raven's perspective

"This is the last place I'd expect to find you. Looks as if I've gotta find a new meditation spot."

"Psshht, nah, not at all. I'm only borrowing your spot for today."

"Well, you can borrow it as much as you'd like."

"Ooooooh, so I'm a V.I.P.? All I had to do was steal a seat?"

"Don't be ridiculous." I deadpanned, attempting to hide a smile.

Sitting next to Beastboy on the roof, I let my legs dangle over the edge. The evening wind ruffled through my hair smoothly. The sun baked a rainbow of colors in the sky, creating a gorgeous sunset.

Following a short delay, I interrogated, "How are you holding up?"

"Meh. I kinda know, kinda don't. I'm just here, you know? I'm just here." Beastboy exhaled,

"How are you doing? All we've been doing is talking about me, I want to make sure you're good, too."

"I'm alright, just an average day as a bookworm, herbal tea addict, and introvert condensed all in one."

"Haha, you've got a taste in humor."

I giggled lightly, a soft pink warming my cheeks, "Do I really? I don't joke around a lot, so I think I have nothing close to humor."

"Ehhh, you have your moments. Your sarcasm packs the punch." Beastboy commented warmly.

"At least it's being put to some use. I honestly don't even recognize when I'm being sarcastic. Most of the time, it's just me taking life too seriously, or people not taking me seriously."

My friend looked away, changing moods, "Yeeep. So..."

Beastboy paused, as if he was trying to map out everything he was going to say.

"The fight. With Mammoth. A few days ago..."

"Yes?"

"He was gonna throw the table and stuff... so I switched into a gorilla." his voice grew heavy.

"Mhmm... I'm listening."

"Gorillas, they're kinda similar to monkeys."

I lifted my brow, a bit confused, "Right."

I had no idea where Beastboy was going with this.

"The thing is, that's a bad reminder for me. Every time I change into a gorilla or any monkey-like thingie, I get a flashback. Sometimes, I'm too into the mission or whatever I'm doing to notice I'm having a flashback, but trust me, I have them."

As much as I wanted to reply, I decided to wait.

I was learning, that someone didn't always need something to be said to them, but for them to be listened to.

"As you know, Mr. Mark Logan never paid me any mind. One day, I was... I dunno, seven, or eight, somewhere in that age group. I started feelin' loopy. I broke out in cold sweats all over my back, body, neck, forehead. I had this hell of a fever, I felt like I was being cooked right under the Sun. I got the shivers, my skin paled. Even though I stopped eating, I was constantly vomiting all over the place. Sadly enough for my old man, I threw up on one of his lovely experiments."

I scoffed, "Karma's the name."

"For sure. I was sleeping a lot, had nausea, aaaaall that nasty stuff. Mom thought it was some sorta flu, or the stomach bug, but she knew it was much more than the common cold. She told my dad about it, and all he did was shrug it off, and said whatever it was would go away. We had no local doctors near our campus, and as much as Mom tried, she couldn't get her finger on what was happenin' to me."

"Did she find out what was going on?"

"Not quite. It did take a near-death experience, though."

My eyes widened.

Beastboy laughed, "Not like that, I mean, it was serious. The illness got so bad that I could have died if I didn't get a cure when I did."

"What was the sickness called?"

"Sakutia. The origin was unknown, but I contracted it. Sakutia's related to a malaria fever, and it's also known as the "Green Fever". Anyone that got it, died. The only animal that was immune to Sakutia was the West African Green Monkey."

"A green monkey? That's... interesting. Do they have blue monkeys, too?"

"Nah, I haven't heard about any blue monkeys," Beastboy chuckled, "What's so special about blue?"

"Blue's my favorite color."

"No way! I thought it was black."

"Nope, it's blue. What's your favorite color?"

"Tofu." Beastboy grinned whimsically.

"Col-or." I re-emphasized with a disappointed frown.

"Green. I guess I look at that color evvvvvvvery day, more than any other color, so it warmed up on me. Honestly, I can't remember my favorite color being anything but green. The trees from Africa, and even my father's eyes, though they weren't the friendliest."

"And your skin and hair."

"Yeah," his eyes became dull, "So I got the disease, and as soon as I was at Death's door, my father finally decided to help. He made a serum that would save my life, but that came with a cost. The serum changed me into a West African Green Monkey for a day. After I recovered, my skin and hair were permanently green."

"To be honest, I thought you were born green for the longest while." my words came out as a faint whisper.

"A lot of people think that, even Cy did," Beastboy smiled weakly, holding his left arm.

"Your arm, why do you keep touching it?" I questioned.

He hesitated, "It's..."

"You don't have to tell me if it makes you uncomfortable." I spoke gently.

"It's fine. This is where—it's where my father injected the serum in me. Y'know, kids don't like needles, and on top of everything else I was going through... I was not having it. I was having all of these painful symptoms, I was confused, I was tired, I was scared. When I saw him with that thing, I totally freaked. The man was so aggressive in how he handled me, and didn't bother to listen to mom telling him to be careful. So, he just about stabbed me."

"And every time you turn into a monkey, or something that reminds you of one, you have that terrible memory resurface."

"Yup. Plus, it didn't help that my father was the one giving me the cure. I knew better than anything, that if my father did something to me, it would always be to hurt me."

"It's really sad knowing that you realized that at such a young age. I'm really, truly, sorry."

Beastboy sighed, "The pain didn't end there. To change into animals, it was... agonizing. After I got the cure, I was still sick for almost two months—because my genetic code was now unstable. A little while after feeling better, I had somethin' else comin' for me. One day, I was climbing a tree for some bananas. I was so excited, I told Mom that maybe the "medicine" helped me climb the tree," Beastboy let out a pained laugh, then paused.

"Then, some black mamba tried attacking my mother."

"Yikes, I'm not an expert on animals, but I know those things are no joke."

"You're absolutely right."

"What do you mean?" I turned to Beastboy, narrowing my eyes.

"Hm? Oh, I meant the whole black mamba not being a joke part."

I huffed in irritation.

"I swear! I mean, I'm not surprised you don't know much about some of the animals out there in Africa. Most of 'em are deadly. Anyway, so I dunno what came over me. When I saw Mom in danger, all I could think about was how to protect her. It was like my brain switched into autopilot. I was acting before I was thinking. So, I shifted into the black mamba's deadliest enemy, a mongoose. That, was the first time I changed into an animal."

"Woah, so you've had the hero installed in you for quite some time, huh?" I played with a thread on my cloak.

"Yeah, I guess you could say that. But to change back into human form was a pain in the neck. Lots of times, my limbs would get stuck mid-transformation, or half of my body wouldn't go back to normal. It hurt. I gotta lotta bruises n' sores from forcing myself to change. All of that brings me back to that day... that day that my parents died. I was more than willing to take on the pain of transforming into something that could save them, but I couldn't. The only thing I knew to turn into at the time, was a mongoose, a cat, and an ant."

"It's like everything that happened to you connects. Every little detail, word, action, brings you back. Sort of like a ripple effect, you get triggered by one thing, and it leads to a whole bunch of other stuff. Then, sometimes that tiny switch eventually gets you trapped into this mental torture."

"Exactly."

"So, if I'm right, you changing into a gorilla made everything replay in your head. All of the emotional and physical trauma of becoming who you are, and everything you've been through."

"Bingo. Honestly, every time I change into an animal, it crosses my mind. Every single thing." Beastboy claimed, his voice sour and cold.

A short silence sat between us.

"You know, Beastboy. I'm proud of you."

"Pffft, proud of what? Me dumping all of this crap on you and being all depressed? Please." he scoffed.

"No. I'm proud of you for sharing this with me. For trusting me with the things you've said. It's not the easiest job out there."

"Not even close."

"Yeah, but you know what I'm even prouder of?"

Beastboy's eyes met with mine, then I smiled softly. A thread of light crossed his eyes, as the corner of his mouth curved up.

For a moment, the world around me ceased.

The rippling of the water around the island, the wind humming, and the sunset's beauty no longer mattered to me.

All that captured my attention, was Beastboy.

"I'm proud of you for being here."