In the morning Daryl brushed his hair, pulled his layers down to just one pair of light wash jeans, clean underwear, socks, and a nice muted blue button up shirt that he ripped the arms off of. He walked down the stairs and saw Carol in the kitchen with Sophia, eating. Daryl wasn't hungry. He just felt… like he was drifting. It didn't feel like he was walking, breathing, anything. He was just moving.
He just sort of hung in the doorway. He could feel Carol looking at him. The staring. It broke him down and he started sobbing. It started off with just his shoulders hitching up and his face going down and his breath quickening.
He halfway heard Carol send Sophia to go play with Carl or help Lori. She came and hugged him as he sobbed right there in the entry of the kitchen. He grabbed the back of the loose yellow shirt she was wearing and just held on and let out croaked out sobs as tears and snot flowed from his face.
"What's wrong? What happened, Daryl? Come sit down. " Carol asked and rubbed the boy's back and tried to pull away but Daryl only squeezed her tighter. He sobbed loudly, bawling out like nothing else. Carol turned her head and kissed his forehead. Whatever happened between him and Merle, or him and the officers, it was… unimaginable.
When he started to just huff out breaths and hyperventilate Carol pulled him away from her. She watched as he retracted his hands to hold them loosely at his chest, they were shaking. He was shaking. He just closed his eyes and sobbed, his breath hiccuping and short.
"Daryl. Listen. Listen to me. Breathe. Big breath in. Big breath out. Good. Do it again." Carol instructed him and he listened. He started taking forced big breaths and walked to where Carol wanted him, the kitchen table. He sat down and looked at her. He just couldn't get out what he wanted to say, he didn't really know what to say. He just hurt . All over he hurt.
"Big breaths." Carol reminded him and got him a glass of water from a jug. His head started to clear up after the fifth or sixth big deep breath he got in. He drank the water quickly, his throat was achey. Carol sat down next to him and let their knees touch.
"Do you want to tell me what happened?" Carol said and Daryl looked down at his hands. He chewed on the inside of his lip.
"Merle…. I got in a fight with Merle." The boy said and his lip started to shake and his eyes watered back up. Of course Carol had heard what Rick had to say about the encounter but it was different hearing it from the person who actually went through it. Carol nodded and waited.
"He was all strung out and and I told him I didn't wanna follow him 'round no more. I told him I wanna stay with this group. He was jus' bein' mean. Hateful. Told 'im I hated 'im." Daryl said as tears dripped down from his eyes to leave dark marks on his jeans. Carol pulled his chair to be next to her and hugged the boy to her side. He was just crying and sniffling quietly.
"I'm sorry Daryl. I know you really care about him. Maybe being away from him for a while will help heal things. WE'll probably cross paths sooner or later. How about you just stop worrying about him, which I know is hard, but just worry about you ." Carold advised and the boy nodded and wiped his face. He just sat and a big frown on his face.
"Al-alright." Daryl said and laid his head down on his arms on the cool table top.
He didn't process the sound of small footsteps getting closer. Only when Carol spoke he noticed the girl had come back into the house.
"Hey Soph, whatcha got?" Carol asked her daughter who had something in her small hands. Sophia smiled and Carl was peeking from around the corner of the doorway.
"I got Daryl a cookie cause he looked sad. Look, it's got candy in it. They're really stale but they're still good!" Sophia said and handed her mother the stale treat. It had many small m&m like candies all over it. Carl peeked through and walked to the woman too. Daryl kept his head down but listened. He didn't wanna be mean to the other kids. Other kids.
"Hey Carl." Carol said and set the cookie on the napkin she had set her spoon on when she ate breakfast. Carl smiled and held up a glass bottle full of… something.
"Me and Shane went to look through the houses and look. Yoo-hoo." Carl announced and Daryl picked his head up slowly to look at the bottle. His eyes were red and his face was splotchy. Carl held it up and waggled it in front of the older boy's face.
"A whole case of these. Plus milk goes with cookies." Carl said and Daryl rolled his eyes and let out a 'pff' and grabbed the bottle and the kids went running off. He stared at the bottle for a long moment.
"I never got these. I wanted em but daddy never let me. Said they weren't for us." Daryl said and smiled up at Carol before popping the lid off and drinking some. Thankfully Carl had already shaken it.
"I can drink all of this?" Daryl asked.
"'Course it's yours." Carol said and slid the cookie over to him. She'd never seen someone drink chocolate milk so fast, Daryl practically shoved the cookie down his throat. He was smiling when he was done, he burped, and Carol gave him a look.
"What?" Daryl asked and stood up, he felt better and looked better. Crumbs and all.
"We say-" Carol started but Daryl waved his hand.
"Excuse me." Daryl said and walked toward the door, grabbing his bow from where he set it against the wall. He stopped in the doorway and hesitated.
"'M gonna ask Grimes if I can take one of the shopping carts. Maybe me and Sophia can see if we can find some stuff." Daryl said nervously. His hand twitched over the heft of his bow. Carol trusted him with Sophia, he would always keep her safe.
"Sure, make sure to stay close, don't lose each other, and make sure to bring back everything useful." Carol told him and Daryl nodded and walked off. He was such a good boy, thought the woman.
Later rather than sooner Daryl came running down the street with a train of garden wagons being pulled behind him. Sophia laughing hysterically from the second one. Each was full of stuff. They had started collecting each wagon and tying them together since they were more compact than the two shopping carts the group had. After a few miles of walking Sophia said she was tired so Daryl plunked her down on one of the carts with the few things she'd wanted and the stuff they got for Carol.
They decided that the big box of fruity sweet cereal could be their secret since they were bringing so much back to the group. Daryl had taken out six or so walkers and retrieved his arrows. They had raided every pantry, gun cabinet, drawer, and medicine cabinet they could find.
They had eight wagons in their own little caravan, one holding medicine and anything that looked like medicine or toothpaste. Sophia had read most of the labels. The next holding Sophia, some shoes and slippers, a stuffed unicorn, and a backpack that Daryl had filled with special stuff for Carol. The third had clothes and shoes. After that it was a mix of weapons, kitchen utensils, food, cleaners, and other doodads that could be useful.
Daryl was running until he got to the third house away from the group and realized he couldn't stop.
"Shit!" Daryl yelled as Shane and T-dog ran up to help him slow the wagon train down. Daryl just moved to the side and snatched Sophia up out of it and set her down on the grass.
Thankfully Shane could slow it down enough it couldn;t do any damage and T-dog walked it to a stop. Shane gave Daryl a look but when he realized just how muchthe kids had brought back he shook his head.
"Quite the haul kid." Shane said as the rest of the group came over to look. Andrea and Amy were laughing with Lori over the fact the kids had been playing Trains in the middle of the apocalypse.
"Yeah. Look, food and stuff. This is me and Sophia's stuff though. Dibs." Daryl said as the little girl ran up to stand by their wagon. She threw her arm around his side and shook her head.
"Yeah our stuff. We found the unicorn." Sophia said proudly with her thin chest puffed up which made Carol's heart happy. Seeing Daryl be so kind made her so happy.
"Alright hot shots, this is great. Good job guys. Really this is great. You guys deserve whatever that stuff is y'all dibbed." Rick said as he smiled and started looking through the wagons. Daryl started untying the wagons after Shane failed to do so. He explained that the front was medicine and the food was under the clothes. Him and Sophia got their wagon, getting pats on the backs as they made their way to a grinning Carol.
"I thought you two might have run off. You missed lunch." Carol said with a smile glued to her face. Daryl grinned but looked down at the ground. Sophia shook her head.
"Nope we had lunch but it's a secret. Right, Daryl?" Sophia asked with her arms crossed and she elbowed him in the side. Daryl nodded his head with a fake serious face on.
"Oh yeah, very secret stuff. Can't tell nobody." Daryl said with all seriousness. Sophia giggled and Daryl let out a huff and pulled the wagon into the kitchen of the house. Sophia grabbed her unicorn and the few things she got and ran up to her staked claim. Daryl got the backpack and stood there with a smile on his face.
"Did you find a nice new backpack?" Carol asked and looked at the backpack as she sat down. Daryl shook his head and sat down opposite of her.
"We was lookin' for guns in side tables and I found stuff for you." Daryl said and looked up at Carol, she swore his eyes were sparkling. She smiled at him. He really was a sweetheart.
"You didn't have to get me anything! That's very nice though." Carol said and Daryl nodded and unzipped the bag. He pulled out a bundle of what looked like a jean vest.
"See there was a lady who lived there and she had clothes like you do so we took her closet but this one's special. See it gots a bird on it." Daryl explained and unfolded the vest to show that there was a bluebird embroidered on one of the front breast pockets. Carol looked at it, it was a very nice vest. Good quality and had plenty of pockets.
"Thank you Daryl, this is perfect. I'll wear it a lot." Carol said and smiled and folded it and put it to the side as Daryl pulled out something else.
Daryl had gathered up a pearl handled pocket knife, a few light button ups, a pair of ladies hiking boots in her size, and a pin with a flower on it. Daryl looked at Carol nervously when he was done. Carol hugged him and thanked him.
"That was a very nice thing you did today. You helped everyone in the camp. You did such a good thing." Carol said and sat back down to try on the boots which were very nice. A sturdy pink material with a lovely cushiony sole. Daryl smiled and looked down, his face turning red. He reached into the bag again.
"Um… I took this from a kids room. I didn't tell Sophia. It's… I want it." Daryl said sternly, making a point. He pulled out a small easy reader book with a picture of a deer on the front. "Wildlife" was the title. It was maybe twenty pages thick and small, maybe seven inches tall and five inches wide. Carol took it from him gently and opened it to flick through a few pages.
"This is a great book. After dinner we can take a look. Lori, me, and Shane are going to the school tomorrow in the pickup truck. You should come, too. Me and you can go see what we can find in the elementary and the others can check the nurses and cafeteria." Carol said and gave Daryl back his book which he put right back in the backpack. Daryl thought about it and nodded.
"Okay, can we find books like this one? I like this one. Maybe we can bring a rug back too like they had when I went to school." Daryl said hopefully and looked up at Carol. He remembered that when he went to school they all sat on a big colorful rug when they got read to. He liked that rug.
"Absolutely. We can all probably get a wagon in the back of the truck. That was a very good idea to bring those. Now, let's go see what else you brought us!" Carol said and lead Daryl back outside where everyone was pulling out all the clothes.
Andrea was probably the most grateful. Not only for the food and medicine but for the fact the boy had grabbed so much womens clothing from closets. Not many people would have thought to do so. There were jeans, blouses, shoes, socks, underwear, and so many button ups. Which didn't surprise her given those were all Daryl ever wore. She instantly squealed when she picked up one shirt and it was a fancy lightweight white button up in her size. It was perfect, comfortable and clean . She put it on her and Amy's pile on the chairs that were set up around the fire pit.
Everyone was picking through, and organizing. Dale and T-dog were going through the medication. And such. Daryl and Sophia just grabbed whatever looked like medicine. There was toothpaste, Tumz, pepto bismol, condoms, pregnancy tests, and a surprising amount of roll on arthritis medications and muscle relaxers. But there were also dozens of bottles of prescription medications and so much useful over the counter meds. Rick and Shane went through the weapons. There were guns, hunting knives, boxes of ammo, arrows, and a big pile of pocket knives.
Shane had to laugh because… The little bastard really just risked his life to go gather all of this up for the whole group? Fucking insane.
There were so many shoes that everyone just looked for their size. Glenn ended up with two pairs, boots and sneakers, Rick and Shane and Dale all wore similar sizes so they piled those together, Andrea found knee high muck boots and a pair nice shiny new red combat boots, Amy found some mens hiking boots, Lori found a few pairs in her size and piled them to her side, T-dog was over the moon over the amount of fresh soles and immediately took his old shoes off and slipped on a pair of new sneakers.
They put everything in collective piles in the wagons to consolidate. They would stay two more nights here before trying to find somewhere else to stay. Moving was safer than staying. When Daryl and Carol walked out everyone was happy with Daryl, clapping him on the back and telling him he did a good job.
"Where'd you put my cake mix? I wanna cake." Daryl asked Shane when he could find the red box. Shane flipped it over to the boy with a tight grin.
"'Course you want a cake. Tell Carol to find the ingredients. Should be oil and eggs probably." Shane said Daryl nodded and walked back to Carol.
"Gotta box of stuff with a picture on it. Look, yellow." Daryl said and ran his finger under the word. Sure Sophia had told him and he remembered but he knew what 'yellow' looked like. Carol smiled and flipped the box over, water, oil, and an egg. Easy enough to figure out.
"Alright Mister Smarty Pants, did you bring me a cake pan?" Carol asked and Daryl ran back to bring the "baking" tools he'd brought. It was a brownie pan, a spatula, a blue pyrex bowl, and a bag of powdered sugar. At least it could be a frosted cake.
That night as everyone ate spaghetti, real spaghetti with some squirrel meatballs, all the kids were burning with excitement. Even Daryl who ate quickly, even after Carol told him to eat quieter and neater. Daryl usually ate rather…. In an unsightly manner. He always has stuff on his face and hands and harks down his food like a starved dog. But when he was done he went and stood in the kitchen, alone.
He stared down at the pan. Yellow cake, a little burn and a little raw in the middle, with powdered sugar and water frosting. It was his. It was for him. It wasn't for someone else and he just got a piece. It was made special for him. It was all his. He just stepped right up to it and stared down at it. He could eat it. It was his, he could eat all of it. He reached up to just touch it…
"Daryl~ Let's cut up that cake buddy. You get the best piece, whatever piece you want." Carol said in a happy sing-songy voice as she walked up behind Daryl who pulled his hand away and backed away from the offensive dessert. He looked like he was caught with his face in a pie, Carol just waved her hand and pulled up a kitchen knife to cut the cake.
"We all think about stuff like that. Just pick your piece and I'll cut it up for everyone else." Carol said safely and Daryl nodded, his face still red. He pointed to the middle where the edges weren't burnt and Carol cut it and put it on a paper plate.
"I'm gonna be seventeen next year. Can I have a cake for my birthday? Never had one before." Daryl said quietly as he looked at the cake. Carol patted his back and they looked at each other.
"Of course. We'll find some sprinkles and put back special for it." Carol said and she loved the way the boy broke out in a big smile, his teeth showing and his eyes scrinching closed.
Tomorrow she could look for something nice for him. Maybe a candy jar or something to fidget with. Some coloring books. She just couldn't help but love him, he was so kind and cute and caring and independent and strong. She just wanted to let him be weak, let him be vulnerable just a little bit.