Chapter 75: Battle of the Bands

OMG, I am so excited, and not just because tomorrow we finally get to go home, although that is a huge part of it. Dude, I can not believe that after five months, this whole thing is finally over. Don't get me wrong, it's been one heck of a trip, and I've made friends and had experiences here that I wouldn't trade for anything, but it's gonna be really nice for everything to finally get back to normal, and for me to get back to my life. Even if I'll probably have to repeat the 8th grade. At least it'll be easier the second time around, right?

No, what has me really excited is that Mayor Toadstool just spun the Wheel of Fun! A little background: The Wheel of Fun is an ancient tradition dating back to, dang heck if I know, but before I got here. Toadstool spins it when things get stressful, or tense, or impeach-y, and all sorts of fun activities are on there, including some a bit less suitable for the tadpoles, if you know what I mean. Some of the more PG activities are "bugball free throw contest", "snail rodeo", "beast polo", and "poetry slam". This time we got the best possible result: Battle of the Bands!

It's not that Wartwood is brimming over with musical talent. Except for Sprig and his fiddle, I can't really think of anyone who's got the chops. But Marcy, Sasha, and I are all together in one place, and I just got the bass I ordered from Loggle months ago. And that means only one thing: Sasha and the Sharps reunion!

We just need to think of what we're gonna play. I know Sasha's gonna want to do Heartstomper, and yeah, fair enough, that has been certified as a banger by at least three independent banger-certifying agencies, and it's always been a crowd pleaser. But I feel like we need something new… something that reflects the journey the three of us have been on. I think maybe I should try my hand at writing a song of my own. I've never done this before, but it can't be that hard. Can it?

[a number of scribbled out pages follow]

UGH! Why is this so HARD?

I feel like I'm almost there.. I just need to take a leap forward…

Take a leap…

[Just imagine the musical notation for the following. Your humble author doesn't know how to do that sort of thing. Also, some words have been crossed out and replaced here and there, representing the creative process. Use your imagination for where those go too. Composed by Adam Gubman.]

Took a leap through a box (super weird)
To a swamp where frogs talk
Now I'm stuck, got no plans (just my luck)

I'll do the best that I can
Makin' friends and enemies
It's weird but hey it's grown on me!

BRIDGE: Bugs, frogs, newts and toads
Gonna be a bumpy road
Flies for snacks, worms for lunch
I think I actually love this swamp!

CHORUS: It's no big deal, yeah, no big deal
Find a way to start again
Brush off the dirt and make some friends
It's no big deal, yeah no big deal
I feal at home in a place that shouldn't be real
Crazy strange but it's no big deal

(TOTALLY BOSS GUITAR SOLO BY SASHA GOES HERE)

CHORUS REPRISE: It's no big deal, yeah no big deal
I feel at home in a place that shouldn't be real
Killer birds but it's no big deal
Riding snails but it's no big deal
Eating flies but it's no big deal
Finally me and it's no big deal

Wow. It's not perfect, but I think I've really got something here. But it needs something… and I think I know what.

[sketches of bug costumes, labelled "Marmoth, Dragannefly, Sash Beetle"]

I hate to admit it, but I have to give credit to Bernardo for these designs. They made for terrible armor, but they'll be great stage costumes!

Now to bring it up to Sash at the rehearsal. Hopefully she's serious about acknowledging that I'm my own person now…

We did a quick runthrough of my new song and I don't mean to brag, but it sounded amazing. It really all came together. And then…

…well, Sasha gonna Sasha…

This is the part of the rockumentary where the band breaks up so someone can pursue a solo career. And we didn't even make it to our first performance.

She had notes on literally everything, from choreography to makeup to lyrics, and while a little bit of creative input is okay, her suggestions basically cut the heart out of my song. Because this very much is my song.

It was the same old story: Sasha needs to be in control, and if she can't, she's taking her guitar and going home. And, just like that, Sasha and the Sharps was just The Sharps. I guess it's progress that she didn't have a full blown diva tantrum and just decided she'll go her way, we'll go ours, and may the best act win. Still… I really wanted us to just have fun playing together without all this old baggage coming up, just so we could go back home with everyone on good terms.

With us down a guitarist, I tried to find a last-minute substitute, but Sprig's committed to this jug band thing with Loggle and Wally, and Polly lacks a… certain something (fingers). I guess it's gonna be just the two of us for this performance.

Eventually the time came to perform. The costumes came out really nice, and while I wasn't able to get Sprig to join the band, he did agree to do our makeup (the little dude is a whiz). We may not have been real rock stars, but at least we looked the part.

Sasha showed up before the contest to wish us luck. According to the official register, she's doing something with Toadie, so I guess we weren't that hard to replace, were we? I guess it is a sign of growth that she did that at all. Back when S&TS used to compete in talent shows, she put almost as much effort into her trash talk as she did into playing… sometimes more.

The first few acts… well, I'll be charitable and say they were eclectic. Truly no two were alike. Very varied. I… really don't know what else to say about them. Even Sprig's group was kind of a disaster; they tripped over themselves about a minute into the set, which was good enough for a 5 ¾ apparently.

And then, we were up.

We went out there and gave it our best, and I think we did pretty well... but something was missing. My song had the lyrics and the melody, but we needed some kind of extra hook. And I didn't think a bass solo was going to cut it.

And that's when a miracle happened.

Sasha actually changed her mind.

During the lull before the final chorus, she strolled out on stage and played the solo to end all solos. And for one beautiful moment, it was as if the last few months never happened. We were a trio again, and everything was perfect.

I wish we could say that the judges declared us the winner right there, but there was still one act left.

Did you know Grime plays the harp? Did you know he's amazing at it? Seriously, I've never heard anything so beautiful in my life. There wasn't anyone in the whole house who didn't have tears in their eyes.

So, no, we didn't win. But who cares? There is no shame at all in coming in second to a performance like that. Besides, who cares? We had fun. I even got Sasha to try on her beetle costume for a bit. She hated it. :-p But I have captured it for posterity.

[drawings of the girls in costume, Grime playing the harp, and various doodles]

Sasha, Marcy and I are finally together, and you know what? It's AWESOME! Tomorrow we head to Newtopa, and after that, I think we're actually going home! I'm so happy I trusted Sasha again. I always knew, even after everything that happened, we'd work it out.

Well, better get some shut-eye. I have a feeling tomorrow's gonna be a big day…

A.N.: And so, we come to the end of the journal. There's one more chapter left, and then… well, I'm going to take a break to catch up on some other work, but after that, I'm happy to announce a sequel series, Dear Ivy, chronicling the first half of Season 3 from Sprig's perspective. And after that… well, stay tuned!

Jose: It sure is one way to work off the calories.

Next: Epilogue