Chapter Ten

Beautiful Life

The Starship: Seattle Grace
Destination: The Colony World of Homestead II
Status: Docked
Crew: 258 awake
Passengers: 5,003 awake
Year: 3,525
(0 years to go...)

FEBRUARY 24 3489:
I told Mark today. He joined me for a swim, a big grin on his face. He looked so perfectly happy with our life. That's when I told him I was pregnant. He looked at me, like stared at me like I was kidding. Had it not even crossed his mind that this was a possibility? We hadn't talked about it. And before this, I was in med school. I was twenty-four, I wasn't even thinking about babies. I'd relegated that for me in ten years time to worry about. But times change. My life changed dramatically. So I guess my goals are different now, I want this. I want this with Mark, for us. Mark blinked a couple of times and then registered that his reaction was important. He kissed me, right there in the pool, staring out at space.

It was the next day that he came up to me and said he was excited. That he was totally down for this. That of course he wanted to be a dad, he just didn't think it would be this soon. I could see the excitement sparkle in his eyes. We are going to have a baby. My dad would be proud. God, I miss him. I wish I could see his face holding that baby. But I will get to see Mark's and maybe that's enough.

OCTOBER 25 3489:
Ethan George Grey-Sloan was born last night at 18:19. He weighed 6lbs 5oz. He is perfect in every single way. He has this mousy brown hair just like Mark's, and a button nose. I'm obviously exhausted and overtired but Mark is pitching in too and we are managing. Having robots on hand and lots of space and few dangers is helping, obviously we don't have jobs to go to so we can be there for him all the time. It's going to be a struggle finding all the baby stuff we need, I'm not sure there are actually any diapers on the ship, but I'm not sure. Mark is going to have a look in the cargo hold tomorrow. But this ship is not really built for raising babies, it's only supposed to house the passengers for four months whilst they fly into Homestead II. We are an anomaly. But Ethan is here now and we are going to have to make stuff I suspect. But we are resourceful and hopeful and it will be fine. Mark has already starting ripping up his shirts to make baby clothes.

MARCH 18 3495:
It's Maya's birthday today. I can't believe she's already four! She's getting so big, and her hair is growing, I can braid it properly now. It's a pity we can't send her off to Kindergarten with a little backpack, but we did take first day of school pictures because I couldn't resist. Maya wanted chocolate cake for her birthday so that's what she got, I have set up the cafeteria for cooking. Mark found the back entrance to a staff kitchen a few months ago and I've started baking with the kids just like my mom did with me when I little. Me and Molly always loved icing cupcakes together and licking the spoon.

There was another star slingshot today, just in time. Mark lifted Maya onto his shoulders so she could see from the observatory because I was holding the baby. Thatch has been colicky lately, and I don't know what's upsetting him but he definitely doesn't like the lights in the cafeteria, they're too bright. I can only take him in there when the night lights are on. But it's fine we can dim them in our room. But Maya's birthday was fine, good even. Ethan was excited about it, we let each of the kids plant their own flower in the Grand Concourse, we've got a row of them now. Mark got me a rose bush for Valentine's Day last year which I think is going to bloom nicely in a month or so. We're growing our own vegetables and I think in the summer Mark's thinking about getting some chickens from the hold so we can have fresh eggs. We'll let the kids name them and then they can collect the eggs in the mornings.

Mark's also been doing a bit of tinkering and he thinks he can get the restaurant robots to move things around for us, like worker robots. It's a nice little stronghold we have here. I can't believe it's been almost ten years since Mark woke up. We'll have to do something to celebrate, though I'll talk to him first, I'm not sure if he actually wants to remember it.

"Do you think you'll still look for her Lex?" Mark asked one night, his head across the pillow, his arms above his head. She was laying on his chest.

"I think so. But not because I need to, because I want to. I don't feel like I need to know her the way I used to. I don't feel like there are pieces missing anymore. I used to think Meredith was some kind of replacement for my mom after she died. But now I just want to meet her the way anyone wants to meet their hero, mine just happens to be my sister." Lexie replied, maybe she was more long winded than she thought she was going to be, but they were like that now. She knew she could be open and honest with Mark. That there was no one else quite like him, and no one else understood her quite the way he did.

"And I'll be there with you." He whispered into the dark, before falling asleep. The baby was keeping them up and he wasn't as young as he used to be. Lexie thought about that a lot. She kept doing the math, how old Mark would be when they arrived on Homestead II. It didn't matter to her how old he was, she'd always love him. But the older and more tired out he got, the more she started to think about their future. She could still be a surgeon when they arrived, if she wanted. But she was beginning to think she didn't want that. These past few years of self-sufficiency had been like some sort of dream. Where she didn't have to be competitive, and everything worked together.

"Race you?" Ethan said, his voice just dropping so certain words came out a little squeaky.

Maya ran after him, then past him, hitting the wall before her brother did. "Haha yes! I win." She said in celebration.

"Guys, wait up, please." Thatch said, trudging after them. "My legs are not long enough." He finally caught up with them at the wall, panting and tapping it repeatedly until Ethan relented. Then Thatch looked up, his dark eyes shielded behind a wall of black hair. "Race you back?" Then he ran. He bolted past his siblings back down the deck until they all came to a stop in front of the fountain in the Concourse. He slapped his hand through the water and declared himself the best winner who ever lived.

Lexie walked into the room carrying a crate of apples, "mom," Ethan wined. "Thatch is cheating again." The boy himself walked over and stood next to her, her hand roughing up his hair.

"No, I think he's just using his initiative. He's my big strong boy." She said, then shewed him towards the cafeteria. She stepped forward looking at Ethan in his big blue eyes. "Look, he's a lot smaller than you two, just let him win sometimes yeah? Or dad'll start racing against you again." Ethan groaned, they never won against dad. Ever.

"Okay fine. But he doesn't need us to let him win, he's pretty good at doing it himself."

Lexie walked over to him and ruffled his hair too, "your a good boy too, you know that."

Ethan shook her off, pretending that he didn't like it. "I'm not a boy, mom. I'm almost sixteen."

"No, I 'spose not. But you'll always be my baby. Go on, go help dad with the carrots." She pointed past them to where Mark was ruthlessly trying to pull carrots out the veg box. His face was flushed, the veins in his arms standing up as he pulled. Ethan walked over, sulking a little. Lexie put the crate down and bent down to fix the slight dent in the water system.

"Ethan STOP!" Maya was yelling, Mark came running into the room. Ethan had his fists on the wall, his knuckles bruised and bleeding. "Dad do something," Maya said before running out of the room.

Mark stood with his hands up, he approached his son slowly. "Just stop hitting the wall for me. Please son just come away from the wall." Ethan turned to face him, tears running down both cheeks. There was a small blood stain on the space grey wall, but it wasn't damaged. Ethan's hands were another story. He looked like he'd been in a fist fight.

"It's not fair!" He said, spittle flying from his mouth as his face screwed up. More tears flowed. "Twenty years dad. We're stuck here for twenty years! How is that fair?! How could you do this to us?" He was so upset he couldn't process properly what he was saying. Mark straightened up, taking a step back. He realised this was his fault. That they were treading a fine line here. This was the point that Ethan either forgave them or estranged from them for good. Mark was thinking about how the separation would destroy him. Ethan would drop away from them, forever blaming them for what they'd done. There weren't any parenting books for this situation.

"It's not fair. It isn't. I'm sorry Ethan, I really am. I don't know what else to tell you, other than we love you. Your mom and me, we love you so much." Mark said, sitting down on his son's bed, he couldn't bare to see him so torn apart. "I think you need to talk to your mom."

Ethan sat on a chair in the med bay. Lexie was cleaning his hands with rubbing alcohol and antiseptic cream, it wasn't really necessary because of the surface he was hitting, but she didn't want to take any chances. She bandaged his hands carefully, snipping the end of the material with a pair of sharp scissors. "Do you know why your dad sent you to talk to me?" She asked him quietly, she was trying not to let her emotions show too much in front of him. This was his moment to grieve, not hers.

Ethan shook his head, his voice was brittle from crying. "We never told you, to protect you. To make sure that you never did it to anyone else. But your dad woke me up. It wasn't a pod failure, he shorted out the fuse in my pod. I was so angry when I found out."

Ethan looked up through his tears, "why did he do it mom? How could he do that to you?"

Lexie sighed, she didn't like thinking about it. But with time the wound had healed, the pain had lessened. Her time with Mark had closed the cut. "He was alone. His pod failed and he was alone for a year. Now, your dad, he hates being alone."

"He isn't alone anymore." Ethan said, looking up and finding Lexie's eyes. She smiled, her sweet boy was still in there, he was just hurting. But he would heal like the bruises on his hands.

SEPTEMBER 1 3525:
It was a good life really. Everything we built here was good. We had a good life. Forty years doesn't seem so long when you fill it, does it? I don't feel old, I feel full of life. I have Mark to thank for that. But also my own strength and the strength of my kids, without them I don't think I'd still be here. Somewhere along the line I would've gone a little insane, right?

Now that all the passengers are waking up, we are going to have to show them around. We already got the crew on board. The day before they were scheduled to wake up, we went to the med bay and woke Callie. She was a little groggy but her wound had healed marvellously. She hadn't aged a day. She met the kids, she loved them. Even though they aren't so little anymore. She helped us get the crew out of hibernation and explain to them what had happened to us.

I thought we were going have to move the kids back into our room just for a few months because their cabins will be needed by other passengers. But Callie said they had a few spare anyway, because they have to make sure there are extra rooms on board. Some company line I didn't know about. It was hard imagining moving all of Thatch's tin rocket ships. But soon we will be moving, for good. Three months until we dock at Homestead II, Maya is excited, Ethan is relieved I think, for everything to be over. I know this has been our home for a long time, but I think he's ready for this, he's been waiting his whole life to leave. To explore the world. And for that, I don't blame him.

Thatch hasn't really accepted that we have to move yet. I know he's had a long time to think about it, to process. But he's never liked change. He likes it here, he knows where everything is, he's made a home. I worry what will happen when we land. Will he be okay? How will he manage the world? I think the next few months will tell. The other passengers will be here, there will be other people his age. Hopefully he can make some friends before we dock. Today will change our lives. More people, besides the crew. People Ethan can talk to, boyfriends Maya can have, friends Thatch can make. Me and Mark will carry on, like we always do. Awaiting the day that we land, that we can finally live out the dreams that have been forty years in the making.

The End