31.
Housing had suddenly become a matter of great interest to everyone, and Bella was about ready to give up and let them all do whatever they wanted.
Not that their discussion didn't make sense in the circumstances, but they all seemed to have forgotten that it was her house. She briefly wondered if she should just grab Edward and Seth and run away to Westport for the next few days. Let the others just duke it out here. Seth would love being so close to the water, and she would love some more one-on-one time with her fake fiancée, and…
Her pleasant daydreams were rudely interrupted by a yell from Jake, who had apparently pissed off Rose enough for her to throw something at him.
"Rosie! That could have hurt me!" he protested, trying to hide behind Edward.
"It's a dishtowel!" she retorted. "Hang on, let me grab a knife from the kitchen, then we can talk about hurting you."
"See, I told you she's into kinky stuff," Jake said to Alice, pointing at Rose.
"Uhhh, do you want her to actually kill you?" Alice asked, side-eyeing both of them.
"It would be a pity if I died so young and sexy, I agree," Jake sighed, ducking behind Edward again as Rose balled up another rag to toss at him.
"Kids, can we get back to the point of this discussion?" Edward reached behind to grab at Jake's shirt and drag him back to his chair. Looking around at the rest of the people gathered around the chaotic kitchen table, he paused briefly at Bella, who just rolled her eyes. "Rose, I agree that you have a point. Buying a camper van to park in the front yard is not a solution."
Jake huffed and muttered, "Spoilsports."
"Look, I vote we just take Alice back to the Res with us," Izzy said. "There's plenty of room now that Jake's sisters have moved out, and that'll give you guys here an extra room that your dad can have. Easy!"
Bella sighed and briefly closed her eyes in exasperation. They'd been having this conversation for the last half hour, and she was so done with it. "Iz, I'm glad you and Alice are besties now…"
"BFFs," Izzy interrupted. "Don't be jealous Bells, you can have the brother but I'm going to keep the sister." It didn't help that Alice broke out in the cutest giggles before reaching out to high-5 the woman she'd viewed as a homewrecker as recently as that morning.
"Yeaaah, sure," Bella rolled her eyes. "And I'm happy for the two of you, for real! All I'm saying is that it makes more sense for Alice to just stay here for when her Dad comes over. And that Carlisle will probably be a lot more comfortable in the Lodge than right here in a house full of people he's never met before."
Seeing that Izzy was again opening her mouth, Bella raised a finger and continued, "Especially since we are strangers who are all privy to secrets about his family that he doesn't even know about yet. You gotta admit he's going to need space to process all that."
"Sure, sure," Jake agreed, winking at Izzy. "But why can't Alice spend the day here and come back with us at night? That way everyone gets their space and a comfortable bed! Think of poor Edward's back if he has to sleep on the pull-out another few nights!"
Bella gave up, letting her head hit the table with a dull thud.
"That's enough," Edward stood up. "Everyone has given their points of view, which frankly didn't even matter for the most part," he looked at Izzy, Alice and Jake pointedly. It was almost creepy how all three looked back at him with matching expressions of innocence. "The two people who actually live here have already decided and I've booked Dad a room at the Lodge. Alice, if you want to stay at the Res, that's fine. End of discussion, can we please eat now?"
Rose didn't even wait for anyone else to speak, dashing out of her chair to grab her plate and load it with the lasagna they'd baked earlier that evening. "Thank you, Edward, the only sensible person in this room!" she called over her shoulder. "I don't know about you slackers, but I've had a long day at work and I'm fucking hungry. Don't mind me, go on," she waved them towards the food even as she stuffed her face and sat back at the table.
"Okay, that was impressive," Jake conceded. "I think she just broke some kind of speed record there."
"Are you trying to get killed?" Alice repeated her question from earlier, bumping past him to grab a plate.
…
Carlisle's flight would land in Seattle around 11 am, so taking into account a break for lunch along the way, Edward would most likely be back in Forks with his father by 4:30 pm at the earliest. That gave the group in Forks plenty of time to get their own work out of the way. It also gave Bella a long time to fret, but she was making an effort to distract herself.
Rose, as usual, was the most focused of the lot; she had a long day ahead and would be home later than normal. Unsurprisingly, she was also the only person who wasn't disappointed about potentially missing out on meeting Carlisle that night.
"It isn't a damned TV show, guys," she said, rolling her eyes in exasperation. "We aren't just going to sit on the sidelines and eat popcorn while the action goes down. You do realize this?"
"Rosie, how could you say that?" Jake protested. "I'd never sit on the sidelines! And we are right in the thick of it! And it's literally my job to dig into these things. The only difference here is that we're actually all involved in this thing."
"Sure," Rose conceded. "But I think we might all need to take a step back and get some perspective. What do you think will happen if we're all hanging out of the windows waiting for Carlisle to appear, huh? The man doesn't even know any of the stuff that we've found out in the last month or so. He needs time to first meet his own kids and catch up with everything that's been happening with them, before we can tell him about his wife."
"We don't know what he knows," Alice spoke up quietly. "I still don't know how to ask if he knew… any of what we've found out. He's been a lovely father to me, but thinking about what Edward has told me now, he really wasn't there for him when he needed his father the most, was he? Does he know about mom's past? Did he just ignore what she's been doing more recently, the way I was ignoring everything Jasper did?"
"That's right," Rose agreed, reaching out and squeezing Alice's hand. "He might not know anything about Esme's past. He might not have a clue about Jasper and Esme's connection. I agree that he should know about it, so it's for the best that we tell him what we have found out, but that's more of a private family matter, isn't it?"
Seeing how pouty Jake was looking, Bella couldn't help teasing him. "Or are you so excited because you just want to meet Alice's dad?"
"I mean, of course I want to meet Alice and Edward's dad," Jake grumbled, giving Bella the stink eye. "Like you aren't keen yourself, loser."
Bella just laughed and took a pointed look at the clock on the wall. "Oh look, it's time for me to take Seth for his doctor's appointment."
"Coward," Jake muttered.
"Back at ya," Bella shot back.
"Alright kids," Rose cut in. "I'm leaving with Bella and Seth. What're you lot planning for the day? Do we expect you for dinner or what?"
"I'm going to talk to my lawyer right now, and after that Jake said he'd show me around the town. And Izzy said she and Leah will drive up in the afternoon as well, so I figured we'd come back here in the evening. Maybe when Dad and Edward are back, I can go meet him at the Lodge for dinner?" Alice listed off.
"Sounds good," Bella agreed. "Plus, I'm sure they'll both be tired with all the travelling they're doing today." It was a long drive after all, and Edward was going to be driving both ways. She'd barely been able to think of anything else since he had left earlier that morning.
While the others wrapped up their conversations and Alice volunteered to get Seth, Bella took a moment to breathe.
She hadn't told anyone about the irrational worry that had kept her awake most of the night, the sudden panic that had hit her at the thought that someone might try to tamper with Edward's car the same way Izzy's car had been tampered with. The reminder of how her little Seth had suffered… she'd calmed somewhat at the sight of her son sleeping peacefully next to her, but after a while hadn't been able to stay in bed. Edward was in the room next door, and she'd been freaked out enough to go to him, needing the sense of safety and comfort he always gave her. He'd barely woken up, just holding her close without question, giving her a few hours of much needed rest. She'd been back in her own room before Seth had even stirred.
"Bella? Hey Bella, you okay?" Alice looked concerned. "You were kind of spaced out for a moment."
"Yeah, just… tired I guess," she shrugged, trying to smile. "Don't worry about it. I'll get a nap with Seth when we get back from the hospital. He's always exhausted after physiotherapy, though he's doing so much better now!"
Alice visibly melted at the mention of her favorite kid. "He's really the best! Hey, is there something I could get him as a treat later?"
This time Bella's smile came easier. "He's so spoilt with all his aunts and uncles already! But if you guys go to the market, you could get him some cherries… he loves them!"
"Hmm, I was thinking of ice cream, but this is better," Alice grinned back. She really didn't look much like her brother, but something about her smile made Bella warm right up to her, much as she had done with Edward.
Luckily, they all had things to do and places to be, and Bella didn't get much time to dwell on her worries and thoughts over the next few hours. It helped that Edward kept texting once he reached Seattle, while he was waiting for his father, and later when they decided to get lunch just outside the city. It made her feel a whole lot better when he surprised her by video calling from the ferry back, claiming he just wanted to show Seth the view. He knew Seth was napping at that time though, so she knew that was just an excuse.
It comforted her and kept her going, and at the same time it made her wonder if she was losing her mind.
She knew she shouldn't be so clingy. She knew this was not a real relationship, and even if it had been, she wasn't an unreasonable person. She hadn't been this way the last time Edward had stayed back in Westport with Alice. But somehow, she just couldn't turn off the sense of wrongness that troubled her the whole day, no matter what she did.
…
"So, what's been happening here anyway?" Carlisle asked. "Your engagement is great news, but what's Alice doing here?
Edward took a deep breath, trying to stay in the positive headspace he'd been in all morning. Maybe today would be the day when he finally managed to get over his differences with his father. Maybe they'd have a real conversation without Esme looking over their shoulders… and yet Edward struggled.
It shouldn't be so difficult to have a conversation. Not with your own father, anyway. The last time they'd met had been during the disastrous family vacation when Esme had tried to make a move on him and set him up for an arranged marriage within a span of hours. Carlisle had seemed oblivious then, but now Edward wondered if it was something simpler… Maybe his father just didn't care enough.
Lunch had been nice, they had chatted about what Carlisle had been up to, surface level conversation about Edward's last best-seller, and even the car he was driving. It had actually been nice. But now that they were wending their way back towards a place and people he had started thinking of as 'home', Edward found himself fumbling for words. Ultimately, he chose to address the part that he figured was more important.
"Alice is fine now, but she's been pretty upset," he started. His sister had explicitly asked him to break the news to their dad, but Edward still felt a little uncomfortable talking about her business. "The thing is, she's left Jasper for good. She's started divorce proceedings and…"
"What?! Wait up, what do you mean divorce?" Carlisle seemed completely shocked. "They always seemed so happy together, why would she leave him? Why didn't you tell her to think about it some more, maybe get counseling?"
"Me? Dad, she's an adult who can make her own decisions," Edward said, keeping his tone neutral with an effort. "I can understand why this is a shock to you. When I met her in LA just a couple months back she was totally wrapped up in him, even though I kept trying to make her realize that he was cheating on her." He nodded sharply when Carlisle gasped at that. "So it came as a surprise when she called me from Australia some weeks back, completely broken because she'd finally seen him for what he is. She flew back immediately, and after a lot of thought she decided to end it."
"My poor girl," Carlisle whispered, gazing out of the window at the scenery speeding by. "What about him, has he reached out? You said she's getting a divorce? Don't they have to try to work it out first or something?"
"You can ask her for details," Edward said. "She just wanted me to let you know the basic facts so it wouldn't come as a shock. She is still working through everything, so she's not really up to too much discussion about Jasper just yet."
"But she's not at your place right now," Carlisle clarified. Edward wondered if he was just being over sensitive and imagining the note of accusation in his voice. "Why would you bring her out to stay with some strangers instead of informing me and Esme immediately? We would have made sure she got the support she…"
"Not my decision," Edward said shortly. "Alice wanted to come. It's up to her to work through things in whatever way is best for her. I'm sure she would have reached out to you when she was ready." He took a deep breath and continued, "She's been avoiding Esme's calls, and whenever she tried to call you she couldn't get through. It doesn't matter anyway, because she's doing much better now. You will see when we get there."
Carlisle bristled a little at Edward's curt tone, but after a few minutes, his face smoothed out and he let it go. "Why would she avoid Esme, though," he wondered. "They've always been so close, and Esme has always made such an effort to be part of both your lives! Look at the way she even came to visit you in Westport. Heck, I haven't even seen pictures of your new place yet."
"It's hardly new, Dad," Edward sighed. It really wasn't any use hoping for things to change, he realized. "I've lived there for almost two years now. And yeah, Esme did come over unexpectedly. But about Alice… I think the reason she wasn't keen on talking to her mom was that Esme had been in touch with Jasper, and Alice didn't want to listen to her mom supporting him at that point."
It was the most diplomatic way he could have couched the situation, and Edward briefly wondered what Bella would have thought of it.
"Well, I know Esme has always had a good opinion of Jasper," Carlisle conceded, "But we are her parents! I'd never let anything bad happen to my own daughter!"
"Dad," Edward gritted out, so close to just erupting about why he never took that kind of care about his son… but then paused. It wasn't a competition between him and Alice, even though it always felt that way when he was around his father. "Don't worry too much about her. She's in a much, much better state of mind now than when she arrived. It helped that we were faced with something of a mystery… and you know how much Alice loves mysteries."
That made Carlisle relax, and with a chuckle he turned his attention back to the lush greenery that lined the road. "That's true! Do you remember how keen she was to become a detective when she was a kid?"
Edward grinned at the memory, relaxing again. "How can I forget? She's been pestering me to take her to see the ruins of this old manor house in Forks ever since I told her about it."
"Since when have you been so interested in mysteries?" Carlisle asked with a humorous lilt in his voice. "I think the closest you ever got to it was reading about a mystery in a book. You always were so much like your mom…"
This voice faded away, and Edward swallowed the unexpected lump in his throat. It was true; it was one of the few things he still remembered about his mother, and to hear it from his dad…
"But you still haven't told me about your fiancée," Carlisle said.
Edward saw another opportunity to speak about the tender wounds that had shaped his heart slip by, and sighed. Maybe he could press it, maybe it was time to finally have it out with his father...
"You said she has a son? How old is she? Are you sure she isn't trying to use you?" Carlisle continued, blissfully unaware of his son's emotions. "You can't be too careful about people these days!"
"I'd bet my life on Bella," Edward stated plainly, not even needing a moment's thought. "I trust her more than I trust you, actually, no offence." He paused briefly for the polite laughter Carlisle responded with. "The mystery was something she and I stumbled upon thanks to Esme, actually. You know, Forks is a pretty unusual name for a place; Do you remember Esme ever mentioning it?"
Carlisle seemed taken aback by this shift in conversation. "No? I'm pretty sure I would have remembered the name if she had. Why?"
"Hmm," Edward negotiated a tricky curve that he knew meant they were now just about half an hour away from Forks. "When Esme visited us at Westport, Bella mentioned Forks, and asked if she'd ever been there. You know, making casual conversation."
Carlisle hummed in agreement, but Edward could sense his confusion.
"Well, Esme actually fainted away when she heard the name," Edward said plainly. "She wouldn't listen to us when she woke up, and left almost immediately. I was confused, but the next time we visited Forks, we asked around. It seemed that there was an Esme Platt who used to live there, a while back."
Carlisle seemed stunned into silence, and Edward let him think over what he'd just learnt.
"That doesn't seem possible," he finally said, "No, there must be some mistake. Is this your mystery? Ridiculous!"
"I didn't think it was possible either," Edward agreed coolly. "Anyway, we are pretty sure now that she wasn't the Esme Platt who lived here in Forks at all."
Carlisle huffed out a breath. "Well of course she wasn't! So what, you were just looking into some poor innocent woman's life? Huh, maybe that's how you write those books of yours, digging into people's business unnecessarily!"
Edward thanked his stars that they had finally reached the outskirts of Forks, because he wasn't sure how long he could keep from sniping back at his father. He only managed to hold back now because he didn't want to create a more stressful situation for Alice.
No, this was not about his issues with his dad. It was about making sure that the man had all the facts. If he wanted to continue to choose Esme over his son, well, Edward was old enough to have come to terms with that. But he would make sure his father knew who exactly it was that he was choosing. And for him to be receptive and open to all the information they'd found, Edward knew he would have to stay calm.
The atmosphere in the car remained awkward till they stopped in front of the Lodge, which Carlisle viewed rather dubiously. He seemed a bit more reassured by the welcoming interiors, and seemed to forget his apprehensions entirely when he saw Alice jump up from a couch near the window, rushing over to greet him with a hug.
…
Two hours later, Edward was on the verge of a headache to beat all headaches.
Much as Alice seemed to have cheered up considerably in the last couple of days, the moment she saw her father, it was like she was swept away by a massive tidal wave of emotions. At one point Edward was seriously concerned about how much she was crying, and abruptly cut into the conversation to insist that she hydrate and splash some water on her face as well.
Carlisle was almost as bad, oscillating between concern for Alice, anger at Jasper, and disbelief that she hadn't told him about it first. He did acknowledge that Edward had done everything to support his sister, but that didn't lessen Edward's desire to punch something. Maybe the owner of the Lodge wouldn't mind a dent in the ugly wallpaper.
Still, he could see how much it meant for Alice to have her father supporting her… Even if it did make him feel like an outsider intruding into their family.
As Alice spoke, she not only shared what she had already told Edward, but other instances and details as well, along with all that her lawyer had advised her to do to expedite her divorce. Yet, they still hadn't reached the point in the story where Jasper had caused Izzy's accident, and it seemed like they'd be talking for quite a while.
"Why don't I go down and see what we can get for dinner," Edward suggested, standing and stretching. "It's getting late and talking is tiring work, right?"
Alice smiled and nodded, wiping off another spate of tears, while Carlisle waved him off distractedly.
Sighing, Edward left them to it. They had only been talking about Alice's relationship woes so far, and it seemed like getting to the actual crux of their current situation—Jasper's connection with Esme, and how much Carlisle knew about any of it—would have to wait a little longer. Ordering their food only took a few minutes, and the kind lady who was in charge of the kitchens assured him that she would have it all sent up shortly. He had nothing more to do there, so he supposed he should go back up.
But his head pounded at the thought, and he found himself wishing, not for the first time, that he could just walk out and go home to Bella. He fiddled with the phone in his pocket, considering his options. He couldn't just leave right now, but he could at least call and talk to her. No sooner did that thought arise, than he was hit by the need to hear her voice.
Changing course, he turned back towards the kitchens, where he had spotted a door leading out back. He figured that would give him more privacy than the front of the Lodge, where several people would have gathered for dinner at that time.
Luckily she picked at the first ring, and the moment he heard her voice, he felt like he could finally breathe again.
"Bella," he said, closing his eyes and leaning against the brick wall.
"Edward," she replied in kind, a little teasing, a little fond. "Have you eaten yet?"
"Not yet," he replied. "But why is that the first thing you asked me? Oh wait, were you waiting for us for dinner?" he groaned. "I'm so sorry, I should've called and let you know earlier…"
Bella's soft laugh interrupted him. "Relax Edward, it isn't a big deal. I was just worried… and I kind of figured this would be a long conversation. How's that going? Are you ok?"
"I'm…" Edward paused. He could just tell her he was fine, of course, but he didn't want to. "I… I'm angry, Bella," he finally sighed. "I'm so fucking angry, because I keep reaching for something that isn't there. He's so focused on Alice, and yeah I get that she's been through a lot, but… why is he my father when he clearly doesn't care?"
"I don't know, Edward," she said sadly. "I could say that things might change, that he might realize how his behavior is affecting you; but there isn't any guarantee of that, is there? I hoped all my life that mom would come back. That maybe she would love us… even if she and dad didn't love each other anymore, she'd love me and Izzy, right? Wasn't that how moms worked?"
She laughed shortly. "Nope, apparently that wasn't how our mom functioned, because that never happened. The only time she showed any interest in us was when Izzy was hanging out with a bunch of delinquents… to encourage her to act even wilder, as if it was ok, as if it was ok that my sister was willing to do all that stuff just so she'd maybe get closer to mom." She paused. "Doesn't work that way, Edward. And it hurts. But for what it's worth, I do get what's going on with you right now, and I'm telling you right now, you don't need to be there if it's upsetting you. Just come back home for now. He can focus on Alice, and she can just call Jake to get her when they're done for the night. I bet you haven't even managed to get to the Esme part of the problem yet, have you?"
"Not even close," Edward confessed.
"There you go!" she exclaimed, and he could imagine her gesturing wildly with her free hand the way she would sometimes do when she was worked up about something. "So tell them something came up, and we'll go get Carlisle over for breakfast tomorrow and just lay it all out. You shouldn't have to deal with all this crap alone. Not when you have us now."
Hearing the sheer indignation in her voice made Edward smile, his chest feeling a lot lighter.
"Alright," he agreed, already feeling much better than he had a few minutes ago. "I'll ask them to pack my order and just come home then."
"That's right," agreed Bella. "What did you get for dinner, by the way? Is it their steak? They have the best steak!"
Edward laughed and after a few minutes they both ended the call. The rest of the evening had been weighing on him, but after speaking to Bella, he felt free again. A quick word with the kitchen to make his food take-away, and he was dashing up the stairs. If Carlisle was surprised by his sudden declaration that he needed to leave, he didn't show it. Alice looked a lot more concerned, ready to leave with him if needed, but he just hugged her gratefully, promising that nothing serious had happened.
"Jake will come get you whenever you're ready," he reminded her as he left. "Dad must be tired as well, so even though he'll never say it, I'm depending on you to make sure he gets to bed early." Carlisle scoffed, but didn't say anything when Alice fixed him with a pouty glare. "Let's all meet again in the morning for breakfast at Bella's place, alright?"
With a final wave, Edward left. It wasn't far to Bella's place, less than a ten minute walk in fact, so he set off at a brisk pace. He was hardly down the street though, when he stopped in surprise at the figure pacing restlessly near the intersection.
"Rose?" he called out, completely bemused when the woman in question turned and sprinted towards him. "Hey, is everything ok?"
"Did you see Jake?" she asked urgently.
When he shook his head no, she let out a frustrated noise. "Damn that boy. Alright come on, I have to tell you something."