JENNIE
When you're ready, I'll be here.
Was I ready?
A week ago, no. Lisa had picked up on my hesitancy and hadn't pushed too fast. But now? Maybe I'd needed the week to wrap my head around this. To let her kiss me often. To smile when she smiled. To open my mind to the idea of a someone.
Maybe I'd needed the week to remind myself that Lisa wasn't Jiyong. And to remind myself that I wasn't the same Jennie who'd been blinded by Jiyong's charm.
Not fooled.
Blinded.
The person who'd stolen my sight had been me. I'd shut my eyes to his faults and seen only good looks, money and status.
But I'd had my eyes opened thanks to a baby boy. And when I looked at Lisa, I saw the best person I'd ever known.
She had the looks. She had the charm. She had the money and, in Quincy, plenty of status as an Manoban. But none of it seemed to matter to her. She cared about honesty and integrity. Family and hard work. She treated me like I was precious and desired.
Was I ready?
Headlights flashed through the window and I leapt off the couch, racing for the door.
One glance at Lisa at the base of the stairs and I didn't need to ask myself any more questions.
My heart answered with a resounding thump. The landing was frozen and cold, but I stepped outside in my bare feet anyway, waiting as she jogged up the stairs. "Well? How'd it go?"
Lisa answered by sweeping me into an embrace and carrying me inside, pushing the door closed behind us with her foot. Then her mouth was on mine, our lips melding in that slow, delicious tangle I'd become addicted to this week.
I was breathless by the time she finally set me on my feet. "So? Did Lester like dinner?"
"He told me it was a bold move to serve him mac 'n' cheese. I told him I had a woman at home who'd promised me it was the best in the world. He agreed."
"Yes." I flew at her, jumping into her arms because I knew she'd catch me. "I knew it. I knew he'd love whatever you made."
"I've got leftovers in the truck. Want some?"
"Later." I dropped my lips to hers, losing myself in her taste and her tongue. My legs wound around her hips and when I felt her arousal press into my center, this time, I didn't back away. As one of her arms moved to hold my thigh, I arched into her, earning a low growl from deep in her chest.
She tore her mouth away. "Fuck, but you can kiss."
I smiled, pressed a kiss to the corner of her lips. "Kiss me again."
"I better walk out that door while I still can."
"Stay," I whispered.
Her hold tightened, her eyes darkened with lust. "Jennie—"
"I'm ready." I ran my fingers through her thick hair. "I wasn't a week ago. But I am now."
"You sure?"
"Yes." I trusted Lisa. With my body. With my heart.
She was leaning in, her lips almost brushing mine, when she froze.
"What?"
"Leo."
Oh, shit. What was wrong with me? I'd been seconds away from jumping Lisa and my son was sleeping in his crib. "I'm a horrible mother."
Lisa chuckled. "You're not a horrible mother. But let's take this to my place."
"I don't have a baby monitor." They were expensive, and since Leo and I lived in a single room, what was the point?
"Think he'll stay asleep if you load him up?"
"Maybe."
"Worth a shot. You get him." Lisa set me down on my feet. "I'll get the crib."
I tiptoed across the loft, picking up Leo and wrapping him in a blanket.
In the time it took me to pull on a cardigan and step into a pair of shoes, Lisa had the crib folded up and the diaper bag hung over her shoulder.
Maybe this was reckless. Not long ago, I'd had a nuclear explosion of a breakup. Yet as I followed Lisa across the driveway to her house, my feet danced over the gravel. A smile pinched my cheeks.
Every step was full of anticipation. Every heartbeat thrummed beneath my skin.
Lisa Manoban, for tonight, was mine.
She led the way into the house, then straight down the hallway toward the guest bedrooms. She set up Leo's crib like someone who'd done it a hundred times, not once.
I pressed a kiss to my son's head. Leo let out a squeak as I laid him in his bed. Then I held my breath, both Lisa and I hovering over the crib's rail. "Is this weird?"
"What?" Lisa whispered.
"Shuffling a baby around in the night so we can . . . you know." So I could climb Lisa like a naked tree.
"You think this killed the mood?"
"Did it?" Please say no. My body was strung tight and after a week of kissing, I ached for more.
Lisa took one of my hands, bringing it to her hard, flat stomach. Then, with her palm covering my knuckles, she dragged it lower and lower over her jeans. Her hardness made me gasp. "That answer your question?"
My mouth went dry. That was not a small bulge behind her zipper.
Leo scrunched up his nose and shifted, but then he relaxed and drifted off again. Sleep. Please, baby. Sleep.
Lisa kept a grip on my hand and dragged me out of the room, leaving the door open so we could hear Leo if he cried. Then we were hurrying down the hallway. She didn't slow her long strides for me, she just pulled, the urgency in her movements matched by my own.
But I guess I wasn't walking fast enough because when we reached the living room, she turned and swept me up and over a shoulder, carting me the rest of the way to her bedroom in a fireman's hold.
"Oh my God." I giggled as her palm smacked my ass. Then I was flying through the air, a yelp caught in my throat, before I landed on her bed. "Your house has a lot of windows for a caveman."
She grinned, her beautiful face muted in the dim moonlight that crept through the glass. Then she leaned forward, her arms planted beside me in the bed. "You are mine. Whether we do this tonight or not."
She was going to make me fall in love with her, wasn't she?
I put my palm against her cheek, then leaned in, closing the distance, and took her mouth.
Lisa's intensity met mine, desire curling between my legs. The ache I'd had for her came to new life as her hands slipped beneath the thin fabric of the camisole I'd pulled on with my pajama bottoms.
She moved me deeper into the bed and then she was everywhere, kissing down my neck while her hands roamed my ribs and the soft swell of my breasts. My cardigan was stripped from beneath me and tossed to the floor.
My hands threaded into her hair as I let the scent of her bedroom wrap around me. Soap and sage and Lisa.
Every touch, every caress, made the throb in my core pulse stronger. "More."
Lisa ignored me and continued her delicious torture, never touching me where I needed her to touch me, just getting close. And damn it, we were both fully clothed. I was about to crawl out of my skin if I didn't get to touch hers.
My fingers abandoned her hair to pull and tug at her shirt, but every time I had the hem tugged up her spine, she twisted and I lost my grip. "You're killing me."
"Slow. Remember?"
"That's a horrible idea."
"Just making sure you're ready." She dipped lower, dragging her tongue across my collarbone. Her hand slid down my belly, dipping below the elastic waistband of my pajama pants. Then those long fingers were beneath my panties, gliding through my wet folds.
"Lisa." I arched into her touch, my eyes falling closed.
Her lips traveled lower and lower. A hand came to free my breast. Then her hot mouth closed over a nipple and I nearly came undone.
It had been a long time since I'd felt worshiped. Sexy. My body came alive beneath her touch and the more she toyed, the more I trembled.
"Don't come," she ordered.
My eyes flew open. "What?"
She gave me a wicked grin. "Don't come. Not yet."
"Then you'd better stop."
Her hand came out of my pants and she climbed off the bed. The moment she reached for the hem of her shirt, I propped up on an elbow and refused to blink as she dragged it over her head. I'd seen her shirtless through the window, but damn. There was nothing like a close-up view of those washboard abs. The definition at her hips was mouthwatering. She had the V that disappeared past the waistband of her jeans.
The tattoos on her biceps wrapped up and around her shoulders. One dipped low to her pec. If she let me tonight, I'd gladly trace the lines with my fingertips and my tongue.
She kicked off her shoes while flipping the button on her jeans.
The hitched breath that escaped my lips made Lisa freeze. "Too fast?"
I shook my head, eyes glued to her long, thick cock. "You're, um . . . wow."
She planted a knee in the bed, covering me with that muscular body. An arm reached for the nightstand drawer and when she brought the condom between us, she gave me one more chance to hit the brakes. "We can save this for another night."
"Why are you trying to talk me out of having sex with you?"
She kissed the tip of my nose. "Because tonight will be the best damn time I've had in years. I want that for you too. No regrets."
"No regrets."
She held my gaze, searching for a shred of doubt. She wouldn't find one.
I shoved at her shoulders, forcing her up. Then I stripped off my own top, tossing it to the floor. Her eyes flared at the sight of my bare breasts. That appreciation was enough to banish any fears that my body had changed after childbirth and I'd lost my appeal.
Lisa surged, her lips fusing to mine. Then we were a mess of frantic movements as we both worked to shove away my pants, leaving nothing between us but heat.
Her weight settled into the cradle of my hips. Her body was a tower of strength. Her arms bracketing my face kept her from crushing me, but she stayed close enough.
"You are . . . you are a dream," she breathed. "I gave up on those."
My breath hitched. "So did I."
Her kiss was soft and gentle as she positioned herself at my entrance. Then she rocked us together, inch by inch.
I savored the stretch, the feel of her so hard inside me. My entire body ignited as she moved, in and out, in deliberate, measured strokes until I was clawing at her shoulders, urging her on, faster and faster.
This person, holy God she had stamina. Lisa never tired. She never stopped, just fucked, exactly like a woman should be fucked. Long and with rapt attention.
The sound of our labored breaths echoed in the dark room. The magnificent tension built higher and higher with each of her thrusts until I felt like glass ready to shatter.
"Come." Lisa dropped her mouth to my pulse and sucked. Hard. Then she pistoned her hips, hitting that spot inside that made me see stars.
I exploded around her, pulsing and squeezing, as the world disappeared. There was nothing but us and the fall over the edge.
Tremors racked my body and with a groan, she buried her face in my hair, her own limbs shaking, and gave in to her own orgasm.
Her heart thundered as she collapsed on top of me. "Goddamn, Jennie."
"That was . . ." I wrapped my arms and legs around her, not wanting to lose the weight. But she shifted, rolling to her side and pulling me into her chest.
"That was fucking fire."
I smiled against her throat, content to sleep exactly like this, our bodies damp with sweat and tangled together. But my son had other ideas.
A tiny cry carried through the house. I rolled off the bed, scurrying for my clothes. Then I jogged to the kitchen, rushing to get a bottle and formula from the diaper bag.
I'd just filled it with water when Lisa came striding down the hallway, passing the kitchen for the guest bedroom. She emerged moments later with Leo in her arms.
"I can take him," I said.
"I've got him." She stole the bottle from my hand and walked to the couch, settling down with the baby.
I curled up on the other end, tucking my legs beneath me.
Those two were a sight. A dream.
Leo looked content in Lisa's arms. Lisa seemed happy too.
"This was a best day," I whispered. "Top five."
"Tell me about them. Your top five best days."
"You already know the first."
"Leo's birthday."
I nodded. "Early on in labor, when the contractions weren't coming one on top of another, this nurse brought me in a basket of knitted baby hats. A woman who volunteered in the nursery made them for all the new babies. I picked out this soft gray one, and as I held it, I had this feeling like I was exactly where I needed to be. Have you ever felt like that?"
"Yeah. The day I moved home from San Francisco and walked into the kitchen at The Rosie."
"It's a good feeling."
"That it is." She glanced down at my son. "What about the other days?"
"My third best day was the day I graduated from college. My girlfriends and I planned this amazing party. We got all dressed up and went clubbing and drank champagne and danced all night."
The memory of that night wasn't as bright as it had been. I hadn't spoken to any of those friends in months. We'd drifted apart some after college, each of us busy with fledgling careers. Then I'd gotten pregnant and my clubbing nights had disappeared and with them, my friends.
Friends who weren't really friends. I still liked their photos on Instagram. They sent the occasional text to check in. But our lives had gone in different directions.
"My fourth-best day was a trip I took to Hawaii for work," I said. "We'd just opened a hotel on Maui, and I'd gone out to work with the local marketing team to get some pictures and content for social media. I flew out early and spent an entire day on the beach, reading and napping and doing nothing but listening to the sound of the waves."
"When was that?"
"A couple years ago. It was my most peaceful day." Because not long after, I'd met Jiyong. And he'd brought chaos to my life.
"I haven't been to the beach in ages." Lisa took the empty bottle from Leo and set it on the end table. Then she shifted my son over her shoulder, patting his back. "Okay, what's the next best?"
"The day I moved into my townhouse in the city." Another best day tainted.
I'd hoped to buy the townhouse from my parents. The location had been fantastic, just a short walk to some of my favorite restaurants. There'd been a coffee shop three blocks away. Its only rival for a vanilla latte was Jihyo's. The townhouse's interior I'd decorated exactly to my style, classy and chic and comfortable.
I gave Lisa a sad smile. "I really loved that place."
"Is that why your dad took it away?"
"Probably."
My father had wanted his way. And like he had our entire lives, he kept his children in line by taking away the things we loved.
"Sorry, honey. Gotta say . . . I'm not cool with your dad."
"I'm not cool with him either."
When I'd first told Lisa about my family, I hadn't wanted them to seem ugly. But as the days passed, as Lisa interacted with Rosie or Anne popped into the hotel to check on her kids, I began to see my parents' true colors. Black and lifeless and empty.
Leo let out a burp so loud it filled the room. I blurted out a laugh, so did Lisa, and then Leo cooed a sleepy yawn before passing out.
"So what was your fifth-best day?"
"I just told you. The townhouse day."
Her eyebrows furrowed. "So today was your second-best day?"
"Yeah."
"You said top five. But it was number two?"
Without question.
She'd brought me my favorite coffee. She'd visited me all morning for kiss after kiss. Lisa had made me feel special. Wanted. After she'd talked to Lester, she'd come to tell me first. And then tonight . . . Maybe I was giving away too much. Old Jennie would have played it differently. But I wasn't playing. Not anymore.
"It was a really good day," I said.
So why wasn't she smiling?
Silence stretched through the room like the darkness and the night beyond the windows. A chill crept along my skin as Lisa stared straight ahead, sitting motionless and giving nothing away.
Had she not liked today? She'd probably had countless best days. This one probably paled in comparison to the memorable days in her life. Maybe she thought my ranking good and bad times was silly.
Not for me.
When you lived with sharks, you marked the days when a life raft came floating your way.
"What did I say wrong?"
"Nothing." Lisa stood and carried Leo to the guest room.
I followed, hovering by the door as she laid the baby in his crib. My stomach knotted as Lisa turned and acted as though she'd walk straight past me. But as her chest brushed my shoulder, she snagged my hand and towed me through the house.
She dropped my hand when we stepped into her bedroom and rubbed her palm over her jaw. "Today was your second-best day."
"Well . . . yeah. What's wrong with that?"
She shook her head. "It was just a normal day, honey."
"Maybe for you." I lifted a shoulder. "My normal days aren't like this."
"That's . . ." Lisa paced at the foot of the bed.. "That's not right. And fuck, it hurts. It hurts me for you."
"Why? What is wrong with today being a best day?"
"Because today was normal." She threw up a hand. "Just a normal, good day. You worked. I worked. We came home. That's it."
"But it was a best because of you."
"Jennie." She pressed a hand to her heart. "You honor me."
"It's just the truth."
She strode toward me, taking my face in her hands. "Then here's another truth. I'm going to take them. I'm going to take all of your bests. Every damn one until you can't keep track of the top five anymore because there are so many bests that you'll need a hundred to capture them all."
"Promise?" I whispered.
"I swear it."