Oh Brother, Where Art Thou? Grampa has a heart attack at the movies and when visited in hospital he explains Homer has a brother, who turns out to be extremely wealthy!
PlotAbraham Simpson and Jasper go to the movies to see McBain. However they find it rubbish because they're old and don't understand good action movies.
The movie is shown at the climax where Mendoza after disposing of McBain at a party with a salmon puff that dispenses sleeping gas, is gloating in an evil board meeting that nothing can stop his evil plan.
"Only your death." said McBain bursting out from the table.
"McBain!" Mendoza gasped.
McBain gunned down everyone with a big ass machine gun.
He then grabbed Mendoza and threw him out the window.
"Nooooooooo! McBaaaaaiiiiin!" He plummets to his death into a gasoline truck that blows up violently.
McBain observes as his girlfriend quips a response.
"You sure broke up that board meeting."
"I'm thinking of holding a meeting. In bed..." said McBain.
They kiss passionately.
The end.
McBain will return in McBain II: You have the right to remain dead!
Grampa and Jasper jeer and boo.
Grampa goes to rant to the ticket officer, an early version of Squeaky Voiced Teen before he became a joke character.
"The screen was too small! The floor was sticky, and the subplot felt tacked on!"
"I'm sorry but no refunds old timer." said the young ticket guy.
However Grampa has chest pains and succumbs to a heart attack.
"Okay don't have a heart attack old man..." said the ticket inspector.
"Don't tell me... what... to... do!" Grampa fainted.
...
Meanwhile the Simpsons are saying grace but Bart eats his food while pretending to pray.
"Mom! Bart ate his food!" Lisa yelled.
"Did not!" Bart argued.
"Did too!"
"Did not!"
"Did too!"
"Did not!"
"Quiet you two! I don't want to hear another word from either of you!" Homer yelled.
"Bum! Bum! Bum!" said Oscar repeatedly.
"Or you, Oz." said Homer.
Bart and Lisa used sign language at each other.
Bart used signs to say "I think you stink!"
Lisa used signs to say "You drive me crazy!" They then giggled.
"Hey I thought I said no words from either of you!" Homer told them off.
"We weren't! We were just playing charades!" said Bart.
"Well no charades either! Now get back to praying!" Homer demanded.
They all prayed. However Oscar had to ruin it.
"Dear Satan, I know I'm already damned for all eternity but please be merciful and not use red hot pokers on me or gouge out my eyes. Amen-"
"Oscar!" Homer yelled.
Suddenly the phone rang. Marge answered. It was the hospital. Abe was in a very bad way. "Oh my goodness! It's Grampa!" Marge explained.
Homer took the phone.
"Oh my god!" Homer gasped.
...
Luckily someone took him to hospital and he recovered with his family by his side.
"Oh Dad we were so worried about you!" Homer cried.
"You don't care about me! You put me in a lousy home!" Grampa ranted.
"D'oh!" Homer tries to contain his anger. "I know you're fragile right now old man, but you're really pushing it!"
"Fortunately Nr Simpson had a mild arrhythmia." said Dr Hibbert.
"Mild?! Feh! There was nothing mild about it!" Abe yelled.
"Ahehehe!" Dr Hibbert chuckled.
"Homer, my boy come closer." said Abe.
Homer got too close to him.
"Not that close!" Abe said annoyed.
"Sorry." said Homer.
"Any way, I thought I was really a gonna. I have something to tell you my boy..." said Grampa.
"What is it?" Homer asked.
"You have a brother..." Abe explained.
Everyone gasped.
"Dun! Dun! Duuuuuun!" Oscar went and made a dumb dramatic sound.
Bart face palmed.
"It all started long ago..." Grampa explained. In his youth he had a relationship with a carny. She got pregnant so he left her. Then some time later he married Mona and had Homer.
"I was checking out the skirts at the carnival when I first saw her." said Abe narrating. Young Abe saw a pretty carny.
"Hey, handsome, wanna dunk the clown?" said the lady.
"Please don't! I just shampooed!" said Krusty, who was the dunking clown for some reason.
Oscar chuckled.
"Abe you must never tell Homer about Herbert!" said Mona.
The flashback then ended.
"That wasn't very nice of you abandoning that poor woman who fathered your child!" Marge scolded Grampa.
"(Abe's old guy gibberish)! Back then extra marital relationships was frowned upon! I was in the army! I could have lost my job!" Grampa yelled. "Son. I want you to find Herbert..."
"Ooooooh! An illegitimate brother, how Dickensian..." said Lisa interested.
"Wait if a Grampa wasn't married to Unky Herb's Mom when she had him, then that means he's a bastard!" said Bart.
"Bart!" Marge yelled.
"What? That's the proper term... I looked it up in a dictionary." said Bart.
"Yes but still..." said Marge.
"Bastard! Bastard! Bastard! (Bart sings the Simpsons theme tune with just the word Bastard.)"
"Bart!" Homer yelled
Bart continued singing the word Bastard.
"Bart!" Marge yelled.
"Bastard! Bastard! Bastard!"
"Bart!" Homer and Marge yelled.
"Bastard!" Oscar repeated.
Marge gasped.
"See what you've done?! He's copying you!" Homer yelled at Bart.
...
Homer tries everywhere including an orphanage run by a man who is the spitting image of Dr Hibbert. (In fact as a gag he is actually his long lost brother!)
"I had a brother." said the orphanage master. "I think he's a doctor now."
At Springfield General.
Dr Hibbert is examining a set of conjoined twins.
"Brothers eh? I had a brother. I think he opened an orphanage." said Dr Hibbert chuckling.
At the orphanage. The manager Hibbert explained Herb was in Detroit.
"Look just tell me where he is!" Homer yelled.
"Read between the lines, asshole... He's in Detroit!" The orphanage owner got annoyed.
"Where is my Bro-" Homer was um being stupid.
"Detroit! He lives in Detroit!" Hibbert yelled.
"Thank you." said Homer.
Homer also uses the phone a lot to find Herbert Powell.
"Dad some other people need to use the phone..." Bart sighed.
"No can do. Trying to find long lost brother..." said Homer.
Meanwhile a Herbert Powell is at a business meeting angry with his board because they don't know how to name cars properly.
A board lady suggests Persephone as a car name.
"Persephone?! Persephone?! What sort of moron name is that?!" Herbert is voiced by Danny Devito by the way.
"She was the Greek goddess of harvests." said a board man.
"People don't want cars named that! They want vicious animal names like Mustang and Cheetah! What am I paying you morons for?!" Herbert Powell ranted.
Sometime later after Homer is on the verge of giving up he manages to contact Herbert Powell.
"Who is this by the way?!" Herbert asks.
"This is Homer J Simpson, son of Abraham Simpson. I'm here to tell you I might be your baby brother!" Homer says tearfully.
Herbert pauses.
"Hey answer damn it!" Homer yells.
"I'm speechless with emotion!" Herbert replies. "So the old man finally told you about me. I'd like to meet you."
"Oh you can come round to Springfield! My wife makes a lovely-" Homer replied.
"I have a better idea. Why don't you come over to me." said Herbert. There is a pan out of Herbert's mansion.
"Okay! See ya!" said Homer.
After Homer put the phone down. "Why are you people recording me from a Dr Claw angle?!" Herbert yelled as during this entire scene we only saw his arm while he sat in his office in the dark alone.
...
Homer took his family to find Herbert. The ride there was rather eventful.
Bart started singing an annoying song to annoy Homer. "Faster faster! Faster faster! Faster faster!" He sang to the Simpsons theme tune.
"Don't make me stop the car!" Homer yelled.
Then Homer had to stop for the toilet.
Then he drove over a pothole and knocked his drink over himself. Bart and Oscar laughed hysterically at him.
Then they got stopped by a cop for speeding apparently. However the cop mistook Homer for someone famous and let him go.
Eventually Homer arrived at Herbert's mansion. Herbert waits anxiously at the car window which for dramatic effect is mirrored so we don't see Homer inside until he puts down the window.
Herbert and Homer are so surprised they look a like that Homer gets out and hugs his long lost brother. Well half brother.
Herbert is then introduced to the family. He gets straight away that Bart is very cheeky, but likes his smart alecky attitude.
He wants to hold Maggie so Homer throws her at him. Yes Homer actually does that. Old episode weirdness I dunno... Luckily he caught her.
"Homer! Don't throw our baby like that!" Marge told Homer off.
He then shows the family around his estate and says they can request anything of his staff no matter what time of night.
"If you want pork chops at 2 in the morning, chef will make you pork chops at 2 in the morning!" said Herbert.
"Ooooooh!" Homer got an idea about eating at night...
Marge sighed.
Herbert tried to explain he always had clean towels to offer.
"Wait! Two am, I'm steaming drunk and hungry. And your chef will just make me pork chops?!" said Homer delighted.
"Gahahahaha! Homer you love your pork chops don't ya?" Herbert chuckled.
Plot 2Unfortunately Homer did just that on their first night at his estate.
"Y'ello! Chef, I want some pork chops with plenty of apple sauce!" Homer called the chef on his room phone at 2 am...
"Homer it's 2 in the morning... you shouldn't be eating at this time! It's not good for you!" Marge groaned as she tried to sleep.
Homer scoffed at her,
Some time later a friendly chef arrived with a plate of porkchops.
"Your porkchops sir." said the chef smiling. "With apple sauce."
"Thanks chef." said Homer.
Marge groaned as he ate pork chops in bed.
Elsewhere in the kids lounge adjoining their bedrooms and several other spare ones.
Bart was playing a video game. Oscar decided to read his mind with his telepathy by touching his head.
Oscar was now in Bart's mind.
"Hello, could you at least knock before you enter my mind?" said Bart's inner self.
Oscar disconnected himself from reading Bart's thoughts.
"Dude! Don't use your weirdo telepathy on me!" Bart frowned.
"Fine but you look like something is on your mind. What is it?" Oscar asked.
Bart sighed. "If you must know I had a nightmare about Sideshow Bob last night. My mind is on about my arch enemies wondering what they're up to."
Oscar sighed exasperated. "Bart relax. Stop worrying. Bob's in jail and Dr Demento is now a sadistic, evil dentist mouse in Rocko's Modern Life."
Bart winced at him referencing something. Um Oz that doesn't exist yet...
...
The family then asked for activities. However Bart and Lisa argued over the activities.
"Ponies!" Lisa yelled.
"Yacht!" Bart yelled.
"Ponies!"
"Yacht!"
"Ponies!"
"Yacht!"
"Ponies!"
Eventually they got both. Everyone was on Herbert's yacht and Lisa was riding a pony on it.
"Yeehaw!" Lisa cheered.
(A Pony neighing)
Then everyone went swimming.
Bart and Lisa wanted Homer to watch them jump in but he was too busy talking to Herbert.
"Dad look! Dad look! Dad look! Look at us dive!"
"Shut up!" Homer yelled at his kids.
They dived in.
"Hey! You didn't watch us dive!" Bart and Lisa whined.
They then played Marco Polo in the pool.
"Marco!"
"Polo!"
"I once played Marco Polo with Helen Keller." said Stewie Griffin at a public swimming pool in Quahog.
"Not funny Stewie!" Oscar said sharply.
...
Then just the boys went on some activities. Herbert took Homer, Bart and Oscar on a nature walk around his land where they threw rocks across a lake. Homer's rock went straight in without skimming.
"D'oh!" Homer groaned.
Bart laughed.
A Jesus lizard ran along the water.
Then they went on a balloon ride.
"Hey Unky Herb, can I spit over the side?" Bart asked.
"Unky? I love it! Of course you can Bart! And don't stop calling me Unky no matter what!" said Herbert.
Bart and Herbert spat over the side down at people.
Homer then sunbathes in the pool on a floatie while talking to his dad who is still in hospital.
"A billionaire! D'oh! Why did I give him up!" Abe groaned. "For goodness sake don't do anything stupid like bankrupt him!"
"Okay." said Homer. Well of course he screws things up!
Herbert kidnapped the Looney Tunes and made them play basketball against the Monstars. Michael Jordon cameoed.
"No Oz!" Bart groaned.
Then Herbert was rude to Janey whom I suspect he is related to because um she's Janey Powell. He ripped up her book and berated her to watch TV during dinner.
"Janey watch the stolen I mean cheap TV I bought." Herb yelled.
"No! And Lisa would make more sense..." said Bart.
"Mmmmmmm! Roald Dahl..." Oscar moaned.
Then Pregnant Arnold Schwarzenegger!
"Herb! I'm pregnant!" said Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Bart winced.
Then Martians from Mars Attacks arrived.
"Take us to your leader!" said the Martians.
"Oh look! Pierce Brosnan." said a Martian.
Bart face palmed.
"He'll run out of Danny Devito references soon..." said Homer exasperated.
"My lovely family. Can I offer you an egg in this trying time?" Unky herb offered them an egg...
Bart groaned exasperated.
...
They then went to the zoo. Herbert being so rich had bought it some time ago and escorted his family into the actual exhibit of the penguins where they live so the Simpsons could pet the penguins.
"Now this is spoiling them..." Marge sighed.
"Woo hoo!" Bart slid about in the ice.
Oscar hid in an igloo.
"Do you miss Antarctica?" Lisa asked a penguin.
(Penguin quacking)
"Well I think Herb should voice a cartoon penguin. No wait! Be the Penguin!" said Oscar.
Bart strangled Oscar.
(Oscar choking)
At the Simpsons house. Evergreen Terrace.
Hugo had been left behind. Poor Hugo.
He frowned and decided to make himself dinner. He looked in the fridge. There was a bucket of fish heads prepared for him as the trip to see Herbert was a last minute thing.
But Hugo was fortunate as Homer was away and couldn't stop him from accessing other foods in the fridge. And his favourite the bin. Hugo looked in the bin. Mom had thrown away some expired vegetables that went to waste. "Rotten vegetable stew ala Hugo." Hugo smirked taking out several rotten vegetables. A mouldy pepper, a rotten tomato etc.
Up in the attic he was cooking at his cauldron. He has one for some reason. As well as the fish heads and rotten vegetable stew he caught several spiders, a centipede and some beetles to eat. He also had some napkins on a plate. Hugo has a thing for eating napkins.
Hugo was humming while pouring salt and pepper into the cauldron from salt and pepper shakers while wearing a chef hat.
Meanwhile there's a movie named after this Simpsons episode. The Simpsons episode came first. In the movie John Goodman is a cyclops mugger who is also racist as he is a member of the Ku Klux Klan.
Hugo was watching said movie. It bored him. "Meh the future sucks..." He changed the channel and cartoons were on.
...
Herbert was yelling at his staff one evening in the boardroom.
Oscar came in with his laptop.
"What are you doing here?" Herb asked annoyed.
"What does it look like? I'm the narrator. I have to be here silently not interfering as I type up the episode." said Oscar.
"Okay but be quiet." said Herbert a little more patient.
"We're losing to the Japanese. Why?" Herb yelled to his workers.
"Unfair trade practices?"
"Mushy one-worlders in Washington?"
"They have sushi and anime?" Oscar suggested.
Herbert frowned at him.
"Some gypsy curse?"
"Cooool!" Oscar thinks gypsy curses are cool...
"Oscar I said be quiet..." Herb sighed.
"I'm tired of excuses! Why did I hire Harvard idiots?" Herb yelled.
"You went there." said a boardroom employee.
"Yes I know!" Herb yelled.
Then there were skinless Martians with big brains.
"We've come to conquer your planet." said the Martians from Mars attacks.
"DIE YOU ALIEN SHITHEAD!" Oscar screamed shooting the aliens.
Herb grimaced exasperated.
"Anyway, I'm a born car salesman, in fact I've played a car salesman or CEO of a company that sells cars numerous times!" said Herb.
"Except in Going Ape which was about Damn Dirty Apes! You maniacs!" Oscar yelled.
...
Herbert then showed why he was so happy to see Homer. He showed him his car museum. He offered to make Homer a car, any that he wanted.
However a clerk suggested cars for Homer.
"But I want a big car..." Homer whined.
"Americans don't like big cars." said the clerk.
"There's your problem! Instead of listening to people you're telling them what they want!" Herbert scolded his worker for not listening to Homer.
"Homer, tell the nice man what you want, in fact, Jerry you're fired!" Herbert sacked his clerk. "Homer I'll show you were the magic happens..."
He took Homer to his laboratory where scientists made cars for him. However the scientists were very familiar to Homer.
"Hey aren't you the nuclear safety inspectors?" Homer asked.
"Yes, but we only work part time. This is our real job." said the scientists/nuclear safety inspectors.
Herbert left them all to get acquainted.
Elsewhere he decided to spend some time with his niece and nephew and their friend Oscar. They watched Itchy and Scratchy cartoons on his big widescreen TV that was a big as a cinema screen with surround sound.
The episode was Itchy working at an ice cream parlour. Scratchy asks for an ice cream but Itchy shoves him in a cup and blends him to a bloody pulp with the ice cream maker.
Bart, Herbert, Lisa and Oscar laugh hysterically.
Scratchy as a blood red sundae with eyeballs as scoops is slid across the bar. Scratchy drinks himself and is normal again somehow and chases Itchy. This is an early episode before Scratchy would permanently die each episode.
There is a cat screech from Scratchy and they start laughing again.
Herbert confines his love of cartoons to help him unwind after a stressful day at the office. While he's talking to Bart and Lisa Oscar puts on the Looney Tunes.
Herbert is transfixed by the Looney Tunes.
"That's it! Get me the Looney Tunes!" He runs off to call his agents or something.
"And Michael Jordan and tiny cartoon aliens!" Oscar calls after him.
"Oscar no!" Bart whines at Oscar being weird again.
Plot 3Herbert is relaxing one afternoon and calls Bart and Lisa over to speak to their dad on the phone.
"Your old man is gonna make me very rich! Wanna talk to him?" Herbert asks.
After the kids talk to him Herbert is disappointed to hear Homer is being too timid and letting Herbert's scientists push him around with the car design.
"They suggested Rack and peanut steering." said Homer.
"Mmmmm... peanuts..." said Oscar listening in.
Herb sighed.
Herbert immediately goes to see Homer for a pep talk.
"Homer look at me. This is your car. Not anybody else's." Herbert explained. "You are going to march right back in there and call the shots! You got me?"
"Yeah!" said Homer.
"Louder! I can't hear ya!" Herbert yelled.
"Yeah!" Homer screamed.
"Now go get them!" Herbert sends him back to the lab.
"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaghh!" Homer runs in the lab screaming.
"Mr Simpson we're just-" said a scientist before being interrupted by Homer.
"Hello? Hello there! I'm in charge here!" Homer yelled. He was then very forceful with the staff and even had one of them kicked out.
Homer then tore up their blueprints for his car.
"No! No! No! Noooo!" He scribbled a blueprint out annoyed and made one with stupid suggestions like glass domes to separate the back passengers from the front where Homer and Marge would sit and horns that would play a Mexican horn sound.
The scientists called up to complain about Homer's outlandish ideas.
"Oh really? Well that's good! I'm glad Homer's pushing you around! I told him to!" Herbert yelled at his scientists. "Now you're gonna put the phone down and call me back saying how clever my brother is!"
The scientists called him back praising Homer's ideas. Even if they were stupid.
...
Meanwhile Marge and Herb enjoyed high tea by his swimming pool. Ever watchful over her baby daughter that her husband decided to throw at Herb rather than pass her to him, Marge sighed as she bottle fed Maggie.
(Maggie drinking/sucking on her bottle.)
Oscar sighed bored. Bart and Lisa were much older than him and didn't want to play with him. Maggie was too small and delicate for the hyperactive toddler to play with.
"Wipe nose." Oscar needed to blow his nose and for it to be wiped.
Marge sighed and gently held a ball of tissue up to his nose. He blew hard to clear his sinuses.
Herb hoped his gut feeling was right. That allowing a regular shmuck like his long lost brother design a car for his company.
Oscar bored waddled over to the pool where Bart and Lisa were swimming. "Pway." he wanted to play with them.
"Oz you can't swim in you clothes. Not until you've got your trunks on." Lisa explained stating the facts.
"Lis he can't swim full stop. At least not without water wings..." Bart sighed.
"I get tunks and water wings." said Oscar.
Bart sighed. Oscar was grating on him this vacation. Especially his obsession with Danny Devito.
Herb held a conversation with Marge. "Was Bart born in wedlock?"
"Yes Herb." said Marge curtly.
"We all know you weren't Unky Herb." Bart smirked. "Bastard! Bastard! Bastard..." he sang to the Simpsons theme.
Herb chuckled. "Kids..."
Marge frowned. Herb shouldn't encourage him. "Bartholomew enough of the potty mouth!"
Oscar soon arrived in his swimming trunks and wearing orange water wings on his short arms.
...
Eventually was the big show, where Homer's car would be shown.
"Ladies and gentlemen, esteemed stockholders... members of the press, Your Holiness." said Herb.
Archbishop McGee was there. Much to Oscar's amusement.
Herbert had a projected film play Homer's commercial for his car.
He had a romantic commercial advertising it as strong as a gorilla but gliding as gentle as a cloud with smooth handling as he drove it along a mountain road.
The car was then revealed under some curtains on a podium.
Everyone gasped.
Herbert was disgusted by the car as he watched Homer sit in it waving at them.
He then asked his clerk how much one of these monstrosities would cost.
The man said $82,000
"Eighty two thousand dollars?! I'm ruined!" Herbert cried and had a nervous breakdown as Homer had just bankrupted him.
Homer nervously beeped his funny car horns.
Outside a bus station.
Herbert had to get a bus somewhere as he was bankrupt and had to sell everything...
"Goodbye Unky Herb." said the kids sadly.
"Goodbye Herb..." said Marge.
"Goodbye Herb. I can't help feeling maybe you'd be better off without me..." Homer sighed.
"Maybe?! Maybe?! Of course I'd be better off you sponge head!" Herbert ranted. He got on the bus. "As far as I'm concerned I have no brother!" He snarled before the bus doors closed and it drove off.
Way to go Homeboy..." Bart sighed as Herbert's bus left for downtown Detroit.
The end.