Smashing day for an update, innit?
Anyway, join AizenTheGoat's discord server. It's always active, there's a lot of skilled writers such as Helghy, TheChamp123, JuanKui and others. If you're looking for ideas for a story, need help with one you're already writing, want motivation or just want to hang out with writers, readers and everything in between, feel free to join.
The link's: gBCv8a48J
I can't remember much of what I wrote in the previous chapters and i can't bring myself to start rereading them so if there's anything I repeated or contradicted, please bring them to my attention.
It came as a large surprise to the group when as soon as the chapter was over, the three ninjas who'd been brought in disappeared in a puff of smoke.
"I thought we had to finish the book to be able to leave." Barry gaped at the spot where Kiba had once sat. Even the chair was gone.
"Apparently, whatever brought us here can take us out whenever." Hal said.
"Come on, let us out!" Oliver yelled into the distance.
"Are we really that bad company?" Kara asked.
"No but come on, we got shanghai'd here to read about stuff that doesn't even have anything to do with us specifically . Are you really saying you don't want out?"
"Of course we all want to leave, but it's kind of obvious that it's not happening anytime soon." Naruto said before looking at the other two ninjas and J'onn. "At least not for those of us that's been shown."
Kakashi hummed. "So you're saying we could get taken away at any point?"
"It looks like it,". Clark replied for the blond.
"Well I don't know about the rest of you, but I'm not about to start dwelling on that," Kara raised herself up into the air and reclined herself horizontally as she slowly flew above everyone's heads.
"You're being very…casual about this." Naruto commented.
"So are you." She replied.
He shrugged. "I'm kind of used to having stuff be out of my control. You learn to just roll with things and hope they turn out for the best."
"That's the same thing with me," she grinned. "See, this is why blondes have all the fun."
Naruto's eyes widened. "What?"
She blinked. "What?"
"Nevermind," he sighed. Jiraiya had corrupted him more than he thought.
She grinned impishly and twirled in the air. "So when are we going to start the next chapter? We need more speeches like the last one."
"I'm guessing that's part of the metro booming something you mentioned?" Diana asked.
Kara grinned. "Oh yeah. You really should listen to rap music, Di. Heroes and Villains? Nothing but heat."
"I don't know," Oliver looked to the side. "There's some pretty suspicious words in there."
" Clutching glizzies with the fellas doesn't mean what you think it does, Oliver, and there's a lot of pause moments in MMA but you guys watch it anyway." Kara retorted.
Dinah snickered. "You better win your fight 'cause I'm coming on your ass, bae. I'm coming for that ass."
"Not one of Aljo's finest moments," Clark shook his head.
Oliver glared at her. "You know what he actually meant."
"I don't think I do or want to, Ollie." Barry shivered.
"Lots of homoeroticism in the sport, huh?" An amused Naruto asked.
Diana nodded with a smile. "You have no idea. I once saw two men kiss during their faceoff."
Naruto blinked. "Damn, really? And you watch that?"
"I watch every fighting sport there is, both the ones with men and women," Diana shrugged. "It's good sportsmanship."
"I just like to see people beat the shit out of each other. It's like Fight Club, but legal and there's no deeper message." Oliver said
Naruto thought for a moment. "We have the chunin exams in our world, but it only holds twice a year."
"What's that?" Barry asked.
"A series of examination stages to determine whether a candidate is eligible for promotion to the chunin rank." Kakashi interrupted Naruto. "Something that Naruto has yet to pass."
"Because I don't need one." Naruto preened. "Not to toot my own horn, but I'm more important than all the chunin and jonin combined."
"You kind of are tooting your own horn." Kara pointed out.
"...not to toot it too loudly then."
"That's better." She spun in the air. "Okay, when do we get to continue?"
"Why? You want to see more of your true love?" Diana teased.
"Who? The monkey or the horse?" Naruto snickered.
"I think it's the girl." Diana's smile widened. "They did have a passionate moment in the last chapter."
"I hate both of you," Kara said flatly. "From the bottom of my heart. Really."
"She must hate us because we're not animals, Naruto." Diana lamented exaggeratedly.
"For shame, Kara." Naruto shook his head. "But then again, I knew something was wrong with the way you looked at Kurama when he got introduced. I saw it in your eyes. The lust, the desire."
"The passion." Diana added. "He set your soul on fire, and it was a deep, roaring flame."
"I can feel it now." Clark said quietly.
"Easy on the romance novels, Di." Dinah patted the woman's shoulders.
"And the only desire I feel is the desire to murder you." Kara glared at Naruto.
"Don't worry, Kara. We do-"
Hal cut the blond short. "Wait, wait, we can't ignore this! How the hell do you know how that ends, Clark?!"
The kryptonian flushed. "Lois makes me read them with her."
"She has good taste," Diana commended his girlfriend. "There are few pleasures in life like being able to settle down with a good book and a bowl of ice cream."
"The diabetes speedrun is real." Oliver remarked.
Diana shrugged. After millennia of eating nothing but fruits, meat and honey, junk food was a breath of fresh air and she would continue to inhale it until there was none left to take in.
"At this point, I'm convinced that severe unhealthy habits is the basis for gaining great power." Kakashi said.
"No it's not. Look at me, I don't eat unhealthily and I can still shatter boulders with a hand." Tsunade pointed at herself.
"You drink more alcohol in a week than I've drank in my entire life," Kakashi deadpanned.
"That's not eating so my point still stands," she smirked before realization struck her. "By the gods, I'm starting to think like you."
The silver haired man merely smiled. "Give it enough time and you'll start wearing a mask too."
"To hide what?" Tsunade scoffed.
"To hide your face so people don't get instantly bewitched by your dazzling looks."
"I get the feeling you're talking more about yourself than me."
"Why?"
"Because…" she fumbled for something before giving up. "Has anyone even seen your face?"
"Well, there's my father, my mother probably, the people who helped birth me-"
"You can stop now." She sighed.
"No, no. It's coming back to me now."
She scowled as he began to name everyone who'd seem him as a baby. How he knew who they were, she was sure she was better off not knowing.
…
Eventually, the book opened again unannounced and flew into Naruto's hands.
The blond stared at it. "I guess it's just going to be looping around us from now on."
"Deathloop."
Naruto blinked. "What? What's that supposed to mean?"
She grinned sheepishly. "Ah, it's a game. It comes to my mind everytime I hear the word 'loop'."
Clark shook his head. "Imagine if I actually got you a console and you didn't have to to Barbara's to play video games."
"Jokes on you because I'm saving up for a play station five."
Oliver, Barry and Hal burst into laughter. Even Batman let out a quiet chuckle.
Oliver wiped a tear from his eye. "It took me pre-ordering with a connect the day before it was made public to get one and even then, I had to get it delivered to my doorstep."
"So it's all gone?" She asked despairingly. No wonder Barbara had laughed when she told her the same thing.
"With the wind, my dear." Barry smiled. "I had to use the speed force to register."
"Dick got mobbed at the store when he went to get his," Batman joined in.
"Oh God," she sighed.
Naruto looked at Diana who shrugged. "Right, you're not all that conversant either."
As everyone quietened down, he opened the book and the screen came down as he began to read.
Chapter 13 - Crisis (I)
"Of two earths." Barry said.
Oliver blinked. "What?"
"Nothing," the speedster smiled a tad grimly.
"You can't be serious!" A tall and athletic woman said angrily and slapped the table with her palm. But, without meaning to, she put too much strength into it and the long and luxurious conference table was smashed to bits making everyone else back away, startled.
"The table!" Oliver screeched. "You monster!"
"We made so many memories there," Barry wailed.
Diana looked at them strangely. "We don't even have this table in the watchtower."
"Actually, we do. It's the one we took to Mount Justice so we could have a new one installed, remember?" Clark reminded her.
"Oh." She blushed, embarrassed.
The kryptonian frowned. "Wait, you never even noticed the table was different?"
Dinah blinked. "It is? I just thought you had it polished."
"What? No." Clark couldn't believe it. "Did none of you really notice?"
"To be fair, most of us don't spend enough time in the watchtower to know when things change." Hal pointed out.
Barry nodded. "Yeah, we're not table enthusiasts, it's not like we can notice every minute detail on furniture."
"It is literally a different shape and color!" He was going to continue until he saw Oliver's lip quiver. "You're just messing with me, aren't you?"
"Yes, Clark. We all are." Diana lied.
"I wonder what set you off that badly though," Naruto said. Diana didn't seem the type to lose her temper so violently.
"Yeah, wrecking stuff when she's pissed is usually Hawkgirl's thing." Barry said. "If she found out you were trying to plagiarize her thing, she'd punch a hole in the wall and try to brain the first criminal she saw."
The ninjas shared a look. That sounded a lot like Sakura.
"Your reaction just now proves my point," Superman said. "I don't know what happened but there is clearly something wrong with you. Over the past two weeks, you've been distracted, made mistakes you wouldn't make normally and you've become very quick to anger too. Today you broke the arm of that robber and then lassoed him and dragged him on the ground to the police station."
Naruto whistled. "That's awfully brutal of you, Diana."
Diana flushed. "It must be something terrible because I'm usually not that violent."
"Yeah, excessive brutality is Batman's brand." Oliver pointed at Batman who stayed silent.
Clark was quick to jump to his friend's defense. "He doesn't use more force than he needs to."
"I saw him hip toss a guy so hard, his back broke." Oliver argued. "And that was in my city. Imagine what he does to people in Gotham."
"He's worse there," Dinah stated. "A friend of mine who does therapy in Blackgate said there's lots of inmates with caved in skulls from his blows."
"I think it's impressive." Kakashi said. "His strength, I mean. The skull isn't easy to damage."
"You do the same?"
"No, but I once punched a kiri nin so hard, his head flew off with bits of his neck and spine still stuck to it. It wasn't a pretty sight. You could still see his blood vessels hanging out."
Once again, everyone stopped to stare at the man.
"Is there any anecdote you can share that doesn't involve murder? Like funny ones?" Clark sighed.
"I've been in the business since I was five so no, not really."
"That's…sad." Kara muttered awkwardly. Nobody bothered to question how or why a five year old would be sent out to fight. In a society where using child soldiers was the norm, it didn't sound out of place.
"But I have the sexual ones if anyone's interested in hearing them."
No one was interested in hearing them.
"Now that was funny. It was like a scene out of a Wild West movie!" Flash piped up and laughed but he was the only one laughing. Noticing the glares everyone was directed at him, he swiftly shut up.
"Really?" Barry stared at the heroes blankly.
"You should have read the room." Hal shrugged. "Your fault."
"That's rich coming from you." Barry snorted. The lantern was one of the most insensitive people he knew.
"Until you get a grip of yourself, it's best you take a break. I don't want you hurting someone for real or worse." Superman said.
"I kind of like the way you say the 'for real, Clark." Kara moved her hand as if trying to pinpoint something. "It's got this slurry tone to it, like you're mixing in a country accent in."
"It'd make a killer adlib. " Oliver agreed. "I'm in the spot."
"For real." Kara mimicked her cousin.
"I got the glock."
"For real."
"Pull up to your block."
"Fo-"
"That's enough, you two." Clark sighed. Just where had he gone wrong with her?
"No sir." Kara shook her head. "We're in the zone. We're supergangbanging, superdri-"
Naruto silenced her by placing his hand on her mouth only to shiver a second later as saliva bubbled through the lines between his fingers. "Eugh! You spat on my hand!"
"The girl is in her name for a reason," Diana smirked.
Kara scowled at the Amazon. "Hey, yo-don't wipe your hand on my shirt, Naruto."
Green Lantern also added:
"You're not in control of your emotions, princess. Losing control in the field could spell disaster both for us and for other people. Superman is right. Take some time and rest. Besides, someone has to stay behind and keep an eye on the alien mercenary and his fox."
Naruto rolled his eyes. "Yes, because a paraplegic man and his partner can cause widespread destruction."
"You can," Clark insisted. "We just saw you and Kurama end a world a few chapters back."
"I wasn't in a wheelchair then though." Naruto raised a finger. "But hey, it's not that bad. At least my other gets to spend time with Diana here."
"Considering her current temperament, I'm not sure that's a good thing," Diana said.
"Worst case scenario, I'll give you Kurama to cuddle or something." A loud growl reverberated in his head.
The Amazon smiled. "I don't think he'd take too kindly to that."
"Trust me, he will."
Martian Manhunter suddenly called them from the control room of the Watchtower. "Everyone, Lex Luthor is on the move. He had stolen valuable pieces of technology from Star Labs. We have to move fast and intercept him."
Barry groaned. "Oh come on, again?"
Kakashi chuckled. "I'm guessing that's a recurring thing?"
"You have no idea," the speedster lamented. "The lab gets robbed at least once a month. If it's not some random supervillain looking for tech for a quick buck or to upgrade their stuff, it's Lex Luthor stealing something for his plan to take us down."
Clark scoffed. "You think you have it bad? I could just be going about my way one afternoon and boom, I get attacked by Metallo or Ultra Humanite or Lex with some new reason to hate me."
Naruto snorted. "I had an entire terrorist organisation hunting me down."
"Amateurs."
The three paused. "What?"
"I said," Batman smirked. "Amateurs."
At the Martian's call, everyone rushed out of the conference room except for Wonder Woman. She let herself drop on the chair and with her elbows on her knees, she buried her face in her palms. She let out a deep sigh. Out of habit, an exclamation came out of her mouth. "Great Hera!"
"There, there." Naruto rubbed the amazon's shoulder. "It could be worse. You could have been encased in a block of wood for hours like I was."
Diana blinked. "What? Why would that happen?"
"Injustice, Diana. All I did was fly off the handle a bit."
"That flying off the handle a bit involved you going berserk and trying to kill us all," Kakashi said. "You've got to tell both sides of the story."
"It's the little things that get to them," Naruto shook his head. "Can you believe that? You go on a rampage once and all of a sudden, you're dangerous."
"That hardly sounds fair," she giggled.
But after realizing what she said she gnashed her teeth and, standing up, she kicked her chair into the opposite side of the room.
"Yeah, people tend to become less great in your eyes when you know they'll kill you if they find out you're their husband's kid," Kara said.
"So that means Hera is the evil stepmother here?" Barry mused.
"Looks like it."
"Ah, I see. Anger management issues." A deep voice was heard from the entrance of the room and a chortle followed.
Turning around, she saw a small fox cub in the doorway with his fluffy nine tails wagging lazily behind him. She pinched the bridge of her nose and took in a deep breath before exhaling out loud, attempting to calm herself down.
Just then, a man in a wheelchair came from behind and picked the fox cub from the scruff of his neck as if he was a cat and put him in his lap.
"Don't tease the poor girl, Kurama."
"You think you know me," Oliver grinned.
"Be careful how you speak to me, young man. I've lived ten of your lifetimes." Diana chided Naruto who rolled his eyes with an amused smile.
"And here you are mushing up with him." Kara spoke. "Talk about robbing the cradle."
"You're over twice his age too," Diana retorted.
" Chronologically," Kara stressed.
"I don't mind getting my cradle robbed." Naruto shrugged.
It was Naruto. A bit over three weeks passed since the Psions' annihilation and by now, with Doctor Fate's help, all the infected natural energy had been expelled from his chakra pool and his body had reverted to normal. He was only left with a temporary feeling of weakness. In his books, he considered himself fine - nothing that a few dozen bowls of ramen could not fix - but the sorcerer insisted that he did not do any effort for a few more days, not even walking until he fully recovered.
"Is there something you need?" Wonder Woman asked stiffly.
"Your bedside manners need improvement," Hal told Diana who ignored him.
"I was on my way to grab some food from the kitchen for Kurama when I heard you guys arguing. Trouble in paradise?"
"They grounded her," Kyuubi said and snickered like a hyena. "Naughty girls get sent to their rooms."
"It's kind of embarrassing when you realize she's older than all of us combined," Clark commented. "Except maybe Hawkman and Hawkgirl."
Diana grunted. "You don't have to bring up my age all the time."
"How old are you exactly?" Kakashi asked.
"She's still in her prime." Kara sighed enviously.
Naruto involuntarily sniggered too but he quickly tried to mask it with a fake cough when he saw the woman's eyes almost spewing fire from how hard she was glaring.
"Why? What did you do?"
Seeing her refusing to answer, Naruto shrugged and turned his wheelchair around.
"Oh well. If you wanna talk, I can lend you an ear while Kurama eats."
Kara hummed. "If you're bored enough, you can listen to anything."
Diana frowned. "Are you implying that I'm boring?"
"No but come on, he's trying to listen to your problems even though he barely knows you. That's not concerned stranger behavior, that's bored convalescent behavior."
"It's not," Tsunade shook her head. "Naruto's similar in that aspect too."
Not waiting to hear her reply, he pushed his wheelchair out of the conference room and headed towards the elevator. He was halfway there when he felt someone push his wheelchair from behind.
He let his head back and looked up to see who it was...but it was not possible to see their face due to the large pair of breasts obscuring his view. Nonetheless, it became clear to him who that was.
'Wow. They're so much bigger up close.' was his first honest thought.
"They are pretty large," Kara nodded. "It should be me."
Naruto flushed along with Diana. It wasn't necessarily him, but it was still embarrassing to read out his other self's intrusive thoughts. It didn't help that he wholeheartedly agreed with them.
"That's…flattering," the Amazon whispered to him. "Do you think that too?"
He nodded gently.
"Yeah, they're pretty big." Tsunade commended the woman before smirking. "Not as large as mine though."
Kakashi sighed. At least she didn't start groping herself.
But his eyes did not linger for more than 2 seconds because he practically felt Kyuubi starting to grin under his whiskers. He did not want the fox to do a repeat of what he had done after the incident with the Queen of Almerac, Maxima. He had laughed at him even months after that incident.
"How do you feel about your ride or die being interested in another man, Clark?" Kara clasped her hand around an imaginary microphone and brought it to her cousin's face.
Clark pushed her hand away irritably. "She's not my ride or die and I don't like her. I'm with Lois for Pete's sake."
"He's in denial," she said to Naruto. "He's actually very hurt by this."
"Don't worry, I'm sure she'll come back to you if you get rich." Barry patted the man's shoulder with a handful of banknotes.
Clark looked at them. "Why do they say for motion picture use only?"
"Because my life is a movie." The speedster grinned.
Clark sighed. He needed new teammates.
⁂
Ridiculously loud sounds of chewing and swallowing were coming from a tiny fox as he gorged himself with food. If in the Elemental Nations Kyuubi could be described with one of the 7 deadly sins it would have been the sin of wrath. In the present, however, nothing fit him better than the sin of gluttony. His stomach was like a bottomless pit.
'I'm forever glad that you're just a lazy fox who likes to sleep all day,' Naruto said to Kurama in his mind.
'I don't know, I've been feeling peckish lately. The last time I slept, I dreamt of eating a herd of cattle.'
Naruto snorted. 'Good one.'
'I'm serious. I'm going on a binge eating spree the next time you release me.'
He began to sweat.
"It is amazing how much he can eat no matter how many times I see it," Wonder Woman said as a means of getting the conversation started.
"That's not what you wanted to talk about, was it?"
"Jesus, at least grease the conversation first." Oliver shook his head.
Naruto rolled his eyes. "Forgive me for not wanting to beat around the bush."
"I prefer it this way actually," Diana agreed. "I'm not fond of the preamble and dancing around the topic at hand. It's the only thing about my ambassadorial position that I hate."
Naruto stared at her with wide eyes. "I thought it was just me."
"It's not, Naruto. It really isn't," she complained. "We could spend hours in one room and eventually not agree on what we even met for."
"And then you have to come back the next day and repeat the same thing." Naruto joined her.
Kakashi tried to argue. "It can't be that bad-"
"I spent a week in rock country trying to mediate the agreement on how much they'd add as tax onto the price of the salt they sell to grass country. Salt!"
The kage grimaced. Maybe it was that bad.
At his question, the princess' shoulders slouched.
"It's a long story. I don't know where to start from."
"Just start from the beginning. Not like I have anything else to do here," he said and he poured himself a glass of orange juice.
"Yeah, he's definitely bored." Kara nodded to herself.
"I can kind of see it now," Hal admitted.
"Why am I even talking to a stranger about these things..." Wonder Woman muttered mostly to herself.
"You looked like you needed someone to talk to and I was bored. But it's up to you," he said easily and took a big gulp of juice from the glass.
"Called it!" Kara laughed.
"Yeah we get it, settle down." Clark grumbled.
Wonder Woman sighed.
"It started 3000 years ago when I was born."
Sounds of coughing came from Naruto as he choked with his juice and even the gluttonous fox stopped eating and looked at her instead with wide eyes.
Tsunade looked like she was about to have a stroke. "What?!"
"We were like that too when we found out," Oliver laughed.
"You're older than both the sage and the tailed beasts," a wide eyed Kakashi muttered. "I knew you had many years under your belt, but this is insane."
"And she said it so casually like she didn't outlive the entire medieval era." Barry shook his head.
Naruto looked at Diana who seemed to have found the roof and floor interesting. "If it makes you feel better, it doesn't change anything for me. You're still fine."
She smiled, still a tad embarrassed.
Oliver grinned. "But the grooming allegation would be crazy."
"Did I hear well or is my translation device broken? Did she just say she's 3000 years old?!" Naruto asked Kyuubi in the native language of their homeworld.
Unlike Naruto, Kyuubi did not need a translating device. He could understand any language spoken by intelligent beings in the Universe naturally.
"No, you heard right. I can feel that she isn't lying either." Kyuubi also said in amazement.
"By the void, she's even older than you!" Naruto said in disbelief. "And I thought Tsunade was a granny posing as a young woman when she was only in her 50s but this girl, no, this woman is a grand-grand-many times-grandmother-"
If looks could kill, Naruto would have been a decomposed corpse from the glare both Tsunade and Diana sent him.
He did not finish his words because Wonder Woman suddenly grabbed him from the collar of his sweatshirt.
"Do you want to spend the rest of your life in that wheelchair?"
"I'm in danger." Naruto chuckled awkwardly. "Kurama, a little help? I'm still a patient."
"Relax, she doesn't have any ill intent," Kyuubi said and went back to eating.
"That threat falls flat hard now you know she's not actually going to do anything," Kara remarked.
"I know, right?" Naruto nodded.
"Just because I don't have ill intent doesn't mean I can't or won't hurt you." Diana said.
"You wouldn't physically abuse someone like me, would you?" Naruto tried his most innocent look.
"Thomas Blake thought I wouldn't hurt him because he was dressed as a cat until I sent him to the hospital," Batman smirked.
Kara's eyes narrowed contemplatively. "If he knows about your history with Catwoman, wouldn't that mean he was actually hoping you'd fuck him or something?"
Batman's smirk vanished.
Wonder Woman did feel like wanting to smack him once but when she sensed the killing intent lying dormant inside the fox she wisely decided to let go of Naruto and sat back on her chair.
"Is he always that…malicious?" Clark asked. "A constant state of anger can't be healthy for anyone."
"Tell that to Doomguy," Oliver high-five'd Barry.
Naruto waved the man off. "He's a lot more mellow now. Seven years ago, he would have attacked you all on sight on the mere principle of you being alive."
"Wouldn't he take offence to that?" Dinah pointed at his gut.
"It's the truth," Naruto shrugged. "And he's asleep again."
"Are you always that short-tempered? Sheesh..." Naruto complained as he smoothened the wrinkles on his shirt after she let go of him.
Wonder Woman appeared to be distracted by his words. In truth, she was usually nowhere near as impulsive as she had become as of late.
"No, but you're imPAULsive now," Kara made finger guns. "Eh? Eh?"
"Two things, Kara." Hal raised two fingers. "One, that was terrible and you should be ashamed of yourself. Two, we don't talk about Paul."
The kryptonian deflated.
"Anyway, I was at fault too," he continued. "Looks like no matter the planet or race, all women are sensitive about their age. Should've kept my mouth shut... hold up, how did you even know what I was saying?"
"Goddess Athena's blessing allows me to communicate with people regardless of their language." Wonder Woman said and he made an impressed sound.
"Sounds like a boon gained via divine nepotism to me," Kakashi sighed.
"You had pretty much all the Olympians bless you. What exactly did you get from them all?" Clark asked.
"More than what I use regularly," Diana's grim was that of the cat that ate not only the canary, but drank all the dairy in the farm.
"Heeh. That's so convenient. But 3000 years - that's even more than the entire recorded history of my homeworld... it's crazy when I think about it. As someone who's lived for so long, what exactly managed to rattle you that badly?"
"It's like seeing someone like Elon Musk depressed," Barry agreed. "You know if it makes him depressed, it would push anyone else to suicide."
"You're kind of alone in that aspect, man." Oliver raised his hands. "Half the people here are rich as shit."
He looked around. "Okay, more than half. I think you, Hal, Kara and probably J'onn are the only people who aren't rich as shit."
The people mentioned glared at him. Save for Kara, they were financially stable!
Understanding what Naruto was implying, Wonder Woman shook her head.
"Although I've lived for so long, I'm not as experienced in life as you think."
"Until about a year ago, I have lived on the Island of Paradise, with my Amazon sisters, away from the evils of the world. I didn't go through any problems or difficulties until I came to the Man's World. On Themyscira it was different. Just like me, my mother and my fellow Amazon sisters, everyone else was immortal. There were no crimes and any conflicts that we might have had, we solved them in a fair fight on the training grounds. It was Paradise. I didn't notice the passing of time the way I do now when I live among regular people. We would spend most of our days training, singing, praying to the gods and..."
"That's a…very sheltered life." Naruto remarked. "Monotonous too. You just eat, train, pray and sleep?"
Diana shrugged. "It was the only life I knew until I came to man's world and like my other self, I saw new things, both good and bad."
"Would have made for a nasty case of culture shock, huh?" Naruto joked. "Especially since you said you only came back after an entire era had passed."
"Yeah, I think that's the most jarring. I hadn't even gotten used to the twentieth century and when I returned after a few years, it was the twenty first century," Diana exclaimed. "I had no idea how things had changed so fast."
"Yeah, we all know." Oliver grinned. "You called a German a kraut to his face."
The Amazon flushed. "That's what Steve called all of them."
"Steve?" Naruto raised an eyebrow.
"He crashed on Themiscryia. He's part of the reason why I went to Man's World in the forties," she explained.
"Damn, you came all the way to man's world for a man?" Kara whistled. "Was he your boyfriend or something?"
Diana's smile was a tad rueful. "The…dating thing didn't quite take off between us. We were both too busy with our respective lives."
It didn't help that the second time she returned, he'd moved on with his life.
"Ah, same." Naruto nodded. He'd tried his hand at dating a few times but none of them lasted more than a month. He moved around too much and rarely had time to actually spend with them.
She trailed off seemingly at a loss.
"And? What else?" Naruto asked.
"...that's all we did..." she said uncomfortably, suddenly becoming aware of how wrong that sounded.
"That's all you did." Tsunade repeated disbelievingly. "Am I the only one glad I'm not an Amazon right now?"
Everyone raised their hands.
Diana pouted. "It's not as bad as you think it is."
"The only difference between you and your sisters is that you're open minded enough not to hate everything with an X-Y chromosome," Barry pointed out.
"Someone tried to kill us at least six times a week, why do you have to dwell on my sisters?"
"Because it feels wrong," the speedster said halfheartedly. Seeing all those beautiful women packed into one place had made his heart skip a beat.
Until one of them tried to perforate it with a spear.
"That's all you did for 3000 years?!"
Naruto looked at her as if she had grown two heads. He had lived for only around 110 years but he had had so many adventures back in his homeworld and then during his travels as an intergalactic mercenary that he could fill tens of books with them.
'I could probably earn a living just from writing novels about my adventures and selling them,' he mused.
"The tale of the gallant Naruto," Kakashi smiled.
"More like the misadventures of Naruto Uzumaki," Tsunade corrected.
"It reads adventures, granny." Naruto smiled at the former kage mockingly. "Is your age finally catching up to you?"
"No, it'd be more like Naruto's story: spiralling leaves above cooling noodles," Kakashi came up with another one.
"I don't want leaves in my noodles, I don't even like normal vegetables." Naruto frowned.
"It's not literal." Kakashi sighed.
"And if I was going to write an autobiography, I wouldn't use any of your ideas, I'd come up with a better one." Naruto said proudly.
Kakashi scoffed. "The only person with a worse naming sense than you is your father."
"Dad had cool ideas!"
"He wanted to call the rasengan the spiralling-"
"Let's not get into that now, Hatake." Tsunade cut him off. "Keep reading."
Numerous life and death battles, hilarious moments, embarrassing incidents, the thousands of different places he had seen, the different creatures and races he had encountered and so on. All that, in less than 120 years. Yet someone like Wonder Woman who had lived for over 3000 years resumed her life experiences in one sentence - training, singing and praying?
Diana's face soured even more. "There's no reason to brag, I get your point already."
Naruto laughed nervously. "Other me, Diana. My life's been pretty boring since the war."
"Something tells me that's major cap." Kara puckered her lips and looked away.
'How can someone live such a dull live and not get sick of it?! It's freaking 3000 years!'
A look of helplessness flashed on Wonder Woman's face. With her intelligence, once she became aware of it, it was not difficult to deduce that the Amazons not noticing the passing of time and them never getting sick and tired of doing the same thing - training - all over again for thousands of years was not natural. It was because of the Gods. A spell must have been cast on Themyscira to make them mindlessly chase just one goal: that of protecting the gates of Tartarus and nothing else. They were like attack dogs trained and locked up to protect a courtyard, never to leave or even think of escaping.
"That's a…pretty dark reason for living life like that." Kara remarked. "Would they even do that?"
"I wouldn't put it past them," Diana sighed. In spite of her disposition, she hadn't fully moved past the truth behind her origin and now, she had to deal with the possibility that all her sisters were under divine mind control. It was causing her a crisis of faith that she wasn't sure she was or would ever be ready to deal with.
"Even if it's true, the important thing is you got out," Naruto told her. "Rather than linger on that, try finding out if it's true and if it's possible to free your sisters from it's influence."
"I'll see to that when I return, thank you." She nodded resolutely.
"Indoctrination, isolation and mind control." Hal shook his head. "They're really pulling all the stops, aren't they?"
"I don't know what to think anymore... I don't know what I should do!" she said in exhaustion.
She had never been as confused and mentally exhausted as that before and that led to moments like the previous scene when her bottled up emotions blew up and she smashed the table in the conference room with a slap. Wonder Woman did not have any real close friends to confide in either. Hawkgirl, the only other woman in the Justice League, was not exactly her biggest fan and the others were men; she was not particularly close to anyone. She could not talk to others about what was tormenting her.
The heroes looked at Diana with mild worry. Did she feel as alone as her other self?
"You always have us to talk to, Diana." Clark frowned. "We might not be able to relate to the things a woman can, but you know we'll always be there for you whenever you need us."
"I know, Clark," Diana smiled gratefully. "But most of the issues I have aren't the kind I can share with just anyone, teammate or not."
Naruto did not have Kyuubi's Negative Emotion Sensing but he did not need a special skill to understand what she was going through at that moment. Although he had given up on trying to change people and the world a long time ago, his innate gift of connecting with people had never disappeared.
Neji Hyuuga, Gaara of the Sand, Nagato Uzumaki and even Obito Uchiha - they were people that used to hate him and even tried to maim or kill him but they were all changed by him in the end.
Mortal enemies became his best friends and even sacrificed their lives to right their wrongs. Kyuubi often laughed at him when they reminisced about their past, saying that his most powerful technique when he was young was not his Rasenshuriken but his "Talk no Jutsu".
'Talk no jutsu, huh?' Kakashi chuckled. It was fitting in a comical manner.
"That's Naruto for you." Tsunade reached over to ruffle the blond's hair with a grin. Although he was severely jaded, she could already tell the man on the screen wouldn't leave Diana to her problems.
"Ahh, cut it out," Naruto pushed her hand away.
"To be fair, you're a charismatic person," Diana complemented him.
Kara nodded. "And there's something about you that makes a person want to trust you. You have that look of someone who'd probably listen to all your problems and come up with a solution to them too."
Naruto blushed a bit. "Well, it can be a double edged sword sometimes."
"But most of the time, it isn't," Clark said. "The ability to sway people of all kinds to your side isn't one to be taken lightly. The strongest motivator isn't fear or admiration or love, it's loyalty."
Diana nodded. "I think it's a strong thing, what you have. It's as admirable a boon for a hero as it's terrifying in the hands of a villain."
He had always had the talent of making people open up to him with but a few words. The same thing was happening with Diana in the present too. Despite that he was a stranger, she felt a strong urge to confide her circumstances to him, something that she had not done even with the rest of the Justice League. The fact that she did not have any close friends did not do her situation any favours either.
"All my life I believed that I had been sculpted from clay and given life by the gods. For thousands of years, my faith in them has never wavered. But now-"
Wonder Woman stopped as though she was afraid to continue talking because if she did, her words would be a blasphemy against the gods. Her lower lip trembled but her teeth sunk into it.
It was in the wrong situation, but a voice in Naruto's head mentioned how hot the nervous amazon looked.
"Crisis of faith, huh?" Dinah smiled pityingly. Going against what she'd been raised to believe, even if justified, wasn't something that could be done easily.
"Two weeks ago I found out everything was a lie. I was born like a normal baby but not in normal circumstances. My mother was raped by the king of the gods I used to worship. And now, his wife, one of the patron goddesses of the Amazons, will try to kill me the moment she finds out her husband cheated on her again."
"Where is the justice in that?! These are the gods I worshiped for thousands of years? I'm fighting to protect justice in the name of a rapist and a lawless and murderous jealous wife that wants to kill me?"
"Beings who consider themselves to be lords over a certain people never really consider justice when they're the culprits," Clark sighed.
She let her back fall on the backrest of her chair. She was not crying but the defeat and powerlessness in her voice spoke volumes of her feelings. She was exhausted by her inner conflict between the faith she had been raised with and the cruel reality. Three thousands of years of blind faith in the gods could not be so easily erased from her heart despite her rationality speaking up against it.
Kara pursed her lips when she saw Diana grab Naruto's hand. "Can you hold the book well with one hand?"
The two parted hands with bashful smiles.
That was bette r. She felt sorry for Diana, but come on.
"You said you left your Paradise Island about a year ago, right? Why did you leave it? What drove you to come out after 3000 years?" Naruto asked.
Wonder Woman replied. "A race of alien conquerors invaded the Earth and almost conquered it. I came out to help everyone, to prevent that from happening."
Naruto made a humming sound.
"Did your gods send you to do that?" he asked.
She shook her head in a negative.
"No. Actually, Amazons are forbidden to leave Themyscira. We are bound to guard that place for eternity."
"And you left," Naruto smiled. "You defied your gods to help people. You're amazing."
"No, she's wonderful," Kara said. "A wond-"
Clark jumped in. "You've said this before, Kara."
"You don't even know what I was going to say." She grumbled, but went quiet.
He almost smiled at her words.
"So you left your home against the will of the gods?"
It was a rhetorical question so he did not expect her to answer. He continued:
"You came out, against the will of your gods, to fight against the invaders. You didn't do it for the gods or in their name. You did it to protect the innocent."
At those words, she raised her head and looked him in the eyes. Despite his rather scary appearance with his beast-like red slit eyes and thick black whisker-like marks on his face, at that moment, Wonder Woman did not feel any apprehension or trepidation when she looked at him.
Naruto and Diana blushed. When taken out of context, the way the Amazon stared at his other self was almost intimate.
"I have a feeling and it is a good one," Dinah shook her shoulders with a teasing smile.
"Diaruto seems to be a thing in the near future." Oliver formed a heart with his hands and placed it so that the two fit in both sides.
"It's the other them." Kara said quickly. Nobody believed her.
"I can't put myself in your shoes. I can't imagine how it is to blindly believe in a god for thousands of years only to find out that he raped your mother..."
"But what I can say is that the most important thing is to stay true to your values. It's not your origins that define you. It's not the gods who decide who you are. Your values and your actions are what define you as a person."
"Look at your past deeds and ask yourself again: 'who am I?'. I trust the answer will be much easier for you to find now."
"Saviour Naruto delivers his wisdom once again." Oliver clasped his hands together in prayer.
Naruto groaned. "Oh come on, give it up."
"You shared wisdom in the first chapter and a few more times." Oliver said. "You brought it on yourself, my friend."
⁂
"Put me on trial, lock me up but I'll beat it. Watch: I'll be out in days!" A bald man said but a green construct of light took the shape of cuffs around his wrists and he was thrown roughly to the ground. Even with the strength of his power suit, he could not break free.
"It's not looking good, bruv." Hal shook his head.
"He's kind of right though,"Clark admitted. "Lex has never spent up to a week in jail before."
"So that's Lex Luthor." Naruto stared at the armored man on the screen. "He's very bald."
Kara let out a relieved sigh. "So I'm not the only one who first thought that when I saw him. See, Clark? It's not an insensitive statement."
"His baldness is caused by the cancer he got from kryptonite exposure."
"The same kryptonite he keeps using to try and kill you," Kara specified. "You can't seriously expect me to feel sorry for a guy who's killing himself to kill my family."
"Sorry I messed up back there." Flash apologized after Lex Luthor was taken by the police and arrested.
"Apology accepted," Superman said with a smile. After all, although Flash did make a mistake, it was still him who dismantled Lex Luthor's weapon and beat him down in the end. "As soon as the damage is fixed-"
Barry snapped his fingers. "Easy fix."
"Got a second?" Flash said with a smirk and a red blur put everything in the room in order in the blink of an eye.
"The speed thing never fails to amaze me everytime I see it," Kakashi muttered. Like all the other times, he hasn't even seen the man move.
Just then, a yellow portal was opened in the wall of the room and a green-skinned humanoid wearing a black suit and a dark blue cloak stepped out of it.
"Who-, Who are you?" Martian Manhunter asked.
"I'm you," the newcomer replied.
He was identical in looks with Martian Manhunter. He proceeded to explain that he was from another dimension and that both of their worlds were facing a crisis.
"Wait," Hal's eyes narrowed as he turned to look at Barry. "You knew about this? You said 'of two earths'."
"Not this specifically, but there are some timelines where it happens." The speedster said.
"And you didn't think to tell us?" Clark asked.
"What would it change? We're not in one of them." Barry told the man. "Besides, the crisis doesn't involve much talking in the beginning. This isn't it."
"Then what's this?"
The speedster shrugged.
"And the dimensions appear to be collapsing on each other. Our Batman built this portal to try to find help."
"Batman?" Hal repeated. "No offense, Bats, but advanced machinery is usually Cyborg's thing. What happened to him?"
"It's safe to say he's either not a league member there or he doesn't exist." Batman guessed.
"But what can we do?" Green Lantern asked.
"We're not sure yet," the other dimension Martian replied. "But my dimension seems to be at the center of it and that would be the best place to start looking for an answer."
While the other Martian was explaining his plan to the rest of the Justice League, Batman secretly asked Martian Manhunter. "Have you read his mind yet?"
The heroes looked at Batman wearily.
"It's for a good reason," the caped crusader defended himself.
"We know, but damn. It's like the only time you ever talk to J'onn is when there's a mind you want him to read." Oliver shook his head.
Batman frowned. That wasn't true.
"Martians don't do that to one another." J'onn J'onzz answered.
"Can't? Or won't?" Batman asked.
"Both," he replied.
"I thought you Martians all communicate telepathically," Tsunade's suspicion was palpable. The woman hadn't forgotten about his attempt at poking his way into their minds.
"We do, but communication is on the surface level," J'onn explained. "To read a mind involves delving deeper. Without permission, it is an offense most of our kind deemed unforgivable. None of us did it to another without a solid reason."
None of the ninjas questioned his use of past tenses.
At that moment, Superman asked everyone. "So it's agreed then: we go?"
"Sure, ok." Flash agreed.
"Right," Hawkgirl said too.
"What about your dimension's Wonder Woman?" the other Martian asked.
"Wonder Woman is indisposed at the moment. She is temporarily not taking part in the Justice League's activities." Martian Manhunter answered his counterpart.
The Amazon glared at them. "How could you leave me?!"
Clark fumbled for a response. "On the upside, it means you can get closer to Naruto."
"That's not an upside!"
With everyone's approval, the Justice League followed the other dimension Martian into the portal. As the last two to enter, Batman and Martian Manhunter stopped before stepping through the portal.
"It might be for the best that Wonder Woman is not together with us," Batman said. "Can you send her a telepathic message and inform her of the situation?"
"Why? Do you think they are planning something?" Martian Manhunter asked.
"I don't know. But it's always better to have insurance."
Martian Manhunter looked at him blankly. Although he thought that Batman was just being his usual self - never fully trusting anyone - and despite that he did not have any reason to not trust his other self from the other dimension, he still did as Batman asked him and contacted Wonder Woman telepathically.
"At least they're telling you where they're going." Naruto tried to lift the woman's spirits.
"Yeah. Usually I just come to the watchtower and see everyone gone," Oliver said with Dinah agreeing. They weren't in the 'trinity' nor were they founding members of the league, but they wanted to be kept in the loop too.
"Uh…" Clark trailed off. "Keep reading, Naruto."
"It's finished." Naruto closed the book.
"C'est finis," Oliver lowered his head.
"Alnihaya," Batman said.
"Owari," Dinah closed her eyes.
"It's Joever." Kara sighed.
"Teleíose." Diana closed her eyes too.
Naruto looked at them weirdly. "You guys are weird as hell."
If you are reading this author note and you are capable, I am in need of a PS4 and games! Send funds to buy it or ship one! Please!
I am once again plugging Solid jj's YouTube channel. He doesn't know me but I'm a huge fan of his works. The voiceovers he does are comedy gold.
Check out Trevor Wallace too, guy's hilarious.
And it might just be that I'm remembering things wrongly but was Steve Trevor a soldier in WWII? I can't remember much of what led to him crashing on Amazon island but I think his aircraft resembled a WW2 plane. Correct if I'm wrong.