The group, mainly Rick, had made the decision to pack up and move on. They had made many stops, clearing highways and looking through cars. They had plenty of water, food, gas, and they had found a box truck full of gas. They decided to put all their supplies in it.
It took a day and so to reach the first town, smaller towns were usually safer. They parked and pillaged. There were some medications in the general store, some canning supplies, and they piled clothes and bags of coal into the truck.
Daryl wasn't having a very good time. He'd been clumped in with the 'kids' so he had to ride in the RV with Carol, Dale, and Glenn alongside Sophia and Carl. Lori, Andrea, Amy, and T-dog rode in the car, Rick drove the box truck with Shane, and Merle rode his motorcycle in the front.
Daryl was sharpening a knife and grumbling about how he was nota kid. Carol was helping the kids with their workbooks and Glenn was sitting up front with Dale. As the kids worked Carol turned to Daryl.
"Daryl what grade were you in when this all happened? You were in highschool right?" Carol asked and the kids looked over at him. His face immediately pinked up and he looked down at his hands.
"Didn't go." Daryl mumbled and turned around to grab another knife to sharpen. Carol nodded but the kids looked at each other confused.
"You didn't go to high school?" Carl asked and Carol looked at him and then looked expectantly at Daryl. She taught him how to turn away a question he didn't want to answer. How to excuse himself from a conversation.
"Didn't go to school. Don't know how. Only learned a little bit. Don't need school." Daryl grumbled out and looked at the other kids. Then he looked at Carol, saw she was giving him a hey now kind of look.
"Oh… My mom makes me go to school. Plus I like it! Like writing and reading and stuff." Sophia said and smiled at the older boy. Carl nodded in agreement.
"Yeah plus you get to draw sometimes and read cool books about race cars and dinosaurs. Oh and you get to eat lunch with all your friends. My uncle Shane and dad used to drive me to school in the sheriff's car, it was awesome!" Carl said excitedly and smiled. Daryl chuckled and shook his head.
"Well my dad wasn't much for school. And my momma, she uh… she was gone by the time I shoulda gone to school." Daryl explained and looked at the kids and at Carol. He was looking for acceptance, for the okay. Carol nodded and Carl looked shocked.
"Your dad didn't make you go to school? That's crazy!" Carl said, he was a kid he didn't know better but Carol put her hand on his arm.
"Yeah well, he had other plans to do stuff with me. Not all of us had nice little family lives. You ought to be grateful for what you have. Cause you can fuckin loose it like that." Daryl growled out and hit the wall with his fist while staring Carl down. Everyone jumped and Carl looked scared, shocked. Sophia was nearly unbothered but she knew, she almost agreed.
"I didn't-" Carl started.
"Doesn't matter what you didn't. You cain't take it back." Daryl said loudly and walked to the back of the RV. Carol reassured the boy and told them to do their work and that Daryl didn't mean it. She walked to the back of the RV where Daryl was huffing and looking out the back window.
"Hey Daryl…" Carol said quietly as she walked up behind the boy. She noticed his breathing was fast, shallow. He was staring directly out of the window, refusing to look at her.
Carol sat down on the other side of the bench, looking over at the boy. He had tears running down his red face and he had a sour look on his face.
"They don't fucking get it." Is all the boy bit out before clamming back up as more tears poured down his face. Carol nodded and scooted over until her arm was pressed against Daryl's. Daryl was sitting facing the window an dCarol was facing the other way so when Carol leaned back, she was face to face with Daryl.
"They don't. They don't get it. They're just kids they don't know." Carol offered but knew the last part wasn't the right thing to say because Daryl huffed and shook his head, moving to stand up.
"Yeah and I never fucking was. I didn't get that shitty excuse." Daryl said angrily and bent down to yell in Carol's face. She kept her cool and nodded.
"I know. I know Daryl. I know it's hard to be surrounded by so many people who don't understand, who will never understand. But I understand Daryl. Now come sit back down, and calm down." Carol said calmly and Daryl was shaking, with anger and sadness and just upsetness. He huffed and stared into Carol's eyes for a second before flopping down next to her. She automatically put her hand on his back and rubbed circles with her thumb. Daryl sniffled and tears still coasted down his face.
"I didn't ask to be fucking stupid. I liked school. I liked my teacher. She was nice. She had long blonde hair and and she gave me food and and I liked it. But one time I came to school and she got worried about me. Our water was shut off so I was all dirty and I'd been bruised all up from bein' grabbed on. She drove me home after school cause the bus dropped me off like a mile from my house. She talked to daddy and I never got back on the school bus again. Got… got beat up when I tried." Daryl explained, tears streaming down his face. His voice was tight and cracking. Carol just listened and nodded. She kept rubbing his back and when he leaned over she let him rest his head on her shoulder.
"I could teach you. At least how to read and spell. Next time we find a school, me and you can find some books. We don't even need to tell anyone if you don't want to. We can read any kind of books you want and I'll teach you how to write, okay? Want to do that?" Carol explained and rubbed Daryl's arm. Daryl sat up, wiped his nose on his arm and looked at her. He looked so… young. Younger than he was. Someone you'd find wandering around a kindergarten asking for their momma.
"Really? Cause I only know sorta how to spell. I know the alphabet though. And I can count to a hundred." Daryl said hopefully. Carol smiled and patted his back.
"Absolutely. We can use some of Sophia's books to start. But as soon as we find another school, you can find some books on stuff you like." Carol said, smiling at the twinkle in Daryl's ocean blue eyes. He was about to say something but Glenn came to them.
The short man just smiled at them and announced they had hit another town, minimal walkers, and some nice houses to stay in for a few days.
"That's great! Me and Daryl need to scavenge for a few supplies so we'll see if Lori wants to go, and we'll head toward the school." Carol said and walked toward the front of the bus as Dale slowed it down. Daryl smiled to himself. He liked school when he went. Maybe if Carol teaches him, he won't get made fun of.
Soon everyone was out mulling around in a cul de sac that seemed to be new, not very living in. The grass was overgrown but there wasn't any damage to the homes. Daryl met back up with Merle but the 0lder brother went to find booze and pills. Daryl just started following Carol around. First she was clearing a house for her, Sophia, Glenn, and Dale. Daryl didn't like that she went first so he made his way to walk in front of her with his bow up. She made sure Sophia was always in the middle, in the safest place. The house was big, had rich people furniture and a big flatscreen TV. They finished the first floor, and went up to the second floor, it was quiet. It looked like the people who lived here had left for refuge. Probably to an island like the rest of the rich and famous.
Daryl dropped his bow and said it was clear.
"Thanks Daryl!" Sophia said happily and went into what had to have been the daughters room. There was a turquoise room, and a purple room. Both had girly decorations. Probably young kids. They both fit Sophia perfectly.
"This is a great house. There's an attic room too, I saw a window. Why don't you go check it out? I know you liked being up high." Carol advised, sternly. Daryl nodded and made his way to where a string hung down from the ceiling.
The attic was amazing. It was the entire top of the house. Five windows showing the front, back, and both sides of the house, a bathroom, a big bed covered in black sheets and a black to blue ombre blanket, and a spinny-rolly chair. Daryl checked out the closet, mostly dressy fancy clothes. He then looked through the drawers and found underwear and socks and some jeans. The bathroom had washcloths and towels and way too many different soaps.
"Daryl? How's it look?" Carol called up as she stepped on the rungs of the latter. Daryl sat on the edge of the bed and tested it, it was… really nice. Really nice.
"Yeah. It's uh, it's nice." Daryl said as Carol climbed up and looked around. She smiled and looked around. She went into the bathroom.
"Oh lots of soap… this is nice stuff. Me and Glenn are planning on baths, well Sophia too, but do you want a few gallons of water? You can boil it and bring it up here if you want. You can have two locked doors between you and everyone else." Carol asked and pointed out the attic door locked too. Daryl chewed on his thumb nail and thought about it. He could shove the dresser over too but who would protect everyone else in the house if he couldn't get to them fast enough?
"Um do you think… uh that um… we could look at a book. After. You could put Sophia to bed and stuff. There's uh there's one." Daryl asked nervously. There was a bookcase in the living room of the house. Surely there could be something there they could look at.
Carol smiled and nodded and walked over to pet his hair. He flinched away from her but allowed her to stroke his hair.
"Yes or no on the bath, buddy." She said scratched at his oily scalp. Daryl kept looking down, twiddling his hands.
"Yeah. After everybody else. Which one of them bottles do I use?" Daryl asked and looked up at Carol, she smiled. He was just too damn cute for his own good. She scratched his head and went back to the bathroom where there was a small tub. He'd be a little bunched up but she didn't think he'd even notice. She picked up three bottles of the same warm vanilla scent.
"These three. I'll set them up in order okay. Wall first and go forward." Carol explained as she set up the shampoo, conditioner, and then the exfoliating body wash. Daryl walked to curiously see the bottles. He picked up teh shampoo and looked at it.
"What's this for?" He asked quietly like Carol would get mad at him for asking. She scooted the conditioner over so it sat right next to the shampoo.
"These are for your hair. Shampoo and Conditioner. Shampoo makes it clean and conditioner makes it nice. This one's body wash. It's exfoliating so it's got little bits in it to make your skin soft." Carol showed Daryl the bottles one by one and ran her finger under the labels when she said them. Daryl made a little ' oh' and nodded.
They made their way down to the rest of the group who had all found houses to stay in for the night. Rick and Carl had found a pantry full of canned food, mostly manwich and ravioli. Everyone else headed back with shopping baskets, they had found them very handy so far, and brought back their foods. Everyone got a can of food and a soda and the rest got rationed or put in the back of the truck.
Merle had taken off somewhere and hadn't returned. Once Daryl was done eating his food he pocketed his can of soda and stood up. He was about to leave but Lori caught his wrist.
"Hey let go a' me!" Daryl snapped and ripped his hand away, putting a few feet between himself and the woman. Everyone was looking at him with a face, except Carol, she looked confused.
Andrea, who was sitting on the other side of Lori shook her head and stood up.
"He's strung out at the shack at the end. We made sure to lock the doors and windows." Andrea said quietly. She'd learned that yeah Daryl is a shithead but he really is just a teenager. Daryl looked at them all and his face twisted up in a snarl.
"All yall get to sit in these cushy ass houses but ya left my brother to rot in a fucking half burnt house? You're all teh fucking same. Selfish, heartless, assholes. You don't fuckin deserve this. At least I fuckin' fought to live this long. You ungrateful fuckin' pricks!" Daryl shouted angrily and kicked dirt at the fire. He ran off toward the house that was at least half a mile away from the rest of the houses. Shane stood up and looked at Rick.
"It's getting dark." Is all Carol said while giving Rick a ' If something goes wrong I'm blaming you' look. Rick nodded and quickly swallowed the last few bites of his food and stood up. He got his flashlight and his ax as Shane got his lantern and a machete.
"We'll let him cool off for a while. We'll keep an eye on him." Rick announced and waited for everyone to nod, Lori telling him to be safe.
The two officers talked as they followed the way Daryl had headed off in. It was a good half hour or so, and only two walkers, before they got to the shack. They heard yelling. Two voices. An argument. Shane was about to rush but Rick held him back and snuck up to the house.
"I don't fucking need you! Never did! You never did anythin for me!" Daryl's voice snapped meanly.
"Fuck I didn't! Who took your scraggy ass in when Pops kicked it!" Merle barked back.
"You and your junk ass friends who made me do that shit! I ain't never been happier than with these folks. You ain't takin me away from…" Daryl trailed off huffing regretfully.
"From who huh? That hag with a daughter? Oh you gonna go call her mommy and beg her like you did ma?" Merle said hatefully. Bringing their mother… the way Daryl had run into the house grabbing ash begging out for his momma, it was the most hurtful thing he could say.
"Shut up Merle or I swear-" Daryl growled out, stepping closer to Merle who balled up too.
"You swear what? Huh, what are you gonna do? Huh, Darleena?" Merle said quieter, right into Daryl's face.
"I ain't gonna follow you 'round no more. You can go dig around for drugs and booze for the rest of your days like daddy did by yourself. I hate you Merle Dixon." Daryl said in a serious, dangerous way. There was no response but footsteps, lightones, to the front door.
"Hey buddy, Carol sent us to make sure you could make your way back. Let's go, alright? Dale found a pack of puddings for you kids." Rick said as the two officers met Daryl outside the house. He was crying but neither man said anything. Daryl just nodded and started walking, wiping away tears and sniffling. It broke Rick's heart, it really did.
"Ain't no kid." Daryl finally said, his voice cracking. Rick smiled sadly.
"I know. You're too grown for your own good. Just get washed up and eat a puddin'. Alright." Rick said and slung an arm around Daryl who sniffled and nodded. Rick was only a few inches taller than the boy but walking between the officers made him feel oddly protected, safe.
When he got back, everyone had pots on grill grates over the big fire they had built. Carol smiled and hugged Daryl who sniffled and held on tight, not caring that everyone was looking. No one spoke to him as he cried the big pot for Carol as they filled the tub in the big bedroom suite. He waited until everyone else was done before he brought two pots of hot water up to the attic and another to sit on the floor for rinse.
Daryl sat in the tub and cried. He cried like he'd never cried before. He cried because he felt empty, he felt broken, he felt betrayed. He burned his skin red with the hot water and the way the wash made him feel raw. He scrubbed and scrubbed at his body hoping it would take a nicer shape, and prettier form.
He stayed there till the water stopped feeling hot on him. He pulled on too many layers and sat in the closet, bow beside him and blanket from the bed wrapped around him. He slept there, even when he heard Carol calling for him and knocking on the door. He just stayed there and sobbed himself to sleep. It wasn't right, Merle wasn't right. Daryl deserve… whatever he wanted. Even if that was Carol loving him, even if she didn't.