UPDATED 2023:

Hi everyone! I wrote this over a decade ago, as a hopeless, illiterate teenager. I have returned and tidied this thing the hell up.

I kept it pretty true to the original. I definitely would have written this a lot differently now, but 15-year-old me wanted the most overdramatic angst and sickening fluff imaginable, so I kept it.

Enjoy!

"I had a good day today, I saved a girl, I did that. You are treating me like a basket case, and people are believing you! I am a good doctor and I deserve to be treated no less than that. So, could you just leave me alone? Please, just leave me alone," Lexie begged Mark.

"You got it," Mark replied quickly. All he wanted was for Lexie to be happy, even if broke him. He loved her.

Lexie sighed, before departing. Mark watched as she turned the corner, the sound of her heels on the wet concrete fading.

He thought about going to Joe's, to drink away his sorrows, but if he did indeed know her well enough, she'd most likely be heading there. Instead he would go home to his lonely apartment, to his empty bed where she used to sleep beside him.

Mark Sloan was tired of being alone.

Lexie approached Emerald City Bar. She watched as as patrons walked in and out, the familiar bell on the door ringing with each person.

She heard laughter and conversations. She smelled various spirits and beer and salt of peanuts and bar pretzels. It mingled with the stale scent of tobacco, lingering from someone who had likely already returned inside after a brief cigarette break.

Standing across the street from Joe's, Lexie realized she didn't want to go in anymore. The thought of drinking made her nauseous. She also did not want to go home, grimacing at the thought of her bedroom in Meredith's musty attic, hearing Mer-Der in their married bliss echo from beneath the floor boards.

It was still awkward to be around Alex was awkward to be around and April's over-the-top cheeriness and Jackson's post-traumatic stress-induced screaming was always waking her up. Still. It was better than being alone, Lexie thought.

She sighed at herself as she started walking past the bar. The one place where she actually wanted to be was Mark's. After she begged him to leave her alone, all she wanted was to lay beside him, to hear his gravelly voice whisper in her ear. She slowly made her way back to the hospital. An on-call room would be home tonight.

Mark stood at a nurse's station filling out a patient's chart when he heard the door of a nearby on-call room click. He glanced up to see a messy looking Lexie clamber out of it. Mark was relieved to see no one follow her out it. His relief changed back to concern when he took note of how disheveled she looked.

He watched as Lexie quickly pulled her slept-in hair into a loose ponytail and used her two index fingers to wipe the smudged mascara from under eyes. As broken down as she looked, she was the most beautiful woman Mark had ever seen.

As though Lexie could hear his thoughts, she looked over to him, with an unimpressed look on her face. Mark quickly returned his eyes back to the chart.

"Did you tell her?" a woman's voice came suddenly from behind, causing Mark to jump and grip the chart hard.

"Whoa. Are you alright?" Callie asked. Mark just stared at her.

Callie clucked her tongue sympathetically. "Oh... Did she reject you?"

"No, not exactly," Mark finally answered, loosening his grip on the chart, shifting it to the other hand as he dropped it to his side. He began to rub his cheek as he usually did in uncomfortable situations.

"Well then, what happened? I'm not in the mood for 'Sloan's one to three word answers, you're going to have to say more," she barked, pointing a finger towards him.

Mark ignored Callie's passive aggressive comment regarding his communication skills.

"I went to tell her how I feel and she wouldn't let me speak. She told me to leave her alone," he frowned recalling the exhausted desperation in Lexie's voice.

"Oh Mark," Callie began sympathetically. "You just need to give her time, she'll come around," she said before continuing her lecture. "You can't push it. She's been through so much, you've both been through so much. We both have to learn to not push things. I pushed things with Arizona, but then I stopped, and things are good again. So just give her some space, you don't have to rush it, don't rush it."

"I'm trying!" Mark snapped. Callie's eyes grew wide at her friend's outburst. She pushed both her open hands in the air towards him and pursed her lips, before walking away.

A familiar sounding sigh came from behind him. Mark pivoted and looked down. Lexie stood a few feet away from him with her arms crossed. She looked so defeated. It was all Mark could do to keep his emotions bottled up and hidden away to prevent him from pulling Lexie off to the side and kissing her until she'd smile again. Like he used to do when she sought him out during a particularly gruelling shift. When she was his.

This was the last thing Lexie wanted to do, not only did she hate begging, Mark was the last person she wanted to come to. She felt so pathetic.

"Dr. Sloan, I need something to do, there's no room on anyone else's service, so would I be able to work with you today?" she blurted out quickly.

All Mark could do was nod. He handed her the chart and she took it.

"Thank you," she sighed, glad he hadn't brought up anything personal.

"Dr. Grey. You okay?" Mark then asked, worry clear in his voice.

"Too soon," Lexie thought. "I am at work Dr. Sloan, I don't a babysitter. I am fine. If you're going to hover over me all day, I'll find something else to do," she spat.

Lexie was always good at holding herself together. Yes, she was emotional at times, but she had climbed her way out of hell, out of the psychiatric ward and pulled her broken pieces back together. Having the man she once loved deeply constantly see her as a shell of the woman she once was threatened to shatter her fragile facade.

Mark quickly shook his head

"Not necessary. You can scrub in with me. Please prep Ms. Thomas in 207," Mark replied. "You can't push it," he heard Callie's voice rattling in his head.

"Right away," Lexie's flashed him her best professional smile. Her eyes told a different story.

Mark watched her walk away. He tapped his pen against a finger on his other hand contemplatively. He had to tell her how he felt now. Even if she wanted him gone. He had too.

Lexie arrived at the patient's room. She decided she should probably give her face a wash and brush her teeth before meeting with a surgical patient. She smiled towards the woman in the bed and opened the chart.

"Dr. Grey," Mark acknowledged from behind her. He nodded his head once, encouraging her to present the patient. No other residents were assisting. It was pointless, but she did so anyway.

"Uh, Tracy Thomas, 36, here for an abdominoplasty, " Lexie finished, her eyes glancing from the chart to the woman before her.

"I know, I know," Tracy began. "You're a young surgeon, looking for something more interesting than a woman who wants all evidence that she's had three kids disappear," she chortled.

Lexie shook her head quickly "No, no, not at all. We all fight tooth and nail for cases like this. Dr. Sloan is an artist. I'm happy to be on your case today. We're here to make sure everything goes smoothly and to answer all of your questions."

Mark cleared his throat. "Tracy what we'll be doing is removing excess skin and fat from the middle and lower part of your abdomen," Mark gestured at the diagram on the computer monitor beside him. "Then we'll tuck the rest of your skin down, and any scaring that may occur will be below the swimsuit line. This surgery shouldn't take anymore than a couple of hours," he finished.

Tracy nodded "It's going to be nice to have my old body back," Tracy said, anticipation and nervousness present in her voice.

"You already look fantastic," said Mark. He flashed her his handsome, toothy grin. Lexie's stomach flipped.

Moments later, several surgical nurses arrived to take Ms. Thomas to the operating room. It's a simple surgery. Mark's done hundreds of them, but he couldn't go into the OR with Lexie with this weighing on him.

Lexie began to follow after Tracy's gurney when she felt a tug at her wrist. She turned her head and was met Mark's stormy blue eyes. She felt her heart clench.

"Lexie last night, I-" he tried.

"Mark," she quietly hissed. "I c-can't do this. Not now, not here," her voice cracked

"Please, let me finish," Mark cut back in. "I know you want me to leave you alone, and I will, but I have to tell you, this. I love you. I can't even stand how much I love you, and the fact that I can't have you."

Mark's grip on Lexie's wrist moved up further, he cradlled her upper arm gently. "You make me happier than anything I've ever known, and all I wanna do is have a part in making you happy, that's all I ever want to do for the rest of my life. I wanna go through your rough times with you, I wanna be there for the best parts too, I just want to be with you, even if you don't want me around. I will always be here for you, because I'm in love with you."

Lexie looked at Mark, her warm brown eyes glossy. Mark's confession cracked the ice she'd put around her heart, she felt a familiar, comfortable warmth return in her chest. She adored this man so much, but she was terrified to let herself fall in love with him again.

He sighed. "I'll see you in surg-"

Lexie took several steps into Mark and pressed her lips to his. A kiss full of months and months of longing and passion. She placed her hand on his oh so familiar face, a thumb caressing the scruff on his chiseled jaw.

Mark moved his hand from Lexie's upper arm to the small of her back. The other cupped the back of her neck. He pressed her tight against his body, allowing her lips to press kiss after kiss on his mouth, he met each movement with equal fervour. Mark had missed her so much. Suddenly, she broke away from him. Lexie's hand remained on his faces. When he met her eyes, he saw wet streaks down her face. He hadn't even felt the tears during their kiss.

"Lex," he rasped, thumbing the moisture from her cheek thoughtfully.

"I have to go," she said quickly. Lexie dashed out of the room. Her cheeks hot, her throat clenched. She made her way into the stairwell, not looking back when Mark called after her.

Lexie's blood felt hot. Adrenaline coursing through her veins.

She sat on the bench in the empty residence lounge, her mind racing. Mark loved her, he just wanted to be there for her, the best way he knew how and she wasn't letting him in. He didn't think she was crazy.

His words were serious. She kept hearing them swirl in her mind. He wanted to be with her for real. There was nothing holding them back this time. No excuses. It terrified Lexie because wanted that too. Now everything was out on the table staring her right in the face. She couldn't ignore it any longer. It was the good kind of scared though.

She loved Mark too. Every nerve ending in her body felt it. She never got over him no matter how many times she tried to convince herself to move on. Lexie was overwhelmed. how could she trust that Mark would never hurt her again. She wanted this to work.

"You made her speak, M-Mrs. Patterson she said 'hi' she spoke. I respect you, as a man, as a surgeon, as a teacher. I respect you. So teach me."

"What are you doing? Don't do that, Stop."

"Teach me."

"Stop."

"Teach me."

"We can't do this. You're Little Grey, I'm your teacher, and I promised."

"So, teach me."

"Lexie."

"Teach me... Teach me."

"Come on, am I really so Bad?"

"No. I am"

"I'm so sorry."

"It was worth it"

"No, no i-it wasn't. Well maybe a little. Thank you."

"Yes the odds are against us, I'm a one woman wrecking ball all I do is break you. Your hand, your penis your relationships, your life. I'd say our survival rate is about three per cent, and that's bad, but I don't think we should give up on this, at least not yet because-"

"You think you broke me Little Grey? You're the one who put me back together."

"Lex. I'm still in love with you. I tried not to be. And Sloane's gone, there's no baby, and I don't wanna sleep around. I want another chance. I'm in love with you."

"K-Karev... Mark I, I have a boyfriend."

"I know. I'm saying you could have a husband."

Lexie let out a shaky exhale. She made up her mind.

Mark ran his hands under the cool water in the scrub room after his surgery. He was grateful it was such a simple procedure because he was distracted the whole time.

He paged her once before going into surgery, but wasn't surprised she never scrubbed in.

When he made it back home, Mark sat on his couch with a glass of scotch, a small box in his other hand. He snapped it open and stared at the diamond ring he bought after Lexie came completed her psychiatric treatment. He would marry Lexie in a heartbeat, but he recognized now that his proposal would have been for the wrong reasons. Lexie didn't need a life preserver. She needed to stand on her two feet and prove to herself that she could be the strong woman Mark fell in love with two years ago.

Mark took another swig of his drink when a knock came to his door. He snapped the ring box closed and slipped it into his pocket.

When he swung open his door, he was stunned to see Lexie on the other side of it. She looked determined until she made eye contact with Mark. Her mind went blank.

"I had a whole speech I was gonna recite, a-and uh, n-now, I, I uh," Lexie could barely string together a cohesive sentence.

Mark raised his brows. He could see she was at a loss for words, desperate to compose herself. He moved to the side, allowing her to enter his apartment.

"Lexie," he said in a low voice.

She spun around to face him suddenly.

"I love you," she gasped. "I never stopped, and I know I've made things hard for you, f-for us, and I always thought it would be easier on both of us to just give up."

Mark felt anxious. He didn't like where this was going. He wanted to tell her she shouldn't give up, but that he'd give her the space she needed. However long that might be. He was about to tell her when she spoke again.

"But, I love you," Lexie confessed. And that scares me, but it also excites me. I thought I had to be strong all on my own, and prove myself to everyone, but all I did was show that I'm scared. I don't want to be scared. I know I can be strong on my own, but with you," she trailed off. "I want everything you do. I want a big house in the city with a fenced in yard for our dog and kids to run around in. I want to marry you and be Dr. Lexie Sloan. I want a little girl with your eyes, who will have you wrapped around her little finger and a brown-eyed boy. He'll be just like you. A trouble maker when he's young, and a ladies man when he's older. Most of all, I... I want you Mark."

Mark scooped Lexie into his arms and kissed with everything he had. She wrapped her arms tight around his neck, allowing herself to fall into his chest. When he let her go she stood. Eyes sparkling, a smile on her beautiful face. Mark grinned and reached into his pocket, and got down on his knee.

Lexie's eyes widened and she shook her head rapidly in disbelief.

"M-Mark?" She questioned him.

"I think I said everything already and you just confirmed everything now. You don't have answer right now, but this is yours," Mark opened the ring box. "I'm yours and this is a promise that I will always be here for you. I can't wait to see you become the woman and doctor you've always dreamed of becoming. I want to be there every step of the way. I love you Alexandra Caroline Grey, and when you're ready, I want to spend the rest of my life with you."

Lexie took a huge shaky breath. The diamond before her sparkling with hope. She thought about it on her finger. She dreamed about it on the finger of their great-granddaughter one day.

"I want a life with you, Mark," she exhaled, leaving her uncertainties behind.

Mark grinned and slid the ring on her left ring finger. When he got up he kissed her again.

"You're not crying?" he laughed.

"I think I'm cried out now," she chuckled back, wrapping her fingers around his.

"He grinned, leading her towards their bedroom to make the engagement official.