Chapter Forty-Eight

Sharon was walking over to the central residential section of Stockton, which was situated just off the main street. She was not sure if she was doing the right thing. When the note arrived several days ago Sharon looked at the paper in surprise. At first, she wanted to say no, but the mention of a donation for the library made her say yes.

The note had come the day after the trip up to San Francisco with Priscilla and Audra. Sean had told her and Tara all about the train car, so they were prepared for the experience. Sharon was impressed at how luxurious it was, with the gold brocade drapes and furnishings.

The trip to the city had been enjoyable, especially watching Tara take everything in with wide eyes. The dressmaker had been nerve wracking because she felt uncomfortable accepting the gifts, even as she knew she needed a wedding dress. Heath's comment, from their meeting in Jarrod's office rung in her ears. Clearly, he found her deficient in a fashion sense, and as she recalled Sarah at the garden party Sharon understood.

It was that fact that let her defer to Priscilla and Audra's fabric choices and design. Heath's comment I will expect you to be appropriately dressed; Audra and Priscilla can help you spend my money did away with her qualms about the expense. Plus, her friends – and she felt touched that the women were her friends – wanted to do so much for her. It made her feel bad about lying, but at the end of day Sharon knew she was not the first woman to make a marriage to secure her wellbeing.

Audra insisted on contributing several other dresses, saying she would need something to wear in the city while she was having other clothes made. Priscilla outfitted Tara with some pretty dresses, which Sharon accepted quietly. She recalled what Jarrod had done for Sean, and when Priscilla said that it was her first chance to buy girl clothes, Sharon went along.

After the dressmaker, they went to lunch at Gump's Department Store, in the tearoom at the top. It was all pink, white, and green, and Tara had declared it pretty. Sharon had studied the menu with interest and wished she could go look in the kitchen. When lunch was done Audra took Tara to do some gift shopping for her children, while Priscilla announced she had something special for Sharon.

They walked around the block, to a storefront that was tastefully painted black and white. The signage was script lettering in French, and Sharon, from her days at the castle with the French governess, knew what it meant. It caused her to blush.

Maison de Soie specialized in lingerie, and Sharon, even as she was embarrassed, was also entranced at the store. Priscilla had said she needed new undergarments for her wedding and Sharon, as she felt the silk fabric, wondered what it would feel like to wear something so soft. Priscilla put together a chemise, bloomers and a corset that matched the wedding dress they had ordered.

Priscilla was not done yet and told the salesclerk that they needed a negligee and a peignoir set for the wedding night. Sharon had almost blurted out there was no need, but then stopped herself. Heath had said everyone had to think theirs was a true marriage.

The set she ended up with was sheer green silk, with lace decorations in the same shade. Priscilla said that since Heath had given her an emerald engagement ring, he must like the color. She had giggled as she made the comment, and Sharon forced herself to smile, as if she were enjoying the joke. In truth she did wonder what Heath's reaction would have been, all those years ago.

Sharon brought her mind back to the present, as she approached Penny Madden's house. She admired the flowers in the front, the prettily decorated porch with its French blue door and bee shaped knocker. Sharon was curious if Penny really wanted to do a donation for the library or was there another motivation.

It felt unseemly to her, to spend time with the mother of her soon to be husband's ex-wife. However, Stockton was in some respects a provincial town you would find in Ireland. Sharon had seen, while in service at the castle, that in that kind of setting, you could not always avoid people. Scandals including gambling debts, and hastily arranged marriages – or trips abroad – all happened. The families involved were forced to socialize with each other, even as privately there was ill-will and hurt feelings.

"Thank you so much for coming Sharon." Penny answered the door, which took Sharon aback. She had expected a housekeeper or maid, which piqued her interest about the purpose of the call. "You look lovely! I love the blue and green with your beautiful hair." Sharon smiled at the compliment, even as she wanted to laugh.

She was wearing one of the first dresses she had purchased, when moving to Stockton. It was a blue and green plaid against a white background; the dress only had a small bustle, but it was all trimmed with ribbons in the same color. Sharon then remembered that Penny had been the founder of Penny Rose, so of course she would like the dress.

Penny ushered her into the parlor, which was decorated with a perfect mix between formal and relaxed. Sharon realized that the house was small, and only had one room to be used for both receiving and family time. She admired the furniture which featured pale wood and colorful fabric. It remined her of the sunroom in the castle in Ireland.

Sharon was making careful notes because last Saturday Heath had taken her out to his house. She had thought it so plain as to almost be forlorn but liked how the location was all its own. The grounds were amazing, and she could hardly wait to get her hands on the gardens.

The inside though – Sharon had been hard pressed to find anything good to say. There was heavy dark wood in almost every room, and the furniture did not look comfortable. Sharon forced herself to nod her head, even as she was thinking about what she was going to do. Yes, fine carving was good, but comfort was also important.

"Your furniture is lovely. The pale wood is so fresh, and the colors are very bright." Sharon commented, even as she was trying to figure out that while Penny had put together such a warm, comfortable home, her daughter had done nothing with her own house.

"Well, it is a small space, so I tried to use it to the best purpose possible. Honestly, I love the size, and how cozy it is." Penny said, as she indicated for Sharon to sit on the small sofa. "At one point in my life I had a large house, and an army of servants. In truth I was the biggest servant." The woman offered with a tired smile.

Sharon now remembered the scandal about Penny's first husband. Having been married to a gambler - albeit an unsuccessful one – she knew exactly where the woman was coming from. Paul had never achieved the high success that Wilton Rose had, but she was sure that they were cut from the same bolt of cloth. Always with an eye on the main chance, and how much money they could make without doing any actual work.

"I agree with how cozy it is. I love the drapes and how you styled them." Sharon changed the subject not wanting to share that they had had the same type of husband.

The next several minutes were spent with Penny telling her about finding the fabric in San Francisco. She left it at that, and Sharon was sure that Sarah was the person who had helped Penny. Sharon then remembered her first visit to the ranch, where Victoria had said that Heath and Sarah had a house in the city where they spent a great deal of time.

"I invited you over, partially to talk about the library, but for another reason also." Penny paused as she poured a cup of tea for Sharon and offered her a tiered tray of savory and sweet offerings. Sharon knew that good manners forced her to take at least one sweet, and one savory, even as she was sure she could not swallow anything. She did make a point of complimenting the food offerings, as she took a bite of each.

"Heath and my husband have a very good working relationship. Did you know he has been a law enforcement officer and carried a badge?" Penny looked at her for a response and she nodded her head. Heath had told her about everything all those years ago.

"Of course, Heath would extend an invitation to my husband – and therefore us as a couple – for your upcoming nuptials. However, I think you can understand that in my position, as Heath's ex mother-in-law it would be unseemly for me to attend the wedding." Penny's voice was smooth, and her demeanor calm. "My understanding is that Heath and my husband have already talked about the matter, but I wanted to make sure you understood why we would not be attending."

Sharon did not want to admit that she had no idea about the details for the wedding. Priscilla would ask her opinion about something here and there, but that was about it. She knew that Victoria was doing the guest list, and she recalled Heath's response about deferring to his mother on who to invite, but with one or two additions.

For some reason, this revelation bothered her, even though she knew it should not. Heath had already declared this was a business relationship, and he was in charge. It had not occurred to her, until now, that Heath, because of his relationship with the Sheriff, had indirect interactions with his ex-mother-in-law.

"That is very so gracious." Sharon smiled at her hostess, tamping down her irritation at Heath. It would have been considerate for him to tell her about extending the invitation to the Madden's, and why they had declined. In truth she was now wishing she had not come to see Penny, even though she was more curious than she let on.

The next ten minutes were spent talking about the library, and Sharon was surprised to find out that Penny had been involved with a literacy project in St. Louis, where she was from. Hearing between the lines, Sharon discerned that Penny's contributions had been throwing parties and attending bazaars. However, she knew that for wealthy women, that was their definition of charity work.

"Sharon, I do have contribution that Fred and I want to make to the library. Literacy can help people so much." Penny refilled Sharon's teacup as she made the comment. "However, I will tell you now I have another reason for asking you to come see me, privately." Sharon was sad – but not surprised – that she had been right about why Penny wanted to see her.

"May I be direct? And talk to you woman to woman?" Penny tilted her head, and Sharon nodded in acquiescing just wanting to get everything over with, so she could leave. "While I have put on the correct front for society, I will share that my daughter was not as blameless in her first marriage as she portrays herself. However, a mother stands by her daughter – I understand that you have a daughter?"

"Yes, Tara is five, and my son Sean is six." Sharon replied, totally at sea as to where the conversation was going.

"Sarah was my youngest, and my only daughter. My two sons, older than her, were killed during the war." Penny's eyes were suddenly filled with hurt, anger and sadness. "It was such a waste for them to die; my husband had enough money to buy them out of the conflict." The last words were delivered in almost a snarl, before the older woman regained her composure.

"Tis so sad to lose a loved one, especially in a war." Sharon was innately a kind person and appreciated what her hostess was sharing with her. On the other hand, this was the mother of Heath's ex-wife, whose new husband was a close friend of his. She wanted to jump up and leave, but good manners kept her from doing so.

"You are so kind and understanding Sharon. I am touched that you can appreciate my feelings." Penny lightly touched Sharon's hand and looked at her with gratitude. It did not last though, as Penny removed her hand and stood up, walking to the other side of the room. Sharon watched as she fiddled with a floral arrangement on a side table.

"Your kindness emboldens to move on with that I have say, even as it is difficult." Penny walked back over the armchair and sat down, facing Sharon. "As I said, my daughter was not blameless in her marriage to Heath, but I firmly believe that if he had made her the same priority as the ranch and his mining reform were, things could have been different."

"This is not a conversation we should be having." Sharon stood up in haste, wanting to bring an end to this whole encounter. Of course, Penny would have nothing good to say about her ex-son-in-law. She chided herself for being a fool to agree to this meeting. Heath would be her husband, and she owed him her loyalty.

"Please let me finish." Penny tilted her head and indicated for her to sit back down. Sharon decided that why not at this point – what did the woman have to say?

"I completely understand what it is like to be a widow with limited economic options. Luckily for me I had a talent, and my child was old enough to help." Penny stated taking a sip of her tea. "I could not imagine being a young widow with small children. You have done right by your family and marrying Heath Barkley will secure their future – as well as yours." Penny was regarding her with almost a sly look in her eyes. Sharon cringed inwardly.

"Honestly, I could care less about why you are marrying Heath. If it is for security and a meal ticket for you and your children, I am sure you will be very happy." Penny looked directly at her, and Sharon felt herself squirming; that was exactly why she was marrying Heath.

"However, if you have foolish dreams about Heath being in love with you, and providing you with companionship and affection, you will be very unhappy." Penny rearranged the tea service, before she spoke again. "At best you will be third or fourth on Heath's priority list. The ranch, and mining reform, along with whatever cause Jarrod has going on, will always take precedence. Anytime you need comfort or consideration he will not be there to provide it – he is a cold fish – you should not expect anything but financial support from him."

"I wanted to get that off my chest, because of my unique situation." Penny's voice took an upbeat tone as she went on. "Did you hear that the Vice President of the United States would be visiting San Francisco?" Penny then talked about some of the entertainments that were being planned for the man.

Luckily for Sharon she only had to endure another ten minutes of polite chit-chat before she could make her exit. Penny, as Sharon left, gave her a vellum envelope with wax seal. The older woman said it was for the library and Sharon took it with a social smile.

It took all of Sharon's composure, after leaving Penny's house, to walk across town to the park. She said a private prayer of thanks, for not running into anyone she knew. Sharon did not think she could manage social chit-chat with all the emotions raging inside her.

She was angry that she had accepted Penny's invitation in the first place! Further she was furious that the woman had backed her into the corner of having to listen to her assessment of Heath. Finally, in a small corner of her heart Sharon was sad at Penny's comment about Heath.

There was one special spot in the park that she and her children enjoyed spending time together. It had a wrought iron bench with a plaque that honored Charles Maria Weber, who founded the town. It had a nice view of the river, and a small grassy area in the front; the bench was framed by flowery shrubs.

Sharon calmed her breathing as she watched the river flow by her. She had had Violet lace her corset extra tight, wanting to make a good impression. The next ten minutes were spent just watching the water flow, and she realized it was a good metaphor for life. No matter what happened – good or bad – life went on.

That realization led her to examine all the emotions that were swirling inside her, and Sharon saw exactly what she was upset about. Penny's comment about Heath being a cold fish did not surprise her. Sharon thought back to the day in Jarrod's office, where Heath had coldly and precisely laid out exactly what he expected in return for his money.

The Heath she had known, all those years ago – and the one she had seen in the moonlight last summer at Kilkenny Farms was not a cold fish. He was caring, kind, compassionate and loving. Even as Sharon had those thoughts, she recalled at how Heath at announced, without so much as a by-you-leave that Simon was his son.

She then thought about Penny's comment that Heath was always too busy with ranch matters and mining reform to spend time with Sarah. Sharon, taking a shallow breath – all she could manage in her corset – recalled all the stories she had hear about Sarah in San Francisco. Penny had confirmed to her that where there was smoke there was fire.

Sharon took another shallow breath and watched the river flow forward. It came to her that the river parallels her life – it moved forward to give life to the valley. She was marrying Heath to give life to her children, and at the end of the day, why should she care if Heath was a cold fish.