Josh POV

I was working on putting out four different fires in the White House. There was a conflict in Sudan, an aid who made a dumb comment on the record, a mudslide in California and a tax bill being argued on the floor of the Senate. America and the President need my focus and they have it. But I would be lying if I didn't have Donna front and center in my mind. It's been two days since we've spoken and I want to check on her. Except, I can't. The first reason being that CJ thinks we need space and says Donna is a mess. CJ was my friend first, but she's being very protective of Donna and frankly I am grateful. Ending things with Donna will go down as my greatest failure and that includes being the one to make a politician switch their party. However, ending things right now is the best thing I can do for her and if our argument was any indicator, she was ready for me to. A part of me wanted to take it back as soon as the words left my lips, but instead she just continued to scream and also say it was over. Screamed. Then I yelled. I've yelled at her before, but there was something about this. I didn't even recognize myself. I didn't recognize her. I always knew I had a feisty Italian girlfriend, but she wasn't one to scream or yell so she must have been really upset. Granted, I was a jerk when I came home. I was out of line, but something clicked at that moment and now we're here. We're here and I'm carrying a nervous pit in my stomach that has nothing to do with Sudan.

What if we're wrong? What if breaking up was the wrong choice? When I told her goodbye, a part of me wanted to admit defeat and take the blame. She looked so small at that moment and I was immediately filled with rage. We've had little fights before. Ones where I just quickly take the blame so we can end it. She's done the same, because at the end of the day, we just loved each other so much that fighting seemed so silly. So, why had it blown up into this? I can't make sense of it. The only thing I can make sense of is that I will never get over Donna Moss. I don't want to and maybe there is a route where this blows over, but not today. CJ said the last thing she needs right now is to see or talk to me. She said she's not eating or sleeping and now whether we are both to blame or not, I feel at fault. The last thing I ever wanted to do was cause her pain. Still, that pain may be for the best. She deserves better.

I'll do whatever CJ says Donna needs me to do. If she needs me to call the vendors and everyone behind the wedding, I will. If she needs me to move out and pay the rent on the apartment, I'll do that too. I don't know if I can go back to living there full time. Not since Donna moved in. I tried to go back this morning to change and it's just too empty and quiet without her. When she would be traveling with the First Lady, it was hard to be there knowing she wasn't going to come through the door. Knowing she isn't mine anymore? Well now it's not my home. It can't be. Not without her.

I know she hasn't, but I take a moment to check my email just to see if she's sent anything. I was right. A moment later the door to the Oval opens and POTUS steps out. "Josh, come to my office for a minute."

"Yes, Mr. President." I respond and dart out of my office chair, unsure of which medium crisis needs discussed. I follow him in and close the door behind me as he walks over to his desk and grabs a folder. "I spoke with Lou and she's…"

"I actually want to discuss something else with you." Matt Santos interrupts with a hand up gesturing to one of the upholstered arm chairs. I take a seat, shifting my tie as he sits across from me. "Helen mentioned Donna called in today."

"Uh yeah, she's a little under the weather." I rest my arm on the arm of the chair, leaning my head into my fingers. "I'm sure she'll be back tomorrow."

"You see, Donna and my wife are close. I don't have to tell you that." Matt explains and sits the folder in his lap.

"No sir, you don't." I know that Donna and Helen have built a close friendship and while Donna is an amazing Chief of Staff, she and Helen have become quite the pair.

"Do you know my wife convinced the secret service to take her to CJ Cregg's apartment and she was there for almost two hours before she called me and told me to call you an idiot?" The President asked with a cocky grin on his face, before he shakes his head. "Come on man?"

"What?" I ask innocently, knowing Donna and CJ together with the First Lady is the equivalent of a 'We Hate Boys' club at the moment.

"Did you dump her?" Matt questions me and I wince. "Josh…"

"We broke up." I breathe, trying to keep up a cocky demeanor, because honestly I am in pain. Donna is everything to me. "It was mutual. Amicable."

"Bullshit. Who asked to break up first?" Matt asks, probing as I shift uncomfortably. I don't say anything right away, because the more I think about our fight, the more I feel responsible for it. The more I realize there were a million things I would have done differently. "Josh, this is a simple question."

"I did." I admit shamefully.

"Idiot." The President nods, pushing up from the chair and shaking his head. "What the hell? What made you do that?"

"I don't know!" I groan, running a hand through my hair. "We started fighting and I just said it and then she looked like I had tried to kill her but then she said 'okay, fine' and we yelled some more and then we broke up."

"You have to fix this." Matt demands, leaning against his desk. "You have to go to her and apologize and tell her you didn't mean it."

"Sir, we said a lot of things…"

"Stop with 'Sir' when we're talking friend to friend." The President groans, swatting his hand. "We're talking about you and Donna. We're talking about the woman you're going to marry."

"Sir…Matt…we both said a lot of things that I don't think we can take back." I shudder to think about the words I first spoke. I still can't believe I said it. It makes me feel sick, but I swallow the bitter taste it leaves in my mouth. I don't understand why I did it. Sure, I was having a bad day, but then we fought and it felt like an atomic bomb went off around us. "She was pretty set on ending things too."

"Helen seems to think she's putting on a front." Matt claims and for a moment I want to ask for details on how Donna is doing. Is she okay? Is she eating? When will she be back in the East Wing? "CJ and Helen have convinced her to wait to officially call off the wedding. They think you guys should postpone it if you haven't resolved this in a week or two."

"I'll handle all of the business related to that." I breathe, leaning forward in the chair. "Did she…"

"Why can't you take it back?" Matt quizzes and I want to know the same. Except one time my Dad told me about how words were a lot like a knife. They leave a mark. "Believe it or not, I have to walk back things in my marriage all the time."

"I didn't fail to notice if she got a new haircut or a new dress." I sigh, clutching my hands together. I wish that was all I had done. What I did was light a match for us to say what we were feeling. What we had never fought about before. "I don't know if we can walk it all back. I think it was a lot of bottled up stuff that we hadn't said."

"Look, I won't ask you to tell me what was said unless you want to tell me, but I really think you need to fix this." Matt suggests, walking around his desk. "Maybe take a few days off to decide if this is a break or a break-up. Or at least get your head a little more clear so you and Donna both can report back to work as you learn to navigate whatever is going on."

"I don't need a day off." I debated immediately, but the President put his hand up.

"I don't expect this to be resolved in a few days, but I need your head clear here as your boss and as your friend I need your head clear at home."

"Yes sir." I nod, standing up from the chair that many world leaders have sat in.

"And if you can fix this, fix it. There aren't too many palatable couples that I enjoy double date nights with in the residence." Matt groaned, sitting down behind the desk. I'm not really sure what to say next. Work was my distraction. "Have Sam handle a few things while you're out. Donna will be off for the next week since apparently she needs to relocate from the home you two share."

"Yeah. Thanks, sir." I sigh, shifting my tie and walking over to the adjoining door between our offices. I quietly close the door behind me and take a deep breath. A few days off to fix this wasn't going to be enough. If I was being quite honest, I didn't know if I wanted to fix it. I mean, I want to fix it, but I don't know if it's the right thing. She was angry too. I had failed her as I always worried I would and that wasn't fair. Then there were the things she said. How can two people in love hurt each other as badly as we did? And so quickly? How can she be ready to move her things out of the apartment where we had decided to start our life out? We weren't going to live there forever, but it was mine and then it was ours.

I try to think about what happens now. I don't want to call her and I don't want to go find her. Not yet. I need to cool off, because even though I am calm right now, I'm worried the argument will resurface as soon as we come face to face. That's the thing about conflict. Unless ready to be resolved, it just gets worse. I don't want this to get any worse if that's even possible. I don't think it can. In fact, I am pretty sure if it gets worse, it may kill me. I want to think about it before I see her again. Maybe I'll talk to Sam too, maybe I'll just go back to a hotel and sleep on it. Maybe a break is a good idea until we can calm down and really think about this breakup and what it truly means.