back in June that Harry and Severus were perfect for one another. Lucius and Narcissa were surprised, but supportive. The scolding Severus got was from Minerva McGonagall about the matter, but at the end, she warned him not to hurt Harry and wished them the best.
Harry, of course, had to deal with his friends and there were mixed feelings about him dating the potions master. Neville was shocked, but didn't care as long as Harry was happy. Luna immediately wished them well. Dean, Seamus, and Hannah didn't really have a comment to make, but agreed with Neville that if Harry found happiness in Snape, then as his friends, they should support his choice. Ron and Hermione were the hard ones, bringing up the past. However, Harry made it clear to them that Severus had always been a constant in his life. Severus always treated him like a normal person, and had always protected him. That Severus wasn't interested in him for his fame. That they had really gotten to know one another as regular people, built a friendship and feelings developed through it. Harry even admitted that things were starting to pile up again, and he almost slipped back into old habits from stress.
But Severus noticed and managed to find a way to keep Harry distracted and relaxed with their weekly bar nights. Harry brought up that since he and Severus began to talk and hangout, Harry felt better. Things were easier. By the end of it, Harry reminded them that they didn't know Severus like he did and not to judge him. Harry said he was happy, and regardless of who he was happy with, they should be happy for him. Harry ended up leaving the Burrow after that and went home. Severus already seemed to know something was up, so he went over with some of Harry's favorite snacks to make sure he was alright. Harry told him how Ron and Hermione reacted, that it hurt. So Severus just stayed with Harry, holding him. Ron and Hermione did come by later to see the scene of Severus comforting Harry, and they apologized profusely for their reactions.
All was forgiven after that. Harry spent the rest of the night with Severus, relaxing. It was now November 2007, Severus and Harry were doing great together and it wasn't all that different from when they hadn't been officially dating. The two still worked their jobs, lived in their own places, and saw one another to spend time. At least, once every two weeks. Harry and Severus also kept in contact via patronus message; it was faster than sending a letter next door. Other times, they chose not to go into public and just relaxed at each other's houses. One of their more recent trips had been a stroll through town back on Halloween, and of course, made the stop at the cemetery. After all, it had been the marker of when James and Lily were killed by Voldemort, and also the night Harry became the boy who lived. Currently, it was mid-November and a Friday. Severus had been outside checking his garden, which was protected from the cold weather by being placed in a transfigured greenhouse enchanted with a warming charm.
Severus noticed right away when Harry got home, but happened to pick up that his boyfriend didn't seem too happy. Severus went over to the fence and leaned on it.
"Harry? Are you alright?" The man asked gently.
Harry jumped slightly when Severus spoke. "Don't scare me like that, Sev…"
"My apologies," Severus stated. "I didn't mean to startle you."
"It's alright. I shouldn't have been lost in my own world…I know better as an auror to watch everything around me." Harry sighed as he'd walked over to the fence now and stood before Severus.
"Everything okay?" Severus repeated.
"I just have a lot on my mind." Harry told him.
"Anything you want to talk about? Maybe I can help?" Severus offered.
"It's not really anything of that kind of nature, but if you want to give me half an hour to shower and change clothes, you can come over for dinner and I'll tell you." Harry invited.
"Then I shall be over in thirty minutes." Severus nodded.
Harry smiled at him. "If I don't answer the door right away, you can just come in. I believe I told you the password to bypass the door wards?"
"You did." Severus replied. "That and floo,"
"You can floo over too if ya like." Harry agreed.
"I'll go over my many options of entry into your home before the thirty minutes ends." Severus stated as Harry giggled a bit and they shared a small kiss.
"I'll see you soon," Harry backed away from the fence and headed over to his house before going inside through the back porch door.
Severus quickly finished the work he was doing in the garden, then got into his own home to take a rinse and dress in something more casual. He'd been brewing at work before gardening and never changed out of his clothes. When the thirty minutes came to an end, Severus chose to just floo over after informing his elf he wouldn't be home for dinner. Arriving in Harry's main room, he chose to just sit down on the couch and Harry came down the stairs about five minutes later in a basic, light, long-sleeve shirt and sweatpants.
"Sorry if you've been waiting a while. Robarbs called looking for a case report I filled out that I accidentally brought home." Harry informed.
"My assistant has done that with my sales reports for the muggle part of my shop." Severus chuckled.
"This file got knocked into my pile of things that come home with me. I didn't even realize it until he called and asked if I left it locked in my desk or something." Harry mumbled.
"No harm done as long as it was found." Severus told him. "And I haven't been waiting long. Five or so minutes. Don't worry, Harry. I'm not going to go Professor Snape mode on you and deduct points if you're not where you said you'd be at the time you said you'd be there." He joked.
"I know, but I'd like to think I've gotten pretty good at arriving on time for set things." Harry shrugged. "You want to wait there or come to the kitchen island while I cook?" Severus got up and sat at the island spot while Harry grabbed them both a drink before beginning to get things out to cook for the meal.
"So which of your delicacies are we enjoying this evening?" Severus asked.
"Not guaranteeing a delicacy, but it'll be edible." Harry told him. "I only do those kinds of dinners with proper planning that people are coming over. Nights I eat here alone, I eat whatever is quickest to cook or might last a couple days. Like, spaghetti and meatballs." He informed. "I can still be quite lazy when I'm not entertaining guests."
"I'm not going to judge. I have an elf doing all my housework," Severus reminded. "You, I assume, do everything on your own?"
Harry nodded. "I don't even do magic to clean. It's not as satisfying. Besides, I grew up without magic doing all that kind of stuff. It's really not that hard." He shrugged. "Now and then, I'll be lazy and magic-fold the clothes. Everyone I know hates laundry. I don't mind washing and drying it, but God, I hate folding and putting it away."
"I feel many share your sentiments." Severus agreed.
The two continued to talk casually while Harry cooked some kind of pasta dish for dinner. Severus wasn't entirely sure, but he knew Harry could cook fine and figured the meal would be good. The talking was about whatever came up, usually one topic leading into another. Eventually, dinner was cooked and served while the males ate peacefully and kept up their conversation. When the meal was drawing to a close, Severus decided to ask why Harry was so lost in thought before. It was originally why Harry invited him over to discuss.
"So, what had you all lost in thought earlier?" Severus inquired. "You mentioned having a lot on your mind."
"Work stuff," Harry told him calmly. "There's that thing going on I'm involved in that I can't tell you about," He paused. "But as there isn't much I can do with that until decisions are made by others…The thing on my mind is that I got pulled into a meeting as I was leaving the office today, with Robarbs and Kingsley. Apparently, I'm being considered for promotion." Harry revealed.
"That's great, Harry. Promoted to what?" Severus smiled.
"Head of the Auror Office." Harry replied.
"Harry, that's a major promotion. I'm proud of you, as I'm sure your parents, godfather, and uncle would be too." Severus stated. "Why don't you seem happy about it? That's a big achievement in your career."
"I'm happy that my work has paid off to be promoted, but as you just said, it's a major promotion." Harry repeated softly. "It's not just…New title and raise. It's more responsibility, workload."
"But I'm sure they wouldn't promote you if they didn't think you could do it, Harry." Severus offered.
"I haven't been promoted yet, Sev. The meeting was to inform me that Robarbs will be retiring in January, after the first of the year and they wanted me to take his place as their first pick of replacement for the job. I told them I had to think about it." Harry said.
"When do they want your answer?" Severus asked.
"End of November, so they can make the announcement at the Ministry's annual gala." Harry responded.
"Why are you hesitating? You'd be the youngest ministry department head on record, Harry. It's big." Severus mentioned.
"The workload. The responsibility. The attention. The longer hours…As you put it, this isn't a small promotion." Harry replied.
"I'm sure you could find a way to make the job work for you, in a way that doesn't overwork you. Harry, you'd be head of the Auror Department. You'd be in Robarb's place, and I'm sure that when he took over, it was taxing until he found something that suits him." Severus stated. "What is he working for hours right now?"
"I think he works from 7 am to 4 or 5 pm." Harry replied. "But still, it's a very involved job. If…Something big were to go down, I'd get called back in. It's more office work than anything else and I kinda like working in the field. It's why I chose this job. I like tracking down dark wizards and bringing them in."
"Does being head of the office mean you absolutely can't go on field work anymore?" Severus inquired.
"I mean…I've never seen Robarbs go on missions in the last nine years that I've been there." Harry replied.
"Well, maybe that's just his choice not to, Harry. Robarbs is still an auror, isn't he? Just because he's head of the auror office means he stopped being an auror. He's just…The one in charge of it all." Severus reminded. "Perhaps the way you do things is that you run the division but you continue the work you love doing?" He suggested.
"I never really asked, I was surprised by the offer." Harry admitted. "But still, it's a lot of work. I barely have time now with what I do to relax, see friends, spend time with you."
"But that's because you're set on the hours you work by your boss." Severus told him. "Unless meetings or maybe extended cases. But as head of the office, Harry, I feel like you are in charge of when you work. As long as everything is getting done, and dark wizards aren't running free, what's the big deal if you go in at 8 am and come home at 3 pm? I assume as long as you are available for possible emergencies, then who is going to care?" He mentioned.
"I'm sure your friends, and certainly, myself, would understand if you got called away because…For example, a team returned and people got hurt. Or you yourself got called in as the backup. We wouldn't hold it against you if you had to rush off to do your job." Harry still seemed uncertain. "Would you hold it against me if we were meeting for lunch and I had to leave because of an emergency at my shop?" Severus asked.
"Of course not. You love owning your own shop, catering to the needs and wants of muggles and magic folk. It's what you always wanted to do and couldn't do because of the war." Harry responded.
"Would you get upset if Ron had to rush away because of something happening at the joke shop? Or Draco if perhaps his son was hurt or sick?" Severus continued.
"No. I know things happen out of-," Harry began.
"Our control." Severus nodded. "Yes, Harry. That's exactly my point. Things happen that we don't plan for. Things come up that we can't push off and ignore. Things we have to take care of. You wouldn't get upset with me or any of your friends if something came up we had to handle. So don't believe that we'd get upset if you have to rush off because of something happening at work, especially with the kind of work you do." He paused.
"And Harry, it's the same as you told me. You love being an auror, despite the fact you spent your childhood fighting against the most dangerous dark wizard this world has ever known. Voldemort. You stayed in the same work because you take joy in knowing you are doing something that keeps our world safe. Keeps the peace." Severus informed. "You love the work you do, it's what you always wanted to do since you learned what aurors are and what they do. And you worked your butt off in school to be able to get accepted into the program. You earned this, Harry. To become an auror and now, to be considered for promotion. You earned this on your own exceptional abilities. Take it."
"I just don't know, Sev. I know all that should reassure me, but-." Harry paused, looking uncertain.
"Why are you doubting yourself?" Severus questioned. "You just said it. Everything said should be assuring, but it's not. You're doubting what was spoken, meaning you doubt yourself."
"Because I don't think all I did was exceptional. Every year was some kind of big situation where I uncovered something major, ended up in a fight, nearly been killed…" Harry replied.
"But you survived, Harry. I've told you before, you fought for this life. You faced death to stop Voldemort. And you've spent your last nine years as an auror working to bring down the death eaters that got away, or anyone else aspiring to be the next Voldemort. You've revolutionized the department, I've seen the headlines about the work you've done." Severus told him. "Aside from all that, you did work your behind off in school. You did good throughout the years, even with all the stuff you had to deal with. The stone, the chamber, Sirius being innocent, the tournament, Umbridge, Dumbledore's death, foregoing your final year for the horcrux hunt." Severus gave that a moment. "You did well enough to get into NEWT potions." He added.
"Only because Slughorn took over and accepted students with Exceeds Expectations. If it had been you, I wouldn't have." Harry reminded.
"I had been considering allowing it." Severus remarked. "Not many scored Outstanding in Potions in order to move up after OWLs. Draco, Granger, and a few others. I'm sure you didn't do horrible on your OWLs, right?"
"My only Outstanding was Defense Against the Dark Arts. I failed Divination and History of Magic. Acceptable for Astronomy. Everything else exceeded expectations." Harry recalled.
"That's still very good, Harry." Severus told him. "Divination was just an extra class anyway and History of Magic, it could have used some updating. It was a boring class. I'd ask about your NEWT scores, but I know you didn't take your final exams in seventh year. You weren't there for it, nor did you return as Granger did."
"I took them." Harry stated.
"Took what?" Severus asked.
"NEWTs." Harry clarified. "I took them through the ministry waiting for auror training to start. There had been like, a month or two grace period of waiting for people to accept the offer of joining if they were of age and took part in the battle, plus then anyone who actually had submitted to join the force after taking their NEWTs that year. I think Draco did too. I knew it wasn't required, but I guess I wanted to see how I'd do and say that I took them regardless. A feeling of…Finishing school, I guess."
"Nothing wrong with that. How did you do on them?" Severus wondered.
"Outstanding and Exceeds Expectations for just about everything. Went from Dreadful to Acceptable for History of Magic. Kept the Acceptable for Astronomy. Divination was Poor, I think." Harry thought back on when he got his scores.
"How many did you take?" Severus inquired.
"The required ones along with Care of Magical Creatures, Divination, Muggle Studies. I never even took that class, but hey…I grew up as a muggle so that was actually the easiest to pass." Harry shrugged. "Oh, and Ancient Runes. Another shot in the dark, but Hermione had taken it and was always talking about it. When I'd get bored, I used to grab her textbook and read it." He added.
"How'd you do on Potions, forgive my curiosity?" Severus grinned.
"Surprisingly, an Outstanding, along with Charms and Defense. Muggle Studies, and Magical Creatures too. The rest were Exceeds Expectations, or what I already mentioned with the ones I didn't do so great, or barely passing with the Acceptable." Harry told him. "Your book…Was a lot of how I did good during sixth year Potions. Admittedly."
"You never should have had that." Severus said. "I shouldn't have left it in the classroom when Slughorn took it over."
"I shouldn't have used the spells in it. I almost killed Draco. If you hadn't shown up…" Harry trailed off.
"In confession here, I created that spell to use on your father, his friends…I wanted to hurt them for all the years of bullying." Severus said.
"Hey, we were all stressed out during the war. We all did things we're not proud of, I'm sure. But…We're here now and living the lives we fought for." Harry smiled.
"Count on you to always see the brightside." Severus chuckled.
"Someone has to. When Voldemort was around, I'm pretty sure Dumbledore called me a beacon of hope and light." Harry rolled his eyes. "I suppose people still see me as such because I'm an auror."
"And people will always see you as their hero or savior, whatever the term may be Harry. Unfortunately, you'll never escape the fame or attention others give you. Everyone sees you as they do because of what you did. You are the one who survived, fought Voldemort the most, and lived. And you were the last to face him before he was destroyed." Severus reminded. "But the work you do as an auror, Harry, is your own. Your OWL and NEWT scores prove the work you put in as a student who dealt with everything you did. And your work as an auror has continuously kept people safe. So I stand by what I said before, where this began, that you earned this. Don't doubt your ability to make things happen."
"You make me out like some kind of miracle worker." Harry said.
"Well, you have done things others haven't." Severus remarked calmly. "You've done so much, Harry. You always found a way in any situation. You found a way out. You found a way to survive. To win. You never gave up. You fought to have your own life, your future. You followed your dream of becoming an auror." Harry looked at Severus again. "You're incredibly smart, determined, skilled, and powerful, Harry. As well as caring, understanding, and the depth of your love is unmeasurable and unbeaten. You see the best in people when they see the worst. You bring people together, inspire them. And you always fight for what you believe in, for what's right."
"You have beaten the odds over and over again, Harry. Not because people expected it of or believed in you…" Severus paused for a moment as he held Harry's hand, linking their fingers. "But because you believed in yourself. Don't lose that now and doubt your abilities. Take the promotion, you deserve it." Severus leaned in a bit and gave Harry a light peck on the lips, then stared into his eyes. "You can do this, Harry, like you've done everything else. By facing it head on with no fear. You rise to challenges, Harry Potter, and you own them. Your friends, family, and myself will be right behind you and help anyway we can."
"You really are the sweetest guy I've ever been with." Harry stated. "You always have the right words."
"I pride myself on being one who sees truth and you already know I don't hold back with you. I am only stating facts. Truths. Reminding you of your victories and successes. Reminding you that everything you have, everything you've done…Is your own doing. Because you fought for it." Severus informed.
Harry smiled and kissed him lightly. "Okay, okay…I'll take the promotion. As long as you agree to come to the gala with me?"
"I suppose I can spare one evening to attend," Severus agreed. "What now?"
"I can clean up from dinner and we could sit in front of the fire?" Harry suggested.
"Or, I could help you clean up from dinner and we could be sitting in front of the fire faster?" Severus offered.
"If you really want to," Harry told him while getting off his chair to gather his plate and cup from dinner.
Severus followed suit as the two brought their dirtied dishes to the sink. Harry first put away the leftovers into the fridge, then he and Severus stood before the sink to get the dishes washed, dried, and put away. It didn't take long, and soon they were sitting together on the couch after Harry lazily flicked his wand to set the wood in place, then cast a charm to get the fire going. Harry and Severus just sat together, somewhat cuddled up as Harry was leaning against Severus, and the potions master's arm was around Harry's shoulders. The two sat in silence for a bit, eventually ended up sharing a kiss and getting back to talking about whatever came up. It usually always started with how their days had gone.
It had been a good night and Severus really was an amazing guy, all the things he said to Harry when he'd begun to doubt himself at the prospect of becoming Head of the Auror Office. Things between them just came so easily, naturally. It sucked that they couldn't have had this kind of peace, at least as friends, back when they were both at Hogwarts. It was understandable why, though. Voldemort was still around, Severus had a role to keep, and Severus admitted that there was anger and pain in seeing Harry back then. Anger that Harry was the spitting image of James Potter, who was a bully to Severus throughout their Hogwarts years along with Pettigrew and Sirius. Harry knew Remus was a Marauder too, but stories suggested Remus didn't take part in the bullying.
The pain was that Lily Evans had been Severus's best friend for several years, and despite their friendship breaking, Severus always cared for her. It was more than understood now by Harry why Severus seemed to hate Harry, but always kept him safe regardless. However, with the war over; Severus could see that Harry didn't really look like his father anymore and the fact Harry and Severus's friendship was so strong was due to the fact it came easy without being under the constant state of war because Voldemort was gone. As Harry told Severus when they started dating, they worked because Severus saw the kind of friend Lily was inside Harry. So the two were great friends within their relationship. Meaning the friendship laid a good foundation down for them to have open communication, trust, and obviously, get along great. Harry loved how well things were going, but of course, he was nervous too. His relationship track record wasn't stunning, and the last thing he wanted was for anything to happen that would land Severus hurt and them breaking up.
That was the problem, though. Harry hadn't wanted another relationship given how the previous ones ended. Harry had just about thrown in the towel with dating, what was the point if it never lasted more than six months. Always ending because the person he was with would get hurt, or only wanted sex, or couldn't handle the jealousy of others who wanted him. But then Draco had made that comment the night they drank in June that Severus and Harry were good for one another. Good friends, laid back, balance in their lives between working and how they spent free time. Plus the fact Severus didn't care about Harry's fame, the man had always been straightforward and honest. Truthfully, it seemed like a perfect match. But Harry was still worried. Severus and Harry had been together since September. As the time passed, Harry knew six months was coming up fast and he should know better than to get attached.