Author's Note: This chapter contains mentions of self-harm.
Cartman slowly trudged his way off the school bus and stepped onto the ground, his boots sinking deeply into the snow. Kenny had gone to great lengths on the ride home to remind Cartman of his "Magic: The Gathering" tournament on Friday, begging him not to forget to come. He had also invited Cartman over to his house on Wednesday night, ostensibly to study, though he suspected Kenny had recently purchased a new porno movie that he wanted to show off. Cartman understood why Kenny always wanted to hang out with him, and, much to his chagrin, he figured it had little to do with his dashing good looks. Kenny had something of a difficult time keeping friends due to his lecherous behavior, to the point where even Stan and Kyle had become more distant. Cartman had never left his side, though, and never planned on it. Kenny had supported him during his darkest times, and he'd be damned sooner than turn his back on him now.
As Cartman made the brief journey to his house, he reflected on just what Kenny had done for him. It had happened during freshman year of high school. Cartman and Heidi had broken up for what seemed like the millionth time, and she had gone out of her way to embarrass and humiliate him in any way she could. Additionally, his mom had been dabbling in harder and harder drugs, resulting in him finding her passed out more often than not when he came home. To pile on even further, his nightmares had gotten increasingly more horrific as the nights went on. All of this resulted in him becoming deeply withdrawn from his friends. Normally, he would cheer himself up by roping his friend Butters Stotch into one of his never-ending schemes, but this was no longer an option. Butters had moved away at the end of Eighth grade, leaving Cartman with few alternatives. No one seemed to be paying any attention at all. He began to believe that his life would never get better, deciding that it would be best to just end it all.
However, someone had been paying attention. Late one night, Cartman sat at the edge of his bed, hastily scribbling out a note with his final goodbye on it. After he finished, he tucked the note neatly under his pillow, replacing the gun that he'd kept stored under there for it. He then tenuously placed the barrel of his gun in this mouth. Before he could fire though, a strange figure burst into his room.
"I'm the only one allowed to die around here," Spoke the figure, who lurched forward and pulled the gun from Cartman's grasp.
"…Kenny?" Cartman shouted, bewildered, "How did you-" Kenny quickly cut him off. This was one of the few times that Kenny had pulled down his hood around his friends.
"I've went through this exact scenario multiple times," Kenny answered, "Of course, it's never really worked out for me, but I've gotten good at recognizing the signs. I know you think that things seem hopeless right now, but that couldn't be further from the truth." Kenny placed a reassuring hand on Cartman's shoulder. "Having a curse like mine gives you a unique perspective on things," Kenny remarked, looking intently at Cartman, "Every problem that I've ended things over has gotten better with time." Cartman was dumbfounded. He truly believed that no one gave a shit about him anymore. "You think that no one will miss you, but trust me, if no one else in the world did, I still would." Kenny had a sharpness in his expression that Cartman had seen very rarely. The two friends then sat up and talked for what seemed like hours. They played video games until late in the night, and Kenny introduced him to his card game. "You have to come to my tournament tomorrow!" Kenny insisted, "I always play better when I have a friend watching my back."
From that point on, the two had become best friends. Cartman would tell Kenny about his nightmares, as well as his crush on Wendy, while Kenny had decided to permanently stop covering his face with his hood. These memories rested comfortably in the back of Cartman's mind, and they game him solace in dark times. His thoughts of Wendy also occupied his mind, as did the desire to confess his feelings. His mind cleared when he stepped into his house though, noticing that his mother was dressed in an exceptionally scant outfit.
"Hi sweetie!" Chirped his mother, a wide smile on her face. Cartman's mother, Liane, was quite a beautiful woman in her own right, though the years of illicit activities had worn on her face and body alike. Cartman also noticed that her black eye seemed to have disappeared, the area around her eyes caked with makeup. "Eric, mommy's going out on the town tonight!" She exclaimed cheerfully, "I've met with a wonderful new friend who's taking me to a lavish party!".
Cartman was no fool. He knew that she was lying, and this man was likely nothing more than another crack-addicted "John". However, he couldn't bring himself to mention her black eye, as she seemed to be making a mighty effort to ignore it. "Mommy made dinner for you!" Liane smiled, giving Cartman a light kiss on his cheek. Just then, Cartman heard the loud honking of a car horn outside. Liane quickly scurried out the door, waving goodbye to her son on the way. Cartman rushed to the window in an attempt to get a look at this "friend" of hers. What he saw sent chills down his spine. The shadowy man drove a black Cadillac and wore a dark pinstripe suit, though Cartman was far more alarmed by the tattoo emblazoned on the man's neck. Right there in front of him was the image from his nightmares, a three-headed, Cerberus-like dog.
Cartman was tempted to scream out to his mom and beg her to come home, but he knew deep down that is was useless. He instead slowly made his way into the kitchen and began to eat a slice of the pizza that his mom had baked. Afterwards, Cartman proceeded to the basement to work off some of the calories. Most of his workout involved deadlifts and bench presses, and he had managed to reach pretty impressive weights on both. He was now able to deadlift nearly 400 pounds, and could bench press over 230. He lifted for roughly an hour before returning upstairs. He relaxed for a time with some television, brewing a cup of black coffee to slowly sip as he flipped between channels. Around 9:00, Cartman retired to his bedroom to play some video games. He was intent on not falling asleep, as he feared what might happen in his dreams. Unfortunately, he would soon discover that he had no choice in the matter. Despite downing a total of three cups of strong coffee, Cartman found his eyes beginning to flutter around 2:00 in the morning.
When next he opened his eyes, the raging thunderstorm had returned. Gale-force winds pounded brutally against his house, and the rain was stronger than ever, now mixing with hail. Cartman knew very well that he was dreaming but had no recourse to stop it. The boy always felt a sense of dread during his nightmares, but this was the first time the feeling was fully concentrated inside his own bedroom. He knew something was waiting outside the bedroom door for him, and he cowered at the thought of the Cerberus-like creature returning. As these thoughts spun through his head, a tremendous *THUMP* slammed against his door. He stumbled back against his bed, goosebumps forming all over his body. An unsettling voice began to speak to him from the hallway.
"All you ever do is hide," The voice snarled, "You're worthless, pathetic, and you deserve nothing but pain." The low growl was a chorus of many voices, all speaking at once. Cartman recognized many of them: Stan, Kyle, Heidi, and his mother all numbered amongst the collective.
The creature behind the door began to slam against it harder and harder, the door barely holding together against the mighty force of its weight. Eventually, the door splintered into pieces and the beast slowly dragged itself into Cartman's room. Cartman could discern more details about the thing now than he could last night. Its body contained ghastly faces that resembled those of the voices that he heard, all of them groaning in agony every time the creature moved. Its limbs lacked anything resembling fingers or toes, but came to very sharp, blade-like points at their ends. Cartman once again found himself unable to move, as the three heads lurched forward to face him. "Your death this night will be far more than a dream." The beast growled, opening its jaws to reveal rows of razor-sharp teeth. The hideous odor was almost more than Cartman could bear. Cartman closed his eyes in fear, expecting the worst.
However, the worst never came. Something very strange occurred, instead. The wind suddenly died, and the rain abruptly stopped. It was eerily silent for what seemed like an eternity. Cartman pried open his eyes, noticing that the beast's glassy expression was now filled with terror. Behind him shone a brilliant, nearly blinding light. Out from the light stepped two figures, which Cartman could only describe as angels. Each bore a pair of massive wings and were dressed in pure white robes. One was male with golden hair, and the other was female with hair darker than the night. Both angels held swords in their hands that radiated all colors of flame around their blades. The creature began to hurriedly attempt to shuffle itself away from the two, but it proved futile. The angels both sunk their blades into the beast's rotted flesh, and the creature violently exploded into a thick red mist. Cartman was completely awestruck, and found himself unable to speak. The dark-haired angel then turned to face him, lifting him on to his feet.
"Call upon us in your darkest hour," Whispered the angel, her voice more beautiful than the sweetest music. She then placed a gentle kiss upon Cartman's lips before slowly fading from his view, alongside her male counterpart.
"Those two…" Cartman whispered to himself, "Could it be?"
Cartman woke from his dream, this time peacefully, a warm sensation coursing throughout his body. It had been one of the first pleasant dreams he had experienced in a very long time. He pondered to himself what it all could mean, and wished desperately that Kenny still had his phone. He simply had to tell someone about this one, but it seemed that it would have wait until morning. Surprisingly, Cartman found himself easily falling back asleep, and he suffered no more bad dreams for the rest of the night.
The morning came quickly, and Cartman found himself more rested than he had been for quite some time. He climbed out of his bed and readied himself for the school day, showering and putting his clothes on. He noticed that his mother had not returned during the night, which normally would have worried him, but it had been happening more and more frequently as of late. He decided to fry up some eggs and bacon for his breakfast and remarked about what a "kickass" chef he was. It had been a long time since he had felt a level of confidence like this. "Hell, I might even tell Wendy how I feel about her today!" He said proudly. Unfortunately for him, confessing his feelings to Wendy would prove to be far more of a challenge than he anticipated.