Sonic felt his facial muscles twitching as he slowly regained consciousness. His head throbbed painfully, feeling like it pulsed as his heart weakly pumped blood through the arteries that scaled his temples. It was hard to draw in air, pressure on his chest pushing down as if a weight had been placed upon his prone body. The rest of his body oscillated between numbness and sharp pain, as if a thousand needles were jabbing into his limbs, only to pull out a moment later before being jammed back in.
His eyelids refused to move, his body almost completely drained of energy and unwilling to listen to his demands.
He definitely wasn't dead, but... he didn't exactly feel alive either.
Through the trauma-induced haze within his mind, he felt a familiar presence; a warm, rich aura that emanated from his quills.
The chaos emerald. He still had it, after all.
Using what little focus he had left, he zeroed in on that presence, using the contact with his body to open a connection with the emerald and allow some of its energy to enter him.
A wave of pain washed over his body, his synapses firing to life as they all rushed to inform him of the substantial injuries he received while fighting Shadow.
He felt a sense of apprehension rise through the pain, concern rising that his rival had taken off again after such a spectacular finish to their duel. To be honest, he couldn't particularly blame him if he did. Sonic had touched a lot of raw nerves during that battle, and while he could try to rationalize it as some kind of desperate attempt to get through to the Ultimate Lifeform, he knew that it would only be a convenient lie that he made for himself.
The truth was, he was angry. That black and red idiot had not only left when he was needed, but then had the audacity to just... say he never actually cared for anyone. What reason left in his brain that frantically tried to tell him something was seriously wrong was drowned out by the hurt and frustration of being told all their time together had been little more than a farce. It felt like he was betrayed.
With the energy from the emerald supplanting his own, he cracked open his eyes, momentarily closing them as they struggled to adjust to the soft light coming from the very early dawn. With a few more tries, he was fully able to open them, the soft blue and orange sky filling his vision as he tried to get his bearings.
He tilted his head slightly back, slightly blurred vision focusing as he saw the upside-down pile of wrenched metal and smoldering ashes that had once been Eggman's base. Further beyond that was the wall of the ravine, the one he had been kicked into by his rival.
His ears twitched as a just barely audible gasp swept past them. He tilted his head down again, straining his eyes and neck as he looked towards its source.
Shadow was there, hunched over the blue hedgehog's body as he trembled uncontrollably. The hybrid's clenched fists were laid on the prone hero's chest, revealed as the cause of the weight that kept him from being able to fully bring air into his lungs.
Sonic felt a wave of pain rush through his body as he slowly brought his hand up off the ground, limply laying it on the black and red hedgehog's wrist.
The touch instantly caused Shadow to snap out of his daze, falling backwards onto his behind. He quickly scrambled backwards, propelling himself with his hands and the heels of his feet as he dragged himself along the ground until his back pressed against the cliff wall. He slammed his eyes shut, clutching patches of the quills of his head- unable to hide just how absolutely terrified he was.
"... Don't go ." The scratchy words trickled from Sonic's lips like a whisper. Shadow's only reaction was to clutch his head harder, gritting his teeth as he curled further into himself.
It was hard for Sonic to pin down his own emotions as well. There was some relief that the black and red hedgehog was still here, the thought of taking the emerald for himself apparently never crossing his mind. But the anger from their previous fight hadn't left yet either. But seeing Shadow so absolutely panic-stricken... Sonic couldn't help but feel guilty for pushing him so harshly like that, even if it did keep his friend from running away again.
With a deep breath and a grunt, the blue hedgehog pulled more energy from the chaos emerald. He could feel sensation return to his extremities, fueling his body as the excess energy slowly began to mend the bruises and scratches he had gotten. It wasn't enough to fully heal himself, that would take time... but it was enough to allow him to move about again.
He could feel his muscles scream as he slowly pushed himself to a sitting position, now able to look at Shadow directly.
"...I take it you're done running?" Sonic asked, his tone leaking both physical and emotional exhaustion. With a shake of his head, he forced a small smile on his face. "Told you, can't get rid of me that easily."
The other hedgehog did not respond. With a heave, the blue blur shakily brought himself to his feet, limping over to his still-trembling friend. He tried to kneel at his side, but the sorry state of his body treated it more as if he had awkwardly fallen into a sitting position.
"I'm still alive, Shads." The hero reassured him. "Just... tell me what's wrong."
Shadow pulled in a shaky breath, fingertips digging into his skull as he rocked himself back and forth.
"...You're so cruel." He eked out, eyes still shut tightly as his head tilted away from the person sitting next to him.
"...What?"
"You're telling me I have to choose between an eternity of suffering or killing you." His voice cracked, gasping for air as his body ceaselessly shook like a leaf in the wind. "I... can't just... I-"
He cut himself off, his breathing more erratic as he clawed at his head. His feet skidded uselessly against the rocky ground, trying to push himself further back despite the unyielding cliff face behind him keeping him in place.
Sonic felt his body run cold at the accusation.
"Wh-What? Shadow, I don't..."
"I'm going to watch everyone I know die!" The scream ripped from Shadow's throat, his eyes shooting wide open as they jittered about.
It was like a dam had broken, the words pouring out of his mouth faster than he could breathe. Every syllable forced itself through his lips, each one coming out more pained than the last.
"Even if there was no one left to fight, they're all going to... wither away in front of me- and I can't stop it! And you want me to just grin and bear it, knowing that I'll always be alone in the end?! You're horrible! I... I can't..."
Shadow looked over at him, tears streaming down his face as he hiccupped. His fingers grasped at his quills, pulling so hard that it threatened to tear them out.
"It hurts , Sonic! How many times must I lose someone close to me?! How many centuries of this am I supposed to take?!"
Sonic froze, his hands slowly clenching against the ground as his rival looked back at him, a genuinely questioning look in his eyes as he looked towards the hero for some kind of answer to ease the feelings raging inside of him.
With the hybrid's outburst, the reasoning behind the erratic behavior was painfully clear. This wasn't some kind of bull-headed insistence on being a sole hero or some kind of self-inflicted act of repentance. It was far simpler- Shadow was just... scared. He was terrified of the price forced upon him by the awesome weight of the power given to him by his creators.
The blue hedgehog's mind briefly flashed back to the conversation that he had with Rouge when she first woke up in the hospital. She had mentioned that the Ultimate Lifeform was never actually given a chance to grow up. The family he had was ripped away from him, his own father manipulating and betraying him before leaving him frozen in time for almost fifty years. Even the years since his re-awakening were fraught with conflict and strife, and almost never to his benefit. He had almost always been alone, and now that he had managed to open up and connect with others... he was terrified to lose them and couldn't cope with the knowledge that he would always end up alone again in the end, no matter how hard he tried.
And Sonic... didn't know how anyone would be expected to contend with that.
"Shadow, I..." He trailed off, breaking away from the black and red hedgehog's expectant stare as he lowered his eyes. "I don't know what to say."
The pained whimper from Shadow's throat felt like a knife sinking into the hero's gut.
"...I'm sorry." The hybrid whispered, pulling his legs up to his chest.
The blue hedgehog took a deep breath, ignoring the stinging in his lungs as he carefully chose his next words.
"It's okay." He closed his eyes, head slightly nodding. "I think I understand now. You wanted to push everyone away, right? If you cut everyone out of your life... then you wouldn't have to worry about the pain of losing someone you were close to."
Shadow buried his face in his knees and wrapped his arms around his legs, confirming what the other hedgehog had said about him without the need for words.
Sonic felt his eyes droop, the emerald's supplemental energy wearing out as the fatigue from the fight quickly rebounded back onto him.
"It's been a while since I've really thought about this, but..." Sonic trailed off, fighting to keep his body upright. "My powers are due to the fact that I'm a Chaos User. It's nothing like your powers, but... well, being able to break the sound barrier at will does have its perks."
He glanced back at Shadow, watching intently as he continued.
"I learned a while back that because of this, I'm going to live a lot longer than a normal mobian. And that..." His voice quieted, sighing as he looked to the side. "I realized that I'm going to watch my little bro grow up, become a fine adult... and watch him die of old age while I look the same as I do now. That thought still scares me. But that... it probably doesn't even hold a candle to what you must feel like."
The blue hedgehog felt his arms give out from under him, falling onto his side as his vision began to blur.
He watched as Shadow quickly snapped out of his despondent state. Through his muddled senses he could barely perceive the black and red hedgehog's hands on his shoulders, shaking him vigorously.
He could see the vague shape of his friend's mouth moving, calling his name in an increasingly panicked tone; his voice muffled by exhaustion.
"I just need to rest a little, don't worry." Sonic muttered, slowly placing one of his hands over Shadow's. "Just... don't leave, okay?"
Shadow pulled his crouched legs in closer, hugging them tightly as he pressed his forehead into his knees. He wasn't sure how much time had passed since Sonic had passed out, not even bothering with an attempt to keep track.
He could feel the sun beating down on his back, the searing Shamar sun sending waves of blistering heat down into the ravine as it raged overhead. He would be fine- he was designed to withstand temperatures like these, but...
He shifted out of his huddle, head slowly tilting to look at the unconscious hedgehog next to him, laying in full view of the sun.
It took all of his willpower to push himself upright, his feet slowly trudging along the rock and sand as he made his way to the destroyed base. He grabbed a few choice bits of sheet metal, dragging it along the ground as he made his way back. Using the cliff wall and the rocky ground as anchors, he began wedging the slats in between them, creating a crude makeshift covering for the resting hedgehog that reflected the sunlight and placed the two of them in a substantially cooler shade.
As soon as his work was done, he sat down next to Sonic again, pressing himself against the cliff face as he curled up again.
He felt as if his emotions had been completely drained from his body, leaving only a hollow shell behind. Everything was ruined, again. He spent so long trying to cut himself off from everything, only to be pulled right back into the fold. He couldn't even pretend to be stoic- every wall, every mask he had spent over half a year forcing himself to build had been torn to pieces by that blue hedgehog, leaving nothing for him to hide behind and exposing just how much of a mess he really was. And his emotional outburst let out something that he could never take back again.
He wondered what Omega and Rouge would think about him like this. A jolt of pain in his heart quickly reminded him that they would have come to his aid without a second thought- it was him who abandoned them when they needed him the most. He had hurt them, all for nothing. And despite the fact that he was to blame, all he could do is wallow in his own self-pity.
He was pathetic. Truly and utterly pathetic.
His ears twitched as he heard the slight grinding of sand next to him, followed by a soft groan. He peeked out from his huddled form, his guilt only doubling down as he saw that Sonic had not regained consciousness. The scene replayed itself in his mind over and over again- his fear and doubts taking over his mind as his instinctive combat training kicked in, doing the exact thing he wanted to avoid. Another thing he had ruined.
Shadow brought his hands up to his head, forcefully pulling down as he slammed his eyes shut.
He stayed in that position, letting time pass him by as the sun slowly moved across the sky. He wasn't sure how long it was until he heard another stir from the blue hedgehog, sending another spike of anxiety through his body. His ears flattened as his rival grunted and rolled over, the sound of sand scraping rock echoing through the improvised shelter as Sonic slowly pushed himself up into a sitting position.
The hybrid could hear a sigh of relief come from the other hedgehog, a small chuckle coming out of him as he finally spoke.
"You... actually stayed." Sonic quietly noted, a little more energy in his voice than before. "How are you feeling?"
Another wave of guilt crashed onto Shadow's shoulders, the weight of it all threatening to crush his very being. After everything that the hero went through... he was asking if the one who nearly killed him was okay?
He couldn't find it in him to respond.
His guilt only intensified as the scraping sound came closer, stopping as a weight thudded on the cliff wall next to him.
"Shadow, can I..." Sonic trailed off, a small sense of apprehension in his soft voice. "Can I show you something?"
Shadow didn't move.
There was the sound of quills rustling, before something hard and cold was pressed into the back of his hand.
"Come on, just take a look at this for me, please."
The black and red hedgehog's head slowly rose, eyes peeking out from behind his knees to see what the other hedgehog had touched him with.
It was a bracelet, though unlike the familiar ones he'd seen like the Bounce Bracelet and Flame Ring, he didn't feel any kind of energy from it.
It was a rather simple design, a solid metal curved tube that joined at the end, connected to a flawless jade orb. A number of blocky patterns were stamped onto its edges, interweaving lines that moved in and out at right angles.
Shadow slowly lowered his hand, allowing Sonic to place it on his palm. It radiated warmth, though if it was from an innate quality of the material or just from being kept on Sonic's person wasn't clear.
"Do you remember when the planet broke apart into pieces?" The blue hedgehog began, turning his torso to fully face his partner.
"...Yeah." Shadow muttered, barely able to get the singular word out.
"Well, I'm sure you probably learned from GUN that I was the one who put it all back together. But... I didn't do it alone." He sighed, his own fists clenching as he struggled to find the right words. "At the time... there was someone I was working with. This bracelet was his... though with how small he was, it was basically a collar for him. He ended up losing his memories trying to help me. He was a little annoying sometimes, but... he had a heart of gold. Kind, caring... even with everything on his plate, he always thought first of helping me and others."
You sound like you're describing yourself. Shadow mused to himself.
Sonic paused, his body shifting back as he laid his back onto the cliff face next to the other hedgehog.
"...I lost him in the end." He quietly admitted, his voice faltering for a moment. "He was never actually supposed to be here. He sacrificed himself so the world wouldn't be split apart again... at least, not until it was ready. I never got to say goodbye, either. He managed to leave me some parting words, but... I wish he could still be here, you know?"
They sat there in silence, Shadow's thumb tracing the patterns on the bracelet as Sonic continued to look forward.
"When I look back at that, I can't deny that I wish he could still be around. But I also think of all the good times we had together... the adventure, even the small moments we had out in the middle of nowhere. And... it makes me happy that I did get to spend time with him, even if it was cut short."
He paused for a moment, pulling his legs up to match the black and red hedgehog's position. When he spoke again, his voice was soft, quieter than Shadow had ever heard him before.
"Shadow, I... I don't know how it's going to be when I... finally go. But I hope... I hope that with everything we've been through, you'll be able to remember everything we did, and look back on that the same way I do with him."
Shadow felt his grip tighten on the bracelet, letting out a shaky breath.
"Why... are you doing this?" He choked out, clenching his eyes shut.
Sonic was quiet, his fingers slowly dragging across the ground as he felt his fists clench.
"I won't lie, I wasn't sure how to feel about you when I first met you in Central City. The more we clashed, the more I felt that you were just one of Eggman's lackeys. I didn't know how wrong I was when we finally learned the truth about what happened on the ARK. It hit me how much pain and hurt you must have gone through. I still don't know what made you come around, but... I couldn't have been happier when you came to our rescue. When we fought the Biolizard together, I was sure it was the best time of my life. You were... just so dazzling. All I could think about was how much I wanted to really spend time with you, get to know you... maybe even go on adventures again. And then..."
The blue hedgehog swallowed thickly, his own nose sniffling as he pushed himself to continue.
"When you... fell ... I... didn't know what to do. You were the first person I truly felt I would never see again, and... it took everything I had to stay strong for everyone else's sake." He clutched at his own shoulders, breathing deeply as he tried to retain his composure. "But I was barely holding it together. I felt like I had found something truly special, only for it to be gone a minute later. I just... put my head down after that. Eggman was always up to something, and as long as I kept running and saying what people wanted me to, everyone was fine. And I stayed like that until I met you again when we were going up against Neo Metal."
Shadow's own memories flashed back to that moment. His memories of the ARK incident were... fuzzy at best at the time, with little idea of who his rival was. All he had at the time was Rouge's passing familiarity, and insistence that they would be trouble if they weren't dealt with.
"It sucked having to play myself up like that." Sonic sighed, his pose relaxing slightly. "I wish that our reunion went differently, but... I get it. By the time things calmed down, I saw you had your own crew... and since you didn't know me, I knew I probably wasn't really going to be a part of that like I wanted to. But I still felt happy that at least some part of you was still alive and kicking. It was enough for me at the time, so I promised myself... if we ever got to spend time together, I'd never take it for granted... and if something ever happened to you, I'd do everything I can to make sure that I don't lose you again."
The other hedgehog looked back at his blue counterpart, a dumbstruck look on his face as Sonic's own determined stare looked forward. With a sigh, the hero looked back at him, his smile softening into one of reassurance and fortitude.
"You said I was cruel." Sonic noted, causing Shadow to instinctively flinch with another wave of guilt.
The blue hedgehog pushed himself to his feet, slowly making it to the edge of the shelter. With a heave, he tore down the metal sheets, allowing the cool dusk air to blow in as the sky above them glowed a pleasant orange red. He looked back towards the other hedgehog who was still sitting and staring pensively at him.
"Maybe I am... just a little. Even if you think throwing everything away and cutting everyone off is the least painful option for you... I refuse to let you do that. Even if it is just me being selfish, I can't accept a world that bleak. But I don't think it means you need to be in pain. We can just... find another way, yeah?"
Sonic walked over to Shadow, holding out his hand as he flashed another smile. The black and red hedgehog slowly raised his own, feeling their fingertips touch as the hero clutched them tightly, using his own regained strength to pull him up next to him.
"...I'm sorry." Shadow whispered, his voice cracking as he looked down.
He felt himself gasp in shock as Sonic pulled his hand again, this time into a tight hug. His body froze into shock, eyes wide as he felt his torso being squeezed.
"It's okay, Shads." Sonic calmly reassured him. "I get it. Just... don't do it again, okay?"
"...Okay."
The blue hedgehog pulled back from the embrace, leaving Shadow with an almost... disappointed feeling once it was over. He looked up at Sonic, who had already turned around, carefully stretching his limbs as he looked around.
"Well, I think we should hurry back, then." Sonic noted, spinning around to grin at his friend. "I think we've probably kept Rouge and Omega waiting long enough."