Magic must defeat magic...NOT!
I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!
...III...
ANNOUNCEMENT!
I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!
SUMMARY:
On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!
The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.
...responses...
...III...
...Deep within the Bavarian mountains...
"..And mad king Ludvig would invite guests into Castle Linderhoff where they would fall victim to dozens of his lethal traps." Explains the guide as the archeological group walks through the ancient castle.
"Rude." Snarked a university student.
Jackie Chan- the team leader -chuckled, "That's why his name wasn't 'lovable king ludvig' or 'beloved neighborly king of Bavaria'."
Suddenly Jackie stopped the group in it's path, "Stand back." He instructs, he then points out a tripwire with a special spray bottle.
The university just shrugs, "Ah, come on. What are the odds theses traps still wor- Jackie stops him in his tracks, plucks his hat off his head and drops it on the tripwire-
CRUNCH!
The trap snapped shut and flattened the hat. He then gives the hat back to the startled student. They walk on until Jackie uses a skull statue to find a hidden latch to open a secret door.
Once lit, the torches illuminated a vast treasure room. "Ludvigs' lost treasure." Said the guide amazed.
Jackie nodded, "The treasure is probably booby-trapped, So it's important we don't-
The university Student yanks out a golden pole.
-Touch anything." Finishes an exasperated Jackie. The room starts to shake and the entrance begins to close, Jackie uses a spear to keep the door open to allow the others to get through...but it snaps and closes before he can get through...
Suddenly multiple arrows start to shoot at him! "BAD DAY!BAD DAY! BAD DAY! BAD DAY!BAD DAY!BAD DAY!BAD DAY!BAD DAY!BAD DAY!BAD DAY! BAD DAY! BAD DAY!BAD DAY!BAD DAY!BAD DAY!BAD DAY!" Shouts Jackie as he dodges them all.
Jackie grabs a shield to deflect them all, he then jumps through a nearby hole on the ceiling, he then slides on the shield through the small tunnel, out of the castle and down the mountain back to the group...
Jackie sighs as he turns to the group, "Snowboarding works a lot better with snow." He jokes awkwardly.
...
After Jackie gets his usual greeting from Uncle- a dope slap to the head -he gave him the shield to research and began to look through the mail...one was a letter from his Sister in Hong Kong telling him that they'd be sending him his niece Jade to study abroad for a year...
A quick look in the front room showed a young girl dragging her things into the house, so that must be her...
Before he went in to greet her, another letter caught his eye...from Child Services?!
Puzzled yet concerned, Jackie quickly focuses on reading it...
Dear Mr. Chan, we at Child services have given you this notice that we are handing you the Custody of your 'nephew' Cave Johnson one week hence. If you wish to cancel this or set up an alternative arrangement, you must return such a statement within one week. Or we will begin the transaction...
Even MORE confused- for one thing: why did they put parenthesis around the nephew bit? -Jackie halts reading and looked at the date and realized it was dated TWO weeks ago!
"UNCLE! You were supposed to forward my mail to the Bavarian excavation site!" Shouts Jackie exasperated.
"Uncle antique dealer, not POSTAL MULE!" Snaps Uncle from his Den.
Jackie was about to retort, when three unsavory goons entered the shop. Getting a VERY bad vibe from them, Jackie forgot all else and went to make sure nothing bad happened...
...which was too bad, because had he continued reading the letter...
...is what we would say in a normal situation. Extenuating circumstances beyond our control has seen that the boy currently isn't in our custody. But the boy dose know about you, is eager to meet you and due to his... 'track record'...were confident he'll be arranging transportation to get to you soon...ish...
...many hours later...
The people on the outskirts of San Fransisco were treated to an unusual sight...
BOOM!
YOU DIE NOW!
A troop carrier bursting with soap bubbles being chased by Yakuza bikers on top of a tank that was bursting into flames...and chased by three-headed green monkeys...
...even later...
On top of the skyscraper. Tohru held Uncle Hostage while Jackie held the shield. "Ookie, Dookie. You want the shield? Catch!" Shouts Jackie as he throws it like a boomerang...
While Tohru was distracted, Jade led Uncle to safety-
GRRRAKKA KKAKKAKKAKKAKKAKKAKK AKKAKKAKKAKK AKKAKKAKK AKKA KKAKKA AKK!
The sound of a cross between a jackhammer and a carhorn prompts everyone to turn around-
BOOM!
Just in time to see a troop carrier covered in soap, fire, and monkeys fly through the air and crash into the top of the building sending everyone flying!
As they free-fell to the ground, Jackie paused in his screaming as he felt someone shaking his hand. He looked to the side and saw a boy Jade's age shaking his hand as he fell.
"Hello Mr. Chan! I'm Cave Johnson! Your uncles, cousins, niece's, daughter's, sisters, great aunts, nephews, grandma's, son's, grandnephew fifteen times removed! You seem like a great guy and I can tell were gonna have fun together!"
Jackie just groaned as the ground raced up to meet them...
"Oh, don't worry about that! I got this!" Shouted Cave as he yanked out a strange looking gizmo that zapped the ground-
BOOM!
Half of San Fransisco floated into space...
"Oops! That's not right!" Shouted Cave as everyone suddenly found their fall to the ground much lighter...while everyone just stares in disbelief.
"No problem, I'll just reverse it-
"NO!" Screamed everyone-
BOOM!
The city came crashing back down to the ground...everyone just looks a the carnage in horrified disbelief...
"Huh. Well, that wasn't supposed to happen either! I wonder if I should-
"NO!" Shouts everyone. Jade in particular jumped to stop him fiddling with it again-
ZAP!
GAH!
Shouts Jade as she finds herself flung to the far-side of town...
Uncle Dope slaps Cave, "AIYA! STOP BREAKING EVERYTHING!"
No one notices Tohru slinking away...
...
In a far off park...a signature orange shirt hangs torn on a tree...as dose several other articles of clothing...all hanging over a trash can...
A mortified and VERY naked Jade jumps out of the can, newspaper desperately grasped to cover her body as she frantically runs home...
...III...
TO BE CONTINUED?
AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Go to my P,a,t,r,e,o,n account!
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