The classical repertoire of Yo-Yo Ma is to be respected and valued. He's a true talent and to be witness to his greatness, is always truly a great honor. I admit that his playing can trigger something in me that I am both afraid and not proud of. I was filled with dread as we approached the evening, because of my past of hearing his music and knowing it could trigger my PTSD. What I never expect, is how Donna is always one step ahead of my panic attacks. Even right now, when our relationship is in limbo, she's taken my hand the moment he started playing. She knows the notes that will most likely set me off and gives my hand a little squeeze each time, just reminding me that she's there. It's just another reason in a list of long reasons as to why I don't deserve her. What she doesn't know is that my favorite thing to do in performances like this is to watch her. I'm sure she can feel my eyes on her, we know each other too well. But she's better than the performance. Her eyes watch in wonder as each note plays on her face. I love the way she sees the world. Both with anticipation and curiosity and when the music plays, she feels it. Sometimes she cries and other times she just looks full of bliss and admiration. She really is magical and confirms my theory that she is too good for me.
However, tonight she looks exhausted and like she doesn't feel well. Still beautiful, but I know her and I know she should probably be in bed resting. I know she says it's 'lady things,'' but I'm still worried. I make a mental note that I want to ask her to come home with me tonight. Not for sex or other motives, but I want to take care of her. I have a lot to figure out, but she pulls rank. When she was my assistant, we always checked in and took care of each other when the other one was sick. I need to take care of her tonight. I notice her eyes close for a moment and I think maybe she's listening to the music, but then I realize she's nodding off. I squeeze her hand lightly and she opens them, so I lean towards her and whisper, "Hey, let's head out. You can go to bed."
"Shh…" She warns, shifting in her seat and straightening up. "He's about to play my favorite."
"Donna, you're falling asleep." I smirk, putting my hand on the back of her neck, lightly rubbing. "Why don't you stay at our place tonight and I'll make you a bath?"
"It's your place, remember?" She bites quietly, throwing my words back at me. Of course, I instantly feel terrible, but she looks back to the stage. "My damn flowers and candles are pretty annoying."
"I deserved that." I whisper, dropping my hand and placing it back in my lap.
"You did." She quips, moving a hand over her stomach. "Do you have any Advil?"
"No." I answer, looking around. "I'm sure someone does, do you want me to ask?"
"No." She shakes her head, taking a deep breath. She looks around at the secret service in the booth, before resting a hand on my arm. "I'm going to run to the restroom and see if I can find any."
"I…okay." I breathe, not wanting to argue with her. I would go track it down for her, but I don't want to get her mad before I try to convince her to come back with me tonight. As she exits, I turn my focus back to the music. As each note is played, I try to soak it up the way Donna does, but I can't. I need some Doobie Brother's or something to really get into it. I wonder if Yo-Yo Ma could play 'What a Fool Believes' on the cello. I'd be amazed. As the music plays, I look down at my watch wondering how long Donna has been gone. I didn't pay attention to the time, so I just go back to listening and decide if she doesn't come back in a few, I'll go out and find her. She'd be pissed that I even came looking for her and assume it was an excuse to get her alone. Although earlier if I had been alone with her much longer, I probably would have tried to flirt a bit more. I know I am the one who asked for distance, but she's so damn beautiful and the way that dress hugged every curve has been driving me mad all evening. To be fair, when she's wearing a sweatshirt and leggings, I go crazy too. Then I'm reminded that I haven't seen her naked since that day in my living room and before that it was the night before I went to Europe. It had been an amazing night. I had gotten called into the White House for preparations, but then I was able to make it home to her. She had made an amazing dinner and I spent my night making love to her. Multiple times. I miss so much more than just her body, but her body is definitely weighing heavily on my mind. I look down at my watch and notice it's definitely been at least fifteen minutes now. Maybe she's still in the restroom, but I push up from my chair and head out of the booth as one of my agents follows me. I nod to an agent standing along the wall. "Have you seen Miss Moss?"
"She went that way about twenty minutes ago, but she hasn't returned." The agent points down the hall. "I actually radioed down to an agent at the bathroom, but she's still in there."
"Got it." I look both ways, sliding my hands into my pockets as I look back at my agent, Mike. "Guess we're taking a walk."
"Yes sir." He nods as he begins to follow me.
I start by slowly walking, but when I realize that my heart is racing, I start to lightly jog. If I find her, I'm going to be a little irritated. She had to know by taking this long,I was going to get worried. She's been acting off all night. Why is she causing me to worry more? I see the sign for the restrooms and I see an agent radioing something into his wrist and looking around. "Is she in there?"
"She's in there with a female agent, we've called 911 for her." The agent, gestures and I don't hear another word he says. I just ran past him, ignoring that it was the women's restroom. When I get in there, I see Donna with the female agent and an older woman who is putting cloth to her head.
"I told you he would come running in here." She sighs, letting out a deep breath. She's white as a ghost as she smiles weakly to the older woman. "Thank you, Diane."
"Of course." The older woman smiles, placing a hand on Donna's shoulder before walking past me and out of the bathroom. I look at the dark circles under her eyes, but I don't speak right away.
"The older woman came out and said a woman had fainted in the bathroom and was in there throwing up before." Leslie who has been on the President's detail since the beginning. She backs up as something comes over the radio. "EMT's will be here in the next few minutes."
"So not necessary." Donna groans, taking the cold compress off her head. "I slipped."
"Protocol, Miss." The agent smiles weakly, before exiting . She leans over in my ear on the way out. "She was unconscious when I came in."
"Thanks." I whisper, before stepping closer to Donna and kneeling in front of her. I place a hand on her cheek, rubbing my thumb against her cold cheek. "Hey."
"Hi." She breathed, shaking her head. "This is so embarrassing. Like underwear in front of Karen Cahill embarrassing."
"I don't think you should be embarrassed due to fainting." I laugh weakly with a pit in my stomach. "I knew you didn't feel well."
"I just tripped a little…" She insisted, letting me take her hand. I hope she's finding comfort in me being right here, because I feel better just having my eyes on her. "I was having some pain and…"
"You fainted." I whisper, pressing a kiss to her hand that I'm holding. "We're going to go see a doctor."
"Josh?" She groans, but I cut her off.
"Donna, we're taking you into the hospital." I tell her, taking her clutch from beside her. "You can walk into the ambulance if you want, but we're going. Now, I'm going to help you up."
"Donna!" Helen Santos comes running into the theater bathroom. "Leslie let me know what happened. What is going on?"
"I'm okay, Helen." Donna answers, immediately standing up but swaying a little. I grab her arm, linking it in mine as Donna steadies herself. I don't know what's going on, but Helen and I exchange worried looks. The look tells me that I'm not wrong to worry. She's nervous too.
Helen walks up to me and places a hand on my shoulder as she speaks quietly. "Instruct them to take her to George Washington…tell them she needs to see Dr Roberta Sanchez in Obstetrics. I'll be in a car following you and Matt is going to stay until the end of the show. I'll find you when I get there."
"Got it." I nod, before walking Donna out of the bathroom. Thankfully no press has gotten word of this yet inside the theater, so the Secret Service lead us out of a back door and into an ambulance. I'm amazed by Donna, because she's acting so casual despite being able to tell that she's in pain. Her hand won't leave her stomach and she's hunched over on the seat as the EMT's begin taking her vitals and asking her questions. I begin rubbing her back, one of the things I just do when I know she isn't feeling great. I don't know if it's helping her at all, but it's definitely helping me. My brain isn't focused on what we need to work through right now. It's focused on making sure she's okay and letting her know just how much I love her. I know for a fact this is something I never want her to question. I never want her to think my home isn't her home. I don't care how many flowers or candles or throw pillows end up in our apartment and I want her to come back. I don't want her staying anywhere else. I want her with me. Where she belongs. I am her home, and she is mine.
Guys! Thank you for your support. Stay tuned. The next update is huge storywise, but does come with a bit of a trigger warning.