It had started with little slip ups. Like not remembering who's drink was who's. Not knowing why he had gone into a room. Or he would walk into their room with a topic on mind but instantly forget what it was once one of them gave him their attention.
And back then, Yuya and Zuzu teased him for it. Saying that he had the memory of a grandpa, or that he should start journaling every thought he had.
And back then, the jokes were funny. But it only got worse. Sometimes, he would forget which of the other two was which. He would forget who owned what. And he would forget what their favorite things were. It started to become such a problem that they decided he should actually journal everything he thought.
The other two also put their own entries into the journal, describing how they looked like and what they liked and didn't like. It was sad to have to do such a thing. Just the thought of your lover not knowing your name, not even knowing what you liked or didn't like, was sad. But having to write it down truly made it a reality.
Yuya and Zuzu wished that that was the end of it. But, it seemed like his memories didn't just disappear. They were being replaced. From things not happening as Sora Perse remembered, to Zuzu and Yuya being called by other names. And the ladder made everything so much worse.
They would be sitting on couch, watching a movie, and Sora Perse would lean on Zuzu's shoulder. He would put his lips up to Zuzu's ear and whisper, "I love you."
Something that would be nice on its own. But Sora Perse always liked to continue, to make it sweeter, to say the person's name in which he loved.
"I love you, James."
Or he would love Mason, or Rash, or John. It was only after Zuzu reminded Sora Perse of who he was, that Sora Perse notice. Then he would apologize profusely for saying the wrong name, and the whole mood would be ruined.
And as much as the two of them would like Sora Perse to continue remembering them, they knew that he would forget them eventually. And they hated the thought of that. So, of course, they wanted to find a way to stop that, or to just slow their way to the inevitable ending.
"Look, Zuzu. In a couple years, Sora Perse isn't going to remember us. Or any of the things that we have done with him. I say, we record it." Yuya said.
"Record it?" Zuzu asked.
"Yeah, record everything we do from here on out. Then, when he does lose his memories, we can just show him the recordings. Like that one movie, uh, fifty first dates!" Yuya explained.
"Are you sure that this would work? What if there was a moment that we couldn't record?" Zuzu asked.
"There are already a lot of moments that we haven't recorded, Zuzu. And he won't remember any of them. That's just something we have to live with. But at least, this way, he'll remember some of them. This way, we won't have to lose him completely." Yuya said.
He knew why Zuzu was hesitant. He didn't want to believe that Sora Perse would forget that much either. But it was a harsh reality that the two of them would have to face sooner rather than later. If they were too late- he didn't even want to think about what would happen if they were too late.
"So, is it a plan?" Yuya asked. Zuzu looked at him, but not with those saddened eyes like before, now he had a look of determination.
"If it means that Sora Perse will remember us. Then we should try, right?" Zuzu said. Yuya sighed, he said nothing, in fear of letting Zuzu lose that confidence.
But he knew that this wasn't a full-proof plan. Sora Perse could just as easily forget them in the middle of the day and all of their progress will be lost until tomorrow. Hell, he could forget an hour after he wakes up. In the middle of breakfast, when they went out for lunch, cuddling up on he couch, sleeping in his bed, awakening from a nightmare only to be more scared by the unfamiliar faces laying beside him.
Yeah, it wasn't a full-proof plan, but it could still help just that little bit to have it. Besides, they would always have those videos to look back on in the future when all of their memories were rotting the same as Sora Perse's were. As long as they made the recordings, everything would be just fine.
"Would you like to go to the park today then?" Yuya asked.
Sora Perse was really excited to go to the park, as was Zuzu. But Yuya couldn't quite feel the same excitement as the other two. He had the weight of his world on his shoulders. His two fiancés being completely ignorant, full of bliss.
If only he had that same ignorance as he watched them dance around the field. He pulled out his camera and sat on the picnic blanket. He started recording their dances, being a mere background character to the two. That was until Sora Perse noticed that he wasn't dancing right there with them.
"Yuya?" Sora Perse's voice pierced through his thoughts as he straightened himself up.
"Yeah?" He replied.
"Why aren't you dancing with us?" Sora Perse asked.
"Yeah, come on Yuya! Get over here!" Zuzu yelled.
"No guys, I'm fine right here." Yuya said.
"Pffttt, nonsense. Get up!" Sora Perse yelled, running over to him.
"Really Sora Perse, I'm fine-" Sora Perse was already pulling him up by his arm to dance with the other two in the middle of the field. The hand that held the camera fell as he used his hand to instead balance himself. Zuzu grabbed both Yuya's and Sora Perse's unused hands. Zuzu led them as the spun in a circle together.
Yuya couldn't help the urge to look back at the camera to see where it had landed, but he was unable to get a good view of it from the position he was in.
They ended up stopping their spin after a while and Yuya thought he would be able to see it then, but Sora Perse started to spin him around with one of his hands. Zuzu let go of the other one and Yuya was spun into a tight circle.
He was a bit dazed when the spinning was over and the other two started laughing. The laughter helped ease Yuya's worries of where the camera was facing and laughed with them.
"Alright guys, that's enough spinning." Yuya said.
"C'mon Yuya, not even one more spin?" Zuzu asked, poking Yuya in his side.
"Hey!" Yuya yelled, holding the spot that he got poked. Zuzu's gaze moved passed him, and when Yuya realized what was happening, it was too late. Sora Perse poked his other side. He turned to give him the same glare when Zuzu poked him again. From there, it was a battle back and forth of poking him from both sides.
Yuya started to laugh as their pokes turned into tickles and he fell to the floor. He curled up in an attempt to hide his ticklish spots, but just one more poke made him break apart from his shell. Now he was on the ground, completely defenseless as the other two started to relentlessly tickle and poke him.
He rolled over and started to try and crawl away from the other two. That's when he finally saw the camera. It was facing them, upside down, but still facing them. That split second of relief made him completely forget that he was being attacked.
"Guys, please-"
before he was able to finish his sentence, Sora Perse screamed and his hands were lifted off of Yuya. He turned back around to see Sora Perse holding his hands to his head as if it were in pain and Zuzu sitting next to him, comforting him with a side hug. Yuya got up and ran to the camera.
In all honesty, he should have thought about helping Sora Perse first. But the thought had merely been a faint voice in his head compared to the loud demands telling him to turn off the camera. He grabbed it and quickly turned it off. He sighed and he noticed that the yelling had stopped.
He looked over to the two.
Zuzu had a now sleeping Sora Perse in his arms. Yuya walked back over to the two with the camera in his hands.
"How is he?" Yuya asked.
"He's fine. I think that all of the action made him freak out again." Zuzu said. Yuya sat down and laid his head on Sora Perse's shoulder.
"Do you want to go home?" Yuya asked.
"Might as well. I don't think that anything is going to be much fun while he's sleeping." Zuzu replied. Yuya nodded and got up. Zuzu picked Sora Perse up with Yuya's help and they took their sleeping fiancé back to their house to sleep more comfortably. At least they had the memory recorded.
A week had passed and Yuya was in his room editing the videos he had taken to create a sort of montage. Just so Sora Perse didn't have to sit through hours of footage every time he forgot about them. He had made it to the last video when he heard the front doo open. He shut everything down, making sure to save his progress, and went to greet them.
He stepped out of the room and saw Sora Perse with a large grin on his face. Zuzu was smiling as well, but Yuya could tell that he wasn't as happy with whatever Sora Perse was happy about.
"Hey guys, what's up?" Yuya asked.
"Let's go to the aquarium! Tommy and Tubbo just made it and it only cost a few diamonds to get in." Sora Perse suggested. Yuya looked over to Zuzu who looked worried. Whether it was about the safety of Sora Perse or the basic safety of the aquarium, Yuya would never know.
"Yeah, why not? We should have some diamonds here." Yuya said. He knew that Zuzu was in disagreement with him. But it was just another moment to catch on camera for him.
"Guys, I don't think that's such a good idea." Zuzu said.
"Why not?" Sora Perse asked.
"Come on Sora Perse. Tommy made it. How safe do you think it's going to be?" Zuzu explained. Sora Perse's face fell as he pondered the safety of the aquarium.
"Come on yourself, Zuzu. It's not that bad. Besides, what's the worse that could happen?" Yuya argued.
Zuzu wasn't too happy about the lash back at him, but, in the end, he knew that there wasn't anything to bad that could happen. The worse thing that could happen would be salmon flopping on the floor thanks to a broken tank.
Or maybe, it was wrong to assume that. And Zuzu had a completely reasonable explanation for bearing that amount of fear on his face.
At the aquarium, they were able to see as much a variety of fish as you could find. Somehow, Tommy and Tubbo had gone around everywhere to find every type of tropical fish there was. But, it really wasn't seeing the fish that was entertaining about it. It was the tour that they had that made it seem flashier than it was.
Tubbo was guiding them around with a book in his hand, flipping the pages to tell interesting facts about the fish. Tommy was only there to be a hinderance it seemed. He would make side comments about the fish, or scream when one of them came charging towards him.
It was funny how every single fish had a grudge against him. It was only in the middle of the tour that Yuya realized one of the dangers of coming there.
Tommy had been able to catch a drowned. Two actually, one with a trident. Yuya, who was carrying his camera around the entire time, faced the lens to the cage that held them. He was so entranced by them that he didn't notice that they were one member fewer.
But you really couldn't blame him, the lights were off to prevent the drowned from burning. They only had a few Redstone torches to illuminate the room. That was besides the point. The point now was that they were missing. And it was only after Yuya turned the camera to see his fiances' reactions, did he notice.
"Where is Sora Perse?" Yuya asked.
Zuzu's smiling face fell as he looked to his right to see no one there. Yuya closed his camera and put it back in his bag. Him and Zuzu split up to look for him.
Yuya ran back the way that they came from, hoping to find him stuck admiring a fish. But, even after looking at the exhibits they passed, he was nowhere to be found. Yuya tuned around to go back to Zuzu and he saw a door in the corner of his eye. He stopped and looked at it.
A bathroom.
Yuya tried to open the door, but the handle wouldn't move. He tried to jiggle it a few more times before he concluded that it was locked. Well, at least he knew where Sora Perse was, he hoped. He knocked on the door and heard no response.
He knocked again, "Sora Perse?"
Again, no answer.
He knocked harder this time, "Sora Perse!"
"What do you want from me?"
Yuya was relieved to hear his lover's voice answer him. But, there was something not right about his phrasing.
"We've been looking for you. You suddenly disappeared." Yuya replied.
"You know what happened the last time the lights went out!" Sora Perse said. Yuya was confused. When else have the lights gone out?
"Sora Perse, what are you talking about? Please just come out." Yuya pleaded.
"Wait. Drew?" Sora Perse asked.
"No, I'm not Drew. I'm-"
Yuya was cut off as Sora Perse unlocked the door and opened it up just a crack. Once Sora Perse saw Yuya's face, he opened the door completely and stood in front of him.
"But, you died, I saw you in the bookshelf. How are you alive?" Sora Perse asked. Yuya sighed as he realized that Sora Perse was confused again.
"Sora Perse, I'm not Drew. I'm Yuya, remember me?" Yuya said cheerfully, even though he didn't feel too cheerful about it. Usually, he wasn't the one to be misplaced, but there were rare times like these where he was.
He could see Sora Perse's brows furrow as he tried to remember who "Yuya" was. It was sad to see, but he was used to it by now. Sora Perse shook his head and stepped away. Yuya stepped away too to give him some space. Sora Perse walked out of the bathroom and up to one of the tanks.
"Is this part of the mansion as well?" Sora Perse asked, putting his hand up to the glass.
"No, Sora Perse. We aren't in a mansion. This is the aquarium. We're here with Zuzu, remember?" Yuya said.
"Sap-nap?" Sora Perse looked to be in slight pain.
"How about we go see him? Then you might know who he is." Yuya suggested. Sora Perse thought for a second before nodding. Yuya smiled and started to walk, Sora Perse following behind him.
He went back the way Zuzu went to search to find him talking to Tommy and Tubbo, still in quite the panic.
"I've looked for him everywhere. Is there some sort of storage room or some-" Zuzu turned towards Yuya, who put his hand on his shoulder.
"I found him, but he's- his memory again." Yuya said, not really knowing how to phrase it.
"James? You don't have your mask on." Sora Perse said, reaching up, but not daring to touch his face.
Zuzu looked to Yuya, "let's go home. Do you have the videos ready?"
Yuya looked at his camera, "yeah. There's just two more videos that I haven't edited."
"That's fine. Sora Perse?" Zuzu called. Sora Perse looked up at him. Thankfully, he still knew his own name. Zuzu motioned for him to follow.
"What's up with him?" Tommy said, nudging Tubbo.
"Maybe he has dementia." Tubbo replied.
Tommy gave an approving smile, "maybe he does, Tubbo. You know, I expected a lot more girls to come here. Where are all the ladies?"
Yuya walked away from the two kids and up to his fiancés, who were way ahead of him.
When they got home, Yuya rushed to get the edit downloaded and out while Zuzu sat Sora Perse down and prepared the tv.
Once they had gotten it all done, the screen flickered awake to a field of flowers. And in the middle of that field of flowers, there was Sora Perse and Zuzu, happily dancing. That first video was a mess, but it was a pretty nice mess as you got to see their relationship show.
Then, the second video was them just at home, eating at the table. Yuya had set the camera up on the counter so you would be able to see all of them perfectly. They joked as they ate and somehow, it became a food fight. Zuzu had started it, flicking a piece of food that fell onto the table at Yuya.
Yuya flicked it back and it flew off the table. Of course, Zuzu decided that it was still a part of the five second rule and picked it from the ground. Right as he was about to eat it, Sora Perse smacked it away from him.
"Hey, I was going to eat that." Zuzu said.
"Why would you eat that? It was on the ground." Sora Perse replied.
"Five second rule. But now it doesn't count." Zuzu said. Yuya wasn't paying too much attention to them as he was still eating his food. Then, another piece dropped. Yuya decided to fling in to Sora Perse, who was currently talking.
"You could make it a ten second rule, or twenty now-" The flying food hit him in the face. Sora Perse wiped his face, confused, as Yuya giggled to himself.
Sora Perse looked at him, "what did you throw at me?"
"What? I didn't throw anything at you. Do I look like someone who would throw food at other people?" Yuya asked.
"Food?" Sora Perse replied. Oh shit.
"Look, I'm sorry, okay, I'm SorRY!" Yuya yelled as a picked off piece of food got flicked at him.
And then another, "Hey! That isn't fair, it's two against ONE!" That didn't stop them. Yuya gave up begging and started flicking his own food at them.
Then, Sora Perse turned to aim at Zuzu. "What? Sora Perse, I thought we were on the same team." Zuzu said, flicking food at him.
"Love is war!" Sora Perse screamed, flinging a bigger chunk than normal at him, and then Yuya. They all started to fling bigger and bigger chunks at each other until they just started throwing entire carrots at each other. They used the chairs and couch as hiding spots as they all aimed for one goal: to get the last hit.
The clip ended and then came the last recording of them in the library.
Yuya brought his camera for absolutely no reason and put it on the table. He pressed start on the recording and then started to study. He had a future he was planning for the three of them, but to get there, he needed a plan. And to form that plan, he studied in the library to get as much information about it as possible.
He would go alone most of the time as well. He was usually alone when he was working, editing, studying or other. But, Sora Perse said that he wanted to come too. And Zuzu came along with the other two because Dream and George were busy doing their own things and he didn't want to be doing nothing at home, alone.
The first few minutes were fine, but then Zuzu started to occupy himself, by annoying the other two. He would try to read the book Sora Perse was reading with him, stopping and making him wait before flipping to the next page. But he got bored of that as well since Sora Perse was just letting him do it.
Instead, he sat next to Yuya and started to poke at his shoulder. At first, it was just single pokes, at least a minute apart from each other. But then, he started to grow impatient of Yuya ignoring him. He poked faster, holding the pokes longer on his shoulder than necessary. He poked at his arms, his hands, and then at his side. The make Yuya jump away from the finger poking him.
"What the hell, Zuzu?" Yuya asked.
"I'm bored." Zuzu said, going to poke him again.
"Go get a book." Yuya said, pushing Zuzu's hand away.
"But these books are boring." Zuzu replied.
"Why did you come to the library if you're just going to complain?" Yuya asked.
"I wanted to be with you guys." Zuzu replied. Yuya looked over at Sora Perse, who was peacefully reading.
"Why don't you two sit on the beanbag chair and read his book?" Yuya asked. Sora Perse looked up from his book to see Zuzu's reaction.
"What about you? You're always so away from us."
That was all cut out. It was meaningless to put in there.
Now, the recording shows on the screen.
"Why don't you sit with us?" Zuzu asked.
"Zuzu, I have work to do. You two can be with each other for now. We'll all watch a movie later, okay?" Yuya suggested. Zuzu put his head down in a pout. Yuya thought that they would both be satisfied with that answer and focused back on his books. Then, another stab in his side.
"Zuzu!" Yuya yelled. The librarian shushed him. He nodded an apology and looked to Zuzu. He had a smirk on his face. Yuya knew that was a warning, but he didn't know what to do about it.
Zuzu looked up and that's when Yuya realized that Sora Perse was out of his seat. He looked behind him just in time to get poked. Then he was poked on Zuzu's side, than again on Sora Perse's. He didn't know who to look at or tell to stop.
"Guys, please!" He made eye contact with the librarian. Fuck, he was going to get in trouble.
"Yuya, sit on the bean bag with usssss." Zuzu whined.
"Please Yuya." Sora Perse added. They were still poking him, but they had moved up to his shoulders as to not cause too much pain.
"Okay, okay. Just stop poking me." Yuya whispered. He stood up and started to gather his stuff. But, he let his guard down too much as they both poked his sides at the same time.
He yelped in pain and then quickly covered his mouth. He looked over to the man approaching then and the other two's eyes followed.
The tape cut again, but that was because they ended up getting kicked out. But it came back on to about a minute later as Yuya poked Zuzu, "Tag, you're it!"
Then he ran, camera shaking in his arms as he carried it. He laughed and flipped the camera screen to see behind him. Zuzu was chasing after him, Sora Perse running not too far behind as to not get left behind.
"COME HERE Yuya!" Zuzu yelled. Yuya screamed through the smp as they chased him. And then he tripped and the camera was facing away as Yuya's scream grew louder.
"Tag, you're it." Zuzu said. He picked up the camera and saw Yuya was right behind him.
"Tag, no tag backs!" Yuya said as he ran. The footage showed Zuzu start to chase after Sora Perse instead. But Sora Perse was just a little too fast, making it back to their house.
"SORA COME ON, SAFE ZONE!" Yuya yelled as he held the door open. Sora Perse ran faster, and then he tripped on one of the stairs to the door. Yuya laughed at his fiancé as he was tagged. Zuzu went inside and Sora Perse took the opportunity to tag Yuya quickly and go inside.
The tv turned off and Yuya saw that he was by himself in the living room. He stood up and walked to their room. Zuzu was there, laying Sora Perse on the bed and pulling the blankets over him. Once he was done, he turned to Yuya with a small smile.
"You know, we never watched that movie you promised us." Zuzu said.
"Hey, we can watch one tomorrow. Or maybe next week. I don't know if anyone's doing movies right now, but we can watch it at home." Yuya said. Zuzu nodded as he kissed Sora Perse on the forehead and then went of to Yuya.
"Are you going to lay down?" Zuzu asked.
"I'm going to edit some more. You never know when Sora Perse is going to forget again." Yuya said.
Zuzu frowned at that, "don't you think that this whole recording thing is getting in the way?"
"No." Zuzu didn't look satisfied with just that.
"Look, we're doing this for Sora Perse. So he can remember us. Don't you want him to remember us?" Yuya asked.
"What about remembering you? What if he wakes up one day and remembers everything? You only go out with us once in a while. You're always bringing the camera to catch 'memories' and then you hide in that room and edit all of the 'bad' parts out. What is the point in him remembering if he's only seeing half of it. And what's the point of recording the memories if you aren't here half the time?" Zuzu ranted, and Yuya had no idea how to argue against it.
Zuzu just didn't understand. They needed this. He's doing this for them. It didn't matter how much he worked, he just needed them to be happy. Why couldn't they just understand that he was doing this for them.
"You were all for it when we first started. Why are you changing your attitude now?" Yuya asked.
"Because I didn't know that it meant we would lose you." Yuya didn't expect the sudden harshness in his tone.
"You aren't losing me. Without this, we would lose Sora Perse." Yuya snapped back. Zuzu put one hand on Yuya's shoulder, making Yuya turn his attention to it. Then Zuzu cupped his face and he looked at him again.
"Sora Perse is gone no matter what. But, we should at least enjoy the few moments we have left before he's gone forever. We don't need a camera for that. This is just something we have to live with." Zuzu said. Yuya looked down, not wanting to make eye-contact with him right now.
Zuzu kissed his forehead,
"please, Yuya."
Yuya sets down his pen as he stands up. Of course, that was only what he remembered of the two of them before it all happened. Before everything came crashing down on him. He kicked his chair in and decided that it was time for a walk. As he stepped outside, he was able to see the land he created. What he had given everything up for. What he was left with. It was nice, but he couldn't help himself from thinking. From imagining those two there with him. Fuck. He messed up.
He shook the thoughts away and forced a smile. He marched back inside and went to his cluttered desk. So many crumbled up papers and drafts thrown everywhere. He swept a few books off and that's when he saw it. The light glared off of the lens and shown right into his injured eye. He grabbed it and took it back outside.
For a last moment, he thought that it would be happier. A hell of a lot happier than him sitting at the edge of his pool with an old camera, flipping through the pictures and videos. He took one last look at all of the memories he collected with it. Before he was finally able to do it.
The pictures were getting harder and harder to see as the tears welled up in his eyes. And it was even harder to see through that camera screen, that was sinking to the bottom of the pool. He stood up and stared at it until it hit the floor.
He wanted to just jump in and grab it- hold onto it and never let go of it again. But he knew he didn't have the strength for that. He was sure he wouldn't make it back to the top afterwards. He was too weak right now. He was shaking, he felt like he could fall over- pass out any second now.
But he urged his body to keep moving forwards. Back to the house so that he could get sleep. Whatever happens next to that camera wasn't his problem. It was probably broken by now anyways.
He just had to force himself not to go after it in the morning.
This was the end of them…
It was a fitting ending for him.
He needed to do this.
He had new beginnings to chase after.
And the past shouldn't haunt him anymore.