"You! Levi! You're a man! Come on—what do you think of her?"

A wave of regret crept up on Levi as he traced every step of the way that led him to… this.

It wasn't any different than what routinely happened at HQ — insomnia, a midnight craving of peppermint tea, the empty canister sitting on his shelf, the thought of the new stock that had arrived days ago sitting in the dining hall. This happened every so often (though extra stressful weeks called for more frequent restocks). Levi would creep through the night hallways with quiet steps, snagging a handful of bags of tea before retreating back to his room.

This was the only sort of routine a captain like him had the luxury to build; a simple reward for each time he'd come back alive from yet another venture out of the Walls. Outside the confines of his room, Levi was a captain fighting for the people of Paradis Island. He was respected and admired amongst the people for his selfless sacrifice and leadership. But inside the privacy of his tea-scented walls, Levi could admit to himself that sometimes—just sometimes—it was just for these tea-drinking nights, digging sleepless eyes into another dusty leather-bound book recommended by Hange or Erwin.

During tonight's venture, though, Levi spotted the crack of the Mess Hall doors flickering with light, with quiet echoes of chatter that followed. He planned to finish his mundane business and leave, until the noises became familiar voices, piquing his curiosity. But Levi wasn't the type to eavesdrop like that; what needed to be communicated with him always found its way to him. Although tempted, he managed to avoid pressing an ear to the door and carried on.

The door creaked as he pushed in, paying no attention to the voices. As he moved, he caught a pair of eyes behind reflective glasses at a table next to the kitchen entrance — it was Hange, who gasped and yelled his name with a beaming smile on her face. "LEVI!"

"Too much energy this late at night. Pipe down." He disregarded Hange's retorts as he glanced at the other figure sitting in front of Hange; a slim silhouette, adjusting in their seat. As Levi got closer, he recognized the dark chin-length hair of Mikasa, her fringe of bangs covering her face as she peeked over a shoulder at him. "Huh... It's you," Levi said, placing a hand against his hip. "You two… The hell are you doing here at this hour?"

Mikasa looked up at him, gray eyes mysterious as always. "I had to ask Hange—"

"No, no, dear Mikasa," Hange hushed, smiling at the woman. A tongue stuck out at the man. "Unless you're capable of joining our girl talk, Levi, we don't plan on telling you anything. Huh?! Isn't that right, Mikasa?!" Hange patted Mikasa's shoulder from across the table. Mikasa looked a little confused while mumbling I suppose under a breath.

"Tch… Very well." Levi shrugged. "I'll get out of your way." Annoyed, he retreated to the kitchen, ignoring Hange's snickers behind him. He opened the cabinets where the tea was stashed; a metal container with only a dozen sachets left — he looted five for himself. A captain's privilege. The kitchen was separated from the Mess Hall just enough for it to feel like they had privacy, but it was still close enough for Levi to make out words through the open doorway.

It was hard to not pay special attention to Mikasa's voice. She wasn't a woman of many words, which was quite admirable to Levi — it always meant more when she did choose to speak up. But wanting to talk to Hange about something in the middle of the night, so secretively, was even more intriguing.

He caved into his curiosity.

…It was the other day, Hange. Eren told me that.

"…Told her what…?" Levi whispered to himself as he lingered in the kitchen, letting his sudden compulsion to wipe down already-clean shelving take over just so he had an excuse to loiter. He swiped a nearby rag and went to work.

I didn't know how to take it when he did that, Mikasa's voice echoed. I enjoyed it and all, and it was the first time that he and I—

Nope. Levi's eyes widened and shook his head. Before he knew it, he was scrubbing the damn shelf now to pick back up the noise and not hear another word. Time to go. He tossed the rag into the sink, snatched his tea and some napkins, and forged his way out of the kitchen past their table. He was not gonna be in the background for this.

"Hmm, I see," Hange sighed and crossed her arms, pensive. She caught Levi's attention just as he was passing through, then gave him a widened look that screamed help out here, please?

The hell do you want me to do? Levi mouthed in silence as he stopped behind Mikasa. He glanced over at the woman's back, her raven hair turned down to the table in disdain. Then, he sighed in defeat. …Tea can wait. Levi closed the distance and stood at their table again. "Tch, Hange... If you needed proof that you're annoying as hell to be around, this is it," he scoffed. "She looks fucking miserable."

Before Hange snarked back, the two bickering friends heard Mikasa chuckle from behind the wall of her hair. She sniffled. Levi took the paper napkin from his pocket and awkwardly slid it to her on the table's surface. "…Thanks," Mikasa's voice muffled as she patted her eyes dry.

Levi nodded. "...Sure."

Hange blinked at him for a few moments. "You can sit, you know." She kicked her boot to the chair next to Mikasa, welcoming him to abandon the awkward stance.

"Was going to, anyway." His voice turned sharp to Hange as he plopped onto the seat and crossed his arms. "Anyway, thought you two were having… women chat."

"Girl talk," Hange wagged a finger at him. "...Mikasa?" She paused as if asking permission to talk to Levi about it.

"N-no…!" Mikasa jumped to the edge of her seat, then moved back in place. "I… don't want everyone to know…"

Levi scoffed, then cocked a brow. "What, about your feelings for Eren?" Mikasa stared wide at him, face flushed red, cheeks puffed with embarrassment. He smirked, finding it a little charming. "Hate to break it to you, but everyone's known since you brats joined cadet training years ago." Hange leaned back in her seat and smiled, too.

Mikasa covered her face. "W-what?! Is it that obvious to you all…?"

He caught the shy woman peeking through her fingers. Levi let his smile linger before he cleared his throat. "So it is about Eren, then. What'd the asshole do this time?"

Mikasa remained silent, finding patterns on the wooden table.

He gave a large sigh and gathered himself. "…Well look, I'm not gonna bring myself into a conversation if it makes you uncomfortable." A light tug at his sleeve stopped him just as he stood to leave. He looked down at gray eyes blinking right at him. The tips of his ears turned a subtle shade of red. "Hmm…?"

Mikasa gulped, then let go of his arm slowly. "Sorry, I'm just… You might think I'm being dramatic."

Hange chuckled as Levi slid back into his seat. Even she was surprised to see him so responsive to a subordinate.

"Try me," Levi smirked.

The young woman received an encouraging nod from Hange then took a deep breath, folding her hands in her lap. "Eren and I… We finally went on a date. It was... nice." She blushed like she was a little girl again, trying to hide the giddy smile that rose on her lips. "...We even kissed."

Ugh, so fucking gross. Levi wanted to roll his eyes, but he hid the slight wince of his face well enough. He leaned an elbow on the table, resting his chin against his palm. "Alright. So, you finally went out. It was a successful date, then," he said in a calculative way. The immediate shake of Hange's head confused him. He wondered if he'd gotten a detail wrong.

The smile faded from Mikasa's face just as quickly as it showed up. "Well, we did kiss… And I thought it meant he wanted to be with me. But the next day, Eren said he didn't feel anything. And that he's not sure that he ever would. He kissed me just to see if he'd finally feel something. And then…" Mikasa's gaze found the stone wall. "Nothing." She caught tears with the napkin again. "We've been through so much together. I'm the closest one in Eren's life. He knows everything about me and yet after all this time, he doesn't feel anything for me."

Levi wanted to blurt out, to insult Eren again. It didn't feel right to see Mikasa cry like this, and somehow Levi was on the defensive. But this was the most open and honest Mikasa had ever been in front of him, and by the look on Hange's face, it was the same for her. He bit his tongue and made sure to listen.

"I don't know… I just can't help but feel maybe like I didn't do enough for him, or that there's something wrong with me. Am I a bad kisser…?" She mumbled the last bit to herself, then shook her head in embarrassment. She shrugged her shoulders and gave a dismal laugh at herself. "...Maybe I'm just not attractive enough for him."

"You kidding me?" Levi burst out louder than intended, unable to contain his frustration. Without knowing it, he was on the edge of his seat, a fist clenched on the table. He didn't know why he was getting worked up; either way it was a little embarrassing to get caught up in someone else's love life like this. He leaned back into his chair and cleared his throat. "Look," he sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Incompatibility doesn't reflect shit. Just… Don't let Eren's ignorance affect how you see yourself."

Hange gave a thumbs up. "Yes! That is right, Mikasa," she nodded to Levi, affirming his advice.

But Mikasa was too heartbroken to listen. "...I'm sorry—it's just hard to feel very good about myself right now." She furrowed her brows and began to rip away at the napkin, rolling tiny paper balls onto her lap in frustration. Then, her face and eyes went dull.

Levi's expression softened as he watched her. He opened a palm to Mikasa, letting her place the paper debris one by one because he knew it'd relax her. When she was done, he placed a clean handkerchief onto her hand. Mikasa gave a half-effort smile in his direction and squeezed the cloth.

Hange adjusted her glasses, pushing them snug to her nose as something began to brew in her mind. "Hmm, I can see how this can affect one's confidence long-term… Yes…" A pensive moment passed, then it sparked: Hange had found her new experiment, and she found both the problem and a solution in front of her. "What you need is a confidence boost, Mikasa!" A finger pointed enthusiastically at Levi's face. "You! Levi! You're a man! Come on—what do you think of her?" The teasing grin on Hange's face was insufferable. "From the oh-so-superior perspective of a male, give the woman a compliment!"

"Hange—what? She's—I'm not gonna—that's—" Levi was too flustered to be annoyed at Hange's sarcasm. As if that would solve all of this, he thought. He gritted his teeth, regretting ever leaving the comfort of his room tonight. He couldn't get himself to look away from Hange—more so, he couldn't look Mikasa in the eyes after this... request.

Yet in his peripherals, he noticed Mikasa adjusting in her seat, straightening her posture, brushing her hair from her face. The hell? Is she actually expecting me to…

He gulped, eyes still forcibly locked onto Hange. "Okay. You're—"

"Don't look at me! Look at Mikasa!"

Damn you, Hange.

"Fine." He grudgingly turned enough to finally look at the woman of topic. "You're, um… Really strong."

…

"Pfffffffft!" Hange let out a laugh and banged against the table with a fist before standing to her feet. "What was that?!"

"What?! I gave her a compliment, didn't I?" Levi shrugged and crossed his arms, not before flinging a quick middle finger to Hange. In his peripherals he caught Mikasa slumping in her seat slightly; suddenly he felt like a fool.

"Levi, Levi, Levi…" Hange walked over to Mikasa, tsk-ing Levi along the way. "My friend! Captain of the Survey Corps! Humanity's Strongest, master of the battlefield! One of the most admired men of Paradis! The man who rose high from the depths of the Underground!" Always full of shit, Levi wanted to say, before Hange continued with an arm slung over Mikasa's shoulder. "Surely you can think of anything else for our dearest Mikasa who feels down in the dumps! Come on: think. And mean it."

"Alright, alright! Dammit…" He brushed off Hange. A strange warmth rose to his face as he stubbornly situated himself to face Mikasa, fully this time. This felt humiliating already; he just wanted to get this over with, otherwise he'd never hear the end of it.

He forced himself to meet Mikasa's eyes, swallowing the lump sitting in his throat. She looked just as embarrassed as him. But there was no time to deal with whatever the bubbling feeling in his chest was — Levi needed to find a proper answer in the next few seconds.

Still, it was clear that Mikasa was attentive to him now, anticipating anything he would say—not in a desperate way, but in a way that hoped something he'd say would somehow quell at least some of the self-doubt. She didn't want to feel like shit; no one does, especially not a woman in love. In fact, it was hard for Levi to think that someone like Mikasa could feel the terrible way she does about herself, all because of loving the wrong person.

Levi took a deep breath, and just… sat. He looked at Mikasa. Really looked at her this time. Had he ever gotten this opportunity?

Mikasa had swept her hair from her forehead, opening her soft profile much more than usual—she should wear her hair like this more often, he thought. The candle light glowed a warm wash of orange atop of her cheeks, countering the cool-tone of her ivory skin while bringing out the rare color of rain-soaked stone of her pupils. Her smooth skin had no bump, no flaw, no speck of dirt—now that he thought of it, Mikasa's face and skin always looked quite clean, which was unheard of for soldiers who flew around on dirt and trees and dusty roofs for a living. He studied the soft angles of her button nose and how they flattered her large, upturned eyes; Levi swore she had eyes like no other woman within the Walls of Paradis—they held stories and light and words she's never spoken of.

I don't know… I just can't help but feel like maybe I didn't do enough for him, or that there's something wrong with me. Am I a bad kisser…?

Her lips looked quite soft, too.

….Maybe I'm just not attractive enough for him.

Levi scrunched his brows as he imagined this is what Eren saw just some nights ago before rejecting her. Eren kissed her, and felt nothing. Levi wasn't dense — Mikasa was quite popular amongst the male Scouts even if she didn't realize it; he often got protective of her when they'd pass through Meetings together. It was wrong that she wasn't attractive.

Still, it was strange, he thought, that in all these shitty, terrible years fighting and surviving alongside each other, they'd never really gotten to just sit and see each other like this before — this uninterrupted gaze, no threat of the violent world waiting to steal them away, at least for now. His gaze softened.

…Maybe not all of those years with her were so terrible.

There were some good memories with her, too: a few warm meals here and there, cooked by Mikasa in the old remote cabin. A handful of amused laughs in the middle of banter with her, especially when he'd catch her picking up his own colorful language. Some sparring sessions with her that made him feel most alive. Levi remembered the time he caught a quick flash of Mikasa's widened smile as she watched Sasha accidentally eat a moldy potato. On two occasions, Mikasa had brought tea to his office when he wasn't feeling well; one of those times, he specifically remembered not even telling anyone he was ill.

Levi blinked and returned to reality, feeling the tension in his body slowly dissipate the more he silently formulated his answer.

It'd only been a few seconds since Hange's strange request, but time seemed to pass slowly the longer he looked at Mikasa. "Mikasa." For the first time, it felt delicate to say her name aloud, as if the sound itself could break in his throat if he didn't speak with enough care. But something pulled him to want to spill every thought racing in his mind — of her sleek black hair, her soft skin, the color of her eyes… But it was more than just her having a pretty face. There was much more than that. He could speak on everything else that made Mikasa her.

Instead, what left his mouth encompassed it all: "You're beautiful."

To me, he almost said, but that wasn't exactly true. Because Mikasa's beauty never waivered depending on how any man perceived her. She just was beautiful. And he wished it was possible to shift her entire world in just this conversation alone.

Levi gathered enough in him to watch for Mikasa's reaction—he noticed her face turn the color of the scarlet garment beneath her chin, and it was enough for him to know that she must have heard the honesty behind his quiet voice; that this wasn't just some bullshit he was spewing to make her feel better, get out of the conversation and enjoy his shitty tea in the dark of his room. That alone felt like a victory.

Just as he looked away, he caught the slight curl of Mikasa's lips form into the faintest, shyest of smiles.

"…THERE YOU GO, Levi!" Hange said with her hands in the air, clapping like she was watching a show. She nudged Levi's shoulder, voice softening to egg him on. "Keep it going! Compliment your favorite feature of hers!"

Mikasa waved frantically, completely embarrassed. "Ah, please, it's okay, Hange, Captain doesn't have to—"

"Your eyes," Levi answered immediately. The sureness in his voice this time made Mikasa freeze once more. "They're… nice." He said it so plainly, so effortlessly, never breaking eye contact with her. His chest tightened, but Levi couldn't stop himself now—not while these words were coming to him this easily, rolling off of his tongue slowly. "You have very pretty eyes, Mikasa. They're kind, and honest. I can't look away sometimes."

And he was right. Levi couldn't count how many instances he'd catch himself locked onto Mikasa during training, or across the Mess Hall. He paid more attention when she'd speak at meetings. He noticed whenever she'd trim her bangs messily. Somehow he discovered her favorite drink was lavender tea because it reminded her of her parents. He never was able to put a word to it. It was something of a mix of trust and respect, of admiration; a culmination of the years they built together as captain and soldier, as human and human... As a man, and a woman.

Levi and Mikasa held their gaze and let it linger, unmoving through the palpable shift of the night. Excited squeals drowned out in the background.

For a moment, Levi wanted to run—maybe he had said too much, maybe it would be the responsible thing to take it all back, to retreat with some snarky comment and laugh this whole night off. Maybe.

But seeing the way Mikasa's self-doubt suddenly melted away, even for just this moment, made him back down from all inhibitions. No thoughts about this war, about losing people, about his responsibilities, about his ranking or hers. He could see his simple words swirl in Mikasa's mind, leaving traces of warmth in the smile of her eyes, drying tears that fell not long ago. It was enough to make him stay.

And if Eren Jaeger wasn't the one who was going to say it tonight, Levi decided to be the one. Mikasa is really damn beautiful. A woman like that deserved better—not go on shitty dates with someone who treats her like a sibling, not empty kisses, not meaningless touches that make her feel unattractive, unloved. But what a fucking loss, Eren. Because bringing Mikasa Ackerman to see herself truthfully felt like leaving the Walls and looking to the open lands and sky for the first time. It was beautiful, it was thrilling, it was absolutely terrifying for reasons he couldn't name.

A sudden touch of Mikasa's hand as it found his, and he was fully hypnotized as if he wasn't already. Whatever this confusing, weighted feeling was, it was strange—he wanted to sink deeper. Levi opened his mouth to speak again, his expression more tender than when he'd first sat down. "Mikasa… I…"

"Yes…?" The glimmer in Mikasa's eyes revealed her curiosity. Her graceful face softened with understanding, as if she knew something before Levi could piece it together. She blinked a few times, and her lips—those soft lips—parted ever so slightly as she tilted her head. "Captain…?" At the edge of her seat, knees brushing against his, squeezing his hand, Mikasa's whispering voice was delicate, longing, almost hopeful, as if begging him to please. just. say. it.

He wanted to. His gut begged him to. But his mind turned foggy as he drifted forward, mirroring the way Mikasa's half-lidded eyes faded to a close at his approach, welcoming him in. She became warmth, radiating from the apples of her cheeks against his hovering lips like a magnetic pull he wouldn't even consider fighting himself out of. He wondered if she'd turn away to reject him, yet her hand tracing his arm answered the question Levi was too afraid to ask. Mikasa's gentle tug at his shirt was all it took for him to finally answer her back with a kiss.

Her lips were just as soft as he'd imagined; he could taste sweetness, that she enjoyed the same peppermint tea in these late nights, too; somehow she'd made this familiar flavor so intoxicating and new. Mikasa lingered on his bottom lip as they pulled away slowly, his hand found her cheek to reel her back—

"SEE, CAPTAIN LEVI?!" Hange's hand on his shoulder pulled him back to reality. She snickered watching both snap out of it, quickly recoiling from each other. "Now was that so hard? And you! Mikasa!" She pointed a finger at the dark-haired woman. "Now clearly you know that it's not because you're unattractive, and certainly not because you're a bad kisser!" Patting them both on the head, Hange stretched up towards the ceiling. "Eren might simply just be a young boy dumb as rocks!"

Mikasa's face was even redder than before — there were too many things happening all at once. "Ah—y-yes… I suppose…" she answered Hange, distracted as Levi stood abruptly with a hand dragged over his face.

Levi jumped to escape, because what the fuck did I just do? But Hange's hands caught his shoulders and shoved him back into his seat with a grunt. He was surprised the chair didn't break. Before anything else, Hange made her escape towards the exit of the Mess Hall.

"Oi—what the hell—where are you going?!" Levi seemed to be nervously redirecting.

"Oh, don't mind me! I need to pee, plus it's getting late anyway! Carry on, now! Goodnight!" She fluttered a hand in the air and was too far away already to let them see her sheepish grin. A small too-da-loo faded down the hall before the door slammed shut.